Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 26
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?Page 2 of 22    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22)

The only thing Plan B does is prevent ovulation, if it has already occured and there are sperm present it won't work.


Not true according to what I understand about it:

http://www.planb.ca/how.html


Plan B is simple to use
And remember the sooner you take it the more effective it is.

plan B is two pills which you take together. If taken within 72 hours, it prevents pregnancy by doing one of three things:

-Temporarily stops the release of an egg from the ovary
-Prevents fertilization
-Prevents a fertilized egg from attaching to the uterus


plan B is not an abortion pill—if you take plan B you will not be terminating a pregnancy.

If you are already pregnant and take plan B, there’s no evidence that plan B will harm you or the fetus.



 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 27
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/13/2009 1:38:52 PM

Fate only fails to intervene if you do not believe in it... I do... Everything happens for a reason... I got pregnant with my daughter for a reason.. Not a reason I chose, but one God, fate, whatever chose... If I hadn't had my daughter when I did, I would be dead by now...


If that works for you, cool, but it is still Magical Thinking.

See, I'm a great believer in personal responsibility and self determination. I don't rely on FATE or any other agency for what happens in my life.

According to Magical Thinking, men run because of a woman's FATE or some agency which intends/determines that he will run....

... so, you got what was intended for you, I suppose.

 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 28
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/13/2009 2:05:43 PM
The only way a pregnancy can be a fluke is if you were walking down the street sans panties, tripped and fell on someones penis while he was masturbating, and he jizzed on your eggs because you were in the way.
I hate it when that happens.
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 29
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/13/2009 6:44:51 PM

Fate can also be getting pregnant when you're told you CAN'T get pregnant.
One of my friends broke her pelvis when she was younger. The doctor told her that she would never have kids because the pelvis would rupture the uterus. She has 2 kids. Two other of my friends were told they'd never carry to term. They have kids.


I have problems with this item on a couple of levels.

First, I can't understand why a doctor would tell a woman she cannot get pregnant unless she's missing a uterus and/or ovaries. It doesn't make sense. Doctors could be liable for this sort of thing, couldn't they? Not to mention that if so many women are being told by so many doctors that they CAN'T get pregnant, don't you think the doctors would notice that so many women get pregnant after being told this?

I notice it, and I wouldn't even claim to know as much as a doctor... ANY doctor.

Second, the other side tells me that if you, and every other woman out there, KNOWS so many women who've been told they can't get pregnant, then the DO get pregnant, why the fvck would you believe it when a doctor tells you that????

I just HAVE to call bullshit on someone here. Doctors, women, doctors, women....


Are they to be blamed for their child being born with disabilities? It would make sense with your "if it happens, you planned it" theory...


First off, I'm not blaming anyone. I'm simply poking holes in some of the bullshit that so many women want us to believe about 'accidental pregnancies'.

Second, I have no such belief as you state it. My belief is that many women DO NOT plan enough to AVOID pregnancy then blame their pregnancy on GOD, FATE, or ACCIDENTS.

 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 30
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/13/2009 7:39:39 PM

There's alot more that goes into getting pregnant. Some women can't have kids because the uterus is tilted in the wrong direction, some have uterine cysts that make getting pregnant virtually impossible. Some have only one ovary that works properly and can only get pregnant at certain times. Women who have a uterus have the ability to NOT get pregnant. If there wasn't, there would be no need for fertility specialists...


You missed the point I was making, but that's ok.

It's probably time to get back on track and to address the OP anyway.

 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 31
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/13/2009 7:53:00 PM

That is what you said... I was just explaining to you that there are times when you CAN'T get pregnant when you have a uterus and ovaries. Obviously you don't want to learn...


... sigh...

I have never disputed the fact that women with their gear in order cannot, do not, conceive....

... and I'm not going to draw you pictures to try to help you understand...

Cheers.

 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 32
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/13/2009 7:54:33 PM

As for the OP... Why men run... Because they aren't men... They're boys. MEN-- REAL MEN--- would never run.


^^^^ That is one of those stupid arguments women love to make but that has zero basis in reality...

Again... cheers.

 littlelired
Joined: 6/17/2007
Msg: 33
view profile
History
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/13/2009 10:24:58 PM
i feel sometimes if women could run from an unexpecteds pregnancy they would.

I can honestly tell you that when my last child was born and i had a major hemorhage and nearly died...my now exhubby decided he "couldnt deal with it" and left that hospital....want to know that truth?? if i could have left i would have too....

so the only difference is that they can leave!
 carterscutie85
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 34
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/14/2009 12:02:11 PM

and she tried to kill them after my second was born


How did she try to kill them? Is she in jail now?
 NotElvisJunior
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 35
view profile
History
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/15/2009 8:02:30 PM
Wow, this debate's gone on a few pages more, but I suppose I could point out the other thread where it went on in excess of 40 pages.

THAT said . . are we still exactly sure what the OP meant? It seems a bit ambiguous to me whether me meant a couple dating and she gets pregnant, or a man and woman meeting, then somewhere along the way she mentions she's already pregnant by another man (ie: from prior to when she met the current guy).
 NotElvisJunior
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 36
view profile
History
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/15/2009 8:33:43 PM
Whoops, only 30 pages, sorry! Read the tedium and enjoy. http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts12454656.aspx
 ~*Isabel Kitty*~
Joined: 7/6/2009
Msg: 37
view profile
History
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/16/2009 2:33:35 AM
I was married, my pregnancy was planned....when we split up he took responsibility for a while, when he wanted me to talk to him. When he found out about me moving on with someone new, the payments stopped & he got his girlfriend of only 2-3 months pregnant, on purpose, for spite. Now if I was his new girlfriend, why would *I* let myself get pregnant by a guy who I knew did this? Oh ya, she thinks she's going to be "different", that'd he'd support her kid no matter what etc.
 ~*Isabel Kitty*~
Joined: 7/6/2009
Msg: 38
view profile
History
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/16/2009 2:37:47 AM

If a couple are using birth control, the implication is that they DO NOT want a kid at this time. If then suddenly the woman find herself PG and says well I changed my mind, then the burden should be solely on her to accept ALL responsibility.


What if they don't believe in abortion? I don't. Especially as I had a miscarriage, and it hit me really hard emotionally. It wouldn't be a matter of "changing my mind", just morally wrong to me to do that. So i'd keep the pregnancy, and concider adoption but then...that's not easy either as after 9 months of growing a baby you can go from "I don't want a baby" to getting attached. And I don't think she should be *forced* to accept all responsibility financially unless she wants to do it alone.
 big pacific
Joined: 7/2/2009
Msg: 39
view profile
History
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/16/2009 11:16:45 AM
Men are in control of their own sperm, but HERE is what women control.

Their Egg (as in the choice to have sex)
Birth Control (just like men, only more reliable)
The choice of whether or not to KEEP the pregnancy (men have no say in abortion)
The choice of whether to RAISE the child (men have no say in adoption)

If a woman doesn't want to spend her money? She can abort or give for adoption.
A man doesn't want to spend his? Too damn bad.

What if he wants the kid and she doesn't? And she aborts? What then?

If you want to hold all the keys to all the cities, and use the "it's our body, it's our decision" line, the only LOGICAL conclusion is that you bear the brunt of your decisions that WE didn't have.
 carterscutie85
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 40
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/16/2009 4:14:23 PM

I should also add, this is how he plans to teach his 13 yr old son to behave, that men don't have any control over it so do as you want, who cares how many children come of it. Poor kid at least his mother has half a brain to tell him about birth control and the ways of some women.


First u say he says if a women gets pregnant he wants nothing to do with the child. Then u say he's got a 13 year old kid who he plans to teach to behave the same way he does. So how can he have 13 year old kid in his life if he says he is in no way responsible and won't step up if a women gets pregnant by him?
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 41
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/16/2009 5:10:30 PM

MSG 50:I do believe that sometimes men actually reep the finacial consequence of supporting a child BECAUSE they ran away immediately after the woman told them.




She's saying that men run, therefore women hit them with CS out of spite which IS common, I believe.~capitano~


^^^Not saying that at all...I am saying men confuse and complicate the issue by not wanting to deal with the many emotional issues women may have when dealing with such a big unexpected scary dilema.


Well, seems like you're doing a bit of back-pedalling there, lizzie.... you brought up "finacial" (sic) consequences in message 50... not a lot of talk of emotional stuff in the statement I was referring to....

..... besides.... why would you or any woman be surprised by a pregnancy if you aren't using any BC and allowing a guy to slurp buckets of tequila out of your belly button?... (... just the image of that in my head gives me the willies... )


So your saying that if money wasn't a factor...than more men would stick around to deal with the dilema of an unwanted or unexpected pregnancy?


I am saying that for certain situations, yes. Many women make it all about the money, use CS as a means to get back at men and hide behind that shield emblazoned with, "IN THE BEST INTERESTS OF THE CHILD".....


 big pacific
Joined: 7/2/2009
Msg: 42
view profile
History
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/17/2009 8:49:56 AM
It's cultural, hell where i grew up women used to brag about being pregnant.
 big pacific
Joined: 7/2/2009
Msg: 43
view profile
History
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/17/2009 10:33:36 AM
I think the economic end needs to be taken into account. People well above the poverty line don't receive more cash from their job if they have more children, while many of our poorest receive substantially larger handouts from our government to have more kids.

A lot of poor women in this country see kids as a pay raise.
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 44
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/17/2009 5:28:14 PM

. Just once I'd like to hear a woman say "You know what, I took a risk and I got pregnant" instead of claiming it was "accidental".


I took a risk and got pregnant. Not my shining moment of intelligence.


it actually took me 3 cycles after going off the pill when i wanted to get pregnant, to concieve.
 NotElvisJunior
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 45
view profile
History
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/17/2009 9:50:06 PM
jenn8131 wrote:
Are men not in control of their own sperm??? I don't understand why men should take any less precautions then a woman to protect themselves from an unwanted pregnancy. If a man blindly believes a woman that she is taking bc he's playing with fire.

A man's hard earned money? What about a woman's hard earned money? FS come on women work just as hard as men do. When I was working in vancouver I'd work 60 hour weeks. While some of our work might not be labor intensified as my ex pointed out to me on numerous occasions (not real work) I was still the one buying his steaks.


If you'll note back to the post that you're responding to, the train of logic is that BOTH people state to each other that they don't want a child. I would personally assume that this means that, if there's an "oops" then the woman plans to either abort or put the child up for adoption.

Unless, if a woman states the following:
"I do NOT want to have a child"

that men are supposed to translate it as:
"I'm saying verbally that I don't want a child, but what I really mean is that if I do get pregnant, you'd better be ready to be a father."

Is this so?


Clickon-baby!! wrote:
Most sane men are in control of their sperm but how many times here do we have to read about how a woman was duped into letting the man not wear a condom?

This actually brings up an interesting point.

Women DO have more control in the situation... why?

A woman can tell a man that she is on birth control and the man can not verify this in any way - he has to take her word for it, or assume she's lying.

A man can tell a woman he's wearing a condom, but if he isn't, the woman CAN tell, maybe not within the first one or two seconds, but almost right away.



And now, on to the assumption that the OP meant that the woman was previously pregnant by another man, zendy wrote:
Ive actually seen a young seven month pregnant girl post her profile here,complete with a picture of her enormous stomach! I might sound crazy but there's no way I could date a pregnant woman but I could be friends with one.About a month a ago,I took my pregnant neighbour out to a night club(something about the baby liking rock music),guys after guys hit on her even though she looked as big as a house! Its a crazy world we live in.

Not actually particularly surprising to me - there are a number of women who, when pregnant, "wear it well" for lack of a better term. Some, I admit, personally, I've found "hot" while pregnant.

It works for some women, doesn't work for others - just one of those random things I guess.
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 46
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/19/2009 8:45:35 AM

I was slightly surprised that I didn't beat the odds....but not as shocked as he was! (poor buggar)
I am as culpable and have owned the responsibilities that came with my decision...I could have done more to prevent the pregnancy....but then again so could he have at that same moment


No, you didn't tell him he needed to wear a condom if he was going to bang you.

YOU rolled the dice after started a new pill. Even I know that a month is dicey. YOU were the one in control of your vagina, and the equipment it leads to, not him. YOU know your cycle, not him.

"DAMN the torpedoe! Stick it in!," is simply relying on FATE to be your BC....


When a man has never taken ownership of his own cupability and responsibility, THEN he cannot defend the reasons he has for NOT stepping up to a moral obligation to the woman he got pregnant or in some cases the child he abanndoned!


How exactly does a guy GET a woman pregnant like she's some innocent bystander.... or passive sperm depository ....

... even if he doesn't realize just how vat-like some belly buttons are when he starts slurping the booze...

Of course he can defend his reasons: He didn't want a kid and he has ZERO moral obligation to the woman. Right or wrong, just like the woman, he has every right to self-determination.


They will always feel cheated without ever realizing they have an unclaimed reward.


Unclaimed reward? Reward? A kid he didn't want with a woman he likely didn't love enough who is going to pester him for the rest of his life and who is going to chase him around trying to get her hand into his wallet.


I am hoping that the next two generations of sons that have been cast aside and abanndoned by their father's have strong mother's and positive male influences to guide them to the point where they can be responsible for their actions and find hope in soloutions to problems they face.


Let's not forget that many of those young, twenty-something, guys who are running were brought up by single mothers. Says quite a bit about the robust diet or moral fibre they were being fed by those single moms, eh?

And, as That Guy Him pointed out, many of the girls these days are learning from their single mothers that it's no big deal to squirt out a kid at 18 or whenever the whim wafts through their brain, or tickles their vagina. After all, mom did it.

It's being CELEBRATED in the media these days.

Reward? Maybe if there was NO reward, award, gifts or prizes for cranking kids out just because you can, there would be fewer messed up kids around.

 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 47
view profile
History
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/19/2009 10:55:49 AM
some of you have said that the kids of single parent will repeat the pattern. Not necessarily true. Some kids from single parents or couples learn from their parents mistakes. I for one can remember saying that I will never make that mistake or act a certain way that my parents did, that was wrong or a mistake. The thing is to teach your kids what mistakes you have made and how they can keep from making them theirselves. But you need to recognize the mistakes you have made first before the pattern can be broken. To error is human.
 big pacific
Joined: 7/2/2009
Msg: 48
view profile
History
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/21/2009 12:16:35 PM

When a pregnancy occurs, while it may be happening to a woman, it is not one person's responsibility, it is the responsibility of the two people who were engaged in the behaviour that led to the pregnancy...it is not her pregnancy, it is their pregnancy.


If this is true, then he gets EQUAL decision making power on whether or not the child is aborted or given up for adoption. I love that all these women here are espousing how it's OUR choice to get her pregnant, and OUR pregnancy and OUR behaviour that get us to this steps as a couple.

But only MY choice on what we do next. I hold supreme authority on whether or not this child is born, so while you have half the responsibility, you get NO say after pregnancy.

Funny how "our" becomes "my" real quick isn't it?


SOMEONE, for god's sake ANYONE explain to me how THAT makes sense.
 NotElvisJunior
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 49
view profile
History
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/22/2009 2:12:10 PM
National Campaign to Prevjenn8131 wrote:
However I was on the pill and I didn't tell him.Because he was intentionally trying to get me pregnant.

You KNEW this and you had sex with him anyway?


The Naked Ape wrote:
futureshock wrote:
Yes, she could. The problem with that is, in some cases the woman is not as against having a baby as the man is at the time. Some women, after they get comfortable in the relationship, fall in love, or for some other mysterious reason, start to not be as careful with their bc use as they should be. They start to think having a baby with this man might not be such a bad idea. He'll come around to the idea when he sees his child, etc., etc., etc.
IOW, she's comfortable taking away his self-determination, and she knows what he "needs", more than he does.


As evidenced by the article I've linked to in several threads, several times, which, unfortunately, few women seem to want to accept as a possibility.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29663943//

Quote-worthy:

The National Campaign study found that many single women, when they allow themselves to be completely honest, aren’t thinking pregnancy would be the end of the world. "Even though my boyfriend says he doesn’t want kids, I know he does," says Holly, 21, who took part in the National Campaign focus groups. In fact, the organization’s research has found that nearly one in four pregnancies is considered intentional by the woman but not by the man.


Sobering....

Interesting, one woman in one thread tried to discredit the article by mocking the fact that it was from Self magazine... despite the fact that this article actually was using information from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy in Washington, D.C.

I guess attacking the publication was easier than trying to counter the information provided.ent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy in Washington, D.C.
 ThatsNOTmybaby
Joined: 10/27/2008
Msg: 50
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 9/29/2009 8:57:03 PM
Maybe he realized that there's a good chance that the kid is NOT his and he ran like the ROADRUNNER..... BEEP! BEEP!
Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?