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 Karl the Hermit
Joined: 3/31/2007
Msg: 51
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At what age do you Just Give Up?Page 3 of 38    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38)
Never!

I've spent the bulk of my 41 years completely alone, and I still refuse to give up. I've never been married or even engaged... I refuse to give up. I've only dated one woman for longer than 6 months (we lasted a year), and I still refuse to give up!

All I know is that I'm very funny, cute, smart and creative, and one of these days I'll find the right one and if not...

Well, someday when I'm on my death bed, I might think about giving up... but only because "dead" is a deal-breaker for most women...
 techgirl27
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 52
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 10/17/2009 9:33:16 PM
You know the old saying "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" well that doesnt work with me and a lot of women. Especially as we gain more self esteem as we get older.

This cow comes with extra benefits on purchase . I won't give up my body for someone who's not said to me they're ready to give up looking around.

Answer this one, do you REALLY want a relationship of any kind with a woman who will just say yes to anyone else who will? Didn't think so.
 Rarebird76
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 53
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 10/17/2009 10:47:32 PM

You know the old saying "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" well that doesnt work with me and a lot of women. Especially as we gain more self esteem as we get older. This cow comes with extra benefits on purchase . I won't give up my body for someone who's not said to me they're ready to give up looking around.
That's fine. But just know that there aren't a lot of men wanting to commit for life to a woman who has kids with another man. It's possible a man could come to fall in love with you eventually but if you put up the brick wall ultimatum of eternal devotion......well most men don't respond well to ultimatums/attempts to be controlled.


Answer this one, do you REALLY want a relationship of any kind with a woman who will just say yes to anyone else who will? Didn't think so.
You're misunderstanding. It's not about getting with ANYBODY you can find indiscriminately. It's just to accept a different type of relationship than what you may prefer.

You previously wrote:

I've just accepted that no one is going to be interested in me. Single mom, almost 40, grad student, blonde, churchgoer. That's just the reality, no one wants that. I dont make others' views of me, others do, and when it comes to personal relationships, it does matter especially first impressions. Besides the fact I hardly ever get any messages on here (despite several profile reviews), nothing Ive done to help myself at all has worked. Lost a ton of weight, improved my overall health and appearance, even streamlined my expenses so I can get out more, and nothing is helping.
So you even admit yourself you are not in the best circumstances yet you refuse to compromise........
 techgirl27
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 54
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 10/17/2009 11:16:30 PM
So I should compromise my self esteem and private intimacy just to get in bed with people that aren't going to commit to me anyway? I'm not prepared to spend the rest of my life being a toy for gigolos.

Maybe in your age bracket you aren't willing to accept women with kids, but as you get older you'll realize that it will become harder and harder to find women who don't already have kids. You're going to make it very hard on yourself if you aren't willing to compromise.

There are plenty of men who are willing to accept a woman for who they are, kids or not. Just looks like you aren't one of them.
 Rarebird76
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 55
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 10/17/2009 11:39:48 PM

So I should compromise my self esteem and private intimacy just to get in bed with people that aren't going to commit to me anyway? I'm not prepared to spend the rest of my life being a toy for gigolos.

Maybe in your age bracket you aren't willing to accept women with kids, but as you get older you'll realize that it will become harder and harder to find women who don't already have kids. You're going to make it very hard on yourself if you aren't willing to compromise.

There are plenty of men who are willing to accept a woman for who they are, kids or not. Just looks like you aren't one of them.
Who said anything about gigolos? I'm essentially talking about someone you are genuinely friends with. Somebody to do things with, hang out, keep company, go bowling, go to botanical gardens, whatever it is that you both would enjoy doing.......a companion. And on occasion "more".

Also you aren't making sense: You earlier stated essentially that no man would want someone in your situation and now you say " There are plenty of men who are willing to accept a woman for who they are, kids or not."

*scratches head*

You don't need to be defensive...I'm not trying to convert you or anything. Simply providing a different viewpoint. Obviously you don't agree with it and that's cool. Do what suits you best.
 rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 56
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 10/18/2009 7:09:43 AM

There are plenty of men who are willing to accept a woman for who they are, kids or not. Just looks like you aren't one of them

One thing that I do not understand, is why would anyone (man and woman), who already have kid(s) would need to date.
If you already have kid(s), you must first think of them, so there would not be time to date at all
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 57
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 10/18/2009 8:40:46 AM

Well when I was younger, I was told that if by the time that you turn 30 you have not found anyone, then you never will.

45 is the new 30.

Research has shown that for a man reaching forty never-married, no kids, etc., the odds drop rather precipitously from there until they're about zero by age 45. That's for getting married. (And, yes, there are cases of men marrying for the first time later, but they're quite rare.) Doesn't mean you can't still do other things. So forty-ish is a good age to start thinking of moving into other modes so that you're ready for them by 45-ish.

Or you could get a jump on the Christman rush and start in on this project at age 25 or 30.
 dolphinlvr36
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 58
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 10/18/2009 12:41:42 PM
"I haven’t heard to many success stories on this forum over the past few years."

First off, it's TOO, not TO many success...

Secondly, have you checked out the SUCCESS link? LOTS of success stories.
 Iamrealdeal09
Joined: 9/11/2009
Msg: 59
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 10/18/2009 2:07:57 PM
I think the way it is going for me, I will probably not have a family, I am nearing 34 years of age and nothing in sight. Usually the ones I do meet already have kids and do not want anymore, which is fine. My attitude is if I have kids, great, if I never do, great also.
 antiquedude
Joined: 8/25/2009
Msg: 60
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 10/18/2009 5:12:21 PM
You know it's funny, It's likely at the point when you completely give up that someone will come along.
 rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 61
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 10/19/2009 8:49:08 AM

Honestly, what a ridiculous thing to say. Does this belief of your apply to partnered parents too?

Yes, parent are just that parents once they have the kid(s). The kid(s) must come first and foremost
 rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 62
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 10/19/2009 9:52:12 AM
I did not choose not to have children, I simply can not have any.

I never said that there is no room for the relationship, I said that the kid(s) has to come first, and it is the job of both parent within their relationship.
 rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 63
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 10/19/2009 10:14:00 AM

Partnered parents go out on 'dates' with each other all the time. And they *should*. Single parents are no different

That i just not true, all of the parents that I know do not go out on date, since they do family thing which include the kid(s). So if the parents that are still together do have the time to "date", then how could a single parent since they must do a lot more for the kid(s) since there is only one at the time and not two
 rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 64
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 10/19/2009 11:21:53 AM
Well, we were three children, and we never ever had a babysitter because our parents wanted to go out, our dad was working most of the time and our mother stayed home to raise us.
None of us ever had a sleep over, my older sister died childless 15years ago, and the other one she has 3 children and she and her husband are still together and they never got a babysitter because they wanted to go out, when they go out it is the whole family, neither of them would even think of doing something like getting a babysitter because they wanted to go out to have fun.
Both my sister and her husband are very happy together (over 20years) and so are the kids

Trust me if you ever get the chance to put those views into practise

I could never have kid(s), I was sterilize when I was 16 for medical reasons
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 65
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 10/20/2009 12:58:52 AM
"Well the Ukraine girls really knock me out
They leave the west behind
And Moscow girls make me sing and shout
They Georgia's always on my my my my my my my my my mind

Oh, show me round your snow peaked
mountain way down south
Take me to you daddy's farm
Let me hear you balalaika's ringing out
Come and keep your comrade warm
I'm back in the USSR
Hey, You don't know how lucky you are, boy
Back in the USSR
Oh, let me tell you honey "

Fishing over seas. of course it helps if you speak the language. More are learning english, but if you really want to close escrow; its Russian that gets it done.

The Ukraine girls are hot, but I lean toward St Petersburg.
 JCBoston69
Joined: 10/18/2009
Msg: 66
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 10/21/2009 5:26:39 AM
GuyD,

There are still cultures in the world in which "marriage at will" is the order of the day. Just because the predominant belief in the United States is that if you're not happy with your husband, you can simply divorce him doesn't mean that there's no hope for happiness.

I suggest looking internationally.

-JC
 JCBoston69
Joined: 10/18/2009
Msg: 67
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 10/21/2009 5:45:23 AM

I am 29 and just gave up. I have realized I am not going to get the type of guy I want so id rather be alone then settle.


Yet here you are on a dating site. That's kind of ironic.
 2fun2bewith2
Joined: 7/23/2007
Msg: 68
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 10/21/2009 8:23:39 AM
Definitely give up after you reach the age of 40 and one half years for a man

43 and three quarters for a woman
 kathie79
Joined: 9/8/2009
Msg: 69
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 10/21/2009 2:06:47 PM
I think you need to stop obsessing about it, if your going out looking for the perfect woman your going to be disappointed...she does'nt exsist just like the perfect man does'nt! Just get out, have fun she will turn up!
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 70
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 10/24/2009 11:48:14 AM
Not a lady, but I'm 44, and, while I adore my new little 2-year-old nephew, he has his moodiness and temper-tantrums, and the thought of the pitter-patter of little feet pooping in their dities, crying and screaming, and consuming a good measure of my food and hard-earned cash does NOT sound appealing at this time. Maybe if I get into a more profitable business or hit the Lotto, by age 50, with at least $10 grand ahead in checking, I'll be ready for the craziness of starting my own new family. If I keep myself healthy and fit, I'll be the one to run the kid ragged, not the other way around.

I agree, ladies need to be realistic about starting a family past 40. A dog is cheaper and, if these ladies are stress junkies, just as hyper.

With any luck, in 10 more years, I'll be taking care of my aging parents anyway, who will be like children themselves. Then, after the stress of that, I'll be ready to kick off and depart this mortal coil myself.
 ScreamingBanshee
Joined: 10/20/2009
Msg: 71
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 10/24/2009 6:47:34 PM
This day and age, women are having careers and going after what they want because they know that no man is going to hand it to them. No one wants to bring a child into the world and end up raising the child alone.

Also, starting a family takes careful planning what with all the child support issues and the men literally crying to the judges about how the orders of support are leaving them in the street.
 InNCsearching
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 72
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 10/29/2009 5:30:58 PM
this is america...you don't give up. maybe you adjust your strategy but give up?...search the world instead of the back yard because there is this thing called the internet. i hate it when people give up like...well there's no one good around me...well they make cars, trains, buses, planes, passports....don't waste time with stupid women. search and wait for the right one but don't give up.
 ThatsNOTmybaby
Joined: 10/27/2008
Msg: 73
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 10/29/2009 6:03:49 PM
I GAVE up when these soo called ladies (some with kids) decided to "change" their "casual" ways and decided to stop "giving it up"

Why sooo many people are giving up and they are young too???? I know fellas that a lot of women are NOT like they used to be but geeezzz..... I know there is at ONE woman out there for u to be compatible with!! Until then...Live It Up and Drink It Up
 MSSODAMNGOOD
Joined: 4/8/2009
Msg: 74
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 11/9/2009 9:46:51 PM
Im 35 and i have been searching for a wonderful man for a few years. I am about ready to give up and just be by myself.
 BlueEyes1712
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 75
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 11/9/2009 10:02:18 PM

I am in my early 30s and I guess I have thought about this for a long time, what do you do when you are pushing 40 do you give up on starting a family? I know a lot of the ladies are having kids later on in life but serious I mean do you want to be in your 60s take care of a teenage child? When does the pickiness End, and you start thinking about really settling down with the Right Person or Do you Just Give Up? Your thoughts on this issue?



The issue is more for women still wishing to have children and a family. A women usually can safely concieve up to the age of around 36 after that various issues arise to be concerned. They have this internal biological clock. So a women at 36 or so would be looking for a guy at a age range who could be benifical to her children. Your right as you get past 40 its streaching it and a women even 36 would be looking for someone not much older than herself because as you say when they are graduation HS, the women would be 54 and the guy would be approaching 58. So thats sort of a cut off age, thats why women have these red flags that go off just an inappropriate age to be around and healthy for the benefit of her children.
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