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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > At what age do you Just Give Up?      Home login  
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 mommasgrl77
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 376
At what age do you Just Give Up?Page 16 of 38    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38)
You dont give up sweetie!! Make the choice on what you feel is best for you. I thought I had to be married at 26 and all children by 35. As I come up on my 35th birthday I realize what my life would have been had I started having children then. Im not married, no kids and I am a one man kinda girl, the right guy hasnt come along yet. when he does......well then I will think again about kids. It is all about you and what is right for you. remember that and you will be fine! (p.s. my friend just had a baby at 39 after she met my best friend not 18 months earlier. she has never been happier!)
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 377
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 7/23/2011 5:55:34 PM
Giving up ?!
Are we there yet ?

The census numbers are showing less and less marriage % at each iteration.
.... maybe for the next one they allow Gay Marriage to see if that will boost the numbers, kind of like the economic stimulus - lots of 'activity' ; little to no productivity.
 EMunchy2010
Joined: 8/23/2010
Msg: 378
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 7/23/2011 6:43:47 PM

When does the pickiness End, and you start thinking about really settling down with the Right Person or Do you Just Give Up?


NEVER GIVE UP!!! YOU GIVE UP THEN JUST DIE!

IM A MAN OF MY WOOOOOORD~!
 mrnova66
Joined: 11/28/2009
Msg: 379
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 7/24/2011 12:28:23 PM
@VALENCIACITYX...I agree.The numbers are very depressing..In 1971 the percentage of households that were married 79%.In 2011 it is 48%.We as a society are on the verge of total destruction.When people are married the crime rate,poverty rate,suicide rate,drug rate among kids are down.In fact in most cases a single mother raising kids the crime,welfare.drug use and suicide goes up.People can spend it all they want.But that is the facts.
 Earthpuppy
Joined: 2/9/2008
Msg: 380
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History
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 7/24/2011 2:09:42 PM

@VALENCIACITYX...I agree.The numbers are very depressing..In 1971 the percentage of households that were married 79%.In 2011 it is 48%.We as a society are on the verge of total destruction.When people are married the crime rate,poverty rate,suicide rate,drug rate among kids are down.In fact in most cases a single mother raising kids the crime,welfare.drug use and suicide goes up.People can spend it all they want.But that is the facts.


Where did you find those facts. Crime has dropped considerably since the heyday of people staying in marriages for the sake of being married, no matter the physical and emotional abuses, or lovelessness. Homicide and domestic violence rates have dropped as the rates of married people have declined.

http://www.familyfacts.org/charts/820/women-are-four-times-more-likely-to-experience-intimate-partner-violence
http://www.familyfacts.org/charts/830/violent-crime-has-declined
http://www.familyfacts.org/charts/833/the-rate-of-violent-crime-victimization-has-declined
http://pricetheory.uchicago.edu/levitt/Papers/LevittUnderstandingWhyCrime2004.pdf

Sounds like some people cling to an ideal that never was, and particularly never was for women in marriages in those "good old days". My mom was married to a total piece of crap in her second marriage. She finally got away from the abuse, went back to school, became personally and financially independent, and went on to find true love for the last 28 years of her life with a man she refused to marry, but with whom she shared a deep and abiding love to the end.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 381
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 7/24/2011 3:20:18 PM
go back to the DoJ and FBI stats.... and then look at how they CHANGED the recalculation of instances of crime in 1998 .... from reported, to charged.... and then again in 2004 how they changed charged to convicted.... its not that crime has gone down at all (quite the opposite if you actually talk to and know anyone in law enforcement, or have worked joint task force with law enforcement) it is that the REPORTING for it has been changed and skewed. Your next indication of crime stats is that they will weed out and sort out crime as perpertrated by ethnic minorities as it is now 'racist' profiling.... again look at how LOW crime is... pity reality doesnt support it .
and gotta love how Assualt II is no longer 'violent' .... I am sure the recipient of it doesnt agree.
 Want_You_2010
Joined: 8/31/2009
Msg: 382
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 7/30/2011 10:43:26 AM
Seems that dating in this time and day gets alot harder for men over 40 than women over 40. Seriously. I know some women will jump all over me here about this, but really. Now that we are in an era where the tables have turned and women hold the power in dating. Women can date men half thier age and not be bashed by so many people for it. Men it seems when we get into our 40's are not as desired by women.
Women are told that it is acceptable to act, look and feel younger. But for men, that is called being immature.
You have alot of couples now where the guy is alot younger than the woman. And alot more single men in thier 40's and up.
Also add in that we are labelled dirty old men if we date much younger women. SO I would say if men are over 40, have no luck in dating. There really is nothing wrong with throwing in the towel.
It gives women less guys to bash and reject too....
 friendlyarcher5
Joined: 4/22/2011
Msg: 383
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 8/3/2011 7:14:29 PM
I am nearly 45, and I have not given up in finding a good long term relationship. However, I have noticed that as I get older, I don't go out of my way to talk to women anymore. I have a far more care free attitude toward it, as I will go up and talk to a gal if I am in the mood for it.

So many people claim that it is harder to meet people when they get older. I think that is rubbish. In fact, I have found it is actually easier to meet people if you are willing to go up and talk to them. Most people are more confident and know what they want when they get older, and it really shows up in casual conversation. This makes people more approachable.

That said, I do think it is harder to make that special connection with someone now. I think it is easier to make a connection when you are younger because younger people have had less life experience to shape their world view. I believe that a common world view is what makes relationships ultimately work, and this is much harder to find when you get older.

Even so, giving up just makes being alone a self fulfilling prophecy. If I am doomed to be unattached for the rest of my life, at least no one will be able to say that I didn't have an excellent run.

Besides , I am the only one who can make me happy.....
 redfox21
Joined: 6/14/2010
Msg: 384
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 8/4/2011 10:34:21 PM
Mine isn't so much care free as much as it is acceptance. I understand that A. I come across different than guys my age and B. I'm not as attractive. So I just decided why not better to take myself out than go through the heartache associated with being rejected.
 ShouldBee
Joined: 7/24/2011
Msg: 385
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 8/6/2011 8:41:47 AM
Im finishing my family single at age 5O , my Ex remarried and has started a new family. well 3rd marriage for him. at 52 his youngest is 4. he enjoys it. Im thrilled to be my age and single. having the children grown. but i give kudos to anyone wanting it later in life. it works! ! ! dont settle. :j
 happybunny8
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 386
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 8/6/2011 10:31:02 AM
1. Too busy

We no longer sit around like in your mom's day. We like to do sh*t and not just sit around. When I don't want to go out, I don't and I sit at home watching a movie. I go out to be with people I like doing stuff I like. I don't go out to be popular. I've never been "popular" and I like it that way.

2. Not single and the curse of Matt and Josh

Very indicative of the type of women you go for. It takes me some time to heal after a breakup. I don't "need" to be in a relationship to define myself. The people who jump from relationship to relationship are often those types of people and that's not me.

As for the curse, you are bringing up the nice guy thread. Haven't you learned anything yet? Just like you, women like attractive people too. You just assume all attractive guys are flawed.

Your post is very indicative of the type of women you seek. I've never had a relationship with a bad guy. They've all been good men so I don't know who the hell Matt or Josh are. Maybe you should stop going after the female equivalent.
 magicallaroundme
Joined: 3/9/2011
Msg: 387
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 8/7/2011 11:45:00 AM
As I am to be married in a matter of weeks, YES, I am giving up dating forever.

I quit, am throwing in the towel, checking out.

Go ahead. Call me angry and bitter if you like.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 388
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 8/7/2011 3:54:37 PM

Never give up, life really is random. If you stop looking you've had it.

On the contrary - I think so long as you're social, generally happy and open to love and connections, you can pretty much stop looking. Looking for love is like looking for anything that's elusive and involves more than one person. You tend to end up trying to force the very thing that should come naturally.

Some people think wanting to find someone means carrying a large net and a tranquilizer dart or in this case a vibe that says "I'm on the hunt, perpetually". It kinda makes people want to avoid you.

If you were planning on taking someone to the place of their dreams to give them everything they ever wanted, but in order to get them there you wanted to throw them in your trunk tied up and gagged, do you think they'd be OK with the destination?
 WildAndFree3
Joined: 6/24/2011
Msg: 389
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 8/8/2011 7:14:35 AM
There is no age that you just give up, that is dependent on the individual. When I used to do home care I knew a couple who had fallen in love and got married at the ripe ages of 89 and 90!
 howrya2day
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 390
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 8/8/2011 9:58:35 AM
haha give up when your dead thats when
 redfox21
Joined: 6/14/2010
Msg: 391
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 8/8/2011 10:34:25 PM
For me personally, yes it is my physical characteristics. That probably ends up making me "just a friend" despite any kind of "nice guy" vibe or availability.

Basically...I get the moms saying to their daughters, "Oh my...he's so hot!!" and I get the daughters who are my age saying, "I guess....maybe he's...kinda cute..."

Eventually rejection hurts so bad you don't want to experience it anymore.
 11coolsexynice
Joined: 8/5/2011
Msg: 392
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 8/9/2011 6:31:44 PM
I am 40 and have not given up. I think it could be the type of women your going after. Every guy and gal are different. Just stop trying so hard to impress yourself and the people your trying to attract to. Just be yourself and act your age and I think eventually you will find her when you do not expect it. Thru my 30s, I had to find out the hard way that if I tried too hard and was not myself, I hated life as time went by. I was too focused on trying to find the right one. Also it could be the area your living in and the kind of women your going after. I found that a particular group of women will be attracted to you and other kinds of women, no matter what you are and who you are, you could be the president of the US and those women would say thanks but no thanks. Don't beat up yourself too hard, your life is just beginning. Just do what you think is right for you and not other people.
 11coolsexynice
Joined: 8/5/2011
Msg: 393
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 8/9/2011 6:38:20 PM
Hey Guyd42, I know things have not worked out completely in your favor, but cut this guy some slack. Not all relationships go that way. No way am I going to have a vasectomy. When it happens it happens, were not meant to be on here forever, and my feeling is that you get a certain amount of years to do whatever you want, as much as it sounds contradicting and that is it. I worked in nursing homes, and it opened my eye to enjoy life everyday of my life. I know for me she is out there at age 40. Its how you go about your age. For me 40s, is a great time for anybody to rethink their life. i think we all gotten caught up with materialism in this country and status, which is why were in the mess were in. I just hope your happy with your decision, because unless I need an operation, no doctor is touching my private parts unless its necessary sorry. To me Children should be a gift of god, considered the next generation for the family, not a hinderance. I am glad in some ways that attitude is changing about children. Life can hand a cruel hand to anybody, its how we deal with it that counts. If your happy with ur life, than two beers to you, but I find my life only beginning at age 40, so we should all help give OP some good guidance not tell him to give up. I know your intents were there.
 11coolsexynice
Joined: 8/5/2011
Msg: 394
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 8/9/2011 6:41:14 PM
Exactly!!! Kudos, at least I find one here that sees where I am coming from and I am half way there. Good one WildAndFree3.
 redfox21
Joined: 6/14/2010
Msg: 395
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 8/17/2011 11:18:23 AM
That is a turn-off to men who want to find a single girl to start a family with by our 30s
 harkkam
Joined: 10/30/2011
Msg: 396
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 11/13/2011 8:13:33 PM
These are really good posts and just goes to show the problems with our society. I am 25 years old and I have thought many times about giving up.

I also realized that there might be a good woman for me out there, I've been in three relationships so far and they all lasted about 2 years.

But besides that I am noticing as a guy a general trend that it isn't worth on an AVERAGE to date women with western values.

My parents come from the East and I can tell you there is a stark difference between the west and east when it comes to relationships. Sure there are quite a few problems with the Eastern model.

But what is happening now is really interesting, my family knows lots of women who grew up with the right values and won't cheat or divorce.

On a side note just sign a pre-nup, it just makes sense, love fades when a women feels like she is no longer in "love" and the grass is greener syndrome settles in.

Anyway, my parents are going to introduce me to women and set up dates and depending on how we like each other, and date each other for a couple of months we can decide to take it further.

Now I'm 25 like I mentioned, I was raised in New York and still live there. I've always felt like that if I couldn't find a woman for myself that I somehow failed myself. But the more I see things around me that people get divorced so easily and families get destroyed why even bother.

So in that way my parents are going to introduce me to women of my culture here and from the country they are from and I'm telling you its a WHOLE other world.

Growing up I used to think that it was old fashioned but getting older I realized that look at what has happened that people can't even find love and get married. Which is why birth rates are falling so fast in western nations.

Maybe its time the whole institution of relationships in the west be reevaluated. Not saying that its all rosy in the East either.

Im also not referring to going to different countries and meeting women who want you for the majority of time for your money.

I think that when parents introduce you to mates and they are involved in your life it creates a much stronger support structure to build a good relationship from.

I know that if I do find a woman that due to the high failure rate and the risk of investing so much into what could turn out to bite me and destroy me, I am not going to be picky on looks as I am more concerned with the persons personality and strength of character.

My belief is that suppose you find a fairly attractive person that gives you satisfaction and happiness but she ends up cheating on you which seems to be the case more and more now. Then that hotness she brought to the table has turned around and bitten you in the back side.

So I say to the men, pick wisely and be very picky, most women these days are not marriage quality thats just my opinion.
 cesska
Joined: 11/7/2011
Msg: 397
view profile
History
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 11/13/2011 8:34:13 PM
AT 12 i knew i did not want children,

at 65 i relalized men r not 4 marriage
 flatbedredneck
Joined: 4/13/2011
Msg: 398
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 11/13/2011 9:02:50 PM
At the age of 36, I've come to accept that most, not all, women my age have kids. Some even have teens that are/will be graduating HS soon. Knowing that my own father adopted me, I myself am not apposed to doing the same. Yes, I like the notion of having my own son or daughter someday but we play the cards we are dealt. Give up? Never.. deal me another hand.


at 65 i realize men r not 4 marriage

tell that to my grandfather who set a family record of 8 wives!
 CapnRHHNY
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 399
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History
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 11/14/2011 2:11:34 AM
Speaking only for myself, I gave up searching and hoping to find the one person that I could settle down with and have the long term, committed, life time relationship with a while ago. I will still date from time to time, and enjoy the company of another, and I suppose the romantic in me still hopes that I may find her one day. Sour grapes? No. Am I to blame? Oh yeah. I was an idiot who didn't know himself in his youth and twenties. Hindsight is always 20/20. Today, I am too old to play the modern day dating games. I no longer wish to feel the angst or anxiety that comes from trying to determine if I am suitable, if she is the one, will she be available, did I do something wrong, is she seeing another while seeing me, and on and on and on. Dating and real relationships shouldn't be that difficult. We are the one's who make it so.
 mrnova66
Joined: 11/28/2009
Msg: 400
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 11/14/2011 3:40:58 PM
Very good post....Your post makes perfect sence...I guess after a person that has jump loops all in his 20s and nothing but dissappointment.When i turn 30 i knew it was a losing game..Then you have worthless POS (Jailbirds,drug addicts,dead beats)Then you have women flopping all over them..I mean...WHO NEEDS ALL THAT DRAMA??I know i don'T...I have my job and hobbies...I am better off...LIFE GOES ON!!!!!
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