Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > At what age do you Just Give Up?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Earthpuppy
Joined: 2/9/2008
Msg: 276
view profile
History
At what age do you Just Give Up?Page 12 of 38    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38)
Manboobz had a really important post today on how to survive this conundrum of wanting sex, but hating women.
http://www.manboobz.com/
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 277
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 4/6/2011 7:01:42 PM
holy manhood earthpuppy- that article and that sight is horrible.
Just a tad misogynystic??
 Earthpuppy
Joined: 2/9/2008
Msg: 278
view profile
History
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 4/6/2011 7:16:02 PM
sowrite...Please look deeper into the site, Manboobz. It is a satire site response to MGTOW/Happy Bachelors misogyny groups. It is a refreshing answer to those hate groups, highly recommended by a female friend who is studying, in depth, one of those most involved in the misogyn movement.

Meanwhile, When Harry met Sally, met TrueBlood.
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/0247468f28/when-harry-met-sally-2-with-billy-crystal-helen-mirren?rel=player
 Casper66
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 279
view profile
History
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 4/6/2011 11:11:21 PM
Well since I never wanted children thats not a problem but would still like to find that special someone, so no I don't give up but I don't make it my only focus either. As I've gotten older I've learned to appreciate "me" time, which includes reading, listening to music, going to local events, going out with friends, trying new hobbies, taking some interest courses at the local college, doing some travelling etc.. which keeps me very busy. Most people have had bad experiences in their lives, it happens, you have to do what is best for you and not dwell in the past or let negativity consume you.
 Spank_Me_Honey
Joined: 4/3/2011
Msg: 280
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 4/8/2011 1:19:16 PM

Why is a happy bachelor, aka happy guy who is single, such a bad thing Earthpuppy? And also I see that those who think giving up is being negative, I wonder is it because dating has been good for you and so it should be fun and good for everyone? I never knew we were clones and were suppose to do what everyone else does. Someone gives up and people are all over them, saying they shouldn't and yet those same people have no idea what experiences someone goes through. Gimme a break!



Will say that these are also my views and opinions
 Earthpuppy
Joined: 2/9/2008
Msg: 281
view profile
History
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 4/8/2011 2:28:16 PM
I was referring to the misogyny extremists within the HB and MGTOW groups. I have been a happy bachelor for many years in my life as well. The HB group in particular has be taken over by a predominance of seemingly unhappy bachelors who need to tear women down as much as possible to bring themselves up. Some of the rhetoric borders on incitement to violence. The study subject of my bud is one of those unhappy bachelors. He has had the need to lie and say extremely degrading and vicious things about 3 women I know and his co-workers, has fallen into the ranks with the most misogynistic, and is instilling these values into his teenage son.

These unhappy bachelors are turning those sites into hate groups where real violence against women is likely at the current downward spiral of language. It's more than fine to give up if you wish. Less competition in the dating world. But one does not need to blame all of womenkind for a couple of bad past experiences, or one's ineptitude at making lasting friendships with women.
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 282
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 4/8/2011 3:01:54 PM
^^^exactly. It's one thing to be a bachelor by choice and lead a happy life. It's yet another to be bachelor and start bashing women like some men do. Frankly, it only belies the fact that these men really don't want to be bachelors; but sadly their attitudes ensure they remain bachelors.

Constant negative comments about the opposite sex are far more telling about the basher than of the bashee.
 mrnova66
Joined: 11/28/2009
Msg: 283
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 4/8/2011 6:07:15 PM
I second that SPANK ME HONEY..I agree....
 DaclaudDotCom
Joined: 2/16/2011
Msg: 284
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 4/8/2011 10:54:16 PM
You give up when you want to give up (usually that means death). Otherwise you have no choice but to continue on!
 Want_You_2010
Joined: 8/31/2009
Msg: 285
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 4/9/2011 11:12:33 AM
What I have found is, men bash women and they are ridiculed by women for doing so, and alot of men will be all over the guy for it BECAUSE they themselves do not want to be viewed in the same light as the guy doing the bashing. BUT ever notice how when women bash men it is accepted? No you say? Look at the comments towards those women by men. And most times men will back down. Because we have become a society where women have so-called valid reasons for thier men bashing. Men have none.
Also bashing seems to get confused with personal views.
The wost is the guys who suck up to the women in the forums, taking thier side and bashing the men who are just stating thier views and experiences.
Do we not get out views from our own personal experiences? Or do we get our views from others experiences and your own have no effect on yourself?

Example: One man has awesome luck in dating. Goes on dates and women treat him.
Another guy has a tough time getting dates.
Another guy gets dates but has to always pay for them with no luck.

Three different experiences that will get three different views. So when one wants to give up, so be it. Is it realy the end of the world for someone to do that? Or is a guy supposed to foolow everyone else or he is not viewed as a real man?
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 286
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 4/9/2011 11:21:55 AM
I'm still not sure what anyone's giving up. As far as I'm concerned if you're in good health, have friends, a roof over your head and a way to put food on the table, life is good. The rest is a bonus. Anything you give up that's a bonus isn't really a loss.
 Spank_Me_Honey
Joined: 4/3/2011
Msg: 287
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 4/9/2011 3:34:00 PM

The wost is the guys who suck up to the women in the forums, taking thier side and bashing the men who are just stating thier views and experiences.


Internet white knight syndrome perhaps?

There is a plethora of psychology gobbledygook about this subject and not being an expert in the field of psychology my comments are but opinion not fact.

I consider those types of men to be beta males that are "going along to hopefully get some"

You know the type - doormats, lap dogs. the "guy friend" who is always hovering around in hope. You can see it in animals in nature.

Alpha Males lead - this at times can mean they go against the consensus - however they have no qualms about being viewed as some sort of outsider or ogre as possibly they have a view of not needing any ones validation to feel good about themselves ( maybe ).


Three different experiences that will get three different views. So when one wants to give up, so be it. Is it realy the end of the world for someone to do that? Or is a guy supposed to foolow everyone else or he is not viewed as a real man?


Good comment on the three different experiences

A real man doesn't care what others think of him - it is what he thinks of himself that matters.
 Earthpuppy
Joined: 2/9/2008
Msg: 288
view profile
History
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 4/9/2011 4:04:27 PM
Many think that real men can suck it up and take responsibilty for their contributions to relationship failures and move on without needing to tear down others to boost themselves up.

Real men might also be able to honor and respect women who are the mothers, sisters, aunts, friends, and not have to refer to their protectors as "door mats", "lap dogs" or in the HB vernacular, "manginas".

While narcissistic misogyists think of themselves only, real men might think that consideration for others might be a worthy value.

And most "white knights" are not hanging around to "get some", but merely friends who stand up to bullies because their parents raised em right.
 mrnova66
Joined: 11/28/2009
Msg: 289
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 4/9/2011 4:55:11 PM
Thanks Spank ME HONEY and HEY YOU!!!..These are 2 men that get it..You two are very wise with your words without the attacks..You two choose your words very wisely and mature..You have my respect...
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 290
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 4/18/2011 11:19:58 PM
change your perspective, it isnt giving up, it is opting out. and trust me, all of newly divorced friends are not so chiding about my earlier decisions now that they are on the wrong side of martyrdromony. (damnit trying to combine matrimony and martyrdom .....)
 Whatisnewwithyou
Joined: 1/25/2011
Msg: 291
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 4/19/2011 5:32:25 AM
"I'm still not sure what anyone's giving up. As far as I'm concerned if you're in good health, have friends, a roof over your head and a way to put food on the table, life is good. The rest is a bonus. Anything you give up that's a bonus isn't really a loss."

^^I agree with this. But on the same token I have always been a less is more type of person. You can't give up what you don't have and the less you have the less you have to lose.
 Want_You_2010
Joined: 8/31/2009
Msg: 292
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 4/19/2011 5:53:32 PM
Many people when they say they are giving up get alot of talk from friends etc because people are led to believe that there is someone out there for everyone. All the cliche sayings, some believe them, some don't. There is no right or wrong answer to giving up. But most people want to have what others have as well.
In all honesty how long does a guy put up with being rejected so much, spending so much money on dating when he finally says "i have had enough"
It depends on the person. It depends on one's experiences.
I have had enough of women expecting me to spend money on them all the time when we go out. But that is me, because I have done this far too long and spent way too much money. On the other hand, there are guys who say they always have women treating them. Again a different experience from two people.
Some guys let the rejections roll of thier backs. Doesn't mean every guy should and does. Or we all would be the same.
Giving up on dating is just putting something that frustrates you and gets in your way, to the side until further notice. As long as you have a funfilled life, who says you have to be out there in the dating world?
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 293
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 5/14/2011 12:38:53 AM
I hear the rapture starts on the 21 st; so about 7 days should be a good time to pencil in giving up ;)
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 294
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 5/30/2011 2:25:16 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^^ Double bonus points if you speak the language, know the culture, and have travelled in your life; not a necessity, but it definitely puts you ahead of the wave of guys that are LEAVING the US dating / marriage scene.
Happier Overseas !
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 295
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 5/30/2011 4:50:58 PM

These dating forums are full of guys at the end of thier rope.

REALLY???
A lot of the male "frequent forum flyers" are in relationships-or even married.
Oh sure, you get the ubiquitous "nice guys finish last", threads, Or the " I have no picture, a 3 line profile narrative, I'm unemployed and looking for intimate encounters,why won't these women answer my emails?" topics.

LOL, I've seen more than one forumite post that they participate in the forums because it's better than television, or like a bar without the smoke and noise-I'm not seeing all that many "at the end of their rope".
SANE people get to the "end of their rope" when their life is filled with REAL problems-not because they can't get a date with the snap of their fingers.
So, frankly, my dear, if a guy is "at the end of his rope" because he's not dating- he sounds a little bit TOO unbalanced for my taste-and if I consider a guy too unbalanced to be a good dating prospect, that is NOT a good sign.
Cindy O
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 296
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 5/30/2011 5:26:50 PM

SANE people get to the "end of their rope" when their life is filled with REAL problems-not because they can't get a date with the snap of their fingers.


Amen. As I've said many times, if only dating was the only "real" problem I had to deal with......

 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 297
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 5/30/2011 8:57:58 PM

Please dont make light of loneliness

It's not that anyone is "making light" of loneliness. Loneliness is a state of mind-it comes from within. There are untold numbers of people WITH partners who feel VERY lonely, and unpartnered people who do not feel lonely.
People get depressed and hopeless for a lot of reasons. Depression itself can be a medical condition that sometimes besets even people who don't seem to have any problems in their life. People with partners can suffer from depression and/or anxiety...having a partner doesn't always ameliorate stress or worry.
Having a partner is NOT a cure-all for every emotional/social problem that a person might have...I've often wondered if the unrealistic expectation that it WILL, isn't a significant factor in the rate of divorce in modern western culture countries.
Cindy O
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 298
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 5/30/2011 11:15:46 PM
Please dont make light of loneliness . It's just as real as any other of life's problems. People get depressed and hopeless going through life alone without a partner. Study after study show the negative health consequences of loneliness .


If someone is lonely because they don't have a romantic partner, they need to get out more or get help for their depression (if it is clinically depression). We are living in 2011, not 1920. I'm seeking help with the things I am having problems with.


Having a partner is NOT a cure-all for every emotional/social problem that a person might have...I've often wondered if the unrealistic expectation that it WILL, isn't a significant factor in the rate of divorce in modern western culture countries.


Yep, always seemed to be that men were far too eager for a LTR or marriage. Maybe not so much now, but many of these men didn't seem very self aware and were partnering up simply because the Joneses were.

I dated a man who was only happy when partnered up. He was so oversensitive and I sometimes felt like I was walking on eggshells around him. That's no way to live just to have a partner.

Some men need to learn THIS.

People been making light of my health issue for years. Not having a partner is the least worry on my list and were some people to have my health issue or another, they must might be able to put things in perspective. Just saying.
 Janet_Always
Joined: 12/7/2010
Msg: 299
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 6/9/2011 6:17:45 AM

Please dont make light of loneliness . It's just as real as any other of life's problems. People get depressed and hopeless going through life alone without a partner. Study after study show the negative health consequences of loneliness .

The problem with this is that if they do find someone, they completely smother and overwhelm this person -- who has become their only source of not being lonely.

To offset the negative consequences of loneliness, a support system of friends, hobbies and some passion for living outside of a significant other is needed.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 300
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 6/9/2011 7:32:54 AM

Please dont make light of loneliness . It's just as real as any other of life's problems.

That may be true, but the cure for lonliness is to fix you, not find a relationship. You can be with someone and still be lonely. You will choose partners more wisely if you aren't lonely and your relationships will be better. You shouldn't need another person to fill an emptiness.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > At what age do you Just Give Up?