Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 spitfire6844
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 15
view profile
History
Pulling teeth style of communications - is it age? - or gender? or is it just me?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)

Is this an age thing?... is it possibly a lack of comfort with the technology thing?... is it gender related?


It's none of those things. Some people are not very good communicators. Those who aren't won't change on a dime. They will remain uncommunicative. It shouldn't be necessary to prompt someone to do the normal give-and-take in conversation. If you are messaging someone who isn't forthcoming, you'll need to decide if you want to meet that person anyway or just move on.
 justme1201
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 16
Pulling teeth style of communications - is it age? - or gender? or is it just me?
Posted: 9/1/2009 10:21:11 AM
This happened to me again just recently, and I don't get it. He initiated the contact, I replied. He replies back and provides his phone #. I reply saying I'd prefer to exchange a couple more emails before calling, and ask him some open-ended questions to continue the conversation. He replies back with one line, period. Guess he was taken aback that I wasn't ready to call yet.

I don't plan to continue the correspondence.
 OLIZAY
Joined: 5/4/2007
Msg: 17
Pulling teeth style of communications - is it age? - or gender? or is it just me?
Posted: 9/1/2009 12:04:30 PM
Personally I think people who respond with vague responses lack communication skills and would probaly suck going on a date with. In my opinion if you can't write a basic paragraph which is about 4 to 5 sentences you probably don't have much to offer socially which totally defeats the purpose of this website which is to be social for the purpose of meeting people. How crazy is it that people on a website are looking for people to date and can't even supply basic communication.
 callmelori
Joined: 12/3/2008
Msg: 19
view profile
History
Pulling teeth style of communications - is it age? - or gender? or is it just me?
Posted: 9/1/2009 12:43:05 PM
Some people just don't like to type. Perhaps they don't have the greatest typing skills. I won't even touch on grammar. The one thing I hate to see in email is emoticons. I cringe when I open an email and see 10 flashing, dancing things in it. I know people love those things and a couple isn't bad, but multiple emoticons dancing and flashing in one short email is way too much. Those scream "I want attention" to me. Probably the sender is just thinking they are cute, but in the case of emoticons, my opinion is that less is more.
 OLIZAY
Joined: 5/4/2007
Msg: 20
Pulling teeth style of communications - is it age? - or gender? or is it just me?
Posted: 9/1/2009 1:10:13 PM
Honestly if they dont like to type then they shouldnt choose this avenue as a way to meeting new people. Being able to type is almost a requirement to dating over the net. Hell the whole process is started from typing. I just laugh at people who sign up for internet dating then cry that they don't like to type. Complete waste of time and shows a serious lack of social skills.
 jen31465
Joined: 7/5/2008
Msg: 21
view profile
History
Pulling teeth style of communications - is it age? - or gender? or is it just me?
Posted: 9/1/2009 1:55:48 PM
I am so guilty of the ellipses thing.....dang it.
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 22
view profile
History
Pulling teeth style of communications - is it age? - or gender? or is it just me?
Posted: 9/1/2009 3:08:37 PM
not everybody has writing skill. not everyone feels comfortable communicating in writing. their messages are probably going to be short and bland. that's doesn't necessarily mean they're not interesting people, just that it's going to be tougher to find that out when this is the initial means of communication.

that being said, ya gotta see some kinda spark. one gal i was exchanging with seemed bright enough, and her first message sounded genuinely interested, but the only questions she could find to ask me were how i was experiencing the weather. sigh.

and to the guy who won't even give out his first name - dude, i'm sorry, your logic fits neatly and all, but you have no balls if simply giving out your first name here is an unacceptable risk. yeah, some women don't mind being with a weenie, but i'd sure mind being with one of those women.
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 23
Pulling teeth style of communications - is it age? - or gender? or is it just me?
Posted: 9/1/2009 3:13:58 PM
Here's what I don't get. Why on earth is anybody writing anybody if they're not enjoying it?

I exchange e-mails with people who're having a good time talking to me, and I, them. Sometimes it leads to dates and sometimes not. But it's never wasted time - we had fun.

I don't get the whole idea of looking at this as some sort of work with an expected payoff. I think if it feels like that, you're doing something wrong right from the jump.
 unsolvedmystery
Joined: 8/18/2009
Msg: 24
Pulling teeth style of communications - is it age? - or gender? or is it just me?
Posted: 9/1/2009 4:33:55 PM
it's definitely not gender related, women can do it quite a bit as well, although my personal experience is if I reply with a longer email, they probably write more then they are used to. If I reply with 1 line, they reply with 1 line...etc.

Overall communication is mostly easy and women love to talk, so I don't get that 1 word answer stuff very often. I usually break it off to MSN or in person meeting after about 5 emails though. I can see it going dry on emailing if you only converse through that for long periods of time.
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 25
Pulling teeth style of communications - is it age? - or gender? or is it just me?
Posted: 9/1/2009 4:39:22 PM
Simon, I'm looking for a partner.

But if the online search weren't enjoyable in and of itself, I'd stop it and focus more on other avenues.

And though I enjoy the corresponding, I do of course wish to have a reason to stop.

My point is just, if you don't enjoy the written process, hey, use another one. Or consider ways to alter your approach that will make it more enjoyable. Such as - to get back to topic - refraining from exchanging forced e-mails with people who clearly don't do written communication well!


Editing to add:

I usually break it off to MSN or in person meeting after about 5 emails though.

I agree that around 5 is plenty. My preference is to move to phone, primarily in order to schedule an in-person meeting, but, no real difference there - these things are all next steps.
 SwampDonkey09
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 26
Pulling teeth style of communications - is it age? - or gender? or is it just me?
Posted: 9/1/2009 4:55:06 PM
Could be concern over your lack of pics. I know I wont talk to some one who wont show themselves.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  >