Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > What is shallow?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Sheply_E_Dorkinhimer
Joined: 2/17/2012
Msg: 51
What is shallow?Page 3 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
You're right Domo , we live in separate worlds, All the men that are hot are looking for hot women, Women that are not hot will not be meeting hot men , and non hot men will be fighting each other to get at the hot women and the not so hot women will get cats and live out their lives with fluffy , buffy and muffy cleaning cat litter watching soaps and reality TV.

The average and nice guys out there whining will sitting home with the palm sisters watching salami slamming video's
 miltplum
Joined: 2/11/2012
Msg: 52
What is shallow?
Posted: 2/24/2012 6:06:06 PM
Shallow is what somebody calls you if you don't like them.
It's a dumb airhead catch all word like creeper or stalker. It's overused to the point of meaninglessness.
Words like these are used by dumbasses because they lack both intelligence as well as a vocabulary.
Shallow has become one of those PC words that people use to pretend to be "nice."
Example...."It' so SHALLOW that people notice that Adele is overweight."
Besides the fact that "chasing pavements" makes no sense whatsoever, Adele IS rather big. If you notice her size it makes you a BAD PERSON, or shallow.

Shallow is better used to refer to the childrens' side of the pool.
 mainelyhere
Joined: 11/21/2011
Msg: 53
What is shallow?
Posted: 2/24/2012 6:38:14 PM

No. . Its a different world no offense men these days dont want to get married or have relationships. .


no dear just not with you.

you are shallow and a hypocrite and you don't seem to comprehend that you are mad that men dont find you attractive, yet are perfectly right to not find your male equivalent attractive.
 SerendipityHappens
Joined: 1/24/2012
Msg: 54
What is shallow?
Posted: 2/25/2012 10:45:04 AM

I am intrigued by this comment, as when I entered my 30's, I found the opposite to be true. That generally speaking, most men had realized that relationships required more then just a physical attraction


I agree with you Import. I mean of course everyone is concerned with appearance, but I've found that once I reached my 30s, the men I met were much more concerned with the overall package rather than being so focused appearance only. ALSO, I found that men were more concerned about satisfying their own tastes when it comes to selecting women rather than worrying about impressing their buddies with a "hot chick"


As for the question of "What is shallow?"

I think having preferences is not shallow. A man who does not date me because he's not attracted to me is not shallow, he's simply expressing a PREFERENCE. You like what you like and physical attraction is an important aspect of a relationship. Now, someone who ONLY wants to date someone because of appearance/type of car/status and doesn't really care about anything beyond appearance IS shallow in my opinion.
 Unaccounted_For
Joined: 2/19/2012
Msg: 55
What is shallow?
Posted: 2/25/2012 10:56:50 AM
I want a woman that has an oral fetish. Am I being shallow?
 Infinity_G
Joined: 1/29/2012
Msg: 56
What is shallow?
Posted: 2/25/2012 12:02:35 PM

But she won't even consider me because I'm 5'6


Right...let's say some people do care about height, you'd think small women would be more than likely to date smaller men.

In some or a lot of cases, not necessarily true.
 SylvanSwan
Joined: 8/5/2008
Msg: 57
What is shallow?
Posted: 2/25/2012 10:11:33 PM

...you'd think small women would be more than likely to date smaller men.
In some or a lot of cases, not necessarily true.


As a small woman that spent a couple of summers on the race track working around the teeniest men with the sh1ttiest attitude, not alot of women like that "little guy syndrome" that some short men seem to have.

Sorry that has been my experience with short men.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 58
What is shallow?
Posted: 2/26/2012 6:50:03 AM
What is shallow?

For starters, it's one of the most overused adjectives on Plenty of Fish (along with superficial).

From what I have noticed, it is used by people who have been excluded by someone's expressed preferences.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 59
What is shallow?
Posted: 2/26/2012 8:28:43 AM
I disagree. Which is why I don't respond to anyone w/out a picture. It doesn't matter how much you think you have in common, etc. If you meet that person & they are physically repulsive to you, that doesn't mean you are shallow. Hiding your true self, hiding your physical features, hoping you'll have the person hooked emotionally before the meet, hoping then they will overlook how you look; that is shallow. If he had told her he was 400lbs & had bad teeth in the first place, she never would have continued the contact. He was shallow & dishonest, not her. If she's not physically attracted to him, that doesn't make her shallow. Lying by ommission, leading her on, not being honest about his physical appearance, that's shallow.
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 60
view profile
History
What is shallow?
Posted: 2/27/2012 2:45:30 AM

Lmfao a man that goes for personality lmfao. Im 31 men only go for looks at my age.


This has always been both true and incorrect at the same time and most probably will always remain that way

The reason is that different types of women tend to attract different types of men irrespective of how generally attractive they might be

Two equally attractive women, but where one tends to be extremely attentive to her appearance and the other is more casual about how she looks will attract very different men even though theyre equally attractive

The one who pays a lot of attention to hair, make up, clothes etc will tend to attract men who want to nail a trophy far more readily than the other woman. And men who are looking for a woman who is confident and grounded are far more likely to go for the woman who can get ready in 10 minutes and feels just as comfortable with no makeup or false nails

So it comes back to the old adage of you attract what you project

And not wanting to genralise too much here. but my personal experience has been that womens alternative to the "sports car" has tended to be their body and its "presentation" to some extent. So it is often (but not always) the case that the woman who is overly preened just isnt going have as much "personality" to begin with as its quite commonly going to be the sort of woman who has gotten into the rut of thinking men ONLY want her for her body, so that has been pretty much her entire focus since school so it becomes a kind of self fulfilling prophecy
 arts, dining, music, w/u
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 61
What is shallow?
Posted: 2/27/2012 4:57:34 AM
Shallow: seeking more than who you are. Expecting more than who you are.
Selective: Seeking those that are like yourself. Discarding those that are not like yourself.
 damsel19
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 62
What is shallow?
Posted: 2/28/2012 10:26:15 PM
NOt shallow at all. He would be repulsive physically , totally unfit and who would want to mate with him if indeed he could even manage it ?? Weight is one thing but bad teeth another and what would his economic situation be?? Lets get real here. We may have friends that are that way but lovers??? no way.
 russell5417
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 63
What is shallow?
Posted: 2/29/2012 12:10:53 AM
Just like many have stated, we all have our preferences. I find that I'm be happiest sticking with my preferences whether I understand them or not.
 arts, dining, music, w/u
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 64
What is shallow?
Posted: 3/7/2012 6:09:41 AM
Many women post they must wear high heels and thus discard any short guys. So, they take heels over potential love? How shallow is that?
 What_He_Said
Joined: 1/11/2012
Msg: 65
What is shallow?
Posted: 3/7/2012 8:41:55 AM
The OP gave an example of what he considered shallow and then goes on about the soul, mind and heart.

Does someone have the right to be shallow according to his definition and fact pattern?

I suppose that in the strictest sense - yes.

If he wants to say how shallow, then you get into the whole likes and preferences thing. An issue that is entirely up to the individual. No matter what arguments you can come up with that say that may not be the entire package of issues. For the vast majority, I would argue that it is the initial impression that grabs our attention. However, it is person in the entirety that we proceed on. Not just one or two components that are a part of that person.

In his example he cited dental and weight issues. Well, OK, let's run with that one. If not 400 lb, how about 300? or 235? 190? you get the idea. It's a sliding scale. Where someone lies on the continuum is subjective on our own personal preference biases.

Another way to look at it is not to ask how shallow is someone, but how deep do you really wish to go in those areas because of their relative importance to you. Again, it boils down to personal preferences. No matter how hard you try, you just can't push on a string. So even if his point might be correct in the strictest sense, you can still lose in the larger scheme of things.
 arts, dining, music, w/u
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 66
What is shallow?
Posted: 3/7/2012 1:25:00 PM
It isn't a preference when one disgards who he or she is for someone that is perceived to be better. Should we not seek out a match? If I was heavy then would it not be shallow of me to reject heavy women? If I was uneducated would it not be shallow of me to seek out the educated and reject the uneducated?
 mistersomeoneelse
Joined: 9/2/2010
Msg: 67
What is shallow?
Posted: 3/7/2012 9:32:35 PM
It's a tricky question, but here's my take on this: if you genuinely make an emotional connection with someone, one can (intentionally) overlook the small imperfections in their potential partner. Granted, the original example was a bit extreme, but I think it still applies. That being said, I think the other person might get the idea to lose a few pounds/comb their hair/brush their teeth because of their feelings as well.
I don't consider myself a shallow guy, and I don't really go for what's commonly considered 'beautiful', but there are times I've felt bad about passing someone over for one reason or another. The fact is, there has to be a visual/physical element in any relationship (unless it's a very unconventional one) for things to really work, and if I'm not feeling that, it's really rather pointless to continue things. Maybe that sounds a little harsh, but that's how I operate.
 mountaingirl1980
Joined: 2/15/2012
Msg: 68
What is shallow?
Posted: 3/7/2012 9:43:48 PM
I think you could be shallow if you really like the person, see what they look like, and refuse to be friends based on that.

But you are never obligated to sleep with someone just because you like their personality. If you are not attracted to them, then not dating them is not shallow. It's just realistic.
 gstranded25
Joined: 12/23/2011
Msg: 69
What is shallow?
Posted: 3/7/2012 10:18:44 PM
That is the problem with most men on here they are out for sex nothing more. They say what they think you want to hear. They love to lead us on for a month then all the sudden quit responding to texts or phone calls, yet if I wasn't interested wouldn't have changed my plans w my girl friends to go out w the guy. Why can't men be real?? If you want an FWB go on an adult sex site. Just be real with women and quit hurting us it is so unfair and if you all decided to date another woman while seeing said woman just tell her instead of just ignoring that woman. As we all know karma don't play fair! If you aren't ready to date then don't be on this dating site or any other dating sites.
 arts, dining, music, w/u
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 70
What is shallow?
Posted: 4/6/2012 5:27:19 AM
Without question a lot of men are only looking for a quickie. Without question I am looking for someone that is tall, educated, financially secure, physically fit, cultured, witty, religious, outgoing, active... Yet those that contact me are usually NONE of those. Many women state they are looking for a prince. How many future kings do they believe are on POF?
 Infinity_G
Joined: 1/29/2012
Msg: 71
What is shallow?
Posted: 4/6/2012 6:15:05 AM
As a small woman that spent a couple of summers on the race track working around the teeniest men with the sh1ttiest attitude, not alot of women like that "little guy syndrome" that some short men seem to have.

Sorry that has been my experience with short men.


Quite silly to base your opinion on working around jockeys, is it not? lol


Just ASSUMING a short guy has the "short man syndrome", when you don't even know him?
 optimismfirst
Joined: 2/29/2012
Msg: 72
What is shallow?
Posted: 4/6/2012 10:35:11 AM
Actually in that situation, IT ISN'T SHALLOW. she had the right to be disgusted, i would too.
she was being mislead. he had no photo, there for she had no idea what he looked like
and it took her off guard and surprised her.
what are yo usupposed to think if some one has no picture?
seems fair to me.
its a different story if you knew what the guy looked like, seen pictures, conversed, agreed to meet and than be replused.
thats shallow.
 Purpleponies
Joined: 4/1/2012
Msg: 73
What is shallow?
Posted: 4/6/2012 11:42:30 AM
Theres attraction and shallow. We all are different and find certain people attractive. Have you ever been with friends who thought someone was so Hot but wasn't your cup of tea? Happens to me alot. Most gals I know do not have the same taste in men as myself. I'm also talking about personalities here.

Being shallow is when someone decides that only one type of person (usually has to be HOT) will do and won't care about what the person is like inside at all. Thats my interpretation anyways.

If someone is extremely overweight, has bad teeth then it gives off the impression that the person does not care about themselves at all. It may not be true but its the impression they give.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 74
What is shallow?
Posted: 4/6/2012 11:59:15 AM
sirthinkalot- Too many people associate personal attraction preference as shallowness. That can be one thing associated with shallowness, but far from the only thing.
As far as shallowness associated with looks, I would only say a person was shallow if they expect perfection.
In order for someone to truly be shallow, there is much more to it than high expectations for looks.
A truly shallow person is someone who shows little thought, knowledge or feeling in general.
They are the person that if it isn't about them, they don't care.
Everything is superficial.
Don't ask the shallow person about world events, don't expect deep conversation and whatever you do don't ask them to care about you or others.
Think Paris Hilton, jmo.
 Purpleponies
Joined: 4/1/2012
Msg: 75
What is shallow?
Posted: 4/6/2012 12:03:59 PM
What bamagirl said...she hit it right on :)
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > What is shallow?