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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?      Home login  
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 ontario_woman
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 101
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Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?Page 5 of 22    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22)
Birth control is a mutual responsibility.

Both people knowingly accept the risk of a surprise pregnancy due to birth control failure when they engage in sexual activity.
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 102
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Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 2/8/2012 1:08:53 PM

my original point was if you're in doubt wrap it up, the double bagging was being sarcastic and you missed it but that's okay.

Seeing how it's a pretty common misconception that double wrapping is more effective, I could only take your comment for it's face value and think that you were being serious.


Any woman who takes their BCP once a week knowing she should take it once a day is a moron or mentally unstable

Moot point. All I'm saying is that, REGARDLESS OF THE REASONING, improperly using contraception = bad.


And yes you did mention STD's msg 234 .

That post was unrelated entirely. I specifically said "and the response of mine that you quoted made no reference to STDs"

Enough deciphering, I'm pretty sure we are generally on the same page. Moving on.
 5150Rivergirl
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 103
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 2/8/2012 3:37:25 PM

I have no idea how you translated "don't use protection improperly" into "don't use protection at all."


you sure seemed to concentrate on the whole woman having much more available choices for protection (true). I was merely pointing out that it isnt a contraception contest
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 104
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Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 2/8/2012 5:07:24 PM
There is so much more at risk in todays society when it comes to sex.

While I absolutely agree that the responsibility of a pregnancy involves both the male and the female in the most simplistic sense, and along with that comes equal responsibility for contraception, you had better be prepared financially and legally in the event things are not so "simple".........

Family courts and governments have done (through law) a great deal to make sure the well being of children are:

A). NOT the responsibility of the government in the event of divorce or separation.

B). A money making venture of large proportion for those who have careers in family law.

To ensure you do NOT get stung by unscrupulous people who may take advantage of these laws and the system in general, you MUST be aware of the consequences involved in the action, and PROTECT yourself accordingly.

Common sense would dictate that you "wrap it up" and choose your partners wisely....no doubt.

Beyond that, make absolutely sure you realize how the laws work and be prepared to spend money in the event of a "discrepancy" in identifying paternity.......this is a reality of todays society - be prepared to deal with it!! The days of "innocent until proven guilty" are over and have been for a long time. Dishonesty is commonplace, especially when finances are concerned. Be prepared to defend yourself!! If not, you could spend up to 22 years of paying child support for a kid that may not have been yours, regardless if you are active in that childs life or not!!

Also be equally prepared to deal with the same legalities from a post-relationship point of view (aka...second relationship with a partner with kids). The laws apply equally to these relationships as well and you could suffer the same fate even though you know you are not the bio parent........all you have to do is be percieved as a parental figure for these laws to apply.......

Be responsible and know what you risk if you engage in that 20 minutes of pleasure!! Given these kinds of issues, sometimes a few clicks on a good porn site and a warm hand might be a better choice.........just sayin......
 truckerburban
Joined: 2/1/2012
Msg: 105
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 2/11/2012 5:23:04 PM
When i was told i was going to be a dad. I was so excited i jumped up out of bed and ran to the bathroom were i threw up
i work my butt off to suport my child, i dont understand people who run from a child
If your not ready to accept that you might have a child. Then dont have sex
 4x4guy95348
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 106
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 2/13/2012 11:04:04 PM
I can't speak for other men but when I got my ex pregnant I made she she had everything she needed. New house, new car, I cooked and hired a cleaning lady and heck I even delivered my little man! I tol the midwife to take a hike! I'm a big man and she didn't say no!!!

It all depends on the man's upbringing. If she was good enough to make a baby with me, she's good enough to have me there as a responsible dad.

Were all made differently.

All of this and I still wasn't good enough to keep! Go figure!
 Chrispys
Joined: 6/26/2011
Msg: 107
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 2/14/2012 5:35:56 AM
All men wouldn't run, if I was moronic enough to not make sure to avoid a pregnancy, I would raise that kid. I wouldn't be having sex with someone I'm not compatible with or didn't have a committed relationship with already so I would stay with the mom and stick with her choice.

Of course I'm not a moron, and I would always use 2 forms of birth control. If she STILL gets pregnant, that's a sure sign from god that baby was supposed to happen haha.
 ontario_woman
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 108
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Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 2/14/2012 6:17:49 AM

All men wouldn't run, if I was moronic enough to not make sure to avoid a pregnancy, I would raise that kid. I wouldn't be having sex with someone I'm not compatible with or didn't have a committed relationship with already so I would stay with the mom and stick with her choice.

Of course I'm not a moron, and I would always use 2 forms of birth control. If she STILL gets pregnant, that's a sure sign from god that baby was supposed to happen haha.


It's nice to see a young man who understands his responsibilities.

Be careful who you sleep with and use two methods of birth control. It's very simple. When you consent to sex, you are accepting the risk of an unplanned pregnancy. There are ways to significantly decrease the risk, but it will always be there if you are sexually active.

It takes two to make a baby and once a pregnancy occurs, it's no longer about the man or the woman or who did what to whom; it's about the child. Both parents need to take responsibility for that child. Anything else is just going to hurt the child, the one true innocent in all of this.
 0gental1
Joined: 5/23/2010
Msg: 109
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Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 2/14/2012 7:09:45 AM
Responsibility can put a lot of fear into a person. However lot’s of people don’t see that the children suffer the most. As for you if you’re a single parent you need to remember that if he can run many more may get scared later on down the road. So protect that child and don’t let him have men running in and out of his life. Also some run b/c their own fathers ran and so they figure it would be easy. Some run b/c they aren’t ready for wedding bells and a stronger commitment and don’t even bother to ask you if you want that. Or if you can just be friends and raise the child with moral support and as two parents. As for the state programs and stuff yes a lot of people end up paying that with tax dollars. But not all single parents are like that. I struggle as a single parent. It also upsets me that more people take advantage of the state and welfare(s). then try and use it to help them get back on their feet. I have 3 kids and I am a very proud mom that knows she isn’t on food stamps or a check. Its hard never easy. But life isn’t easy. So to all you single mom that the daddy ran out on you. Know it wasn’t you he ran out on it was the child. So even if your hurt that life is a blessing and be thankful you are brave enough to see it grow and love you more then his dead beat daddy.
 Ravenstar66
Joined: 8/27/2007
Msg: 110
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Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 2/14/2012 9:37:41 PM
I don't agree with anyone shirking their responsibilities.. and if you choose to have sex - there's always the chance that pregnancy will occur. That's BIOLOGY.. and a risk everyone takes, EVERY TIME, birth control or no - and should own up to. Or get a vasectomy, tie your tubes, whatever it takes if you can't face the music.

BUT... when I found out I was pregnant... hell, I wanted to run..
unfortunately you can't get away from your own womb.... :(

Scared shitless.

But I dealt with it, owned my responsibility and now have a beautiful daughter I wouldn't trade for anything. Parenthood has been a blessing in my life.
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 111
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Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 2/20/2012 8:34:29 PM

Men who run are cowards and lack the fundamental thing that makes them human...basic humam instinct to care for their own child.

Umm, personal survival overrides caring for your young (i.e. ridding yourself of any obligations and hindrances). If you want to get down to "basic" instincts, men care about -spreading- their seeds, not caring for them. Caring for their young is part of women's basic instincts. Nice try though.



BTW mcrs...you really are a load that should have been swallowed...or not double wrapped..

I see what you did there!!! That was -almost- funny. It's amazing that you're not doing stand-up. But I guess the toils of raising some dude's unwanted child while leeching off the government has taken up too much of your precious time.


Twit.
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 112
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Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 2/21/2012 5:40:57 AM

Said by a man without children who wouldn't know.

Well, what's YOUR explanation for why these guys are running away? I hear a lot of comments about shirking off responsibilities or being immature. Well, it may be hard for you to grasp, but those particular men are looking out for themselves and their personal survival. It may be frowned upon, but that's what they're doing.


Again, over generalising to what women are about.

Not at all. Cindraizzie has said several times on these forums that she uses government assistance. And the way she talks about it, it's like she wears it like a badge of honor. But you haven't been a member long enough to know about that.


Said by a man without children who wouldn't know.

For a man who has no children and such a hang up about this issue with his statements.

Oh, the old "you haven't been there, so you can't have opinion" argument. You're delusional if you think that people are incapable of being empathic.

If you feel so strongly about this, you should try to get women to stop posting replies in the Ask a Guy forums and stop men from posting replies in the Ask a Girl forums.
 5150Rivergirl
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 113
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 2/21/2012 6:11:56 AM

What about the women who have to give up their jobs because of child care costs and end up having to go to the state?


thats a choice.
yes, childcare is expensive, get another job, higher paying one, instead of using the state to be your crutch and backbone.
there are also subsidy programs so one doesnt have to quit and go on aide because of childcare costs...this varies state to state.
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 114
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Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 2/21/2012 5:16:13 PM


What about the women who have to give up their jobs because of child care costs and end up having to go to the state?


thats a choice.
yes, childcare is expensive, get another job, higher paying one, instead of using the state to be your crutch and backbone.
there are also subsidy programs so one doesnt have to quit and go on aide because of childcare costs...this varies state to state.


Cosign


Before this topic gets TOO derailed...

Why do men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Because they didn't want the responsibilities of parenthood, and the women that they slept with, had an opposing position. That's the brass tacks of it all. Say what you want to say ab0ut manliness and responsibility and all that happy horsesh!t, but that's the reason.
 5150Rivergirl
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 115
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 2/21/2012 7:11:04 PM

but that's the reason.


Negative. Thats YOUR reason.


because they didn't want the responsibilities of parenthood, and the women that they slept with, had an opposing position


Why do you always think the women have this sneaky thing up their sleeves? By this statement, it sounds as if you think the women planned to have a pregnancy result from having unprotected sex. What draws you to this conclusion???

Fact is, its BOTH parties responsibility to ensure pregnancy doesnt happen. If you dont want to be a father at this moment in your life, be responsible for your own body and bring a condom with you if you are going to engage in sex. Even if you are not sure sex will happen on a date. Better safe than sorry. This goes for women too.

You want want your sperm to swim up the hill, then bag it so it stays in that little ziplock baggie of a condom. THAT is the brass tacks of it all.


Say what you want to say ab0ut manliness and responsibility and all that happy horsesh!t,


Its funny you talk about responsibility. Cause, in my world, responsibility comes with protecting yourself BEFORE the act of conception starts (if you are not wanting to be a mother or father yet).

Both sexes take ownership. We all know unprotected sex CAN result in an unplanned pregnancy. We are all adults and know about the birds and the bees. So walking away after you f'ed up and didnt jimmy up (same goes for women) is BOTH your responsbility now. Too late.

Say all you want, paint it all the pretty colors you want, to shirk away your part with an unplanned pregnancy. You are in charge of where your sperm goes, just as much as when a woman spreads her legs too :)
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 116
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Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 2/22/2012 5:03:56 AM

Why do you always think the women have this sneaky thing up their sleeves?

I do think that there -are- women out there. I don't think that they make up the majority. That, however is not what I'm getting at, and you obviously don't understand.


You want want your sperm to swim up the hill, then bag it so it stays in that little ziplock baggie of a condom. THAT is the brass tacks of it all.

See, based on your line of thinking, I could assume that YOU think that every guy that ends up with an unwanted child didn't use a condom? But I am REALLY trying to give you more credit than that.


You talk about how both parties need to take responsibility when it comes to protection. Yes, that's nothing new. But the question asked was " at the first sign of pregnancy" Translation: ANY SORT OF PRECAUTIONS TAKEN EXCLUDING ABORTION HAS FAILED. So based on the question asked, we are -past- the idea of protecting yourself. How hard is that to grasp?! Did you even bother to process the original question?

Again, the title of this thread is "Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?"

So, lets try this one more time. AFTER a pregnancy, when PRECONCEPTION PROTECTIVE MEASURES HAVE FAILED, a man will run because he doesn't want the responsibilities of parenthood.
 5150Rivergirl
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 117
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 2/22/2012 6:14:04 AM

Yes and if it fails both parties are still responsible. I think that is the point that alludes you.


Exactly

Some just dont grasp that idea. I would really like to give him more credit than that, but, explaining it just 'one more time' he wouldnt understand. Just sayin'....
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 118
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Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 2/22/2012 2:23:36 PM

Yes and if it fails both parties are still responsible. I think that is the point that alludes you.

I understand that you want to shove the idea of responsibility down my throat, but the question of the thread is WHY are these men running? I get your point, I got it long before any of you even made it. You and RiverGirl continue to ignore the very direct question that the OP posted, and I don't understand why. Its a very direct question, and for some reason, neither of you can address it with a direct answer.

"Why [do] men run at the first sign of pregnancy?"

Somehow, you have been translating the question into:
- "how would you judge the men who run after knocking women up?"
- "how can unwanted pregnancy be prevented in the first place?"


So again as the point of this thread you don't want the responsibility don't have SEX

Why don't you look up the statistics on the effectiveness of abstinence-only education...is abstinence 100% effective? Yes, obviously...but like I've said before, having the knowledge and actually applying it are 2 different things. And honestly, how many sexually active people are going to just discontinue having sex for the sake of contraception? Of course, I don't expect you to have an sort of intellectual honesty when answering that question.

Moreover, what -I- gathered from this thread is figuring out WHY men are running (seeing how it was in the title of the thread and all), not how to prevent pregnancy in the first place.

It's really not that hard to stay on track, but you two are hellbent and determined to warp the subject into something that it's not. Honestly, this thread shouldn't have gotten past the first page.
 5150Rivergirl
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 119
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 2/22/2012 2:42:09 PM
yo dude. got the title of the thread. i fail at nothing and still back up my claim. they run because they are not equipped with dealing with their result of being irresponsible in the first place. quit with your weak attempts at sarcasm just because you cant grasp the concept with what others are saying.
 5150Rivergirl
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 120
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 2/22/2012 2:47:06 PM

Really one has to be so arrogant when talking to another they know nothing about.


i find it comical actually.

maybe he does know something about it, he may not have any kids..what was the title of this thread again?? (you get my drift)
 Tealwood
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 121
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 2/26/2012 8:19:38 AM

^^^Hey mcrs84..You tell me who the dummy is in these two scenarios

1. A mother works full-time busts her ass working and commuting 60 hrs a week and makes a modest wage but has no time or energy for her kids as she is on her own.
2. A mother who has figured out how to work part-time pays $0 in daycare and is home to cook dinner and carpool her 4 kids to activities yet still maintains the same lifestyle of the woman described in scenario #1

Now that I have said all that mcrs84...STFU and go back and face the corner I sent you to way back in the first 10 pgs of this thread. Your Mama would be ashamed of you if she could read these posts...tsk tsk...


Users and abusers...versus individuals with self reliance and integrity who once the children are in school also surpass financially the individual sitting at home using and abusing the social programs....and my mama worked full time to contribute to the family financial situation...and then did the driving to support the children's activities...and unlike Lizzies complaint long ago...she did the cooking as opposed to fast food...

But also is it often not suggested that our children emulate the actions and attitudes of us....so the parent who feels entitled to having society pay for her lifestyle choice after...having a child...planned or accidently...versus the child who grows up watching their parents or parent going out to work so they can provide for themselves and their children on their own...with self respect for themselves and their children...

Lizzie....I would take the single parent who has self respect...self reliance and integrity over the parent who has learned how to use the system...and who will probably be indirectly teaching their children the same lack of respect in terms of self reliance.

What really is sad is the complete lack of motivation you seem to radiate and how it will be reflected in your children....just like your posting a few years ago...how the 2 boys moving would rob you and your remaining daughter of the child support you required to allow or enable you to continue working part time and using social programs to facilitate this lifestyle choice.....and how you could not keep your 2,000 sq foot home....I always wondered what you would do ...when the kids moved out when they were old enough...but you answered that...you took in the bf kids...continuing the income production gained from the children.




Back to the topic thread...some men run from pregnancy because they are cowards and lack the moral compass and basic human instincts..sad really.


Some run because they were never part of the decision to have children...some see financially liability and emotional liability ....just go look in the mirror for the answer....


To slam women for been left with little choice but to go to the state is not exactly proving the validity of why men run at first sign of pregnancy.


They have a choice....and they also need to held accountable for those choices....bottom line...you do not as a woman hold other woman accountable...50%....of custodial woman do not work full time....compared to 28% of custodial men who do not work full time....


Is not accepting responsibility


I agree with your premise when you used this comment....a guy who is not there and is not accepting his responsibility....but equally a single parent who does not work and or only works part time and lives off society or lives of social programs designed to assist those who are unable to survive on their own because they are disadvantaged...are equally
Is not accepting responsibility


I easily understand the suggestion of the costs...as the first summer I took in less than what was going out...but then school started and it evened out....and as work continued to grow things became better...where someone who does not work..or only works part time...stays where they are...and I would suggest so does their family and ultimately their children.


•27% of custodial single mothers and their children live in poverty
•12.9% of custodial single fathers and their children live in poverty


The choices or lack of direction and lack of self reliance of the custodial parent has or will affect the child...as the children repeat the actions or directions of the parent.

I worked to support and provide for my children as my ex prefers not to work and has her bf now supporting her....my children are both honour students...they both have high ambitions and want to make something of themselves in life...as an engineering student the one finds herself as one of a handful of woman? Yet they all seem to feel they will have very marketable skills....and work flexibility....and yet....woman are rarely seen.


The women who chose to accept that responsibility often ask for nothing instead they get on with it as we always have.


Sorry....they have their hands out asking and feeling entitled to spousal support...child support and assistance from society or government in social programs. Just look at the percentages of custodial mothers seeking judgments for child support...and compare the numbers of single fathers with custody seeking judgments...but then...we work more than the mothers do?



Now I would never suggest all woman are like this....just a healthy number based on the poverty levels and the government statistics of full time employment...as I know how much it costs to raise children and live in our society...and how does one do it...not working or working part time...or still a student again...other than they feel entitled to living off others...looking for others to provide for them....

So why do some run....because they perhaps understand the perpetuity of what they will be involved in...and the best healthy option is running!

And after 10yrs...I easily stand by the suggestion the job is not that difficult! I did the hours...had time in the evening to get them to the sports....assist in homework...and spend quality time with them on vacations that were possible due to employment....teaching the children the importance or self reliance and independence....and amazingly enough....they still talk...they still want to be around as my eldest was asking about how prenuptials work...as she does not want to be forever financially supporting someone who feels they have a right to having others pay their way or pay for what they are unwilling to provide for themselves....
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 122
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Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 2/26/2012 2:14:34 PM

1. A mother works full-time busts her ass working and commuting 60 hrs a week and makes a modest wage but has no time or energy for her kids as she is on her own.
2. A mother who has figured out how to work part-time pays $0 in daycare and is home to cook dinner and carpool her 4 kids to activities yet still maintains the same lifestyle of the woman described in scenerio #1

All I see in scenario 2 is a person who gave up when the going got tough. It's amazing how single dads manage to make things work. I know it's hard to believe, but when you bust your ass, and you keep lines of communication with your supervisors/managers, you start moving up the pecking order with raises and promotions. All of the parental working women in my immediate family (who managed to hang onto miraculously their husbands after the kids were born) not only have post grad degrees, but are working in well-paying jobs. Would things have been different if they were single mothers? Perhaps, but every last one of them were smart enough to get their undergraduate degrees BEFORE having children. That sort of rational thinking isn't nearly as common anymore.



I suggest you travel to a third world country and steal some food from the starving children...might make you feel more powerful. You can use the government assistance (your tax return) you get every year to fund that trip. While your at it..kick a puppy or two over the next week when your out and about!


Firstly, a tax return isn't government assistance. It the paying back of money they used that was earned. Nice try though. Secondly, perhaps I should just push a pregnant woman down some stairs. I'm sure that will make an unwilling father have a ton of bricks lifted off his shoulders...THEN I will go do my puppy kicking.



Hey CalypsoRach, I appreciate you sticking up to mrcs in reply to his post about me. It is nice to see that there isn't women making automatic judgements about others based on random ramblings from the temper tantrum views some of the men (toddlers) post on this site. Truly, your perspective and attitude is refreshing.
I have been on this site for a few years...and have seen it all. In some ways it has made me a little more determined and alot less bitter in my real life since there are never a short supply of dillholes like mcrs84 to mock.

BIG HUG!!!

Lovin' my haters.
 QueenBeeSweetness
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 123
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 2/27/2012 11:43:33 PM

Secondly, perhaps I should just push a pregnant woman down some stairs. I'm sure that will make an unwilling father have a ton of bricks lifted off his shoulders...


FFS.....really?! You really dont care much for women, do you?
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 124
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Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 2/28/2012 5:01:54 AM

FFS.....really?! You really dont care much for women, do you?

You actually took that comment seriously. FFS....really?!
 ontario_woman
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 125
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Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 2/28/2012 3:23:53 PM

lol Are there any honorable men left?


Fortunately, there are, but reading these forums often make me wonder...
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