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 CaptainDad
Joined: 7/25/2008
Msg: 76
At what age do you Just Give Up?Page 4 of 38    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38)
If I'm still single (and alive) at age 103 I'll give up... really, I promise, really.. no this time I mean it, really..
 CheekyGirlforU
Joined: 12/19/2009
Msg: 77
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 1/2/2010 11:05:39 AM
Never give up !
Always have hope and it will come to you.
positvie attracts positive !
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 78
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 1/2/2010 2:07:12 PM
Hope is the tribute reality pays to fantasy.

Giving up is not being negative, it's being realisitic. All creatures only expend so much energy and effort towards mating before taking the clue from an unfavorable environment that it's not in the cards at that time.

That way it's a pleasant surprise if something does come out of the blue.
 mrnova66
Joined: 11/28/2009
Msg: 79
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 1/2/2010 9:25:22 PM
I agree 100%^^^^^I gave up at 27...There is so many times a person can deal with rejection......But i am true to myself and nobody can take that away from me....And going by what i see in this screw up world i have not miss nothing...The only regrets i have is i had to deal with screw up women in my 2os...But never again....The more i read in these forums..The more happy i am single...
 Rarebird76
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 80
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 1/2/2010 10:20:45 PM
I've given up.


*messages this short may not be posted*
 mrnova66
Joined: 11/28/2009
Msg: 81
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 1/3/2010 7:19:02 AM
Oh so disagree^^^^^^I have known people that have had positive attitudes that have became so depress as a result of somebodyelses bullcrap......I have had a brother that was a happy go lucky fellow...You could not have met a more confident man..He had his crap together...Then he met a woman at 26 years old.Got married,Got screw around,,Then 3 years later commited suicide..Thanks to a screw up woman...Your point is MOOT...AND do not post and state...OH!!!..IT WAS HIS FAULT!!!!!YOU DO NOT HAVE A F>>>>IN CLUE..
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 82
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 1/3/2010 7:33:55 AM
PrimeMover: I don't think you're getting it, and are projecting way too much.

I have no feelings whatsoever of being "defeated".

In fact if anything I consider myself a victor, along the lines that HabsMike36 referred to -- I have no failed relationship(s) or ex(es) I agonize over, no years spent being miserable with the wrong person, no kids I don't get to see, no child support payments I resent, no grumbling over getting cleaned out by some harridan in an ugly divorce, etc. In other words, none of the drama or baggage one associates with defeat or huge loss.

Since I'm not the sort of knuckle-dragger who hits on women for dates (being a conscientous objector to sex roles) I don't even suffer from any rejection, or any feelings of being swindled because I've been made to pay for dates which didn't go anywhere, where the woman was just using me for a free dinner and/or drinks.

I simply don't participate unless clearly invited to. There are other, more satisfying things in life to do. Perhaps this is different from "giving up". Maybe the term "drop-out" would be better, but I'm not even real keen on it either. "Unscathed" would describe it rather well, but would confuse most people.

Whatever you call it, I'm totally okay with it. Thus I fit your positive/confident attitude description IRL, and not your negative one in the least -- not that I'd ever be so cheesy as to say "hi" to every person I cross paths with (that's how those who we used to call "retarded" often act).

But since you use the word "attracted/attractive" twice, and taking those literally (as in "pulling in"), I have to report it doesn't change women's passivity in this regard in the least. If anything, my observations of human behavior would suggest that the poor, moping, "lost puppy" attitude would be more effective in doing this, not that I've tried it since it's not for me.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 83
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 1/5/2010 9:45:41 AM
What y'all call giving up, I call opting out. I have NEVER wanted to get married or have kids. I see no point in either for myself. Twenty years in the military, and really the whiney snivelling poor me venacular of civilian life is obnoxious. There is no one out there that is responsible for your happiness, success, fortune; than yourself. If you are not happy alone.... chances are you wont be happy by adding another to the mix. It will just now be the grass is always greener yadda yadda.
If I could get back in the military for another 20 years at 41; I would sign up this after noon.
Opt out early and often. Take the $ you would spend on a marriage, and go travel.
 mrnova66
Joined: 11/28/2009
Msg: 84
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 1/5/2010 12:53:43 PM
OH! I whole heartly agree 100%..Marriage and even relationships are so overated...There is so much in life to do....And the ones that are in a marriage or relationship,Most of them are playing house..I work with a 26 year old man that think having a baby makes him a man...WRONG!!!!!!!!Raising a baby with morals make you a parent..No being a sperm donor...And most women will find the biggest loser to have kids by....So most of what i have seen in my life time..80% of relationships are living miserable lives...There are the stray few..Unlike the man i work with...He waits until his electric is turned off to pay his electric...Then complains he is broke because he has to take his whole paycheck to turn the elactric back on,But meanwhile back at the ranch he has 3 kids sitting in the cold...YEA!!!A real winner...Where do women find these winners?
 fastdogphotog
Joined: 5/27/2008
Msg: 85
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 1/6/2010 8:25:22 AM
To primemover: while the way you chose to phrase your view seems a bit saccharine to me, I very much agree with your general premise. The more comfortable, confident, happy and secure people are, the more other people want to be around them - especially members of the opposite sex. It's basic human nature.

But, I think you go a bit far when you say:

If you have given up, you will get exactly what you want. Which is nothing!


A friend I made on this site used to say the following:

Just because you give up on love
doesn't mean you have to give up on life.


While his view was laced with bitterness, I think he was on to something. Something almost Zen like that I believe is not all that dissimilar from what you are advocating. I think that for many people, if they can give up focusing on the "destination" of finding someone, and instead focus on enjoying the "journey" that is life, they might find themselves happier and thus more fun to be around. And that would have the likely effect of drawing other people to them. I adopted his view (without the bitterness, mind you), and have seen it work firsthand.

Now, as for the original question:

. . . what do you do when you are pushing 40 do you give up on starting a family? . . . do you want to be in your 60s take care of a teenage child? When does the pickiness End, and you start thinking about really settling down with the Right Person or Do you Just Give Up?


I feel there is much to be said for thinking long and hard about having a child later in life. But personally, I think there are a lot of different factors that go into it, such as the age, economic and social stability, and mental state of BOTH parents. I know some people in their 40s that would have a hard time handling a young child. But I also know some that would have no problem at all. So for me, whether or not to give up on starting a family is a question I really can't answer in the abstract - the answer is far too dependant on the totality of circumstances.
 lawgeek74
Joined: 3/7/2005
Msg: 86
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 1/6/2010 8:39:53 AM

I think you will find that Autism is not the result of an older mother and I have read that it is in fact more to do with the father's lineage- and immunisation triggering it.I am a parent of an Autistic son and 3 other children also. Whilst Autism is a challenge it is no more considered the horrific defect it once used to be. It is no more annoying than some personality traits of non-autistic individuals -who have no excuse but ignorance


This was recently shown to be not the case. They are back to blaming increased autism on older women. The study blaming older fathers was subject to statistical error. Sorry ladies.

http://virginiahughes.com/2009/10/08/mothers-age-big-factor-in-autism-risk/

"The prevailing wisdom, based on several high-profile studies, is the opposite: that men older than 40 have up to six times the risk of their younger counterparts of fathering a child with autism, whereas older women have little — if any — increase in that risk. The authors of the new report say that those conclusions are the result of a statistical fluke that exaggerates the real risk for older men."
 lawgeek74
Joined: 3/7/2005
Msg: 87
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 1/6/2010 11:50:17 AM
Gee, if you were a man, women would tell you to suck it up. Rejection comes with the territory.

Why not take your lumps like everybody else? It would be a lonely long life alone if that is truely want to want to choose.

Sorry Uniquesoul: I hate people spreading incorrect information.
 Rarebird76
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 88
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 1/6/2010 11:59:48 AM

I am 29 and have pretty much thrown in the towel. Sad to say but true. I find more enjoyment now in baseball season and reading then trying to date because I get rejected anyways so no use punishing myself anymore.


You're cute + you have a job so your chances are better than mine hun. Keep up the exercise+ eating right.
 upper_west_side
Joined: 4/17/2009
Msg: 89
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 1/6/2010 1:55:54 PM

I'm 35 and have pretty much given up on ever finding anyone. I've struggled with shyness and anxiety for my entire life which makes it extremely difficult for me to meet people. If that weren't bad enough, I'm also cursed with facial features that make me physically unattractive to most women. I've tried so hard over the years....forcing myself to go places where there are single women, forcing myself to talk to people...only to be rejected. I've spent at least eight years using online dating sites with no luck either, only heart break. Most reject me after I send them a few pictures, the rest just fizzle out before I ever have the chance to meet them. I've had my hopes up so many times thinking I finally met someone I have a real chance with, but I always end up hurt every time. It's hell living this way, I get severely depressed because I'm so lonely and I've thought many times about ending it because it hurts so much. It's especially difficult for me to even go anywhere besides work anymore because I always see couples everywhere and wish more than anything I could have that.

I don't hate myself, I think I'm an honest, good hearted, hard working man with a lot to offer...but nobody will give me that chance. I've never been on what I would even consider a real date, the only thing that came close was meeting a woman in the platonic section of craigslist. But even she rejected me after spending a few days hanging out. I've only been hugged three times in my entire life, all three times were with her. I've never held hands, cuddled, kissed, and I'm still a virgin. I'm literally starved for affection, I'd give anything to hold someone. I honestly don't see much hope when I've been this way for so long. I do believe love exists, but I think some people are never lucky enough to find it and I feel I belong to that group.


I can relate to everything in this post... in fact I could have written it. The only difference is that I've had a few girlfriends and slept with a number of others over the years... all off the internet, and very few of them who I either found attractive or had enough in common with to see something long term developing.

I know EXACTLY the sort of girl I'm looking for, and we're not talking about the top 5% here... I see them every day on the Tube, at work, when shopping, when travelling. I'd say 50% of women fall into this category. Yet I've never had the nerve to approach and start a conversation with a girl in real life, and thus I've only ever really gone out with girls who have contacted me online, and if I'm not feeling it, then that's not fair on them and not fair on me, ultimately.

As my clock ticks and ticks on, and I see my sister having children, and all my friends settling down, I'm find myself getting scared. Really scared. And depressed. Every year I say it has to change, but here we are again in 2010 and things are just dragging on as before.

I don't consider myself in the slightest bit attractive, but like the post I quoted I work hard, I'm honest and I have a good heart. But if I am destined to end up in that group of people who are never lucky enough to find "the one" (and it has to be "the one" - I refuse to just settle down with anyone because it's better than nothing) then I really wonder what the point of life is?

As to when I'll give up? 35.
 BeautyInU
Joined: 12/14/2009
Msg: 90
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 1/6/2010 2:20:34 PM

because I get rejected anyways so no use punishing myself anymore.


Rejection only means mismatch, nothing more. We shouldn't feel bad about ourselves because of rejection. Each person is beautiful/attractive in his/her own way, just like our fingerprints.

We also should stay away from people who are disrespectful . Anyone use insult to feel good about himself/herself is a true coward inside.
 BeautyInU
Joined: 12/14/2009
Msg: 91
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 1/6/2010 2:24:39 PM

I don't consider myself in the slightest bit attractive


Each person is beautiful/attractive in his/her own way, just like our fingerprints.
 mrnova66
Joined: 11/28/2009
Msg: 92
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 1/6/2010 4:22:24 PM
Let me quote one poster.."WOMEN LIKE HAPPY MEN"...RIIIIIIGHT...Whatever you think in your world......Let me ask you this...How many jerks that you have known in your lifetime that are single?...And when these so called men when they are single...How long do they stay single before a woman kisses the ground he walks on?.....I am 44 and i have never known a jerk/loser to be single...MR.loser has women waiting in line for him..In other words he has his pick....So if you really think woman like happy men...Then that is your life experence...Sure is not my experence....OH!!!I sure do not call a jerk/loser (drunk,drugy,no job,abuser,no life) a happy man....This is what majorty of women like......
 mrnova66
Joined: 11/28/2009
Msg: 93
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 1/7/2010 3:19:37 AM
WOW!!!!BAD BOYS = strong men...Nice guy =weak man......REALLY!!!!!You see this is why i do not date ....This is why society is falling apart before our eyes in this way of thinking....I am sure majorty of society thinks this way....Then people wonder why this world is so screw up....I have a news flash for you...A bad boy/jerk is not a happy stable guy....He is insecure....But have to agree with you on that one thing...Women do like these insecure creeps.....But he is not a HAPPY MAN.....And in return SHE IS NOT A HAPPY WOMAN...She deserves him...And as a result this is why majority of people are miserable that are in relationships....
 upper_west_side
Joined: 4/17/2009
Msg: 94
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 1/7/2010 4:07:03 AM
...and why us nice guys are miserable because we're not in relationships.
 mrnova66
Joined: 11/28/2009
Msg: 95
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 1/7/2010 12:39:59 PM
WRONG^^^^^^Not me..A rather be single and have my PRIDE..Than to deal with left overs after Mr.LOSER had his way with screw up women...I got better things to do than be a repair man...BEEN THERE DONE THAT...Then 3 months later she is back with MR.LOSER.....Mean While back at the ranch she wants to be friends...RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!!Never ever again...She deserve everthing she ask for.....There is a old saying...BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR...YOU MAY JUST GET IT!!!!!SO TRUE!!!!But my best saying is ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!!!!If a woman has been with losers all her life...Then i tend not to walk away but RUN!!!They scare me...The worse ones will claim they want a nice guy....RIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!You keep on thinking that way in your own little world....
 BeautyInU
Joined: 12/14/2009
Msg: 96
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 1/7/2010 2:22:47 PM

I will never be the rail thin girl that guys my age want. My bones just arent built that way


lovemysox27,

I hear this "THIN" addiction from so many women that I have to say sth.

Not long ago, "PLUMP/FULL-FIGURED" women were considered the most beautiful.
Consider the following:

1. Venus, the Roman goddess of love and beauty, check out how she look like at
http://www.abcgallery.com/R/rubens/rubens88.html.

2. Mona Lisa, the most famous and iconic painting in the world. She is not thin at all.
 bsp71
Joined: 11/18/2009
Msg: 97
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 1/7/2010 10:14:54 PM
I think its 50/50, of course us guys want to have sex but most of us want someone to love and as a partner as well in life.
You have been dating the wrong kinds of men. Best of luck. I stopped looking and feel much better now.
 mrnova66
Joined: 11/28/2009
Msg: 98
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 1/10/2010 3:09:34 PM
I agree 100%^ psychoholic
 SuperFunGuy
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 99
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 1/11/2010 12:05:42 AM
The next ice age maybe. No better when Dinosaurs roam the earth once again. Lol
 rat-7
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 100
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 1/11/2010 7:13:21 AM

Clearly, for whatever reason you are not attracting/meeting the right people.

How can you attract the right people when you can not attract anyone at all, when they see you they just turn away and runaway
Especially when one makes Frankenstein look like Miss Universe when compared to
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