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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?      Home login  
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 QueenBeeSweetness
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 303
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?Page 18 of 22    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22)
Chessman, you are no better than the women that had babies with the wrong man.

Sex is designed for procreation. If you choose to engage in intimacy for pleasure only, you should be mature enough to either protect yourself, or care for any children you may create. If you cant/wont do either, you have no business having sex, leave it to the grown-ups. You are going to end up with a lot more mistakes than the one mistake you already have.

I too have a bad reaction to some condoms, and many birth control hormone combo's. No excuse.
 QueenBeeSweetness
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 304
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 7/22/2012 1:04:53 AM
BTW there are ways to tell when a woman is fertile and ovulating.
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 305
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 7/22/2012 8:51:38 AM
You mean "hadn't learned how THAT PARTICULAR woman was" right?? Cause I wouldn't wanna think you'll label all women because of the actions of one? You're a deadbeat dad. Does that mean all men are? Nope. And yea.. Pregnancy is a known outcome of having sex especially when unprotected, you chose to do it knowing this. Being young and dumb doesn't excuse you or remove responsibility from you. It is a very expensive wake-up call. I was young and dumb too. Difference is I don't blame him for my part in it. I blame him for leaving and not helping raise my son, which is what makes him a deadbeat. Would you even financially support your child if it wasn't court ordered? I don't wanna hear the "she moves around a lot" excuse.. You have parental rights and responsibilities that you aren't living up to. You CAN or could have stopped her from moving, you CAN or could have taken her to court for visitation. I know plenty of dads who did that and more to be in their child's life and I know a few who got the judge to make HER pay for his lawyer fees and court costs because she made it so difficult. Oh and you can take her back to have the child support lowered, but you run the risk of it being increased instead.
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 306
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 7/22/2012 9:27:16 AM

Ah.. I get it now.. so then it goes for men too..


No, not really.... mainly, guys are just stupid and trusting. They actually believe women when women say that they are not going to get pregnant because, for the most part, they've never even really given any thought to having a kid or what that entails....

.... they're just wanting the tail....


And I don't believe the "vast majority" do that..


Nah, easilty the vast majority of women want to have kids and have dreamed about it since they were little girls. An "oops" pregnancy removes any hesitation or having to actually get their ducks in a row before they are actually ready....

 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 307
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 7/22/2012 9:52:11 AM
So now we're using stupidity and ignorance as an excuse for ditching parental responsibility? Grasping at straws I see.

I just wanted tail too.. with no thought about having kids or what that entails.. Life happens.. you need to stand up and deal with it when it does. I've never heard anyone, either gender of any age say "I want to be a single parent at a young age before my ducks are in a row". Women who dream of kids, dream of a husband and house first followed by babies. When it happens out of order, before we are ready, we just deal with it, it's all we can do. Our own stupidity doesn't excuse us from doing so any more then it does you. And guys are no more trusting then women are.. they just let their "lower brain" override their "upper brain". That's not an excuse either. When you make an irresponsible choice in any aspect of your life you have to stand up and deal with it, no matter how life altering it that choice becomes. It's not different when you create life.
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 308
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 7/22/2012 10:06:42 AM

So now we're using stupidity and ignorance as an excuse for ditching parental responsibility?


They are as good as any other reason why someone runs away.


When you make an irresponsible choice in any aspect of your life you have to stand up and deal with it, no matter how life altering it that choice becomes. It's not different when you create life.


Yup.... and some guys choose to stand up and run away for any number of reasons... so what?

You are a great example for other young women. You should be telling them to do everything they can to avoid getting pregnant before they're ready. Popping kids out before women have their lives together is very popular. Too many women seem to think accessorizing with kids is a great idea and life will be rosy everafter....

Stupidity and ignorance causes some men to run just as it leads to too many young women fvcking up and having kids before they really should be having them ....

Cheers...

 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 309
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 7/22/2012 10:19:52 AM
~~~~~~~~
Stupidity and ignorance causes some men to run just as it leads to too many young women fvcking up and having kids before they really should be having them ....
~~~~~~~
Ah yes.. I agree to this as well. I went through a lot. I advocate protection, abstinence and thinking for yourself, not giving in to the pressure to have sex before you are ready to deal with the consequences. Doesn't change what I went through or what I did. I would hope young ladies see what I went through, since I tell it like it is, and make different choices. I would be fine with young women looking at me and deciding to not have sex or double and triple up when they do. Even if everyone did this and promoted this there will be unexpected, unplanned pregnancies. When they happen, it's NOT ok for one parent to bolt and leave all the responsibilities of raise the resulting child on the shoulders of the other. It's not ok for a guy to shrug his shoulder and run.

Oh and I never said it's not also the woman's fault, reason or ignorance. So don't sit there and say I did. It's both of them, and both of them need to handle it.


~~~~~
so what?
~~~
And that attitude is the exact problem. The "so what" mentality. You're pregnant? So what? I don't want kids. Peace out. Or the oh well it's your problem i'm gonna go find someone else to do the same thing to. It's not "so what" it's not "oh well" it's something that was created by 2 people being irresponsible and now both of them need to deal with it. Or the even more popular after the kids is born.. wow this is hard.. i'm running away now..peace. It's not ok. Both gender needs to take responsibility for their actions, after all neither one can do it alone.
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 310
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 7/22/2012 6:23:13 PM
And that attitude is the exact problem. The "so what" mentality.


I agree, though the reason, I'm sure, is much different than why you see it as an issue.

Guys bang women and fvck off. Absolutely. So what? So women need to put a lot more energy into making sure of who they're banging and what they're doing to avoid having kids they really should not be having. Some men are going to run. The younger the men are, the more likely it is that they will run, I'm guessing.

Women are smart. Women think with their vaginas most of the time, but they have at least 12 variations of BC to prevent pregnancy, 2 choices post-conception and they can give up a kid with impunity.

Some men run. So what? So what the fvck are women going to do about it? I would think they should be smarter, that's what.

You seem stuck on what your ex didn't do which isn't very smart at all. You did what you needed to do and good on you. Bravo! Brava!....

... but the guy's a fvcking shithead. You likely knew it long before you let yourself get pregnant.

Like many women, you seem stuck on men having to pay in some way for having sex with you. You've mentioned in numerous posts that men think they should have "consequence free sex"...

... OF COURSE they should. Women should ALSO enjoy sex without negative consequences. SO WHAT?

The funny thing is that I have no doubt that the sons of single mothers are likely some of the worst offenders of running. I've heard young women say that it's no big deal if they get pregnant and have to raise kids all by themselves because their MOTHERS were able to do it, so they can too....

... do you really think that the sons of single mothers see it any different? I'll bet you dollars to doughnuts that the sons also think that if some chick they're banging is stupid enough to not use BC that they, too, will be thinking that that chick will be fine because his mother did it...

Cheers.

 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 311
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 7/22/2012 6:48:29 PM
I'll take that bet and raise you a dozen men I went to high school with, raised by single moms all with deadbeat dad, who now have kids, some with undesirable women and ALL of them are in their kids life, 4 of them are fighting for custody 3 of them are either engaged or now married to the mother and the rest are spending as much time with their kids as they can. Their motivation is to be a better man then their father, cause they are all ANGRY with their father for not being there. I don't care what their motivation is, as long as they provide for their child. Of the single fathers, or men who's fathered babies that I've dated, only 1 was a deadbeat. (I dropped his a$$ as soon as I found that out, he has since given up his rights to the child) A few of them weren't the best men I've ever met, but they cared for their kids well.

If kids of single parents grow up and don't see that their mother struggled or don't understand what their mother went through to provide for them, then that child needs to take a long hard look at life. My child has everything he needs, he doesn't want for anything, he is well taken care of. At his age, he already knows that having his father around would have made things easier, not because I say anything, but because he can see the differences between our life and a 2 parents household and he could see the struggles I went through. Kids needs to see reality in a way that will make them a better adult. Impregnating a woman and running does not make them a good person.

If men had to pay to have sex with me, I would have a lot more money in the bank. lol. . The father of my child has to support his child. Those are 2 very different things.

Sex without negative consequences is great! But the act of sex can lead to pregnancy and everyone knows it. If that happens then it's on both parties. Not one or the other. It's both of them that need to deal with it.

And you know what, the whole attitude you portray above is the problem. It's not acceptable for a parent to walk away from their child. It's not that hard to understand. Of course woman can't stop a man from walking, i never said different. What I did say is that is shouldn't be accepted. If a man knows he created life and then chooses to walk away, he shouldn't be rewarded for that and he shouldn't feel like he did the right thing. A child needs both parents, it's what's in the best interest of the child 99 percent of the time. Whether the guy wants to admit it or not, whether he is ready or not and whether he wants the kid or not.
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 312
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 7/22/2012 7:43:36 PM
Are you talking to me?? Because I live in the States.. I never said women never do that. What I said is.. bring and use your own protection and don't rely on the woman. Avoid the whole mess. So yes, you were lied to and you were dumb enough to believe it and that sucks for you. Unprotected sex leads to pregnancy. It's an undeniable fact, it's not a surprise when a pregnancy occurs as the result of it. You don't want a child, then protect yourself and insist on her using something too. I also said I don't think it's as prevalent as the men on here are making it out to be. Woman don't really need to trick men.. all we have to do is say bareback? and the majority of men will be all about it. and plus in most cases the men who were "tricked" left the contraceptive responsibility in the hands of the woman and they screwed it up. that's as much your fault as it is hers. If you don't want a child, take responsibility into your own hands.

Oh and listen.. there is his perspective and her perspective and somewhere in the middle is the truth.. So remember that when you're talking with all your friends. I know some of the stuff my kids dad says about me.. it's completely different then what I say. I'm not lying, and well i guess he isn't either.. although I've caught him in some blatant lies..
 tygerpawn
Joined: 6/10/2012
Msg: 313
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 7/23/2012 7:33:34 AM
Only loser guys run at the first sign
 Capn_America
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 314
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 7/23/2012 10:10:32 AM

Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?Page


Only loser guys run at the first sign


HELL no. Assoon as my breasts start getting bigger, that I gety nausea in the mornings and my belly swells, I am OUTTA here......

lol
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 315
view profile
History
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 7/23/2012 5:38:01 PM
Chessman, surely there are men who are tricked, and women as well. Despite your argument that a woman has a choice, that choice does not exist for many women, and truthfully,the reasons why don't matter, as they are personal in nature. There are no repurcussions for the man who lies about his vasectomy. It is not right to lie, it's not right to deny one's offspring the necessities either. It's not right to be immature or irresponsible, but guess what? Immaturity & irresponsibility abound, no more rampant in one gender over another. The fact that you state that you "knocked up" the "tramp" to whom you forfeited 50% of your paycheck is proof positive. Thanks!

capitano, I"m surprised at you! Following your own logic, since men fuvk & run, if they don't want to pay cs, then they should be doubly sure that they don't produce a child. What women are going to do about it is to sue them for money, so perhaps it's time men wised up.

Truth is, I disagree with your beliefs about "most women", and likely about most men as well. The bottom line remains the same. The onus of preventing pregnancy falls most heavily on the party most desirous of preventing pregnancy. Pretty simple, one would think. In any case, when unplanned pregnancies occur, there are always two people who have to deal with it. It's not about fair, it's about reality.

There are many reasons that someone would flee from their responsibility, but it is not right that any parent would shirk their responsibility, so to answer why seems moot. It is simply not right, regardless of the circumstance that got them there and regardless of their gender. Can't we just leave it at that and cease the childish bickering?
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 316
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 7/25/2012 10:39:19 AM

capitano, I"m surprised at you! Following your own logic, since men fuvk & run, if they don't want to pay cs, then they should be doubly sure that they don't produce a child. What women are going to do about it is to sue them for money, so perhaps it's time men wised up.


Well, I want to be clear that I in no way think it's OK when a guy does a runner. Odds are he was an absolute fvcking idiot for believing a woman who says she is using BC or can't have kids. I agree that men need to smarten up and get snipped as early in life as they can or make sure they're using condoms and spermicide every time they have sex.


Truth is, I disagree with your beliefs about "most women", and likely about most men as well.


Sorry, not sure which of my generalizations you are talking about.


The onus of preventing pregnancy falls most heavily on the party most desirous of preventing pregnancy. Pretty simple, one would think.


Right, which would be, in the vast majority of cases, the woman. It's a fact that some men run and never get caught for the CS. Understandably, this drives women crazy, but they're nuts in the first place for not making sure they don't get pregnant until they have all their ducks in a row....


In any case, when unplanned pregnancies occur, there are always two people who have to deal with it. It's not about fair, it's about reality.


Well, given the numbers of women who say the guy they chose to have a kid with has flown the coop, I'd say that it's often ONE person who has to deal with it.


There are many reasons that someone would flee from their responsibility, but it is not right that any parent would shirk their responsibility, so to answer why seems moot. It is simply not right, regardless of the circumstance that got them there and regardless of their gender.


I agree. It isn't right, but that doesn't mean it's not going to continue to happen. Men are going to fvck and run for as many reasons as there are men who do it.

I feel sorry for the kids. The women are fvcking idiots as are the men.


Can't we just leave it at that and cease the childish bickering?


.... and what the hell would we do then, fer Christ's sake?

Cheers.

 ben1734
Joined: 5/25/2012
Msg: 317
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 7/25/2012 8:19:10 PM
no body would date a woman who might be pregnet thats common for people to run send huge red flags besides wheres there ex and woman is already on the dating scene while shes pregnet not a way to start a realtionship . great topic ?
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 318
view profile
History
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 7/25/2012 8:32:17 PM

Right, which would be, in the vast majority of cases, the woman.


But the attitude of many who are participating here is that women are tricking men. No matter, I am not looking for more reasons to pit the sexes against each other. If you don't want to be responsible/held responsible/tricked into having or raising a child, than it up to YOU to prevent that from happening.


and what the hell would we do then, fer Christ's sake


We could drink! We could have sex (protected, of course).

(Where are my emoticons?!?!?)
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 319
view profile
History
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 7/25/2012 9:21:33 PM
One can argue whatever they want, but you are simply adding clauses to the argument. So, if a man doesn't mind having a child but doesn't want to have a child by a woman who retains her pregnancy weight gain, than it is up to HIM to prevent that from happening? Really? Absurd! You are clearly looking for an argument to foster your glaring contempt for the opposite sex. Sorry, illogical argument, and not even a nice try.
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 320
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 7/26/2012 12:59:38 PM

But the attitude of many who are participating here is that women are tricking men.


Well, I'm not sure about many. I think that many guys know that it happens.

I don't believe many women try to trick men about the pregnancy, though I have no doubt that a lot of women who have "oops" pregnancies are tricking themselves into believing they did everything they could have to prevent the pregnancy.

I also wouldn't be surprised at all if many of the guys who run were getting ready to run before the woman announced the wonderful news that she was pregnant.


If you don't want to be responsible/held responsible/tricked into having or raising a child, than it up to YOU to prevent that from happening.


I agree.


We could drink! We could have sex (protected, of course).


Well, yes we could....

.... though you're going to have to stand in line, sorry....

(... but in the mean time, you could send pics of your ass.... that may get you further up in the queue.... )

 ModelMan2014
Joined: 10/9/2012
Msg: 321
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 10/13/2012 1:17:02 PM
I dont think all men are like that. I know im not but i think because a good % of the population thinks with the penis there for the pros outway the cons.
 TwistedAir
Joined: 9/24/2012
Msg: 322
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 10/13/2012 2:37:06 PM
This child support thing can mess up your life for about 20 years even though the kid is not yours but you live with a woman for a while in NY and other states. So be careful in what you do...
 TheRealMackaay
Joined: 9/7/2012
Msg: 323
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 10/13/2012 3:02:42 PM
Well, this question was interesting. Quick answer is that we live in as society where divorce is running rampant and so many kids are being raised by single parent households. Many men know from experience that a husband will become a defendant before he even gets to know his children. So, while I do not advocate running from responsibility, I understand why so many do. When you are treated as a criminal, called "defendant" and abused in the Family Court system, you lose hope. That is the best I can do to explain why I think young men run away without even trying to be a Dad. Maybe they know what will happen when she gets tired of being together, files a restraining order and starts a child support obligation. It has been a painful experience for many American men and many young men had a bad example to consider while growing up with a single parent Mom who hated Dad.
 dbg29
Joined: 10/6/2012
Msg: 324
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 10/13/2012 3:43:53 PM
wrap it up and always pull out.....puff puff pass....
 RgTheRnBFan
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 325
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 10/13/2012 5:35:30 PM
Because Maury said it wasn't mine. Duhh. Maury's DNA tests shall never be questioned! There isn't one answer to this question there are so many possibilities. Men may run at the first sign of pregnancy because it is a big responsibility that many men can't handle. This is mostly in men that aren't mature enough to take away their world where they are the center of attention. Although there may be other factors such as family that pull them one way. With things like oh my god you got a girl pregnant how could you do this? Showing signs of disappointment. Men may feel the best way to escape the disappointment is to avoid the responsibility and cut the girl off completely. There are so many things that could be the reason a man runs. Why do couples have sex without protection if there is even a possibility that the man is going to run? There are things such as morning after pill, condoms, birth control, and surgical procedures that can prevent pregnancies. Although none of them are 100% they are very close to 100%. If a woman gets pregnant and a man is using a condom and the woman uses birth control. Then the man should assume the responsibility regardless. If he doesn't he'll be missing out on the child's life and it's his loss. And a woman can't beat herself up over getting pregnant and the guy ditched her. They took all the precautions to avoid it and that right there is an achievement in society today. Something to be proud of. If that woman doesn't think she can handle raising the baby due to financial problems or she can't do it by herself then abortion or giving her to the proper authorities for adoption are always options. If a woman doesn't want to do either than she should assume the responsibility of taking care of the child by herself. That is all. /End rant. (I know I got off subject. lol oh well. xD)
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 326
view profile
History
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 10/13/2012 8:09:25 PM

How you liking it?


The whole problem with women who seek to alienate a man from his children is exactly that attitude. It's not about how adults feel about such a situation, it's about the effect on the child(ren). This is not about "even-ing" the score. What an inappropriate comment!
 armyvet30
Joined: 10/11/2012
Msg: 327
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 10/21/2012 2:38:45 PM
Thats why Im thankful for living where I do. As long as the father shows support, has a home, a job and overall decent, if requested the father can ask for joint custody and placement and the judge will give it. Before my ex and I got married, we had and on and off relationship and on one of our off times she dated a guy-for several months and thought she might be pregnant, we were friends during all of our breakups she told me about it and wasn't sure what to do, she told the guy and he wasn't sure what he wanted so she cut it off and when she told me and since we had a long past I told her that even if we didn't get back together at one point I would take the child as mine. Turned out she just had a late, late period. There was another where we seperated and I was gone for the military and she told me about a guy she met and was dating for a few weeks but they broke up before I can home for Christmas, we had some fun during that time and after I got back, she told me that she was pregnant comfirmed by a doctor. We talked about her options, cuz we didn't know who's it was, and she was honest from the beginning. When I came home I told her I'd sign the parentage without question. Due to being in the military, they require a DNA test if not married to the mom before they take out CS even with a courtorder. So it came back that I was the true father, and my life has never been better. She did use condoms with the other two and not with me, and thats because since we had along past she didn't mind having a child with me cause she knew that I'd be there and didn't bother me either cause I knew she wouldn't rake me over the coals. I do have joint everything and do pay CS but that only because with her being on state aid it over rules our divorce decree. I would never run from a woman that said she was pregnant, although I would wait for a DNA test. My ex was different due to our long past.
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