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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > At what age do you Just Give Up?      Home login  
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 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 576
At what age do you Just Give Up?Page 24 of 38    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38)
dandan7979... I agree with what you had to say in your post. It has alot of truth in it.
For me it got to be that I enjoy my life so much and stay busy doing my own thing. That I just stoped asking anyone out. I can't even remember when was the last time I asked someone out IRL. The only few dates I had, I were asked out on a date. Most of the messeges I get from this site and other sites are from women that I'm just not intrested. I go on many meetup hikes and other activities but never asked any one out from there as well. It would feel wierd if we dated for short time and it didn't work out and now we see each other on meetup activites. I don't see my self as someone who is giving up but more in a way that I don't know if there is more of a benifit in being in a relationship. I know I should try harder to meet someone, Friends tell me I'm my own worst enemy in dating. Totaly clueless for the hints and clues for when woman is intrested in me. Unless they or someone else tells me. I also have a few rules for my self that I don't want to break about who I'm willing to date. Being single for a long time we also get used to it and I know its part of it as well. Being truly happy with my self and making many changes in my life in the last 4 years where each one of them was very positive. Can you possibly be, too happy ??? There just isn't as much to push me to work hard at meeting someone. Well except friends, Funny thing is that its women friends who push the hardest to get out there and meet someone. Saying that there just not enough guys out there to meet.
It's more in the way of, It would be very nice to meet someone and I would like to meet someone(I'm here right),,,,
BUT......
 tedaus1
Joined: 8/12/2012
Msg: 577
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 11/3/2012 12:27:36 AM
Hi Giantrican and fellow POF members, this subject is all too true these days with women (and some men) choosing not to have children or wanting to wait until it suits them better to do so. Maybe this is a career thing or simply because we're not so much under the same pressure as our parents' generation was to have a family. It can also be because of, shock horror, infertility, as maybe the case with me. I am in my mid-40s and have now to face a childless future because I never had the opportunity to have them. I never married. I've spent the best part of 25 years looking for the right man and yes, I maybe fussy, but I want my first marriage to last, not be one in a line of (failed) r/ships. There is a possibility too, that I maybe infertile as I found out by accident quite a number of years ago. This came as a surprise but as I've never been in a r/ship, didn't really worry me. I agree with the fact that there can be a point at which one should "give up" trying to have children as the teenage children thing in one's 60s is very scary to say the least. I'm not in a position have children now, I'm not financially secure and don't even know where my future lies. I just hope that I don't die of a broken heart because I didn't have them, much as I think I would have liked to. It just wasn't meant to be.
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 578
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 11/5/2012 9:48:38 AM
I guess my question is do u. I jyst came to realization that bc I've been lied to on here and played with and treated bad I jyst had enough. Nothing good came out if being here at least for me. I feel worse about myself than I did before. Is it large amout on comoetion on here that no one is interested in msgs me or replying. Only msgs I'm getting r ones for hok ups. Anybody feels like u don't feel like comming here anymore. Like comming here is pointless?
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 579
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 11/5/2012 10:02:17 AM
I guess my question is do u. I jyst came to realization that bc I've been lied to on here and played with and treated bad I jyst had enough. Nothing good came out if being here at least for me. I feel worse about myself than I did before. Is it large amout on comoetion on here that no one is interested in msgs me or replying. Only msgs I'm getting r ones for hok ups. Anybody feels like u don't feel like comming here anymore. Like comming here is pointless?
 dandan7979
Joined: 9/29/2012
Msg: 580
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 11/5/2012 10:05:19 AM
Katarzyna, you might want to consider using a pay site for online dating. I used charm (I know, there are many criticisms of that site, many legitimate) but I found very few flaky people. Most there were indeed interested in meeting up and starting a relationship.

Another important thing is your attitude when online dating. I had absolutely zero expectations. I figured I would give it a shot. Worse thing that could happen is I wouldn't meet anyone (friends or SO) and my life would have been no different. I got lucky, and did meet someone, but I consider it just that -- luck (like most things in life, luck plays a huge role in meeting someone).

If I were you, I would keep at it. What do you have to lose?
 maker911
Joined: 11/16/2009
Msg: 581
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History
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 11/5/2012 12:39:11 PM
The guy's whining on here look like sea donkey's or look half ****in retarded. Here's a piece of advice, and it's not directed at you cause you're looking for friend's although you're in the same category as these guy's, hit a gym, buy some nice cloths, sprout a personality and you might find someone who want's to spend some time with you.
 daysleeper5
Joined: 11/6/2009
Msg: 582
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History
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 11/5/2012 2:06:55 PM
Like that famous line in Shawshank Redemption: "Either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'..."

Why should anyone give up on anything?

I'm going to steal a quote that a FB friend of mine shared on her newsfeed. It's from Michelangelo, or was attributed to him. "The greater danger for most of us is not that we will set our aim too high and miss, but rather we will set it too low and reach it."
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 583
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 11/6/2012 5:02:10 AM
No the new clothes makeup done hair we know it doesn't work. Well I know it very well pics I posted onu profile are professionally done every single one most of them r for wedding so I'm nice dressed in nice setting. So that goes ur theory on that it doesn't matter the site doesn't work well at least for me. And I agree we all just humans we dot. Look perfect every second of our lives. And not all can afford run all the time to the mall buying new clothes makeup getting thir hair n nails one every other week. If guy can like me for me I'm prop better off then. Def agree with person that posted above me
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 584
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 11/6/2012 5:23:03 AM

I've lost count of the number of times over the years I've been told that I'd have a better chance of finding someone if I did (insert list of items). Why should you do that though. If someone can't accept you warts and all, then is putting on a fake front really going to help?

Well it's a fake front if you only want to do things like this to attract dates, absolutely. Dates should be residual to your existing life, not a goal to try and hit.

If you do things for yourself because you want to improve something that's different. It's all in the mindset. I go to the gym, I got a degree, I got braces, etc because I want to be in shape and look a certain way and have something to market myself - however I could care less who else likes it. I don't do anything to gain acceptance from the general public. I do them to be able to live with myself. If someone else likes what I'm doing it's a bonus not a requirement.

So if you're happy with yourself and there's nothing you would change then you won't care who else likes you. If you expect someone to accept things about you that you don't even like - it's a formula that won't really pan out for you.
 wildlifelover79
Joined: 8/15/2012
Msg: 585
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 11/7/2012 10:57:51 AM
I gave up a long time ago! When don't believe me when I say I want a committed long-term relationship that is serious with regular sex? Just because I believe when two people have sex it is like a contract to me. Thus I always attached to a woman right after we are done with sex. I don't think that is wrong.
 dandan7979
Joined: 9/29/2012
Msg: 586
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 11/7/2012 11:33:33 AM
I still, for the life of me, can't understand this "giving up" mentality. Especially when people in their 20"s and 30"s state as much. To all those people "giving up," do you mean to say that if the partner of your dreams came into your life tomorrow, you wouldn't pursue a relationship? Because if you would, then you haven't given up. If you would not pursue the relationship, well, that is just sad and you deserve to be alone.

I think what people are saying is that they are giving up "going out of their way" to find someone. As I have said earlier, people shouldn't go out of their way to find someone. They should live their lives, do things they enjoy, and put themselves out there. The rest will take care of itself.

After perusing these forums for about a month, I must I say I have learned a lot about people. I am starting to think I am the most optimistic person in the world, in light of all the defeatist "woe is me" attitudes I see on here.
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 587
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 11/7/2012 5:08:44 PM
Bc all guys want is sex and then maybe they stick around maybe not. And I would not count on that first one. If he can't find u interesting enough before he won't find u interesting after. Yeh if u belive u need to sleep with women in order to be in relationship no wonder one one belives u so what do u want build reLtionship first and then have sex or just sex? Women r not car I can test drive before purchasing omg. Guy r such dogs
 ShyCountryBoy82
Joined: 10/4/2012
Msg: 588
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 11/7/2012 5:26:02 PM

Guy r such dogs


That I find offensive. I could quite easily say that women are such ****es, simply because of all the mind games that quite a few of them have played with me online.

Christ, I'm now almost 31. I really don't actually care that much that I'm an overage virgin. I care more about finding myself a proper relationship with somebody.

So no, not all guys "just want sex." All I seem to be for all intents and purposes is the one guy that can makes friends with women, the one that women **** to about all their guy problems. I've had enough.
 shandawade
Joined: 8/4/2012
Msg: 589
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 11/10/2012 9:03:33 AM
Maybe it's your area.....try looking outside your local area. All women can't be bad. Just like all men can't be bad. As for me I do live honesty and it doesn't scare me off at all it makes me feel closer to someone that they trusted me enough to share. As far as the truck goes.....well men just look like real men driving a truck. I hate when a tall guy drives a car! Keep looking.......there's someone out there yet :)
 a2miss
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 590
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History
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 11/15/2012 9:48:35 AM
Yeah, wow..Some bitter replies.

For men. If you desire to be married and have kids your choices are left open far longer then the are for women. But take into consideration if you want to go to your kids graduation when your 70.

If you just give up, you have lost already. Knowing who you are , what you want, and don't hold in hostilities from your past into your current( goes for both parties)

I've choosen to not have any more kids. I raised 3 alone, no help( unlike the bitter angry gent who makes it obvious why he still single) Ive never been married..but again that was MY personal choices. I did fine on my own, supported me and my kids fine alone, and paid for all my material possesion on my own. My kids are grown , have their own families or in college now. I'm just in a differnt place then say perhaps someone early 30s who might want, marriage and kids. Why, knowing who you are and what you want is important. You don't want to emotionally invest into a realationship that is not going in the sae directions you want.

I am also not one of those whom want to date 300 men either. I'd rather stay alone then do that. I'm choosey not because i fel I'm totally awesome and full of myself. i just don't have time or energy to waste on dad end realationships.

you have to be realistic...if you want a model gf in here 20s who will marry you, cook, clean, birth babies, and pat your ego...you have boxed yourself into unrealistic corners and have set yourself up to be forever, unhappy.
 nitro38
Joined: 11/10/2012
Msg: 591
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 11/15/2012 11:03:51 AM
I'm 38 and I don't give a damn about it !I'm not one of those peoples who rush into marriage and later thing what the hell I did .Just be positive keep your body in good shape and time will come when you find the person you really like.If you dont....welll that means someting wrong whit you
 wo12345
Joined: 9/12/2011
Msg: 592
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 11/15/2012 6:34:26 PM
at 30 :( eeek lol.
 wo12345
Joined: 9/12/2011
Msg: 593
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 11/15/2012 9:57:55 PM
I guess I'm F*cked lol.
 galaxymilky
Joined: 10/20/2012
Msg: 594
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 11/16/2012 3:34:10 PM
I am 31 and have never had a relationship before.I never think of giving up given that i haven't been seriously interested up until a few years ago.My views on lifespan are quite unorthodox but I believe quite fitting in a time of burgeoning technology.I don't think we should view age roles traditionally any longer. We are on the cusp of achieving "longevity escape velocity" meaning once you live long enough there will exist the teechnology to further extend your life up until this is indefinite.
 funnygingergirl
Joined: 8/13/2012
Msg: 595
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 11/16/2012 9:06:08 PM
Agreed. Real women "give up" on men that set unrealistic expectations.
 wildlifelover79
Joined: 8/15/2012
Msg: 596
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 11/18/2012 7:42:21 AM
I agree most women live in a fantasy world where guys have to be a doctor,lawyer, or some highly paid worker before they would marry them. Plus let's not forget they are just like men and want the guys with muscles and good looks. It is one of the main reasons why I don't date anymore. I am not going to workout in a gym or get a facelift to change my appearance. If a woman can't accept me for working in a supermarket then so be it.
 wildlifelover79
Joined: 8/15/2012
Msg: 597
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 11/18/2012 8:57:55 AM
Women just have to have those guys that are wild and break the law. The guys that have tattoos and piercings that go to bars and clubs all the time. While guys that don't do any of that are stuck with no women.
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 598
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 11/18/2012 11:58:21 AM

Btw: As for tattoos, some of the sweetest& polite guys I know (who are married) have them, so they don't make a bad boy. Just saying =)


Agreed. I’ve known lots of great guys with tats….including a doctor who rides a Norton. Don’t think he’s an ex-con, though. ;)


agree most women live in a fantasy world where guys have to be a doctor,lawyer, or some highly paid worker before they would marry them.


Um, it’s not exactly a ‘fantasy’ to date educated, successful men. I’ve dated doctors…worked with lawyers in many capacities over the years, and guess what? They’re no different than any other man. Didn’t you watch “Fight Club”? ;)

I don’t want a criminal, even if he is a doctor. ;)

However you’re right about the muscles. Who the heck WOULDN’T want a muscular, fit man??!! Pick up some weights…you too can have them.

Don’t allow yourself to be intimidated by men you perceive have it over you. They don’t.
Nobody is better…they’re just different.

Your perception is your reality. Why not do yourself a favor and change it?
 liftnw8z
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 599
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 11/18/2012 6:48:23 PM

Agreed. Real women "give up" on men that set unrealistic expectations.


I gotta comment on this post in particular, given a recent email I got through the site. I tend to be pretty specific about my preferences because I know what I want. But the email said "perhaps you're the one who's high maintenance with your specific preferences...". So, is it now that because I have preferences and am not willing to run out and meet/date just anyone who sends me an email that I am setting unrealistic expectations?

Mind you, when I read her profile: a big long series of "MUST" items that would discard an email if you didn't meet every single item, most of which are pretty "elitist" that only a fraction of men, if any, would meet. So she's slapping me with "unrealistic expectations and high maintenance" labels when she is doing the same exact thing, but that's ok for her?

The games people play, just to have a partner. Is it no wonder....?
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 600
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 11/19/2012 9:50:52 AM

No intimidation here..I call it like i see it in the real world.My dad work for the Departmant of corrections in N.C...The stories he told..OH!!Do not forget Scott Peterson(The baby killer).He only had 100,000 women write him the first week he was in prison..This is documented..And of course you have your life experences and i have mine....I have yet to see in my lifetime of 46 years see Mr.drama king(jailbird,drunk,bum,drug dealer,deadbeat) be single..As far as tats..Go for it!!!What ever float your boat..Here in FL. 90% of men have the same stupid tattoo on the back of there leg,But they are kool and different..What in the hell does being muscular have to do being good or bad...there are good and bad people of all sizes..Sorry i can not change my experiences..That is my reality..I can not change my past..What i see with my eyes is not lies..That is the way it is..And again..What you have experience and what i experience are two different things..


Yep, we’ve all experienced different things…..good and bad. It’s how people CHOOSE to REACT to life experiences that makes the real difference.

Sorry, I’m a bit skeptical of your claim that you’ve yet to see jailbirds, drunks, bums, drug dealers and deadbeats be single. How would you know these situations about anyone, let alone know their romantic relationship status? That’s ridiculous.

90% of the men in Florida have the same stupid tattoo? Hm. You got a link to this info, or have you actually seen every single man in Florida and tallied how many of them have this tat? And I’ll ask you what you asked me about men with muscles….what the hell does that have to do with being good or bad?

Msg. 916 mentions “…guys with muscles and good looks.”

I live about twenty minutes from one of the most infamous prisons in the US. I’ve dated a prison guard. Whoopty do. It’s no secret that some people are f ucked in the head….even some on PoF.

Do you really want to date prison groupies who go for convicted murderers like Scott Peterson, Kenny Bianchi, Richard Ramirez, etc.? It’s the NOTORIETY mentally and emotionally unstable women are attracted to. Do a little serious research, rather than make misinformed assumptions. Why would you want a disturbed woman like that? Something whacked out better than nothing?

Look…..nobody can change the past. YOU are in control of your future. What you tell yourself is your reality. That’s your perception. WHY deliberately choose to fill your head with negativity that only hurts you? I don’t get it.
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