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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > people in small towns...how do you find dates?      Home login  
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 red_relaxed
Joined: 7/18/2007
Msg: 4
people in small towns...how do you find dates?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I feel your pain. Many of the wonderful men I meet live thousands of miles away. So 40 minutes is nothing if you meet the right person.
Be patient.
Spend some time investigating the youth in your area. Sports, clubs, organizations???
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 5
people in small towns...how do you find dates?
Posted: 9/3/2009 11:23:56 AM
I ventured outside of city limits and found big Texas sized men. I am glad too because seems the kids my son's age(17) are small. They look like grammar school.
 justwant2no
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 6
people in small towns...how do you find dates?
Posted: 9/3/2009 11:46:27 AM
Here's a thought - offer to do all the traveling. If it's no big deal to you, say so. Maybe set your town to be the nearest city - but be clear that you live NEAR said city. I live in a hick town nobody would have ever heard of, but I'm 20 minutes outside a major metropolitan city - I don't see a problem saying I'm from there - hell, some of my relatives still insist I live 'in the city' because they are from an even more hickville than I am!
 turbowhistle86
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 7
people in small towns...how do you find dates?
Posted: 9/3/2009 1:51:13 PM
valid points guys.....its just frustrating that you find someone attractive, shares your interests, etc....and they tell you that 20 or 30 miles is too far for them to make things work. If you're not willing to invest 20 minutes of driving, how hard are you going to work once you're actually IN a relationship?
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 8
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people in small towns...how do you find dates?
Posted: 9/3/2009 2:55:56 PM
I know what your going through op. I live in the country. Would like to at least find someone in my county, or the next county over. I cannot relocate, cause I have a child in the local school system.
Most of my choices, close by, are guys who forgot about hygiene, shaving, bathing, or that whole "putting the best foot forward" or "making a good first impression" thing.
Weed them out, then you have the "Looking for sex" guys, the users, players, and Drama Guys. Or the ones you find out are actually still married. Then the guys who drink WAY too much, or like a bit of pot. Some how in the mix, we are supposed to find someone, we actually like, have something in common with, and can see an attraction. VERY few and far between. I am PENDING.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 9
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people in small towns...how do you find dates?
Posted: 9/3/2009 6:37:09 PM

and they tell you that 20 or 30 miles is too far for them to make things work. If you're not willing to invest 20 minutes of driving, how hard are you going to work once you're actually IN a relationship?

Which is exactly why you should see this as a blessing, you aren't wasting time on people you aren't suited to.
 sinlov
Joined: 2/25/2008
Msg: 10
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people in small towns...how do you find dates?
Posted: 9/3/2009 6:39:42 PM
Well I too know what you mean there, I too moved to a small town not to commute so far everyday and get the kids away from the inter city racket. 80 + miles to the city where at least there is something going on. ie not only does the town close up at 0900 pm, you are really an outsider, if you have not lived here forever. I turned to this and other avenues. Oh yes I have learned there are other singles in the area, The cross dressers, the players, and the intimate encounters are all with driving range. Wait; don't even think I would have to drive, if that s what I wanted. LOL I was not thinking heavily about being single and alone, after all I never had any problems before. But meeting someone your type who you actually click with, is a major challenge in a small town. Meeting someone whom you will drive to see, but they can never come as far??? Just is not on my list of sensibilty.
While I never had a problem driving, it is dishearting to speak or see someone you might like who considers 80 miles to much or even (40) not within range. I would at least go that far to see if there was a connection and go from there.

Ohh didn't mention the red neck factor, just thought I would blend in, NOT
 Blakkardaberry
Joined: 2/7/2009
Msg: 11
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people in small towns...how do you find dates?
Posted: 9/3/2009 7:10:21 PM
Simple really. If your successful get a small flat in town for weekends go there so they don't think your so far away. NEXT.
 Looking For......
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 12
people in small towns...how do you find dates?
Posted: 9/3/2009 7:26:53 PM
Like mentioned earlier, its not the size of the place sometimes but just being in the right place at the right time, eg; hanging out somewhere where people occupy and are of course most of all are APPROACHABLE. Also to be considered is its likely that people in populated areas tend to keep to themselves more and you of course have alot more competition to compete with so standing out in a "good way" can be more difficult.

I know this from experience.
 cowtrucker
Joined: 5/20/2007
Msg: 13
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people in small towns...how do you find dates?
Posted: 9/4/2009 11:16:23 AM
2500? I thought you said Small!!! I'm out in the Rural Area, and the closest town to me has 541 people!!! Thats plenty in my book. I think us small-town'ers find dates and options via the internet, friends, family, co-workers, and enterprise.

What's a 30 minute drive to someone's house, if they live in town and you need groceries anyway? Heck, at 26 you've got plenty of time!!!

CowTrucker
Chapman, Kansas
 unsolvedmystery
Joined: 8/18/2009
Msg: 14
people in small towns...how do you find dates?
Posted: 9/4/2009 12:52:29 PM
no idea how to find more dates but I just wanted to chime in on the 'slightly out of the city' locations..they are further then they first appear. maybe 45 mins of highway driving seems like nothing at first, but if you get into a relationship and you're doing all the driving and forking out all that gas money...it adds up very very quickly in time and effort.

I dated someone for 1.5 years and basically did all the driving and it really ended up putting a damper on things. For it to work well you have to find someone that doesnt mind a 50/50 on the driving front. Don't just assume you'll be ok doing all the driving...trust me it'll get old.
 OsirisX
Joined: 5/25/2008
Msg: 15
people in small towns...how do you find dates?
Posted: 9/4/2009 1:02:15 PM
My experience has been opposite.

I grew up in a town the same size (2500 people) and had a fairly easy time meeting girls since everybody seemed to know each other, and word of mouth about events, people, etc travelled very quickly.

Fast forward a decade and I live in a metro area of 3+ million people, and can't find a date to save my life. This website hasn't been any different. I'm a good looking, intelligent, successful, caring guy but get no messages on here.

Perhaps your small town isn't the problem at all, but rather the first convenient explanation for your current situation? Just a thought. Either way, good luck! We all deserve love...
 Happily Ever...maybe
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 16
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people in small towns...how do you find dates?
Posted: 9/5/2009 1:31:48 PM
I lived for almost a year in a little town in the middle of nowhere Minnesota (pop 1400). What I used to do was spend one or two weekends a month in St Cloud or even Minneapolis, which were each about a 90 min drive. Actually, that was when I first discovered POF. I'd communicate with someone online and then go meet them over a weekend I was there. If it wasn't a good fit for whatever reason I'd still spend the weekend in the city enjoying myself, eating at nice restaurants etc. I never really got to a point with anyone where it was a long term thing, but I'm sure I would have figured it out.

So my advice OP would be to try and meet women in towns with bigger populations, and if/when you get to something serious, perhaps if you can't move, maybe she will.
 casperella
Joined: 10/30/2006
Msg: 17
people in small towns...how do you find dates?
Posted: 9/5/2009 3:50:50 PM
I live in a small town too in the mountains. There are men here but they are married, too old or too young... so I understand what your going through. But it seems to me the older I get the harder it is to find a man thats single, close to my age, and not a fruit cake.
 ketch
Joined: 8/24/2006
Msg: 18
people in small towns...how do you find dates?
Posted: 9/5/2009 3:54:25 PM
I knew a fellow who love North Ontario. He loved the weather, the life, and was making a good living. He left all that to move to Toronto.

I asked him why.

He said that he wanted to get married.

You are not alone with the problem.

I lived for three years in a small town about 45 minutes from toronto. I never dated anyone in the the town. I dated people in toronto.

45 minutes isn't a long commute. However small town people, after highschool don't date in town. It's like those rules about not fishing off the company dock, and not sh*tting where you sleep.

Ketch
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 19
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people in small towns...how do you find dates?
Posted: 9/5/2009 8:11:09 PM

A-h-h-h-h-hhh...the old 'You're Too Far Away' syndrome...!!!
i moved from a town of under 2,500 earlier, this year...into a college town of 20,000...No real difference...Women are Snooty...wherever they live...
..wouldn't know a 'Gentleman' if one ~Held a door open for her!! ~

Sorry to hijack the thread a bit but how many have we seen about whether someone's forum postings allude to a different persona than the profile? Perhaps this response was tongue in cheek but if your attitude is cynical and perhaps somewhat bitter or jaded, the open doors aren't impressing not because women don't appreciate it but because you are projecting what this post suggests.
 TooShadows
Joined: 9/26/2008
Msg: 20
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people in small towns...how do you find dates?
Posted: 9/6/2009 7:23:33 AM
I always figured you had to look in the next town over,but I guess you've tried that. I live in a rural area;the two closest villages have less than 600 people between the two of them. Our capital city though is about 30 miles away,and that's where I did most of my dating. It was hard to find someone who had a car of their own and was interested in living in the country,but it finally happened. Just keep looking.
 majyk1
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 21
people in small towns...how do you find dates?
Posted: 9/6/2009 8:55:38 PM
If your not willing sell your house and/or move to a different town for the chance of getting a date, then the first thing you have to do is quit complaining!! There are always options. You just choose not to use those options.


{"I'm trying to understand why people think that because you don't live across the street from them, they can't try to date you. I think people just get so lazy that if they can't date someone that requires little or no effort on their part, then why even try."}

Well you got that one right!! Couldnt agree more.

I've seen on other sights where people say they wont travel more then 10, 15 or 20 miles to date. That to me is just crazy! One can never know where they might meet their perfect (well almost) match.
 OnMyOwnAgain123
Joined: 7/9/2009
Msg: 22
people in small towns...how do you find dates?
Posted: 9/6/2009 11:03:33 PM
did you miss the whole "I like my house, I like my neighbors, etc?"


bwahahahah that was awesome.
Don't really know what to tell ya. I don't get why people get so fuzzled over driving. Let's hope they never get to the point in their future relationships where driving seems like the easy thing...yeesh.
 jojoaus
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 23
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people in small towns...how do you find dates?
Posted: 9/7/2009 4:11:51 AM
I live in a big small-town... 32,000. But I found a fish an hour up the road... I drove there every weekend because it worked for us. He is currently a 3 hr flight from me and in a different country but guess what?? It still works cause we WANT it to. I think dating in your closest city is your best bet OP... and yeah be prepared to drive. It wont kill you, but may accelerate the depreciation on your car
Its worth it.
 2fuzy
Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 24
people in small towns...how do you find dates?
Posted: 9/7/2009 8:24:50 AM
OP if it makes you feel any better the closest town to me POP: 1 and his name is pete
 BM47
Joined: 4/7/2009
Msg: 25
people in small towns...how do you find dates?
Posted: 9/7/2009 12:36:26 PM
My man I am right with you on this one. I love where I live and its a 2 hour each way drive (4 hour round trip) to meet anyone. For some reason the words (meet me half way) don't jive on a first date. To suck it up and make the date happen , means a l commitment of money and time which may not pay off. % or ^ of these a month and you'll need a second job to pay for a hotel, dinners, and fuel. I know this is part of the"courtship" process but give me a break. Its not easy to date locally either, people in small towns talk, one bad dating experience and your done for 5 counties. It takes patience , I beleiev and time to really get to know someone before moving into the face to face meeting stages. Just keep at it , when you elast expect it you find what you are looking for!javascript:smilie('')
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 26
people in small towns...how do you find dates?
Posted: 9/20/2009 4:03:29 AM
"I live in Dublin (almost 2 million people) and I cant get a date so I dont think it matters where you live!"
-----------
You can feel lonely in a room with a 100 people in it.
 *buzz*
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 28
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people in small towns...how do you find dates?
Posted: 9/30/2009 9:58:16 AM
Now, that's my scenario but I don't despair.

When meeting someone means to happen it will happen as life doesn't always revolve around small community. One has to venture outside usual quarters from time to time (beach, cinema, swimming pool), businness travel gets one meeting people, believe or not - shopping centre is a place to meet people - and occasionally I pop in my local pub for a pint of Guinness (iron deficiency ).
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