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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > At what age do you Just Give Up?      Home login  
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 techgirl27
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 151
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I gave up when I couldn't come up with a good enough answer for "why is someone as good as you still single?" and those are the last words I ever hear from them.

There wasn't an age. But I have completely given up on finding anyone. No matter what I do to better myself or how much confidence I have, nothing makes any difference. Even dropping to a size 6 wasnt enough. But if they find me, then that's great. We can talk.
 mrnova66
Joined: 11/28/2009
Msg: 152
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 6/8/2010 4:01:06 PM
I gave up years ago when being Good/nice hearted does not cut it..You have to be some arrogant jerk..Sorry can not be that way..I have my pride..Got better things to do with my life to play Drama games...Besides most single people i know are a hell alot happier than these so called relationships...
 dj-mk
Joined: 10/4/2009
Msg: 153
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 6/29/2010 3:34:29 PM
This thread, plus many others on this forum is about enough to make me jump off the nearest building! I came here to read positive stuff and maybe get some inspiration for the future, yet all i see is negative wallowing!
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 154
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 7/6/2010 1:36:01 AM
when would you give it up....
There is always tomorrow. Well depending on your time zone, it might actually be TODAY; plan accordingly.
 Rarebird76
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 156
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 7/8/2010 12:13:41 AM

We must be the scum at the bottom of the barrel the way we are treated. Oh it is justified a million ways but lets stop kidding ourselves.
I'm the human equivalent to dryer lint.


Free your self and go back to the real world.
Real world is and can be better than online, though you have another host of problems IRL to deal with. Me personally I just don't CARE anymore which may be the same or similar to 'giving up'. I'm detached and indifferent. Whether I ever have another relationship/companion ever again is no longer incentive enough for me to actively try to get anymore. Solitary confinement of the soul done for long enough and you WILL become accustomed to it.
 harmonyharvest
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 157
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 7/15/2010 3:53:50 PM
Follow your gut instincts and go after what you want.....yes, I sure do want to be in my 60's with a teenager or two, or even three.....if it takes me longer to start that family so be it. I'm not letting age get in my way. I have spoken with quite a few fellows older than myself, and they have no children as of yet. It's your choice, don't base your decision on anyone's view but your own.
 eurosteve
Joined: 9/24/2009
Msg: 158
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 7/16/2010 5:09:11 AM
I am 31 and about to give up. I dont want to be an old dad coming home from work and laying in front of the tv watching something and drinking a beer and falling asleep, I want to be an active dad that plays soccer/hockey/whatever with his children. The most recent woman I have been with was 42, she had 3 kids which I didnt mind at all after 7 months I have found out that she was married all along and she just used me for some attention that her husband was not giving her. She still tells me she wants to be with me but said she went back to her husband that controls her, keeps her in "jail" and watches her every move, but he is LOADED! If she would rather be unhappy for the rest of her life over money instead of maybe perhaps just getting by and being happy.. its her choice :)
 eastwood969
Joined: 12/21/2009
Msg: 159
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 7/16/2010 8:01:24 AM
I usually give up everyday and then change my mind again the next day, so I will probably still be going through this routine at 70. What do you call it when someone can't remember what happened the day before? Oh yeah, Alzheimers, thats probably what it is.
 HappierAbroad
Joined: 6/30/2010
Msg: 160
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 7/19/2010 4:50:08 PM
Im 42 and even if I was 50, Id still never give up. If you guys (or gals) want kids at 40,50, or 60, go for it. I could give a rats ass about whether I can play soccer, basketball or whatever with my kids. What if you have a girl? More t han likely, she wont be doing much of the sports thing. To each their own. As of now I could, and expect to be able to play ball with my future kids well into my 50's , I dont see why I couldnt as Im in good shape and plan to stay that way.
 tiltowhirl
Joined: 6/6/2010
Msg: 161
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 7/19/2010 11:07:05 PM
I wouldn't use the phrase "giving up", but I made the decision last year to not pursue having a family with anyone. I even went so far as to get the wiring cut.

And the reason was for one that was specified: I don't want to be pushing 60 and have a child that will then need to change MY diapers.

But another thing is this: I've gotten to the age where women i'm meeting have already had their kids and sent them on their way, so very few wish to start Round 2. And since I didn't either, snippage occurred.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 162
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 7/21/2010 12:13:18 AM
When you get the Hallmark card from a 'friend'

Actually its a growth market for them , that they are missing.
'Sympathy' cards really dont quite say it all, but you know you should just give it up when the card with flowers and birds and an embossed envelope deliver it.
 Mn84evR
Joined: 4/1/2006
Msg: 163
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At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/14/2010 7:36:23 PM
I was actually just wondering this myself.
 readthedamnprofile
Joined: 5/5/2010
Msg: 164
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/15/2010 11:01:36 AM
It is not about what we might want, it is about what you want. If you think having a family is important then it is not too late to try but, if you are ambivalent about it, which I suspect you are, then maybe it is not such a good idea. It is not always easy to get pregnant in your forties, the risks of birth defects and pregnancy related health problmes increases and yes, you will be sixty before you have your freedom back. All things to take into account along with the fact that many men in this age bracket already have children from a previous relationship and may not want to start over again.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 165
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/15/2010 7:08:18 PM


 jeepwmn
Joined: 8/14/2009
Msg: 166
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 9/16/2010 11:48:15 AM
I might have to agree with what laprincesa said. .about being a better mommy to the pets, as the men that have been mutually interested in me. .seemed to only want me for one thing, and not interested in a relationship. I'm not attracted/interested (for the most part) to Asians, so that cuts out another group, and I'm trying my hardest to lose weight (at least 15 lbs, though it's not as easy as it was in my 20s). .so I'm not attracted to anyone on the large side.
 Tina002
Joined: 11/7/2010
Msg: 167
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 11/10/2010 4:42:51 PM
I find it difficult to find quality dates, and I seem to like arseholes so that does not help me. I have had passing thoughts of giving up and I am 40... so I joined this site. LOL
I don't think it is because we are more picky, it is because I know the type of man I want in my life. Life is too short to settle.
 Totenglocke
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 168
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 11/14/2010 3:47:34 PM

I am 29 and just gave up. I have realized I am not going to get the type of guy I want so id rather be alone then settle.


Exactly - I know I'm happier alone than ending up with the wrong girl. I still look around occasionally and give girls a chance when I meet them, but I know that I'm not going to find the girl I want (part of this being due to me not wanting kids), so I've basically given up. In a couple years when I hit 30 if I'm still single, then I'm definitely giving up for good.
 ~Azul Ojos~
Joined: 7/2/2008
Msg: 169
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 11/14/2010 4:32:22 PM

yeah man south of the border is the way to go.
Yes, I have heard this is the best/only way to go for those who cannot manage to date closer to home. The women are not really into physical attraction so that also helps. They are just happy to be able to become citizens of another country.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 170
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 11/14/2010 7:52:35 PM

I am 29 and just gave up. I have realized I am not going to get the type of guy I want so id rather be alone then settle.


truly that is the best thing. because if you decide to "settle" you could be with a man who things your the love of his life...

be careful how committed you are to this ideal...your biological clock will be pounding like big ben in a few years....


yeah man south of the border is the way to go.

Yes, I have heard this is the best/only way to go for those who cannot manage to date closer to home. The women are not really into physical attraction so that also helps. They are just happy to be able to become citizens of another country.


I've known guys who have done this and both parties are perfectly (as much as one can tell) happily married.

Nice for you to assume Azules that you speak for all women in another country and why they would marry and American man and that they value the attractiveness of a man in a different light than American women.

Good to know you have the pulse of hoardes of women you do not even know.

There are more than one reason that a man would choose to go South of the Border for a bride. Probably plenty of reasons you would never accept or would reject out of hand.
 ~Azul Ojos~
Joined: 7/2/2008
Msg: 171
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 11/14/2010 8:22:43 PM
I have first hand experience and friends from south of the border...

Their main interest is... and I actually can quote...
1. .... How much does the man earn?
2. .... How long do I have to be with this man before I can leave.
3..... When can I get citizen ship....

I know because I have friends who came from Costa Rica whose intent was to marry RICH men... I used to be flabbergasted by their honesty, that they only wanted money and citizenship... Maybe they were lying... But that is actually what they did... They were successful at it... and the poor guys who they duped were left looking REALLY STUPID.... (most of them were intelligent guys). Sad, but true.

.... also I lived in Bolivia for 3 years, and every single female was devoted to finding a 'gringo' to marry so they could come to the USA...' None of which are still with the men they married by the way... Oh, except for one...


So, you know nothing........ and I have experience to go by...

BUT GO AHEAD... ARGUE AWAY......





 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 172
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 11/14/2010 8:47:10 PM
Nice for you to assume Azules that you speak for all women in another country and why they would marry and American man


notice I said "all women"....you have not met all women south of the border.

that would be akin to my saying "all american woman" are X, Y, Z

are there women from these countries wishing to marry an american man only for a green card?

absolutely.

are there women here stateside which ONLY marry a man because he is wealthy?

absolutely.

what is the difference?


I too know men here who have married women from south of the border and they are still married, even after they received their green cards.

they did not go running for the hills as soon as the green card came in the mail.

of course - perhaps the men the women you know married were lesser men. men that do not have a clue how to deal with, nor relate to women here, or anywhere.

I've also knew an American woman that was offered to become the wife of some tribal leader in Africa...He offered her father 6 cows, 3 pigs and 2 lambs.


bottom line- there are plenty of women that fall into the category of the women you described. however, not all women are like this from those countries.

perhaps the women who you were associating with were lesser women. probably working in brothels today here stateside.


so yes, there are other folks out there that DO have experience. I have also lived outside of the states where American men were in HIGH DEMAND- yet these women are still with their man.

Perhaps the men I know are higher quality than the women you know.
 ~Azul Ojos~
Joined: 7/2/2008
Msg: 173
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 11/14/2010 8:56:04 PM

of course - perhaps the men the women you know married were lesser men. men that do not have a clue how to deal with, nor relate to women here, or anywhere.


Yep you are right Boons... these men were lesser men... they were all diplomats working for the US embassy... so they were numbskulls.....LOL...

WTF....... YOU are nuts, no a total fruit cake..........and just love arguing.......

 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 174
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 11/14/2010 9:27:44 PM
lesser men as in lesser men with women.

being a diplomat has nothing to do with being a "man"...
 Busminster
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 175
At what age do you Just Give Up?
Posted: 11/15/2010 11:58:43 AM

This is exactly why online dating doesn’t work and cause nothing but bitterness and deception. How many happy stories do we here on forums? There are obvious reasons for that


Well, conversely, we don't hear the happy stories on the forums because the happy stories HAVE NO REASON TO BE ON THE FORUMS. They're not here searching for dates anymore! It's sort of like, "Why is [lost object] always found in the last place I look?" Well ... because after you find it, you stop looking. Duh.

Anyway, I know quite a number of happy stories that began with online dating -- which is sort of a misnomer anyway. We're not DATING online, we're MEETING online. Once you get offline, that's where the dating (the talking, the getting to know someone, the connection) kicks in -- and at that point, to quote a little movie called Next Stop Wonderland, "the magic and mystery is not in how you met. The magic and mystery is in what kept you together AFTER you have met." Really ... how is meeting in a bar or club all that much preferable in the long run? So you know *right away* whether the person is the weight they say they are? Big deal.

Online dating sites do cause issues in that some people think, well, it's way too easy to just move on to the next person -- say this person is only 88% right for me, but my date next week might be 95% right! I do agree that it makes some people impatient. But that's something that people would (hopefully) learn anyway through the whole entire dating process: what works for them, and doesn't work for them, and how sometimes it takes more than one date for that extra percentage *oomph* to show up.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > At what age do you Just Give Up?