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Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 33
High maintenance womanPage 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
{Since when have you seen a millionare with a homely, mousy woman?}

That would be yesterday when I cleaned their house...ok so maybe she wasnt "mousy" but she sure is homely! and a very sweet lady.
Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 34
High maintenance woman
Posted: 9/4/2009 7:45:26 PM
Without digging into the emotionally high maintenance, I just want to gripe about the physical high maintenance.

I've been seeing this nerdy genius. I think he's absolutely adorable but quite frankly he is not mainstream society's idea of a pretty man. I wont go into details because I find him charming, fascinating and just absolutely cute.

The thing that bugs me, is that I still have to be a hottie even if I choose to date a nerd.

Why does he get to be the charming nutty professor and I still have to pull off the tired old superbabe routine?

It's not about how much money I spend on my appearance, it's about the time and effort involved and the fact that he gets to be his wonderful, weathered, disheveled self and yet he still needs me to keep up appearances.

I missed a pedicure. My toenail polish was chipping and worn. The man said something about it. I'm not kidding!
Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 36
High maintenance woman
Posted: 9/4/2009 8:14:03 PM
Did he complain, admonish, or just notice and remark like he pays attention to the details of your appearance, or was it the kind of ribbing that men forget women will take the wrong way, that men do to each other affectionately?

He said it in a sort of "Eww" way. He didn't actually make an "ew" sound, but he might as well have.
On more than one occasion he has said something about my previously "pretty feet."
They weren't all that pretty on that particular day.
I dunno, maybe he's hiding a foot fetish.

Guys here's a clue: PRETTY takes time, effort and money. Not all of us roll out of bed looking like 19 year old models. In fact, MOST of us DONT.
It takes more effort with each passing year.

Joined: 8/20/2006
Msg: 37
view profile
High maintenance woman
Posted: 9/4/2009 8:15:49 PM
Is it really all about the shoes, makeup and clothes that defines high maintenance? I say whatever you can afford is OK- if you can't afford it find something you can. Hint ladies- most guys don't care what brand your wearing-unless its bankrupting them- they just care about whats in them.

But for me- a high maintenance women is all about being insecure, relying on superficial things to make her secure, becoming unglued when the smallest obstacle presents itself requires attention 24/7. They can become a bottomless emotional pit that no amount of comfort can fill after a while. It can be draining.

I don't think anyone male or female wants that- but if it looks good enough they may put up with it for a while.
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 38
High maintenance woman
Posted: 9/4/2009 8:17:31 PM
Typically someone who puts all of their own stock into their appearance. They believe that they are the universe and everything revolves around them. There is really no time for anyone else in their life as the only person that is important is them.
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 39
High maintenance woman
Posted: 9/5/2009 10:11:49 AM
There are men and women on this forum who divorced their better halves because they were low maintenance. Couch potato, anyone?

Actually I place couch potatoes in the high maintenance category. They are always likely to expect everything to come to them, quite literally. If they were low maintenance, they'd get up and get it.

If they are out of shape, they whine that no one wants em and that people should love them for who they are, though it's likely they don't love themselves. Again, high maintenance.

Couch potatoes are more like low energy, not low maintenance.
Joined: 4/22/2009
Msg: 40
view profile
High maintenance woman
Posted: 9/5/2009 10:13:39 AM
Don't get involved unless High Maintenance is Mutual

"...A KPMG director claimed £545,000 in fraudulent expenses to pay for his wife's extravagant lifestyle, London Southwark Crown Court (UK) heard ..."

Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 42
High maintenance woman
Posted: 10/16/2009 11:29:07 PM
Why do men always complain about high maintenance women after she's dumped them and not before?

Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 43
High maintenance woman
Posted: 10/16/2009 11:41:05 PM

So what does it mean to YOU..?? "a high maintenance woman"?
Are you one? have you been with one? would you like one?

My idea of high maintenance is not just monetary and superficial. To me it also pertains to the emotional aspect. Some women (and men too) can be very emotionally demanding in relationships. You would have to have a lot of patience and understanding to deal with that.

I consider myself low maintenance, it doesn't take much to make me feel happy and content. My first LTR was a high maintenance man emotionally, and it was draining. I wont go down that kind of road again.
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 44
view profile
High maintenance woman
Posted: 11/29/2009 10:56:00 AM
First thing that comes ti mind is materially: She requires a lot of glitz, bling and atmosphere to be happy.

But I suppose there are emotionally high-maintenance types as well.

I dunno, a woman who has to spend a lot of money (hers OR mine) to be happy probably will just spend spend spend and won't save for the future, and this will be a drain on both our finances if we combine finances (get married). But, if we keep finances separate, she can spend spend spend her money all she wants. It'll suck when she hits age 65 and doesn't have a dime ahead though.

Now, if she saves and only spends a little, great! She's my kind of woman! Nothing wrong with "treating yourself" every once in awhile, especially if you've worked hard for the money and it's your money that you earned, not credit.
Joined: 11/17/2009
Msg: 45
High maintenance woman
Posted: 11/29/2009 11:26:09 AM
What is a high maintenance woman? Well to me its someone who has to be candled with kid gloves because they think life is mean to them. A high maintenance ANYBODY is a person that instinctively gives you the impression that you have to do things to keep them happy. Its actually a sucking down of your mental resources in an effort to keep things smooth.
Theres always a problem or something that distesses them that they just have to communicate to you so that you have some empathy for thier plight.

If a woman is truely into you she won't have the time to be "high maintenance". If she starts to revert because she is use to you its time to say next. There is no fix for them.
Joined: 5/19/2008
Msg: 46
High maintenance woman
Posted: 11/29/2009 1:28:33 PM
A lot of opinions given here. Mostly centering around either money or emotions.

The pure and simple answer to what a high maintenance woman is? A selfish woman that only thinks of herself in the relationship and nothing else matters except her wishes and whims, and the man has to provide for them.

That is all.

Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 50
view profile
High maintenance woman
Posted: 11/29/2009 2:20:40 PM
High maintenance on her own that is a woman....(if she can afford her means)....and take care of her own business....
Joined: 11/4/2009
Msg: 51
High maintenance woman
Posted: 11/29/2009 4:02:19 PM
Joan of Arc, was considered high maintenance. Always getting herself in trouble on behalf of others. Having to be rescued and bailed out of various jails and dungeons. a True Kindred, who was also a Professional Schizophrenic and Bag Lady.
Joined: 10/21/2009
Msg: 53
view profile
High maintenance woman
Posted: 11/29/2009 5:36:41 PM

She will even date someone just to have the guy paint her family room or re do the lawn. then dump him. How about just to have a travel companion to get a cheap trip. No problem just dump him after. Men are disposable to her. Once she had a pub date at 3pm to meet someone from the is site. After appetizers and drinks, the date said i am going home for supper. She expected him to buy her dinner too. She phoned him up and told him he was a loser/All the makeup and girly girl stuff she does( and she calls it that) is to snag a man for " what he can do for her">

This sounds more like a gold digger!
 AU 4 U
Joined: 10/22/2009
Msg: 54
High maintenance woman
Posted: 11/29/2009 6:23:00 PM
To me there is;
#1) BARBIE,,,Anything like a Professional Hairdresser, Cosmetic Salesclerk etc, or rich housewife that spends more than $400.00 per month on personal appearance(lousy sales pitch, no substance).
#2) IVORY GIRL,,,Naturally beautiful, still uses to much cosmetics and hair/nail products etc.
#3) GRANOLA GIRL,,,Naturally beautiful, when it comes to cosmetics and hair products, LESS IS MORE, takes care of her personal grooming.
#4) TREE HUGGER,,,Doesn't take care of her personal appearance, eyebrows, nails, dreadlocks, kaki pants etc,,,,,quintessential back woods girl(save the trees).

For me #3, is the best a there is no high maintenance needed with this type of LADY. She will always look just as good in the evening sitting around a fire pit with friends as well as waking up with her in the morning with her,,,no need for her to worry about breaking a finger nail as well, she is the type of person that makes bread/roles from scratch as well has a herb/spice garden. She always smells good W/O using the most expensive Colognes, Tastes good due to her healthy diet, and has a good sense of friends as she prefers to entertain in the back yard rather than be in a restaurant or nightclub.

Joined: 5/19/2008
Msg: 58
High maintenance woman
Posted: 11/29/2009 7:02:07 PM

wild heart said:
... If so, then who are all these people that live paycheck to paycheck?

All the people that were unfortunate enough to end up in a relationship with a high maintenance person!
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 59
view profile
High maintenance woman
Posted: 11/29/2009 7:03:44 PM
^^^ Words to live by.
Joined: 11/4/2009
Msg: 60
High maintenance woman
Posted: 11/29/2009 7:18:26 PM
My Father was 9 years older than my Mother. When they married she was 15, he was 24. They were married for over 50 years, when Mother was diagnosed with Parkinsons. She also had a back condition that required surgury, that did not go as hoped for. Eventually she became completely dependant on others for her very maintenance and do give her some semblance of dignity.

Father maintained and sustained her to the best of his ability, even after he had a massive heart attack. (The doctors said, he would not survive the week) He was so determined to be there for the one he loved, that he left the hospital, to visit Mother, so her could be the one to feed her and love her. He managed to survive almost another year. Mother didn't last much longer without him to give her the genuine and true love that had been tried and tested through both the good and the difficult times.

Their story is one of strength, determination, loving maintanence and genuine respect from one sacred being unto another. I am not sure that many of us have any concept of the meaning of maintaining and sustaining another, any longer. It appears from reading this forum that the minds and hearts of so many are ignorant and cold. I am so happy that I had decent beings train me in the art of maintaining and sustaining another sacred being in genuine love.

Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 62
High maintenance woman
Posted: 11/29/2009 7:36:21 PM

2 types
heres emotional - needy, demanding, dependent, argumentative, out of control and so on.

martial - always has the need to buy something, always trying to look good buying things she don't need, overspending, enough is NEVER ENOUGH.

There are also High maintenance men out there too not just females.

Yep, that pretty much sums it up.

Two basic types of high maintenance people (not just women).

The emotional - needs constant approval, needs constant reassurance that you'll never leave, constantly nags you to "talk about the relationship," constantly "needs" you to vent about every little infraction she's been subjected to during her day, texts you 50 times a day and if you don't reply within seconds starts to threaten to "break it off because she can't deal with someone who doesn't communicate" - so on.

The materialistic - expects dates to consist of expensive dinners and wine (and expects them often), expects you to walk around in Zara shirts, expects you to drive a BMW, and turns her nose up to anything "blue collar" in nature.
Joined: 5/19/2008
Msg: 63
High maintenance woman
Posted: 11/29/2009 8:58:02 PM

Though beautiful that story was, it's not even close to the sentiment that was intended in the topic. There are very few people in the world who actually know what love is that would consider that scenario "high maintenance" in the context of this thread.
Joined: 11/4/2009
Msg: 65
High maintenance woman
Posted: 11/29/2009 9:19:49 PM
It does apply. Why are people not happy just to have someone by their side as a good companion and soul mate. When they speak about people being high maintenance, as in high maintenance woman (which is a term I had never heard, until I read this forum) they remind me of a flock of chickens that simply want to peck at each other, because they have nothing more important to do with their time. It seems to me that relationships between men and women are too easy acquired, and too easily disgarded. What about the sacred feelings of another? Why do people behave this way to each other? I do not understand. As I said, this way of speaking and thinking is strange to me, and it does not seem to make those of you who ascribe to it, very happy.

Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 66
High maintenance woman
Posted: 11/29/2009 9:46:55 PM
I am so high maintenance that they gotta call in a clean up crew after I've left the building.
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 67
High maintenance woman
Posted: 11/30/2009 12:25:05 AM
Well, if that isn't the biggest load of stereotyping bullshit I have ever seen, I don't know what is.

I like my professional hair hair is beautiful and takes someone who knows what they are doing to trim it correctly...even though it is very long, I don't want some scissor happy kid chopping up my hair!. I probably spend more than $400 a month on everything from cosmetics, to clothing, and shoes. Women's apparel for a professional office is expensive, and one of my suits that I wear will cost me at LEAST several hundred dollars, on sale. But that same suit will be worn and rotated in my wardrobe for years, because quality lasts. Yes, my handbags and shoes are expensive. I don't wear Manolos every day, but I have them for evening wear, because in my line of work it is what is acceptable. My daily shoes run about 100 bucks a pair, and yes I have tons of them.

But here is where I have the problem with your little list. Even though my profession deems it necessary to dress well and spend money on the things I wear, I do not wear too much makeup, I wear the appropriate amount. My hair takes a while to fix in the mornings, so I allot that amount of time to it, but I get complimented all the time on it, and my boyfriend loves it. My nails are done regularly, and guess what? My boyfriend goes to the shop with me and we get pedicures together...took some convincing to get him to get one the first time, but now we enjoy going together and relaxing. It's nice to have groomed hands and feet, and it is something that he and I do together as a couple.

But you know, I make biscuits from scratch, can cook anything he likes usually without a recipe, I do the laundry, clean house, and wait on him hand and foot as much as he will let me when he is with me. That is because I love him.

Yes, I like to maintain the outward appearances, and make sure I look good, not only for myself but for my man...who wants to be seen with a slob? But I also iron his shirts, and cook like a gourmet (I have owned my own restaurant and have the training), all while in a nice dress and shoes.

So please don't categorize women who take the time and effort to maintain their appearance with being stupid, or shallow, or gold-diggers. Some of us are quality women who know that ALL these things we do in our lives count for something, and we want to be the best person we can be.

So yeah, I guess I'm high maintenance, but if you want the best, you should work for it.
Joined: 10/22/2007
Msg: 68
High maintenance woman
Posted: 11/30/2009 4:59:55 AM
Here is the deal: All relationships take work. Some require too much work. On an emotional level, if they are hard to get along with, they are by definition high maintenance.

High maintenance simply means they are more trouble than they are worth.

Women have a lot of wiggle room with personal grooming, shoes, and cloths though... beauty = attraction = love... to some extent. But yes, in some cases they can get out of hand.

And yes, sad as it is for me to say it, too many women are materialistic. Buying something new all the time is not the secret to happiness.

By the way... did you know that it is more expensive to raise a girl than a boy?

But men can be just as materialistic... boys with their toys.

"High Maintenance" is someone who always sees themselves and their problems as the center of the universe. The earth revolves around them plain and simple.

Personally I think a lot of that behavior come from people who are a)sociopaths b) people who feel so insignificant that they have to turn to drama, emotional extremes, making big scenes, etc so as to inflate their stature in a room. In other words they constantly (not occasionally as most people do) have to make everything about them. It is almost the same as obsessive impulse disorders that compel certain people to make themselves louder then everyone else in the room to compesnate for some kind of anxiety issue.

- That only covers a few high maintenance traits. There are many more... for example, a woman with a stalker ex could be considered high maintenace... baggage, kids, irresponsible, medical problems, mental problems, workaholic, smoker, drug user, gambler.... the list goes on and on.
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