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 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 24
How far are you willing to go on a date?Page 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

I'd go half way around the world to meet the world's most perfect woman for me.

The problem is, you can't know if they're perfect for you thru an LD relationship. Not just "why would a woman want me so much if she's so far away? WTF does she know?" but also to yourself. Perfect looks? Okay... perfect surface-persona? Check. Which can be a lot, don't get me wrong... and can be enough for an LD relationship which is a different situation altogether -- but perfect match meaning also perfect for a normalized relationship? Can't know that until you've already spent time with someone frequently for some time.

LD Relationships don't work, because many times, they're pen-pal "relationships" + occasionally meeting. It's a sad sad road to go down to when it comes to meeting someone new. Much like when you see a nice looking person go out with a porker. Assuming one doesn't live hours away from a city (but one should move if they've gotten older and never had any luck), it's an indicator of lack of self-esteem/giving-up and/or difficult to get along with and problems of their own and what they demand... or just not care about the opposite sex and such a "relationship" would just be a FWB and not an actual "relationship".

When it comes to picking up a girl or guy and getting things started on a good wavelength, timing and many easily-changeable things are key... when it comes to a relationship, situation is key. Much too often, people would practically DIE to have that "early phase" going with someone great, and take what they can get, even though it going further beyond that (ie relationship) is doomed.
 Schr√∂dingers_Dog
Joined: 11/17/2009
Msg: 25
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How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 12/15/2011 10:09:04 AM
Simple answer: a half-hour if it looks like we've got tons in common. For "who knows" kind of dates, less.
 JCinVicBC
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 26
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How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 12/16/2011 4:18:56 AM
Depends how advanced the relationship is. I'm looking for someone in the city, but I live in a rural area about a 45 minute drive from downtown. So for a first meet or first date, or early in a relationship, about that (except I can't drive, so it'd be more like 1-1.5 hours on the bus). But if we've been dating a while, and it's really going well, I could certainly see us going on a 2 or 3 week date somewhere in Asia or Europe, though she'd likely have to pay for most of it.
 hockeyfan006
Joined: 10/7/2011
Msg: 27
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How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 12/16/2011 8:33:59 AM
honestly i would go as far as it took as long as the person was someone i really thought we could make things work


so far 863 miles one way
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 28
How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 12/16/2011 9:39:51 AM

Distance shouldn't be a problem if it's "the one".

To that I say, if he's the one - he won't be a great distance from me.

But if we've been dating a while, and it's really going well, I could certainly see us going on a 2 or 3 week date somewhere in Asia or Europe, though she'd likely have to pay for most of it.

Hoping this one is a joke. Maybe I need more detail to understand it.
 _allen_
Joined: 6/14/2009
Msg: 29
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How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 12/16/2011 10:14:21 AM
First meet? No more than a 20 minute commute. (I live in an incredibly large city. 4th largest city in the country, not including it's suburbs)
 matchlight
Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 30
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How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 12/16/2011 3:17:03 PM
I certainly wouldn't mind at all driving two or three hours on a Friday evening to see someone for a weekend, if we were really into each other. And you can take turns, so one of you isn't doing all the work. But it's not so easy to get into that position in the first place, because you'd be driving a long ways just for a first meet. That sometimes presents problems.

If I invite a girl to get together, I expect to do most of the driving, and sometimes it's quite a ways. I don't feel entitled to anything, but I can't say it wouldn't give me a good feeling if just once, she offered to buy my drink in return. Unfortunately, there have been times when I got the impression the girl thought she was doing me a favor by just showing up. Then it's disappointing to have wasted the time and gas, but that's how it is.
 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 31
How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 12/16/2011 3:31:26 PM

How far are you willing to go on a date?

Hmmmmm.
Depends on how long we've known each other.
I'm betting we'd eventually go all the way.
 JCinVicBC
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 32
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How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 12/17/2011 4:45:57 AM

Hoping this one is a joke. Maybe I need more detail to understand it.


More or less, yes. I wouldn't ask or expect a woman to do that (but if she wanted to take me along on a trip, I'd be delighted to accompany her--thus, in that sense it's not a joke, I would travel 10000 miles or more on a date). But I only make $900 a month, so airfare (for 1 even, let alone 2) to most places in the world is kinda out of my reach, at least without some major sacrifices.

It's also a joke in reference to women who put as their first date preference on their profile, something along the lines of "breakfast in Milan, dinner in Paris". Sounds good to me.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 33
How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 2/15/2012 3:26:02 PM

My attitude is very can do but I made the mistake of mentioning my family was in the area that my date lived and she resented that I wasn't there specifically for her.

Interesting. I won't agree to a meet with a guy from another area unless one of us IS in the other's area for some other reason. Who wants to HAVE to entertain someone you don't know the whole time they are there?

If I've never met you, there's no way I'm planning to hang out that long with you in your area or mine.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 34
How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 2/15/2012 3:27:48 PM

My attitude is very can do but I made the mistake of mentioning my family was in the area that my date lived and she resented that I wasn't there specifically for her.

Interesting. I won't agree to a meet with a guy from another area unless one of us IS in the other's area for some other reason. Who wants to HAVE to entertain someone you don't know the whole time they are there?

If I've never met you, there's no way I'm planning to hang out that long with you in your area or mine.

Also, of course there's no chance we're going to actually date either if we live that far apart, so it can't be with that intention in mind.
 seventiesbaby2
Joined: 2/9/2012
Msg: 35
How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 2/15/2012 4:50:59 PM
I agree.. I have had a few long term relationships with men and I seem to only attract men who live far away. NO one near me ever has contacted me. Therefore i seem to have no choice. I have had men drive 6 hours every weekend for months to see me. I have had a guy from chicago fly to see me every other weekend or so for 3 yrs. I have had other men drive 3-6 hours to date me also. I have not driven to see them they have come to see me. I think its crazy but they all have happily done it. I wish i could meet someone locally but it doeant happen. These relationships can work and can be wonderful.. mine were. If it works one person has to move which was no problem with the men i dated one lived with me for over 5 yrs
 nubeginnings64
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 36
How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 4/23/2012 8:04:36 AM
I'm in NW NJ & she was in Queens NY by JFK airport. The drive, tolls & expense of a motel, she lived with relatives, sucked. She also had a young son which made staying in NJ with me on weekends, being I own my home, not practical. I ended it after about 5 months.

I'd prefer within 10 miles but that's unrealistic & go by my work commute of 45 miles.
 GoldinSFla
Joined: 10/21/2011
Msg: 37
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How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 4/23/2012 9:29:32 AM
When I first read the message title, I thought the OP meant something entirely different and I also thought it said "How far are you willing to go on a FIRST date? I was about to type "If there's chemistry, Ill kiss on the lips, but no tongue". :-)

But to answer the original question. I don't know if anything is set in stone as far as how far I'll travel. I know I'm not interested in being in a long distance relationship, been there, done that, got the T shirt. It seems romantic at first, but eventually it gets frustrating and it almost never works out. So I wouldn't travel far enough to require the purchase of an airline ticket or an overnight stay.

Other than that, I think I'm pretty open , depending on how interested I am in the guy. I think I could probably travel 50 miles or even more if I think he's the right one. I certainly wouldn't want to miss out on the potential love of my life simply because it costs too much in gas money to see him. However, regardless of how far he lives, I'd expect him to at least meet me half way. I of course will do the same, but if he's the type of guy that says "I'll drive down to where you are..." he already has scored points with me.
 somewhatJaded1
Joined: 3/31/2012
Msg: 39
How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 4/23/2012 11:46:44 AM
I have had a few LDRs,never again! I try to date someone within 20 miles.
 vanityfair55
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 42
How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 7/1/2012 6:51:06 AM
15 miles,I've done the long distance relationship and just didn't work for me.
 Luckyq3
Joined: 6/16/2012
Msg: 43
How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 7/1/2012 7:10:02 AM
Hour drive if she is really cute, somehow I have always dated people 30 minutes away... got to have a buffer zone...
 vestaceres
Joined: 6/13/2012
Msg: 44
How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 7/1/2012 7:47:14 AM
Over 14,000 miles - the long way. I married him a couple of months later. :)
 vestaceres
Joined: 6/13/2012
Msg: 45
How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 7/1/2012 7:47:40 AM
Over 14,000 miles - the long way. I married him a couple of months later. :)
 Extollere
Joined: 2/21/2012
Msg: 47
How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 7/1/2012 9:08:39 AM
No limit. My dates have been pretty local lately, but distance has never been an issue for me.

10,383 miles (give or take) was my longest distance traveled to a date. No car involved, though according to Google Maps I could have driven, if only I had been willing to "Kayak across the Pacific Ocean" a total of three times.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 48
How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 7/1/2012 3:24:09 PM
vestaceres,
Over 14,000 miles - the long way. I married him a couple of months later. :)


Since the circumference of the earth at the equator is 24,901.55 miles, you must have not flown a very direct route, which I guess is what you meant by the long way? Where were you living and where was he?

FWIW, the opposite point on the globe, which is called the antipode, of any point in the lower 48 states is in the Indian Ocean.

Just curious, since I have dated 3 women in asia, that was about 8,600 miles and takes ~17 hours of continious flying. The lady in Hong Kong for a "second" date flew from Hong Kong to see me in Chicago.

Calling it a date isn't quite right, I would call it a romantic interlude.

Interesting that several others have also gone a long distance.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 49
How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 7/3/2012 12:58:48 PM

Just curious, since I have dated 3 women in asia, that was about 8,600 miles and takes ~17 hours of continious flying.

That's insanely long! Is it really that necessary? Even if one has 'a thing' for Asian women, one would think within the midwest as a whole, one could find one, but I digress...

Overall, I think there's a gray area, but there's a distance relationship, and a long-distance relationship. Distance is about an hour drive away, and long-distance is around 2+ hours of a drive. But if it's just a date and not a relationship, then I would say sure, but he/she'd have to be one hell of a catch! Maybe go as far distance as how far out of your league they are?
 FairlyAlright
Joined: 9/26/2011
Msg: 50
How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 7/3/2012 1:17:29 PM
About 50 miles (about an hour of travel).
Lasted 2.5 years.
We mixed up the driving, but I think I traveled about 75% of the time.

Currently I'm trying to stay under 25 miles, but would have no trouble traveling for the right person.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 51
How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 7/3/2012 1:23:50 PM
I am willing to go 13.1 miles. Maybe once a year I will go the 26.2 miles.
 smilingrock
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 53
How far are you willing to go on a date?
Posted: 7/3/2012 1:36:47 PM
Half hour tops - anything longer is not worth the effert no matter how it looks and what it can do...
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