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 TKO38
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 134
mature women with lust based profiles Page 6 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
I think that if youre looking for the booty call, one night stand etc, then by all means go ahead. But if you are looking for something a little more meaningful, then clean up the talk.

Too many women are complaining about the kind of men that message them, yet when you read the womans profile, you can see why.

Alot of women have the same complaints 'why are there no good men?' or the 'do all men only think of one thing?' Well, yeah, when you grab onto their ....... and pull, of course.

I had one woman tell me that my profile picture is too risque.... Im still trying to figure out how. Anyway, her profile is full of inuendos, and naughty talk, yet she states at the end that she is not interested in cam to cam, sexting/sex chat. Her pictures, her chest/cleavage, her mouth kissing the cam, one is her nose...lol

Anyway, I think what you put out there, is exactly what you will receive in return. Maybe ask a friend to read over your profile if you yourself arent too sure. What harm can it do to have a second pair of eyes take a glance?
 TKO38
Joined: 3/6/2012
Msg: 135
mature women with lust based profiles
Posted: 3/19/2012 3:49:01 AM
Diancarock1976- I havent looked at your profile, but I would bet youre not walking around in your panties and bra. There are some women that do, panties and bra, bikini, or just as little clothes as possible. While dressing like this does not in anyway mean we can assume women (or men) are easy, they dont portray a good ideal. If all your shots are half naked, whether the profile is a man or womans, the responses are going to be more towards the 'hot and heavy'side of the spectrum. While these same people,dressed in jeans and t's, or shorts and t's, would probably receive completely different responses.

Alot of it is what has been ingrained in our psyche for so many years. Its not fair, that even with a regular picture, a nice top that does show some cleavage, which is inevitable for some of us, that people assume it means we are 'open for business'.

In the end it is what we show to others that will bring about the responses. If I show my boobs off in all the pics, I would expect far more naughty messages. While my boobs are nicely covered, I receive few naughty messages.

Im lost n the 'being mature' having anything to do with sexy.
 wanttobewithsomeone
Joined: 2/11/2013
Msg: 136
mature women with lust based profiles
Posted: 10/20/2013 1:37:54 PM
I would like get to know yo
 mateo45
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 137
view profile
History
mature women with lust based profiles
Posted: 10/20/2013 7:36:09 PM
I have a cleavage shot on my page, and yes I do get horne dogs who hit my page for sex, but I also get men who hit my page because they want to get to know me. So when I get those hits, I just politely delete them and keep it moving. If they think just because my cleavage is out, there going to get sex........well that's just pathetic!!! And what the hell does "being mature" have to do with still feeling sexy?

Yeah, I think some women can pull off a classy shot with a bit of cleavage, without sending the 'wrong message'. But then again, even being dressed like Mother Teresa ain't gonna discourage some of the 'horn dogs', who'd hump anything at the first sign of tits! ;-p
 LadyJyes
Joined: 1/28/2012
Msg: 138
view profile
History
mature women with lust based profiles
Posted: 10/21/2013 10:12:35 PM
As a mature woman, my profile is not lust filled, but I am direct and to the point about being with a man who is still sexually active. I don't use it as a come on, just a fact. I know what I want in a relationship and sex is one of those things. I also list my other requirements, first of which that he be a gentleman. So I do agree with what wingsonmyfeet acessement.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 139
mature women with lust based profiles
Posted: 10/22/2013 12:57:09 AM

As a mature woman, my profile is not lust filled, but I am direct and to the point about being with a man who is still sexually active. I don't use it as a come on, just a fact.

A lusty profile doesn't = looking for one night stand. Someone stating that they're looking for a relationship, with sexually advancing photos and words, doesn't mean it's automatically not lusty. Lust by itself isn't anti-relationship.

You have to understand that it's advertising. You're asking for sex (with the right guy), and you're dangling it out there. Sure, yours isn't in the Hall of Fame for it -- but it definitely sticks out. Just realize what you'll be bringing in. You'll get no sympathy if you complain "Why are all these guys writing me expecting this and that?!"

But hey, nobody should scorn you at all if you're getting the responses You expect. Nothing wrong with a profile being lust-oriented in it's advertising like yours... even if it's moreso and also doesn't even aim for a relationship. It's just when the user thinks they don't "deserve" the type of responses they commonly get due to it, that's all.
 RoaminIrish
Joined: 10/13/2013
Msg: 140
mature women with lust based profiles
Posted: 10/25/2013 11:05:40 AM

It's just when the user thinks they don't "deserve" the type of responses they commonly get due to it, that's all.


So we should ignore hundreds of years of discussion of the concept of rights, then?

She's just asking for it, right?

Wrong. A woman--or man--has every right to post whatever type of picture they want. They also have every right to expect to be treated respectfully. That's why we have the concept of "rights." It's a given. Doesn't have to be earned and cannot be taken away without due process of law.

A man (or woman) has every right to look at publicly posted pictures. S/he has every right to his/her physical reaction. You see something and you get horny? No problem. This isn't the Cathlic inquisition and we aren't going to beat you with a cat-0-ninetails b/c of your reaction.

BUT, your reaction and the picture do not give you a right to CONTACT another person and treat them as though they automatically want to know every sexual thought. You have a right to publish and write whatever you want to say on the subject, but not a right to SEND IT to another person.

Men have every right to be as horny as they are (women too). But their right ends the moment they impose--through words or actions--that horniness on another person, without her permission. That's why there are laws about it and policies--like the ones here on POF--to protect against it.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 141
mature women with lust based profiles
Posted: 10/25/2013 11:49:35 AM
^^^


Posted by RoaminIrish:
"So we should ignore hundreds of years of discussion of the concept of rights, then?"

Did you see the straightforward post by LadyJyes in Message# 144 above?
In both that and in her profile she clearly states she seeks a sexually-active guy.

If a man in her dating demographic responds and courteously references what she seeks he is clearly within bounds.
You are an intelligent woman. I am certain you would not deny LadyJyes what she very reasonably desires.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 142
mature women with lust based profiles
Posted: 10/25/2013 4:07:59 PM
So we should ignore hundreds of years of discussion of the concept of rights, then?

Yeah. It's a guy's legal right to be able to ask for sex to someone who is looking for it. :)

A woman--or man--has every right to post whatever type of picture they want.

And a person has every right to ask to be sexually active with them, too. You're taking that out of the equation.

BUT, your reaction and the picture do not give you a right to CONTACT another person and treat them as though they automatically want to know every sexual thought.

It's against the law to ask them about sex? :) Listen, guys & girls have the right to be obnoxious. They do... and nobody's going to have sympathy for one posting lust-based profiles looking for sexually active men or women and getting hornier, sexually-related responses moreso than a "normal" profile.
 RoaminIrish
Joined: 10/13/2013
Msg: 143
mature women with lust based profiles
Posted: 10/26/2013 11:15:38 AM

It's against the law to ask them about sex? :) Listen, guys & girls have the right to be obnoxious. They do... and nobody's going to have sympathy for one posting lust-based profiles looking for sexually active men or women and getting hornier, sexually-related responses moreso than a "normal" profile.


Actually, it is (in many settings) against the law, against many policies (like in the workplace, or in voluntary organizations) and against POF policy to send sexually explicit material to someone else without their permission.

That's the distinction you fail to make. You have to find out if someone is interested in sharing sexually explicit exchanges with you before indulging. Violate that and see how quickly you can end up in trouble--if the person chooses to object.

You don't actually have the right to be obnoxious TO another person. It can and does get people in trouble. Even if you are "obnoxious" in a public setting, you may actually be subject to arrest--disorderly conduct, for example, public drunkeness. The offense is in forcing others to witness your behavior. The norms are socially constructed, but we have them and law enforces them.

And you are quite, quite wrong. Many people have sympathy where you say it doesn't exist. I personally think it would be a better world if women were not accused of "asking for it" anytime they appeared attractive to someone who felt entitled to then impose their sexual response.

But since you are the champion of "she's asking for it," I don't suppose you'll ever quite get that. Still, the fact that your profile and posting history are now connected with such incredibly misogynistic views is some comfort--at least a smart woman who knows how to look will be able to see how you really think about women.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 145
mature women with lust based profiles
Posted: 10/29/2013 8:25:13 AM
against POF policy to send sexually explicit material to someone else without their permission.

It's not about sending nude pics. You're TOTALLY skewing it.

Even if you are "obnoxious" in a public setting, you may actually be subject to arrest--disorderly conduct, for example, public drunkeness.

MERELY. Merely. Any idiot can take extremes of just about anything and say "See?! See! I told you! That's the distinction you fail to make!" Nobody's talking about extremes always being fine.

YES, a woman with a lust-based profile -- is asking for More direct come-ons that would tick off most users. But many women with lust-based profiles won't mind that so much (they can just block & delete the guys who are icky or come on in a bad way) and wants the attention -- hence, the lust-based profiles the put up.

It's an advertisement portraying what you're about. If a guy puts up a lust-based profile and he gets women barking at him to show his junk to her or asking to hook up, he's Asking For It, too. But many guys who do that won't be complaining because they were going for that angle as well.

In essence, no Person should play the sad "victim card" when they're doing something like that. No sympathy from a right-minded person will be given.
 RoaminIrish
Joined: 10/13/2013
Msg: 146
mature women with lust based profiles
Posted: 10/29/2013 5:47:58 PM

MERELY. Merely. Any idiot can take extremes of just about anything and say "See?! See! I told you! That's the distinction you fail to make!" Nobody's talking about extremes always being fine.


And here's where your lack of discernment is obvious. "Extremes" in whose eyes?

"She's showing her ankles under her burqa; she's asking for it."
She shows 1/2 inch of cleavage--she's asking for it.
She shows an inch of cleavage--she's asking for it.
Her skirt is short (above the knee)--she's asking for it
Her skirt is short (mid thigh)--she's asking for it.
She's wearing a bustier--she's asking for it.
She's posing naked--she's asking for it.

You think it's only the latter that's "asking for it," maybe? (Hell, I don't know--your position is so hostile to women that the burqa one might be where you think the "asking for it" starts). That's what's idiotic. You think that there is actual agreement on what can be construed as extreme?

That's why the line isn't some arbitrary notion of "what is asking for it"--the line is a clear distinction between your right to look and enjoy (or not enjoy, as the case may be), and another person's right to be free from the intrusion of explicit sexual content (which isn't just pictures).

"She asked for it" went right out of the defense manual along time ago. Let it go; it's a losing position.

I can't even imagine how hard someone would laugh if they had to question a guy about his behaviors towards a woman, and his answer was, "Well, she asked for it!!"

And if it were not for the fact that what you argue is hostile to both men and women, it would be just that: laughable.

You don't even understand that you don't represent "right-minded" people. You represent people who believe in "she's asking for it." All the people--not just the ones you think are reasonable like yourself (you're not), and who would only say "she asked for it" when a woman made a very sexually explicit profile. No; you represent the use of the phrase as a legitimate defense for crossing that line and imposing on another. When you defend that phrase, you are siding with anyone who chooses to use it, because you can't control what others will interpret as "asking for it." You *want* to control it, but it is that slippery slope--which is why law and history and the concept of rights have all rejected it.

And you don't even understand why this is important. It's important because until people stop thinking (even secretly), "Well, she asked for it," they will not hold others accountable for their actions. And *that's* what it is really about.

So, once more, for those who have trouble making clear distinctions:

You have a right to post whatever you want, about yourself.
You have a right to look at and enjoy whatever you see posted.
You do not have a right to send others sexually explicit material without their permisssion.
You *do* have a right to complain/take action when your rights are violated. "You asked for it" is just a lame attempt to deprive you of that right. Ignore it--law, history, and policy are on your side.
 FloridaRes123
Joined: 5/11/2013
Msg: 148
mature women with lust based profiles
Posted: 11/3/2013 4:09:52 AM

Hi there OP, I really feel the problem here is when guys assume everything a woman does, says or way she dresses is a sign/signal of sexual interest to him ..as I mentioned females love dressing up and looking pretty, they can spend hours dong this but is it sexual? not always,


Would it be sexual if she took a picture of her body with her head cut off in the photo? If someone is actually aiming the camera and specifically left her face out of the picture, chances are it's meant to be sexual in nature. Seen a few of those.

I think some are more into it for an ego boost than actually meet someone face-to-face.

There are some cases where it's very obvious a woman is trying to be sexual and of course, she reaps what she sews. I recall a woman on here that had, "I'm your blonde haired, curvy beauty! Come rescue me!" and 2 of her photos was her standing in a string bikini IN the bathroom. Not at beach or at the pool, but in the bathroom. Though some men might be gentlemen-like when responding to her ad, chances are they would at least throw a little subtle
innuendo into their message somewhere in there.

The only time she may have problem with it, is if it's coming from a guy she isn't attracted to. LOL
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 149
mature women with lust based profiles
Posted: 11/3/2013 9:04:08 AM
You *do* have a right to complain/take action when your rights are violated.

Merely being what one (and many can) sees as obnoxious is not violating any rights. That's what you fail to understand, and only bring extreme situations to mind and labeling everything as such. Merely being rude, off-key, too-strong adjectives, etc -- is part of life. Put on your big girl pants -- everyone deals with it in life.

You represent people who believe in "she's asking for it."

If she is, yes. If he is, yes.

I call a spade a spade. I'm not some righteous biased-to-a-gender person, nor am I going to heed to PC talk to never say "SHE is asking for it". If a guy peppers his profile with self-pics in the mirror with his shirt off, with one hand holding the camera and his other hand going down below his belt where the photo's cut off at his wrist and waistline with seemingly no pant line across it -- He's Asking For It if he gets messages from creepy/ugly/weird women asking for photos of his junk. Sorry, no sympathy there for HIM. :) I seriously doubt you would be overwhelmed with sympathy for such a suffering fellow.

Same goes for both genders -- no one gets a free pass to play the victim card if they're advertising themselves in a particular way. If a guy or gal posts pictures of themselves hammering beers at rock concerts, talks about having fun fun fun & sex & intimacy in the bedroom -- yet cries foul when people they meet just want to hook up while they're claiming they want something 'real' -- Sorry, They Were Asking For It.

Just because in some instances some of such people are female, doesn't change anything. At what point would a woman (or guy if you ever thought of it) Would be asking for it? It being a cheesy sexually oriented come-on... No possible profile would ever be asking for it under any circumstances if it's a female? Many people Are asking for it and like that (to one degree or another). It's the clueless types who don't understand what they're advertising who cry foul, while the others enjoy the type of attention they are Knowingly asking for (at least from select folks they find attractive).
 RoaminIrish
Joined: 10/13/2013
Msg: 150
mature women with lust based profiles
Posted: 11/3/2013 3:43:19 PM

At what point would a woman (or guy if you ever thought of it) Would be asking for it?


All that, and you still don't get it. There is no "asking for it" demonstrated by behavior. You have to have words, consent--a verbal invitation. Capice? You wanting it some other way, saying it is some other way, does not make it right.

Wanting it to be different, thinking you call a spade a spade, blah, blah, blah, doesn't change anything.

You didn't say "he's asking for it" to talk about men who like to enjoy their sexuality without others imposing on them. If you had, we could have that discussion. Quit trying to act like this is about gender bias. This is about civil rights. If a guy is upset b/c women send him unsolicited sexual messages based on the fact that he has his shirt unbuttoned, then of course I would be arguing that he has a right to post pictures without inviting sexual commentary from people he doesn't know.

Women have every right to demonstrate their sexuality without being harrassed for it. Just because men don't get that does not make it "ok" when they violate her right to be free from harrassment.

If a person insists on continuing in uninvited behavior, they are penalized for it. It does not matter what the "victim" does or did--get it? There is no "she's asking for it" except in the minds of people whose brains are too small to process the difference. That is, fortunately, an ever shrinking group. More and more people understand the line between what a person does with their own time/space/body, and what others may do to violate that time/space/body.

You aren't calling a spade a spade, you are defending an attitude that is based in denying personal responsibility of those who take action against others. In this context, you are defending the right of one person to decide what another wants without actually asking. Is that really the position you want to be in? You and I both know that is exactly the type of behavior that gets people into trouble. Why would you want to encourage people to do that, by trying to shout down the person who is actually *not* violating anyone's time/space/body?

Basically, "she's asking for it" simply means, "you get what you deserve for being a sexual person." The message (to women) is pretty clear--don't be sexual, or guys are entitled to react however they want, to impose on you however they want.

You want to argue that there are "lines" that make it "clear" what is "asking for it" and what isn't--and that's just crazy talk, because it is not in touch with reality. You should hear the s*it I get for my picture. I don't **** about it, I take appropriate action.

No one gets to decide for another person that "s/he is asking for it," based on a generalized behavior of that person (posting pics of themselves). You *ask.* It really is that simple.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 151
mature women with lust based profiles
Posted: 11/4/2013 7:30:21 AM

All that, and you still don't get it. There is no "asking for it" demonstrated by behavior.

By what they post on their profile? Ummm, absolutely. It's an advertisement. If someone says "I only date white guys", they're asking for pretty much just white guys -- they should expect a high % of that. If someone says "I only date black guys", they're asking for pretty much just black guys. Etc etc.

Displaying oneself in a slutty way -- whether guy or girl -- is asking for a higher % of sexually-oriented messages. That doesn't mean just because a guy or girl who gets such a message was asking for it. Just that SOME are. And yes, there's some who expect it. Some are clueless and believe they can have pics of themselves in lingerie on their bed, mentioning things about sex, and Advertising themselves that way -- yet not expect sexually-based come-ons. Really?

That's like seeing a guy write a profile writtenlikethis andhardlyhas anyspaces and no commas orpunctuationand writes nonstopformany paragraphs strungtogetherlikethis -- and then at the end wonders why no women are writing him.
 DayTripLover
Joined: 7/14/2011
Msg: 152
mature women with lust based profiles
Posted: 11/4/2013 9:34:11 AM
I saw one profile on another dating site, and this woman was half naked in all of her pics. There isn't much that is conservative about me. If you got it, flaunt it. But don't sit and say, like the woman with this profile did, that you are tired of these childish responses from men. And that all men want is some ass and a booty call. I wonder why that is? Why, oh I don't know, maybe it's because of the cropped picture of just her butt in a thong. Or maybe it's the one where her areola is clearly vissible. The ones that kill me are the ones where women strike a sexy pose, while holding on to their child's crib. Then have the audacity to have on their profile to not hit them up looking for a fwb or a one night stand.
 Proteaus
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 153
mature women with lust based profiles
Posted: 11/6/2013 5:53:15 AM
to opp : I would say about 80% of the profiles I look at has the obligatory skin shot . Always accompanied by a duck face or a nasty little grin . Probably the only thing they have to offer , at our age they know exactly what they are doing . I get a laugh out of how after having pictures like that they will state they are looking for a good man . Then complain why men send them nasty mails .
 Nj2ut
Joined: 11/5/2012
Msg: 154
mature women with lust based profiles
Posted: 11/6/2013 11:41:06 AM
It sorta reminds of one person on another dating site. Most of her pics pretty much show cleavage. She does say she isn't looking for friends wirh benefits. Every time time she updates her photos it's ones with cleavage.

Personally I would never send her or any woman a vulgar message myself, but I'm curious what's the motivation is behind it.
 Archiver
Joined: 3/10/2013
Msg: 155
mature women with lust based profiles
Posted: 11/6/2013 7:07:47 PM

I would say about 80% of the profiles I look at has the obligatory skin shot . Always accompanied by a duck face or a nasty little grin.


Geez Proteus, your picker is really broken. Why do you keep glomming onto sluts? If you want to find a woman who really wants a good man, check the profiles of good women. Look at the profiles of women who pose modestly in their primary photo, not at the "hotties". Mature women don't make duck faces.

BTW, your new photos are very nice, a big improvement.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 156
mature women with lust based profiles
Posted: 11/6/2013 11:18:15 PM

I would say about 80% of the profiles I look at has the obligatory skin shot .

Well, it's not so much skin -- but as the title suggests "lust based" -- which usually has some show of skin of course, but that's not it, in and of itself.

A girl can be in a bikini on boat with friends that shows an obvious amount of skin, but just them sitting down smiling, getting a tan, nothing provocative or showing off, etc. Take that compared to lingerie on a bed leaning forward dangling cleavage with an exotic look on her face, followed by many other pics like that.... although it shows less skin than most pics of one (merely) in a bikini, it's blatantly lust-based. So it's what your advertising angle is -- not really the level of skin.

It's pretty common-sense. If one is offended or taken aback by sexual come-ons, they shouldn't go the sexual advertising route, even if they get a bigger bump in attractiveness than many others would if they did the same.
 DawnLuvs2Run
Joined: 8/8/2013
Msg: 157
mature women with lust based profiles
Posted: 11/7/2013 7:38:13 PM
I haven't read the whole thread but I gather the main comment or feedback seems to be that if a woman shows skin, cleavage, etc she is asking for sex.

So if we use the same logic and see that a man has posted a shirtless photo, can we assume that's all he wants....lol.

As for sexual come-ons, none of my photos show cleavage. A little leg maybe but no cleavage and I still get rude emails of that nature.
 ProcolHarem
Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 158
view profile
History
mature women with lust based profiles
Posted: 11/8/2013 3:20:00 PM
^^^
I guess you need to look at a lot of women's profiles to get the context.

If a guy is at the beach shirltess I'd think nothing of it. Standing in from of he bathroom mirror showing off his 6-pack? Obvious attempt to get attention based on those abs.

It's not the skin, but how it's presented. I think that's all the op meant.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 159
mature women with lust based profiles
Posted: 11/9/2013 11:46:38 AM

As for sexual come-ons, none of my photos show cleavage. A little leg maybe but no cleavage and I still get rude emails of that nature.

I think pretty much any woman with a normal profile is going to get at least some sexual come-ons. It's like going to a bar, yet there's less fear & intrusion in a come-on, as it's done virtually -- so yeah. That's part of the game...

What gets me is women who are being lust-based in their profile construct, and yet crying foul for getting so many.

It's like a girl who puts "Not looking for commitment" and "Hang Out" on their profile and says they're just looking to go out, no expectations, whatever happens happens, etc -- then cries out that guys that they meet up with just want to fool around and not get into a relationship.
 drivingharmony2
Joined: 6/23/2013
Msg: 160
mature women with lust based profiles
Posted: 11/9/2013 1:57:21 PM
Personally, I think sexual innuendos can be fun, but of course not right away and only if both parties are interested in each other. I like lots of humor and I change my headline here and there. Well, I had this headline up...."Reel fisherman know how to wiggle a worm." Light, fun and ok, I know what you all are all thinking.....I get it. I did receive a message from a guy which read "I'll let you sit on my face every day." That's all it read. Of course, I blocked the uninteresting turd. And, I replaced the headline. I'll come up with something even better! :P
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