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 gstranded25
Joined: 12/23/2011
Msg: 69
What is shallow?Page 4 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
That is the problem with most men on here they are out for sex nothing more. They say what they think you want to hear. They love to lead us on for a month then all the sudden quit responding to texts or phone calls, yet if I wasn't interested wouldn't have changed my plans w my girl friends to go out w the guy. Why can't men be real?? If you want an FWB go on an adult sex site. Just be real with women and quit hurting us it is so unfair and if you all decided to date another woman while seeing said woman just tell her instead of just ignoring that woman. As we all know karma don't play fair! If you aren't ready to date then don't be on this dating site or any other dating sites.
 arts, dining, music, w/u
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 70
What is shallow?
Posted: 4/6/2012 5:27:19 AM
Without question a lot of men are only looking for a quickie. Without question I am looking for someone that is tall, educated, financially secure, physically fit, cultured, witty, religious, outgoing, active... Yet those that contact me are usually NONE of those. Many women state they are looking for a prince. How many future kings do they believe are on POF?
 Infinity_G
Joined: 1/29/2012
Msg: 71
What is shallow?
Posted: 4/6/2012 6:15:05 AM
As a small woman that spent a couple of summers on the race track working around the teeniest men with the sh1ttiest attitude, not alot of women like that "little guy syndrome" that some short men seem to have.

Sorry that has been my experience with short men.


Quite silly to base your opinion on working around jockeys, is it not? lol


Just ASSUMING a short guy has the "short man syndrome", when you don't even know him?
 optimismfirst
Joined: 2/29/2012
Msg: 72
What is shallow?
Posted: 4/6/2012 10:35:11 AM
Actually in that situation, IT ISN'T SHALLOW. she had the right to be disgusted, i would too.
she was being mislead. he had no photo, there for she had no idea what he looked like
and it took her off guard and surprised her.
what are yo usupposed to think if some one has no picture?
seems fair to me.
its a different story if you knew what the guy looked like, seen pictures, conversed, agreed to meet and than be replused.
thats shallow.
 Purpleponies
Joined: 4/1/2012
Msg: 73
What is shallow?
Posted: 4/6/2012 11:42:30 AM
Theres attraction and shallow. We all are different and find certain people attractive. Have you ever been with friends who thought someone was so Hot but wasn't your cup of tea? Happens to me alot. Most gals I know do not have the same taste in men as myself. I'm also talking about personalities here.

Being shallow is when someone decides that only one type of person (usually has to be HOT) will do and won't care about what the person is like inside at all. Thats my interpretation anyways.

If someone is extremely overweight, has bad teeth then it gives off the impression that the person does not care about themselves at all. It may not be true but its the impression they give.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 74
What is shallow?
Posted: 4/6/2012 11:59:15 AM
sirthinkalot- Too many people associate personal attraction preference as shallowness. That can be one thing associated with shallowness, but far from the only thing.
As far as shallowness associated with looks, I would only say a person was shallow if they expect perfection.
In order for someone to truly be shallow, there is much more to it than high expectations for looks.
A truly shallow person is someone who shows little thought, knowledge or feeling in general.
They are the person that if it isn't about them, they don't care.
Everything is superficial.
Don't ask the shallow person about world events, don't expect deep conversation and whatever you do don't ask them to care about you or others.
Think Paris Hilton, jmo.
 Purpleponies
Joined: 4/1/2012
Msg: 75
What is shallow?
Posted: 4/6/2012 12:03:59 PM
What bamagirl said...she hit it right on :)
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 76
What is shallow?
Posted: 4/6/2012 2:57:17 PM
Purpleponies- Thank you :)
 licoricecat_1
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 77
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What is shallow?
Posted: 4/6/2012 6:53:19 PM
Shallow is when 2 people talk on phone and conversation flows and then when they meet in person, one person rejects another due to their outer appearance only. It is one thing if someone has poor hygiene and grossly different on the outside than what they posted on line. If a person is slightly heavier than their picture and their hair color is different, that is not extremely different, therefore, he/she should not be rejected. Hair color can change with a bottle of dye and with a little exercise and eating properly one can lose weight. It is shallow, to reject someone for small deviances in their appearances. However, if they are grossly obese with rotten teeth and their appearance is repulsive, I would kindly try to remove myself from the situation. I have even been known to be honest with the person, if the opportunity arises, so the person could correct their areas of concern. I need to see a current picture before I meet the person.
 _sunny_blue_skies_
Joined: 3/19/2012
Msg: 78
What is shallow?
Posted: 4/6/2012 7:15:23 PM
Not being attracted to someone DOES NOT make one shallow as we can't help who we are or are not attracted to physically/sexually. Nobody is going to have sex with someone that they're not attracted to no matter how "nice" they are or how "great their personality is". It's human nature, you cannot control physical attraction!

Shallow, however, is when you ONLY care about a persons looks and don't care at all about their personality or anything else about them. They could be boring as hell, a complete jacka$$ and have zero substance and a shallow person would be like "Oh, but he's soooo hot", lol.

Btw: If a woman prefers much taller men so she that can wear high-heels, that's not shallow either. As a woman that's just what she's attracted to. Everyone's entitled to their preference! :-)


Cheers!
 Southpaw_Grammar
Joined: 4/12/2012
Msg: 79
What is shallow?
Posted: 4/26/2012 9:01:51 PM
People have preferences. Shallow is prevelent and anymore such as in dating sites. Shallow can be having a lop sided focus on the physical rather than the inner. Some instances on profiles are people focused more on the physical trendiness of who they are looking for. I'm looking for a tattoed sweetheart, must be 6 ft and above are some examples.

Ladies! Here is some advice. You may be physically attracted to someone of a certain trendy scene ie; the tatted psychobilly, the hipster or your party boy however, their character traits may clash with yours. For example. I once took a date who had multiple tattoo's and an arm sleave to a place of what I thought to be like minded individuals. Once there I clearly could see she was very uncomfortable with the whole atmosphere there. Men can spot a fake from a mile away. The most sexy thing about a person is someone who is truly themselves and owns it.
 GoldinSFla
Joined: 10/21/2011
Msg: 80
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What is shallow?
Posted: 4/26/2012 10:33:46 PM
We are sexually attracted to people whose appearance we find pleasing. That's not shallow, that's just biology. Personality, attutide and all the other things certainly are important in a relationship, but with out attraction then a relationship really cannot go beyond the platonic level.
I know that some of us have at one point or another tried to pretend like certain facets of attraction didn't matter. For example, Ive been asked out by men shorter than me. I used to say yes, after all I didn't want to be "shallow." So I'd go out with them and figure that if they were good people, and we got along in other ways, that the attraction would finally come. It never did. I think when alot of men complain that their wives show no interest in sex, that what happened was that these women were never really ever attracted to their men, but didn't want to be shallow, so they suppressed their doubts about lack of physical desire and went ahead with the relationships and wound up with a man that they couldn't stand to sleep with. Both partners wind up unhappy and resentful. So I don't think it helps anyone to try and deny lack or overlook lack of attraction to someone.

I think shallowness is when you ONLY care about looks, or as someone pointed out early in the thread, you care more about what someone else thinks of the person you are seeing, rather than what your own feelings are. I know that if I think a person is hot, then I could care less what anyone else in the world thinks of them.
 starofgaia
Joined: 4/11/2012
Msg: 81
What is shallow?
Posted: 4/27/2012 5:14:49 AM
Most people are shallow. They only want someone for their advantage, to match what they see themselves as; this is the Western Culture.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 82
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What is shallow?
Posted: 4/28/2012 10:43:47 AM
Our personality is a showroom of who we are , (your quote) the soul,the mind, and the heart...
If I met a guy who is 400 lbs and have bad teeth , I would think that he is big time lazy ,to earn his living and to take care of his physical hygience and his sorrounding.


<div class="quote"> My feeling is we seek the soul, the mind and the heart. If one finds that online and judges by the body then they are shallow.

I don't care if the whole population would label me a shallow but no way ,I'll be kissing a rotten mouth ,have a physical intimate contact with a 400 lbs who can't even reach to soap and wash his bu tt..

Honest people speaks their mind on their real actions on dealing with matters.
 snowstorm22
Joined: 4/22/2012
Msg: 83
What is shallow?
Posted: 4/28/2012 10:44:46 AM
time to welcome the trolls :)
as people have never have anything nice or decent to say.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 84
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What is shallow?
Posted: 4/28/2012 4:34:20 PM

Shallow is when 2 people talk on phone and conversation flows and then when they meet in person, one person rejects another due to their outer appearance only If a person is slightly heavier than their picture and their hair color is different, that is not extremely different, therefore, he/she should not be rejected

Nope. Shallow is always defined by the accuser, because the other person feels some quality is important that the accuser feels shouldn't be considered important. Example is above, where one person thinks appearance shouldn't be important, and of course, the opposite, such as where a guy thinks his job, status, or income shouldn't matter at all to a woman.
We live in a world where the two sexes find different things of importance ranked at different levels for a mate. Lots of people get upset when the target of their affections isn't attracted to them, so they fall back on the 'shallow' argument to justify that they are 'right' and the other person is 'wrong'. But it will not change the end result. You can't force someone to find you attractive, and accusing them of being shallow certainly won't do it either.
 ecochick1962
Joined: 4/6/2012
Msg: 85
What is shallow?
Posted: 4/28/2012 5:07:54 PM
Shallow is not liking someone because they have blonde hair when you prefer brunettes. Shallow is refusing to date a man because he is an inch shorter than yourself. Shallow is NOT, not wanting to date someone morbidly obese, with poor hygiene and rotting teeth.
 amalefriend
Joined: 2/11/2012
Msg: 86
What is shallow?
Posted: 4/29/2012 5:21:16 AM
Why don't you try the experiment you outlined yourself and see what you think after your meet and greet?
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 87
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What is shallow?
Posted: 5/3/2012 7:42:00 AM
The OP is just enterested on Swallow Census, he is not enterested on experimenting, I think ,,,,,,,,,,,,but I could be wrong on his honesty..
 saveta
Joined: 4/23/2012
Msg: 88
What is shallow?
Posted: 5/3/2012 12:55:08 PM
The soul and the mind are contained in a body. If the body is not kept clean, healthy, and running smoothly, the mind is usually disarranged (can't speak about the soul in abstraction). Obesity and bad teeth are reflections of what's going on inside. I think it is perfectly legitimate to turn someone down in the dating game on the basis of this. Hardly shallow, merely observant.

And anyway, what is the fun in kissing someone with rotten teeth and bad breath?
 arts, dining, music, w/u
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 89
What is shallow?
Posted: 5/3/2012 1:15:36 PM
Shallow is expecting more than what you are.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 90
What is shallow?
Posted: 5/3/2012 8:36:09 PM
Shallow is the person who don't think you are as attractive as you think you are. There are women out there that would be intrested in dating but I know they are not attracted to me. So its a no go, But i can't get upset with them cause I'm not attracted to all the women out there as well. It is what it is no matter how you want to explain it someone would say you are shallow. It could be there looks or how smart they are. As another poster mentioned if they are over weight that means they dont care enough about them selves, whats inside them is not as good. It's all how you want to explain it and how you look at it. Heard guys say that women are shallow yet guys are picky about looks as much. Some said shallow is not wanting to date a person who dont make as much money as well. If it was easy to meet someone then there would be no need for a dating site.. But I guess its always the other person fault for not thinking the world of us like our mom does.. We all know that mom knows best.
 WFforDarkMate
Joined: 1/1/2011
Msg: 91
What is shallow?
Posted: 5/9/2012 3:51:42 PM
(Nope. Shallow is always defined by the accuser, because the other person feels some quality is important that the accuser feels shouldn't be considered important. Example is above, where one person thinks appearance shouldn't be important, and of course, the opposite, such as where a guy thinks his job, status, or income shouldn't matter at all to a woman. )

Yes. I agree. Consider that seldom does someone send first email because of your biting wit, great intellectual prowess, posessions, (or lack of concern for those), hopes, dreams, etc. It is because you saw their picture FIRST. Just like if you meet in person it is because you SAW something you liked about them, no matter what it was. All the other things you need in a person you find out later, but since we are on a DATING site, that usually means you want someone you want for more than a friend, and that includes sex. How many of you have had sex with someone you WEREN'T attracted to? honestly?! nor would you enter into a long term relationship or marriage with someone you did not feel that for, unless you want a sexless marriage.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 92
What is shallow?
Posted: 5/15/2012 3:47:49 PM
The official POF rule of shallow is:

If she doesn't like me...
she's shallow.
If I don't fancy her...
it's preference.

:-P
 jmark4
Joined: 7/3/2011
Msg: 93
What is shallow?
Posted: 5/15/2012 5:04:26 PM

It is NOT shallow to want to have physical attraction and chemistry with someone. Absolutely not.

Looks and attraction matter for 99% of the population I'd say. You see those rare, "good for you! (but I damn sure wouldn't )" stories on talk shows with a beautiful person meeting and falling in love with someone that almost everyone else would find physically repulsive. Meanwhile, most everybody in sight wouldn't even think about it.

If wanting a nice (enough) package to look at is shallow, then I guess I'm just wading in the pool and not diving in then. I like feeling my blood get hot when I look at someone. I like seeing her leave the room we're in and watching every step.

It's not shallow. It's normal. I think shallow is ONLY looking at the surface without caring about what's inside at all.


I think you are totally wrong. There are women like Jennifer Aniston and Halle Barre that at times can't even get dates because they are allegedly very difficult.

Chemistry has NOTHING to do with being physical with someone or their looks. THAT'S the problem. People think sexual attraction and infatuation is chemistry and it isnt.

Being shallow to me is being more into looks, money, and attention more than being into who a person is. They look at the outside over the inside of someone.
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