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 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 176
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Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?Page 8 of 22    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22)

^^^Hey mcrs84...are you the goose or the gander?...can't figure that one out!

Well, one thing is for sure, and that is that you are most certainly a troll.
 MementoMori32
Joined: 9/12/2011
Msg: 177
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 6/5/2012 1:36:02 AM
I'll go over the most common reasons I've seen.

People are irresponsible. Men like sex. Taking care of babies...not so much. Sad but true. I'd say this is the top reason.

Fear. Most of us men are afraid of commitment. (and have valid reasons to fear it) your woman saying she's pregnant, or even worse, a fwb, can scare the crap outta you.

Games women play. Some women trick us into getting them knocked up. I've had a woman tell me that she thought she was pregnant. Took me by surprise because I was told she was on birth control. She said she "forgot" to take the pill. Lucky for me, she wasn't pregnant.
 justbusiness631
Joined: 3/15/2012
Msg: 178
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 6/5/2012 10:00:04 PM
the reason men run is simple im a man so if u really want to know u can hit me up even though all of you women really already know the answer. read my profile and see the difference between a boy and a man
 justbusiness631
Joined: 3/15/2012
Msg: 179
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 6/5/2012 10:08:27 PM
people who achieve higher levels in life never run from responsibility. we make the best of it and build bosses and leaders of communities , real men , often heroes who lay down their lives for others, great men out of our babies
 Tealwood
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 180
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 6/6/2012 3:57:57 PM

the reason men run is simple im a man so if u really want to know u can hit me up even though all of you women really already know the answer. read my profile and see the difference between a boy and a man

people who achieve higher levels in life never run from responsibility. we make the best of it and build bosses and leaders of communities , real men , often heroes who lay down their lives for others, great men out of our babies


Because some made a choice to run probably more from the mother than from the child....others choose to live up to their obligations and or responsibilities...nothing special...and nothing to rationalize or suggest you are a hero!

I would suggest you also learn or define the differences between a bragard and a humble individual. I have walked the walk in respect to parenting over 10yrs...not a hero....just doing what was my responsiblity...responsiblity is doing what you are expected to do....and doing or following through on your responsibilities is not hero worthy in most people's book.

But then some perhaps have a low expectation of what is required to be a parent or what is required to be a responsible individual in society today?
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 181
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 6/6/2012 6:22:41 PM
mrcs84.. I would say the exact same thing about a women running away from her child as I would a man running away.

Oh so now it's ok that that the man left? Yet still you bad mouth the single mother who stuck around to raise the child? $hit happens. Yea some women get pregnant rather soon, most don't. Most think they will be with the guy forever. I was engaged to mine after 4 years of being together. He talked me out of abortion, then he vanished.. Am I still the bad guy? Of course! cause I'm the parent that stuck around and raised the child. You don't know the story behind the single parent. You don't have to date us, but you shouldn't judge us. MOST times it's the men who put the pressure on for sex sooner then later, especially in the younger generations.

Why do men run? They are afraid? They aren't ready to grow up? They are cowards? They are irresponsible? they aren't attracted to their pregnant girlfriend? They don't like the decrease in sex due to pregnancy issues? Their friends tell them their life is over?

I don't know.. take your pick. Either way it's them, the one who leaves, who perpetuate the single parent phenomena more-so then the one who sticks around. Get it through your head and realize that we do our best by ourselves. We don't need your thanks or your approval, but it would be nice to stop the snide remarks and comments.
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 182
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 6/6/2012 7:14:24 PM
Here's an idea for ya.. wrap it up.. even if she's on the pill. Don't like it? Too bad! You don't wrap it up, you take the risk of becoming a father, like it or not. she gets pregnant and you didn't wrap it or you did and it failed.. to bad.. you don't want to risk being a dad? don't have sex.

there's your choice.

if it's good enough reason for us ladies, then it's good enough for you men. Don't like it? then think of something different to say.
 smilingrock
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 183
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 6/6/2012 7:31:11 PM
Im all for planned parenthood
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 184
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Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 6/6/2012 8:49:02 PM

I would say the exact same thing about a women running away from her child as I would a man running away.


Perhaps you would, personally, but the masses seems to give women more slack than men in pretty much....every aspect of anything that has to do with the family structure.


Oh so now it's ok that that the man left?

It should be just as "ok" as if the woman decided that she was going to abort/adopt out/abandon her child, but it's not.


MOST times it's the men who put the pressure on for sex sooner then later, especially in the younger generations.

Yes, and MOST times it's women who pressure for starting a family sooner t-h-a-n later.



Yea some women get pregnant rather soon, most don't.

You know, this actually -has- been steadily on the decline. Now it's "only" 750,000 teen pregnancies a year in the U.S. (so about 15,000 per state). We're still reigning champions for most teen pregnancies when looking at developed countries.

http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/FB-ATSRH.html



Random side note: it's amazing how porn stars have as much unprotected sex as they do, and you don't see such ridiculous problems with pregnancy. Oh wait...weren't you saying something about snide remarks? Lolz
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 185
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 6/7/2012 3:32:54 PM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
the masses seems to give women more slack than men in pretty much....every aspect of anything that has to do with the family structure.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Really??? I don't see it..A man is a rock star by simple virtue of sticking around to raise his kids.. a women is just expected to and then to provide all the things for said child that should be provided by two parents all by herself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It should be just as "ok" as if the woman decided that she was going to abort/adopt out/abandon her child, but it's not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What? this doesn't' make sense.. there are so many reason why a woman would choose not to do this. and personally I would never go ahead with it without the mans total agreeably to it. It's his child also. If BOTH parent's want it it's cool, if both don't then both need to deal with that and move on with plans for the baby.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yes, and MOST times it's women who pressure for starting a family sooner t-h-a-n later.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Really? All these young mothers who got pregnant when they were 20.. show of hands. how many of you wanted to start a family right then? yea. .most of us didn't. Funny.. how it's all good and cool as long as Aunt flo shows up.. as soon as she doesn't.. it's all the woman fault because she doesn't believe in abortion or can't live with going through with it. Then suddenly it's entrapment, because the man didn't take precautions either.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random side note: it's amazing how porn stars have as much unprotected sex as they do, and you don't see such ridiculous problems with pregnancy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I bet most of them use birth control.. just invisible ones that you can't see on camera..
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 186
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 6/7/2012 3:45:36 PM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
not that everyone in here really needs to know this, but I'd rather masturbate, the wrap it up.

Because I can't feel anything when wrapped. So there is no point in even having sex then.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well then it's settled.. to avoid unwanted children you won't have sex..


What I meant was say something other then "well if you didn't want to get pregnant you shouldn't have had sex or you should have used better protection" If it's not good enough for you, then it's not good enough a reason for us.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BTW, maybe you don't know this, but condoms were not invented to prevent pregnancy. They were invented to slow/stop the transfer of STDs. Because of that, Birth control is way higher effectiveness then a condom. I think a condoms reliability is around 90% effective, where as birth control is 99.9%
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yes.. i did know this.. but did you know that is also stops the transfers of sperm into the female so therefore if it blocks the disease properly it blocks the pregnancy. Did you know that the reason a condom fails is usually because it was used improperly or was too old to be effective? Also.. there is no published effective rate for condoms but if you need numbers I'd put it between 85-99%. Basically, they work every time when used properly, the problem is men don't know how to use them, so stuff happens.

Birth control? As in the pill? Yea effective if you never get sick and require meds, never forget one and take it consistently at the same time every day. You also have to wait a month before having sex for them to work properly. So no.. I'd argue it's less effective to use that method because you don't really know if it's working or not. Internal birth control can fall out or be inserted improperly, the shot causes more negative side effects then positive... I could go on and on.. So see I can avoid my responsibility in this issue just as well as you can.. the difference is I don't avoid it. I just handle it.
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 187
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 6/7/2012 6:16:24 PM
So a relationship is only exciting if there is sex involved? Wow.. glad I manage to find good men who actually like me regardless of if there is sex involved or not. I'm just way to picky. lol
 smilingrock
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 188
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 6/7/2012 6:25:28 PM
Confuzzled4ever

You have been battling men on here that do not favor single moms forever. Time to move on with the gents that dont mind a ready made family and have a good time. You cant convince someone with a different perspective to see your way.

Each of us has our own life and preference on how to live it....
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 189
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 6/7/2012 8:29:45 PM
Haha. that's true.

I personally don't really have an issue when it comes to dating.. I'm just really picky.

Plus.. Weeknights are rather boring at the homestead..most of the posters make me laugh with their tunnel vision. lol
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 190
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Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 6/8/2012 9:31:08 AM
Really??? I don't see it

Spend a day in family court. Also "deadbeat mom" and "irresponsible mom" are not terms that have caught on yet. Moms get psychiatric help if they abuse/kill their kids while dads get thrown in prison. Mom's win custody battles the supermajority of the time (like I said...-battle- not just dad deciding to bail). The list goes on, but you have obviously decided to ignore the facts.


What? this doesn't' make sense.. there are so many reason why a woman would choose not to do this.

It make perfect sense. But you seem to need a little more help understanding than most. having a reason not to chose to is moot. The fact of the matter is, that there are millions of women who DO make that choice, and their choices aren't subject to the same scrutiny as their male counterparts.


If BOTH parent's want it it's cool, if both don't then both need to deal with that and move on with plans for the baby.

If dad want's the kid and mom doesn't there will be no kid.
If dad doesn't want the kid and mom does, there will be a kid.

If you want to ignore that, then that's your prerogative.


I bet most of them use birth control.. just invisible ones that you can't see on camera..

HD viewing would pick up on any "invisible" stuff. I'm sure if it was -hidden-, it would be a different case. Regardless, I'm sure their birth control is the exact same stuff that your average joes and janes use. And yet I keep hearing all of these stories of failed contraception. I kind of wonder about the competence of these people.

You know, people love to use phrases like "you knew the risks," and "accidents happen." I had my share of sex and sexual partners, and yet I don't have any children. If someone isn't competent enough to perform a simple task of using contraception properly, how is it that you think they -are- competent enough to raise children? The idiocracy is spreading.
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 191
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 6/8/2012 3:42:39 PM
For every single mother there is a single father.. arguably there are more single fathers in existence then mothers since there are women with babies from different men.. They just don't step up. So yea.. if there is a baby involved there is someone who is the dad somewhere out there..

So what's your point?

I don't have tunnel vision. I never said anywhere that someone is a bad person for not wanting to date someone, nor did I ever say everyone should do what I do, or be a certain way. I understand totally that someone doesn't want to date a single parent. that's cool with me. What I don't tolerate is being berated for it and told that the non-custodial parent has no responsibility for the child. You don't want to date a parent then don't, but most of us are not "insert sterotype here" .

if you're referring to my stance that fathers(or non-custodial parents) bear a responsibility toward the child they participated in creating then yes.. I have tunnel vision. I think the ONLY scenario I wouldn't feel this way is in the instance of a literal sperm donor, meaning a women went to a sperm bank or had a friend donate sperm to impregnate her through invetro. (which I know 2 women who did and they don't chase the father, 1 knows the guy another went to a bank)..

You said no sex would be boring and you are the one who would choose no sex over using protection, so I don't see how that was jumping to conclusions.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The fact of the matter is, that there are millions of women who DO make that choice, and their choices aren't subject to the same scrutiny as their male counterparts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Really? have you read the forums? Have you lived through it? I know women who were disowned by family and friends for having an abortion or going through with adoption or they never forgave themselves. Sure some women can get over it, others can't. I also know 2 women who are barren because they had an abortion at a young age and it scarred them for life, one had to have a hysterectomy because of complications. And yes they went to real certified abortion clinics. That is what you are asking the women to risk all because you are too irresponsible to deal with the consequences of your actions. Keep the baby.. and well you know how much everything you do is scrutinized..all you need to do is read your own posts.

Also.. abortions.. adoptions.. they aren't free.. I know men who are pissed the woman had the baby but refused to help pay for the abortion.. so guess who's a daddy? Yea.. it's cheaper then having the child.. but if you don't have it. you don't have it.

The parent who left is the problem. If society wasn't so accepting of them bailing perhaps it wouldn't be so prevalent?? Sure there would still be some single parents and sure there would still be some living in poverty, but with 2 incomes.. it would be less of a "social problem". Dontcha think?
 QueenBeeSweetness
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 192
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 6/8/2012 3:57:57 PM
Not all kids are birth control failures, it took fertility treatment to concieve my youngest.
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 193
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Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 6/8/2012 5:43:07 PM
Not all kids are birth control failures, it took fertility treatment to conceive my youngest.

I find it unlikely that a man would run at the first sign of a planned pregnancy. That is, unless he wasn't included in the planning process. And if he -did- run, my guess is that he was running from mom, and not the child.


They just don't step up.

And for some reason these mothers thought that these men were father material.


I think the ONLY scenario I wouldn't feel this way is in the instance of a literal sperm donor

If that's the only scenario, I guess you're an advocate of staying in an abusive relationship for the sake of maintaining the family structure. Have fun with that.


Really? have you read the forums?

The forums are a drop in the bucket. I'm pretty sure something like 2% of POF users actually post in the forums.


Have you lived through it?

Moot


I know women who were disowned by family and friends for having an abortion or going through with adoption or they never forgave themselves.

I know women who were praised by their choice and feel good about the fact that they were able to have a children on THEIR terms, not overburden themselves with child rearing responsibilities while trying to work and go to school, and got their careers established and got their debt taken care of before deciding to procreate. I would say "it's not that hard," but it only seems like just in recent years that people are catching on.

So for every horror story you have, there is a success story.



Also.. abortions.. adoptions.. they aren't free..

First of all, putting your child up for adoption IS free. Second of all, even if it wasn't it would still be cheaper than raising a child. Abortion costs somewhere between $300 and $600 How long do you think you could raise a kid on $600? 3 months? That just leaves another 17 years and 9 months to go. Good luck.


If society wasn't so accepting of them bailing perhaps it wouldn't be so prevalent??

Society ISN'T accepting. But how much funding are you going to invest in hunting down a deadbeat loser? And then what? Child support is already in place, most men pay it, some don't. Additionally, looking at the percentages (not just the numbers) men do a significantly better job of paying child support than women. Throw him in jail? What's that going to do to for the best interests of the child? Force him to work if they aren't? Good luck with that. Put him on display in some public arena? Look at Maury...how many of those people are actually remembered after everything is said and done? If you have a solution that will accomplish something, I'd like to hear it.


Here's an idea. How about making child support 100% voluntary for the noncustodial parent? Or something else that offsets the status quo for women. After all, women are the ones that have the power to determine whether a pregnancy reaches full term or not. The burden should be on them.

Or, here's a better idea. Make sure that you know that you and your partner want kids WITH EACH OTHER. And do it during a time when BOTH of you are physically/emotionally/spiritually/financially etc. ready to have children. I know it's possible because I see it all the time, and the relationships actually last.

And like I said, if you have some kind of a solution, I'd like to hear it.


but with 2 incomes.. it would be less of a "social problem". Dontcha think?

You know what is an easier route? Waiting to get all your ducks in a row before procreating. I look at my circle of friends, and the mass majority of them who have kids managed to do it AFTER they got their lives established. It's not hard. In fact, doing it that way is significantly easier than trying to juggle a life of child rearing, work, and school. I know that if I had a kid, I wouldn't have been able to take 22 credit hours, work 30 hours, AND maintain a decent social life during my senior year in college.
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 194
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 6/8/2012 9:37:51 PM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I find it unlikely that a man would run at the first sign of a planned pregnancy. That is, unless he wasn't included in the planning process. And if he -did- run, my guess is that he was running from mom, and not the child.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The women they though were great mother material???
Sooo.. when he also stopped taking care of the child.. then what?? It's still ok that the man left? After all.. it he didn't carry the baby for 9 months.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And for some reason these mothers thought that these men were father material.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well.. when they're telling you what a cute baby you're both gonna have and how he's make a great father and you'd make a great mother.. and he's talking about all the things that are gonna be right... not only that.. they are treating you great and you are in love and he's talking about your future together.. he opens car doors, treats his mother well and everything.. yea.. i can't see how we didn't see through it..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If that's the only scenario, I guess you're an advocate of staying in an abusive relationship for the sake of maintaining the family structure. Have fun with that.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

did I say that? no, not one, anywhere. however the man should still support his child. I don't think people need to stay together to successfully raise a child. I think it's better when they do, but obviously there are reasons people don't.

Abortions can cost up to 1,000 dollars. Many women don't find out until second trimester, then it also becomes a moral and ethical issue. Yea.. the adoptions don't cost anything..except whatever you need while pregnant if you don't find an adoptive parent to pay for it and all the emotional grief that follows and any complications that arise because of the pregnancy...

Society isn't accepting of it? Well since what you are advocating and what many others on here advocate is the exact opposite of that.. i'd question you. Maybe if people like you would stop making excuses for them bailing and start holding them accountable less men would abandon their kids. Perhaps if my sons father's friends had told him what a scum he was being, he may have changed his attitude.. instead they encouraged him to leave is and pay not attention. and yep i know it's true because I used to read his email.

My solution? My only solution, which is more then you are offering, is for men to take an active role in preventing the pregnancy in the first place, by either not having sex, or wrapping it up even if the woman is on something. If a pregnancy does occur, that the man grows up with and takes care of the child. If it's what the women should do, then it's what the men should do. Everyone is all for equality right? Well there you go. Equality.

Oh and nope.. I actually asked the child support officer to not put my sons father in jail.. because it does nothing for either of us.. they did anyway. But.. i was wrong.. he hated it in there.. and when they tell him he's headed there, i get a check. amazing how that threat works. Yes.. force him to work. If I could snap my fingers i'd make that happen. I think that's a great idea.. you with your child free life and all your brains can come up with the plan.. I have to take care of my son..

Great idea.. everyone should have all their ducks in a row before procreating! I like it! Of course that means the man needs to take an active role in preventing unwanted pregnancy. Funny how a man wont' wear a condom because "it doesn't feel as good" then when the girl gets pregnant it's all her fault. Funny how that works huh. When used properly they are just as effective as any other method out there, and you can avoid being "trapped" by a women who messes up with her birth control..

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I know that if I had a kid, I wouldn't have been able to take 22 credit hours, work 30 hours, AND maintain a decent social life during my senior year in college.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why not? I did. Oh wait.. I worked more then that a week.. and did all the above.. so now.. i guess i didn't do what you did..
 mtluggage
Joined: 5/30/2012
Msg: 195
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 6/8/2012 9:54:35 PM
Women can have abortions and men can never "truly" run away. If you think about this, women are the only ones who can terminate their responsibility. Men can't terminate their responsibility they can only hide from it and hope they never get caught.
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 196
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 6/8/2012 10:10:50 PM
As another poster so eloquently put it.. abortion is not an answer.. these issues need to be dealt with prior to getting pregnant and preferably prior to having sex.

I don't want anymore babies right now.. guess what I don't have. And i'm extremely selective of the men who are privileged enough for me to take that kind of risk with. The men I do are also pretty selective with who they are going to risk it with. I wouldn't be with them otherwise. There are other things to consider too. If you don't want a baby, do your part in preventing it. If it happens anyway.. then you just have to deal with that and step up. Just like the ladies do.

Oh.. and men can run away.. mine did.. for 8 years he was vanished, gone.. not a whisper.. he only resurfaced when other things forced him to in his own life.
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 197
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History
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 6/9/2012 12:16:37 AM

The women they though were great mother material???

More along the lines of "she's a great mother, but we don't get along with each other."



Sooo.. when he also stopped taking care of the child.. then what??

THEN you're not talking about "running at the first sign of pregnancy," which has no bearing on this discussion. Nice try though.




Why not? I did. Oh wait.. I worked more then that a week.. and did all the above

I'm so sure you did . Alluding more to my point, I'm sure your accomplishment would have been significantly easier if you didn't have a kid when you did it. The dropout rate in college is pretty ridiculous (44%). The less distractions/responsibilities you have, the easier the process is. If the kid is already here, fine. Make lemonade. If the kid isn't here, get your ducks in a row first.




did I say that? no, not one, anywhere.

You obviously don't know what you're saying when you say what you say. You said "I think the ONLY scenario I wouldn't feel this way is in the instance of a literal sperm donor." If that is the ONLY scenario, that means that you're ruling out all the other scenarios (you know, like an abusive relationship).




Well.. when they're telling you what a cute baby you're both gonna have and how he's make a great father and you'd make a great mother.. and he's talking about all the things that are gonna be right... not only that.. they are treating you great and you are in love and he's talking about your future together.. he opens car doors, treats his mother well and everything.. yea.. i can't see how we didn't see through it..

Uh huh...

I wonder how many of the women that these men were swooning actually asked the direct question of "do you think we are ready to have a child yet?" vs them just assuming that all the implied signals were good enough to make an executive decision.




Abortions can cost up to 1,000 dollars.

http://www.abort73.com/abortion_facts/us_abortion_statistics/

Average cost as of 2009 was $451. Even if it were to cost $5000, it would still be substantially cheaper than the cost to raise your average child for 18 years.



Yea.. the adoptions don't cost anything..except whatever you need while pregnant

Still substantially cheaper than the 18 years of child rearing.



Many women don't find out until second trimester, then it also becomes a moral and ethical issue.

Seeing how that issue is subjective, it's rather moot. Some women don't handle it so well, others handle it just fine.



if you don't find an adoptive parent to pay for it and

Hospital/Fire Station. Herp Derp



Well since what you are advocating and what many others on here advocate is the exact opposite of that..

I'm not the spokesperson for the masses, I'm flattered that you're trying to appoint me, though.



is for men to take an active role in preventing the pregnancy in the first place, by either not having sex, or wrapping it up even if the woman is on something.

I've done my part. YAY!!!
BTW, abstinence-only education is pretty stupid because once people finally -are- ready to start having sex, they are unaware of what risks there are. I mean, I've seen some very interesting questions that people have asked about sex such as, "if a woman is pregnant with a female, and she has unprotected sex, can the fetus get pregnant?"




Oh and nope.. I actually asked the child support officer to not put my sons father in jail.. because it does nothing for either of us.. they did anyway. But.. i was wrong.. he hated it in there.. and when they tell him he's headed there, i get a check. amazing how that threat works.

Your one scenario doesn't represent the overall trend. Thanks though.




Yes.. force him to work. If I could snap my fingers i'd make that happen.

If you could. But you cant, which was the point I was making.



you with your child free life and all your brains can come up with the plan

Why would I spend my hours upon hours of my free time doing something(s) that I don't want to do? Besides you're the do-it-all have-it-all mother. You do it. Lolz



Funny how a man wont' wear a condom because "it doesn't feel as good" then when the girl gets pregnant it's all her fault.

It's even funnier how a guy will refuse to wear a condom because "it doesn't feel good" and the girl will just say "that's ok, stick it in." The guy doesn't have to deal with all the physical/emotional aspects (up to and including her own death). The guy has a significantly easier time hiding the fact that he's got an illegitimate child floating around somewhere. The guy has much less at stake. How hard is it for a woman to say, "put on a condom or get out?"
 QueenBeeSweetness
Joined: 9/23/2011
Msg: 198
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 6/9/2012 8:07:41 AM
So if men should be able to run off on the children, where does that leave the child?

These are human beings, not puppies that you toss out when they become too much work.

Have you ever experienced the love & joy of a child? You make it sound like they are nothing................something you can just abort, give away, or toss to the sude.
 Confuzzled4ever
Joined: 6/9/2005
Msg: 199
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 6/9/2012 11:17:25 AM
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I'm so sure you did . Alluding more to my point, I'm sure your accomplishment would have been significantly easier if you didn't have a kid when you did it.
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Your ASSumption is wrong once again.. I was failing out of college prior to becoming a mommy.. nice try tho. Also had the crappiest friends imaginable prior to becoming a mommy, so my social life improved drastically with the departure of the fake ones. and I had to work, to pay for me and my son and all the bills with it.. so I did.. 2 and 3 jobs usually, which was a lot more then I did prior to becoming a mommy. You don't have to believe me.. but you have no basis not to either.
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You obviously don't know what you're saying when you say what you say. You said "I think the ONLY scenario I wouldn't feel this way is in the instance of a literal sperm donor." If that is the ONLY scenario, that means that you're ruling out all the other scenarios (you know, like an abusive relationship)
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Well since I was talking specifically about taking care of a child, not the status of a relationship between mommy and daddy.. your comment is way off point.


So now what.. kids are just disposable things? Get rid of them like you get rid of the trash in your home? I wonder what you would do if faced with an unwanted pregnancy? How many men have asked the question are you ready to be a parent before having sex without protection? I agree, women shouldn't allow men to stick it in without a condom, but it's a bad decision on BOTH their parts and BOTH of them need to deal with the consequences of that decision. I have never said it's all the men fault, nor have i placed all the blame on women. It takes two to tango.. which makes both responsible. It's like robbing a bank, if it was your idea and I go along with it. .I'm still punished to the full extent of the law am I not? I can't say well it was his choice to go through with it or not.. I was just along for the thrill of it! It doesn't fly. Is that very different, yes. but the point is the same.

Yep.. "abstinence only" ideals are foolhardy, because it doesn't teach what to do if you do have sex. We agree on something. BUT when you are educated about sex and know the things you need to know and still CHOOSE not to implement them, then you either practice abstinence or deal with the consequences of that choice. What's so hard to understand? Do I need to dumb it down even more for you??

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you're the do-it-all have-it-all mother
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Thanks! A compliment in the midst of all the degrading posts. I'm shocked.

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The guy doesn't have to deal with all the physical/emotional aspects (up to and including her own death). The guy has a significantly easier time hiding the fact that he's got an illegitimate child floating around somewhere. The guy has much less at stake. How hard is it for a woman to say, "put on a condom or get out?
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This is your argument on why a man shouldn't be held responsible?? You advocate taking all the responsibility off the man and making it all the woman responsibility? Why because he is a man and this is what they do? Is it because the women forced him to have unprotected sex with her?

It scares me just how much this new generation isn't expected to be responsible for their actions. "It's McDonalds fault I'm fat""It's the DOT fault I crashed my car after going over a pothole""It's the woman fault I didn't wrap it up" It's all bullshit and it's very scary.
 Tealwood
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 200
Why men run at the first sign of pregnancy?
Posted: 6/9/2012 6:23:11 PM

It scares me just how much this new generation isn't expected to be responsible for their actions


yet you had children....you are unable to financially support them without assistance from someone else...you need someone else to subsidize your lifestyle that you are unable to provide yourself and your child alone....I never have read where you have accepted responsiblity for where you are...or where you are not today....

You are responsible for where you are...or where you have not reached!


I can pay my own bills and do what I want to financially.

I worked full-time then and I made a decent paycheck.. it just didn't cover the cost of living and there was no time to work a 2nd job, oh and just to ease your mind I didn't have help from any source.


??? So you earn your own keep and pay your own bills....or you are unable to cover the cost of living...you sound like Lizzie...where the barometer changes depending on the story you wish to weave!


I learned long ago.. there is a balance. I'm independent, can take care of myself and my son. i want a man


You want a man...and a single mother with a child you say you do not cover the cost of living...so News flash...if you are unable to cover the cost of living...who do you expect to pay your way in life?


sigh. it goes without saying


It does go without saying...some idiot will be paying what you admit you are unable to pay......


I should start my own thread.. why aren't there any tall single dads? They are all short and have kids who take up their time. boo hoo. (bad sarcasm i know..but the point is made I think)


You should feel free to start your own thread.....and as only 6' feet tall.....not tall enough...as a single custodial father for over 10yrs....I also would not date anyone who suggests they are financially incapable of paying their own way in life...which you have many times...

I made mistakes in my marriage...I have a level of responsiblity in what went wrong....and I am very happy where things are today...but then unlike yourself...I have a measure of self sufficiency and do not have a need to blame others for where I am not today. The only one I can lay that blame on is myself.
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