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 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 66
too much in debt?Page 2 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Everyone has some kind of debt. As long as you pay your bills and statements and pay them on time. The companies you owe money to are not going to have problems with ya. As for credit cards. As long as you pay more than " Minimum Payment " and pay them on time too, stop the crazy spending on the credit cards. You'll pay it off much faster and the creditors will back off more because they will see you not using your credit card and seeing you take control of your credit card paying it off and cut ya some slack.

Anyone that has no debt at all must really have an easy ass life living in a tent or a trailer.
 Pasionlatina529
Joined: 8/5/2011
Msg: 67
too much in debt?
Posted: 8/29/2011 7:05:13 PM
EVERYONE has debt!!! The question more likely to be asked is...does she own up to her responsibilities??? Is she a spendthrift or are those debts legit?? A house is a legitimate debt since she is living in it and so will you but if her other debt is credit card and is spend on stupid stuff...she may not be a responsible person. Does she pay on time? Or she a deadbeat?? IF she's a deadbeat I wouldn't want to be a part of that at all..
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 70
view profile
History
too much in debt?
Posted: 8/30/2011 8:24:29 AM

Anyone that has no debt at all must really have an easy ass life living in a tent or a trailer.
It's a bungalow thank you very much.


Everyone has some kind of debt.
Incorrect. Many of us live debt free, paying off our credit cards each month as well as any other bills that come in on a regular basis. Of course to get to this point, it's taken many, many years of setting up financial stability and foregoing those lavish vacations and such... but in the end, very much worth the effors.
 DoubleParked
Joined: 10/22/2008
Msg: 72
too much in debt?
Posted: 8/30/2011 8:59:12 AM

Anyone that has no debt at all must really have an easy ass life living in a tent or a trailer.


It's a house. And yeah, being debt-free is doable. Live below your means. If you don't have the money to pay for something, then don't buy it.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 74
too much in debt?
Posted: 8/30/2011 9:20:46 AM
While I am not running a credit check per se on a gal I am/would be dating- it is something that would give me pause when considering a spouse...

I did not have concern for this when I got married, and the ex had $30K + in consumer debt and lines of credit plus more than twice that in student loan debt...

She had a recent MBA at the time and was poised to be a good income earner, so I felt we would be ok so long as she did not have a major spending problem...

She filed bankruptcy just after we married on HER debts...we kept her house and car...so we never had ANY back lash at all...I was able to purchase 2 additional houses after that...

So I felt no effects...


there is such at thing as good debt


do tell !!!

the only good debt is when you leverage money for investments...

and even that- is hit or miss....
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 77
view profile
History
too much in debt?
Posted: 8/30/2011 10:40:45 AM
there is such at thing as good debt

do tell !!!
Reasonable debt for education costs, reasonable mortgage, reasonable business loans.

I put in 'reasonable' as there are also debts in each of those areas which are unreasonable. For example, education debt incurred without a useable degree or education level, a mortgage poor person or a business loan on an 'iffy' business venture.


the only good debt is when you leverage money for investments...

and even that- is hit or miss....
I disagree. If you have to borrow to invest, then that is what I would consider a bad debt since you run the risk of losing the principle in most investment opportunities. If you are guaranteed the security of the principle, then the interest you are paying on the loan would exceed the revenue on the investment.

If you want to play the money market, do it with cash on hand that you aren't afraid of losing... otherwise, stick it in a GIC or similar investment.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 79
too much in debt?
Posted: 8/30/2011 10:59:40 AM

reasonable business loans.


this is an investment, yes ??
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 83
too much in debt?
Posted: 8/30/2011 12:23:23 PM

I hope to find a man in a similar financial situation.


not a bad strategy...


Anyone that has no debt at all must really have an easy ass life living in a tent or a trailer


not necessarily...

a house is typically the ONLY purchase one makes where they will almost always have debt. and need

you don't need to finance a car.
you don't need credit cards.

granted, one could say that you don't need to buy a house and for most folks who cannot afford it- renting is the only option.

but its not a bad thing necessarily to finance your house. you'll be paying for rent anyhow and so long as you do not overextend yourself on the house- it usually is a good thing.

most of us in this life, in America (at least) typically or at least at some point or another have OVERSPENT .... mainly in the form of debt...
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 85
too much in debt?
Posted: 8/30/2011 1:23:01 PM
This is a question that has no quick/easy answer.
And "everybody has debt"-perhaps some are lumping "bills" in with "debt"? Most folks have a rent or mortgage payment, utilities bills, costs for insurance- Obviously, most experts consider a mortgage to be "good debt",along with student loan debt(provided that the debtor is actually benefitting from the education!) or debt incurred in creating and operating a business as long as there is a reasonable expectation that the business is going to become profitable in a reasonable amount of time.

And some who claim debt freedom have attained that by moving debt under a different "umbrella"-or by filing Chapter 7 bankruptcy. Some may have debt freedom due to inheriting money/property.
I think the questions that need to be asked are more about the nature of the debts or how someone who is debt-free came to be that way.
As for the debt becoming shared in marriage, I'm not sure but what one could fight any action taken against him or herself to collect debt that was PRE-marital. It could certainly impact a couples' credit rating/FICO score. But overall, I believe that formal marriage does bring the "2 become 1" concept for many legal and financial matters.

I certainly agree that a large amount of consumer/unsecured debt should be taken into consideration for marriage decisions-but "too much" is a subjective judgement and needs to be evaluated in context with what the debt is FOR.
Cindy O
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 87
view profile
History
too much in debt?
Posted: 8/30/2011 3:40:21 PM
reasonable business loans.

this is an investment, yes ??
No.

Bullbutter.....Been debt free for over four years now and will not be going back into debt for any reason that is within my control.

And some who claim debt freedom have attained that by moving debt under a different "umbrella"-or by filing Chapter 7 bankruptcy. Some may have debt freedom due to inheriting money/property.
I think the questions that need to be asked are more about the nature of the debts or how someone who is debt-free came to be that way.
You're right LadyC4... if someone has become debt free by filing bankruptcy or by hiding money so that they have bills paid for by the state or province that should be paid by the individual, it's no better than having bad debt.

Worse is that many of these people that have been bailed out actually place themselves in the same category as those that haven't had the foot up and have remained debt free.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 88
too much in debt?
Posted: 8/30/2011 5:50:33 PM
Who isn't in debt with a house & all the bills? Many houses are underwater, worth less than the morgage, it's a bad economy. I have a close friend who married a man she loved, but he was terrible wth money, irresponsible, She was smart & protected herself. They have separate banks & accounts. He writes her a check every Friday when he gets paid, she goes to his bank, gets the cash & pays the bills. He likes to spend money on drinks w/his friends, instead of paying the bills. So she gives him an allowance, enough to cover his gas & lunch at work, etc. I'm not saying give her an allowance, what works for them may not work for you. Protect yourself. Figure out what will work for your circumstances. Maybe you can keep your separate accounts, & have a third account that you both contribute to, to make the household expenses. Find a compromise, talk about it, & it will work out.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 89
too much in debt?
Posted: 8/30/2011 7:00:50 PM
Maffers ... so sorry for your current situation.
That just sucks.


I have a close friend who married a man she loved, but he was terrible wth money, irresponsible, She was smart & protected herself. They have separate banks & accounts. He writes her a check every Friday when he gets paid, she goes to his bank, gets the cash & pays the bills. He likes to spend money on drinks w/his friends, instead of paying the bills. So she gives him an allowance, enough to cover his gas & lunch at work, etc. I'm not saying give her an allowance, what works for them may not work for you. Protect yourself. Figure out what will work for your circumstances. Maybe you can keep your separate accounts, & have a third account that you both contribute to, to make the household expenses. Find a compromise, talk about it, & it will work out. ... cougarvamp


I would never do that again.
If a man has no concept of money, the woman taking care of it is really not helping.
In the end she will feel like his mother, and become bitter that she has to watch over EVERYTHING.
It puts her in the position of GOD.
What she says goes.
He becomes resentful.
Not a good idea.
You loose respect for the other person.
And if there is no respect, there is no equal ground for a relationship.
This is not a good compromise.

Instead find a mate who thinks like you do.
 ljohnson79
Joined: 5/13/2009
Msg: 90
view profile
History
too much in debt?
Posted: 8/30/2011 8:11:05 PM
her debt won't necessarily become your debt, you should talk to an attorney about options, lol

P R E N U P !
It's only a bad economy if you're on the wrong side of it. With regard to "living within one's means" the only person limiting your means is you! The world is always changing. To use the fishing analogy suitable for this site, fish where the fish are. Success = Preparation + Opportunity.

Having no debt mean you are too risk adverse, not seeking opportunities that you and your family deserve. There is a such thing as good debt, such as debt that is used to leverage control of income producing assets. $30K is not that much debt and if you're going to be looking at someone's finances you must also consider income and assets.



 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 91
too much in debt?
Posted: 8/30/2011 9:27:59 PM
Lint spotter and too all you holier than thou punks,
Bills are debt, anything you owe is debt. Gas bill, Internet bill, phone bill, etc all that added up is DEBT to be paid. Doesn't have to be just credit cards alone to be in debt. Not paying bills is debt as well. Anything you owe is debt whether it be taxes, child support, Expenses, Mortgage, etc bottom line is YOU OWE MONEY!! So there's no escaping the bills unless ya pay them and pay them on time so nothing gets cut off.

Wow look at all the debt free correctional police unit gathered out to get lil olde me
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 92
view profile
History
too much in debt?
Posted: 8/31/2011 9:36:40 AM

Lint spotter and too all you holier than thou punks,
Bills are debt, anything you owe is debt. Gas bill, Internet bill, phone bill, etc all that added up is DEBT to be paid. Doesn't have to be just credit cards alone to be in debt. Not paying bills is debt as well. Anything you owe is debt whether it be taxes, child support, Expenses, Mortgage, etc bottom line is YOU OWE MONEY!! So there's no escaping the bills unless ya pay them and pay them on time so nothing gets cut off.
Alrighty, let's go through this one by one so that you can understand exactly how I've come to the point of zero debt.

1. My house is paid - no mortgage, no liens, no using it to secure a credit line. 100% free and clear, it's mine.
2. I don't pay child support.
3. I don't owe taxes - I ensure that I have suffient deductions from my pay to cover the year end tax amounts so I always have a refund.
4. My monthly bills are on direct withdrawl, so they're paid as soon as they come due.
5. I pay my credit card charges in full before the bill comes in... this way I get all the rewards of using a credit card, but never have any interest accrue on the card.

I honestly cannot remember the last time I was in danger of having a service suspended due to non payment of a bill.


Wow look at all the debt free correctional police unit gathered out to get lil olde me
I wonder why you feel so threatened at people being financially stable... ?
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 98
too much in debt?
Posted: 8/31/2011 12:03:06 PM
Thank you for the wise words Iceman
 Diane8855
Joined: 6/14/2010
Msg: 100
too much in debt?
Posted: 8/31/2011 4:22:03 PM
If you love her yes!
 CoolBreezez
Joined: 8/20/2006
Msg: 103
view profile
History
too much in debt?
Posted: 8/31/2011 7:18:51 PM
I'm a big believer in taking care of business first and then spending on fun items. Couple of women I went out with in the past- not so much- so in the past, they shall remain.
Building big things takes time, finances included. I notice some of the no debt folks are all more middle aged. They, like me, kept at it and with some luck, got to this nice state of being. You just need to work at keeping the money heading in the right direction.
Easy financial primer-

($$$>>>>> you )- ($$ >>> someone else) = in the black ( good)

($$>>>you) - ($$$$$>>>some else)= in the red ( bad)

Life being what it is, its hard sometimes to keep the money moving in the right direction, but as long as it happens more often than not, you should be good.

Sounds like poor folks like Maffers and Pink (my condolences) had their finances in order so they could absorb the setbacks they had and hopefully come out well in the end. To me, this kind of thinking is a positive, and makes them considerate partners in relationships, trying not to burden others and loved ones.


1. My house is paid - no mortgage, no liens, no using it to secure a credit line. 100% free and clear, it's mine.
2. I don't pay child support.
3. I don't owe taxes - I ensure that I have sufficient deductions from my pay to cover the year end tax amounts so I always have a refund.
4. My monthly bills are on direct withdrawal, so they're paid as soon as they come due.
5. I pay my credit card charges in full before the bill comes in... this way I get all the rewards of using a credit card, but never have any interest accrue on the card.



It's also really not that difficult overall to stay on top of these things, and live within one's means, so I never understand why that is such an astronomical leap for some. Unacceptable debt for me would be living beyond one's needs and living frivolously, and failing to stay on top of their finances.


There's a couple of of fiscally responsible women.
What can I say - that's hot!
 professorjjd
Joined: 3/26/2009
Msg: 104
too much in debt?
Posted: 8/31/2011 11:07:58 PM
This is a response to message number 2: Wow! Thats INCREDIBLY shallow! You know the old saying, "money can't buy you love", well apparently even though it can't buy you love, it can sure DISQUALIFY you from love! HAHA Guess poor people don't qualify for mates.. Is this truly the world? Is this whats its boiled down to?
 professorjjd
Joined: 3/26/2009
Msg: 105
too much in debt?
Posted: 8/31/2011 11:20:22 PM
Oh, for the record, there is NO such thing as "good debt".. When you owe someone, or something money, its NEVER good! Personally, I have NOTHING! However, I OWE NOTHING! So whos truly better off, the man who has nice toys that he owes a ton of money on, that can be lost at ANYTIME if his income stops, or a man without "toys"(house, car, etc) who owes nothing to anyone? And therefore nothing can be taken from him? I know who'd I vote for!
 professorjjd
Joined: 3/26/2009
Msg: 108
too much in debt?
Posted: 9/1/2011 5:12:44 AM
I have to disagree, I understand too much! We all know(if you don't, you should) that we don't actually "own" ANYTHING in this country! We have the illusion of freedom, not freedom itself! If you have any type of account, it can be frozen or simply confiscated by IRS, Courts, government, etc.. Every dime you have, instantly gone! Any possessions you have, can be taken, if you owe money, lose your job, things get "repossessed"! And don't forget the government, police, etc, your house, car, all your possessions are forfeit if they feel like taking them! Don't argue, because you know for a fact its true! Its NOT promoted on news stories in general, but it happens daily to someone! I remember hearing about this example, of this older couple in their 60's losing their house because their grown son was a drug dealer, he didn't bring drugs to their house at all, never sold out of it, but his MAILING address was listed there, and the government ended up confiscating the house, possessions, even their car(of his parents).. Later on it was all auctioned! Nothing they could do, they had a lawyer, but had NO chance against the "wheels of justice".. So in this country, if they really want something from you, they can and will take it! You own nothing! So, since I am worth nothing financially, and have no valuable possessions or assets, and have zero debt, theres nothing that can be taken from me! So I am far better off then the average guy living his life in debt, owing on everything, and OWNING none of it really....
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 111
too much in debt?
Posted: 9/1/2011 7:22:16 AM
Archangel
Thanks for confirming that I guessed right- there is a "semantics cross-current" going on here.
When MOST people speak of "debt"-they mean mortgage(s) car payments, student loan payments, credit card accounts,HELOC payments, or other consumer goods bought on credit-(furniture,appliances, boat, RV,for a few examples) Please, note carefully the word "example"...I am neither damning or praising those who are making monthly payments for consumer goods/luxuries-simply using those things as an example of DEBT. Not all of this is necessarily "unsecured"debt,either-probably credit-cards, student loans, medical bills could be considered unsecured. (The drs. accountant isn't going to come and take away your baby because you haven't gotten the hospital bill paid off.)Debt might also be repaying money borrowed from a family member, from a retirement account,"signature" or "personal" loan. I would think that payments on BACK taxes or child support ARREARS would be considered "debt".

But of course there is the money one owes every month(or some other regular interval) for electricity,telephone/cell phone/internet,insurance premiums(medical, vehicle, and property being the most usual ones)property taxes for homeowners,child support, or directly paid income tax.Yes, this IS money owed to some person or entity, but it is
not generally what is meant when people speak of "debt". Those are generally called "bills". Many people speak of "paying the bills" to INCLUDE the money going to "service" debt. But regularly occurring monetary expenditure for rent, utilities,insurance premiums-that is not usually considered to be "debt"-even though it is money that is going out.

Did you actually think that some of us were claiming that we don't pay utility bills,insurance premiums,taxes?

No, "debt-free" means you don't owe money on a vehicle, luxury item(s), consumer goods,student loans. And most financial gurus will NOT see a mortgage or land contract payment as a big negative-at least in theory, real property is in the process of becoming an "asset".

I generally do not count a house as a "debt" . It is an asset in my opinion and plain and simply not to many people can afford to write a check for a home. So financing a home is going to be common.

Yes. To those who have managed to pay off-or avoid-a mortgage, kudos. But owing a reasonable amount on a reasonable home or income producing property is not "bad" debt.

How the person came to be either debt free or carrying more debt than one would feel comfortable with matters.

Precisely.

From reading this thread, it's very obvious that each individual's interpretation of 'debt' or 'debt load' is very different. Since financial matters tend to be the number one cause of disagreements in relationships, I'd say it well behooves a couple to discuss these issues upfront, and not partner with anyone whose habits they aren't comfortable with.


Yep-and though this topic was started some time ago,it does bring up the importance of "financial/money management compatibility" for any couple who plans to marry or even just co-habit(granted, co-habiting may not put one under any LEGAL obligation for their partners debt-or impact individual credit rating/FICO score-but it can be quite easy for an more indebted or improvident partner to become a subtle but significant drain on the resources of the more financially stable partner).


So whos truly better off, the man who has nice toys that he owes a ton of money on, that can be lost at ANYTIME if his income stops, or a man without "toys"(house, car, etc)

Ummm-for most folks-shelter and transportation are not "toys". And if your shelter and transportation are paid for,how can they be lost?-(except in some kind of act of war or Mother Nature-or the IRS which sometimes seems to be both!) Yes,if a person of either gender has somehow screwed up and owes a lot of back taxes, or child support-they may have assets seized or a lien put on them...but from all I've ever experienced, observed or heard, seizure/liens usually only take place in situations where the intent seems to be WILLFULL evasion/nonpayment/noncompliance.

or a man without "toys"(house, car, etc) who owes nothing to anyone? And therefore nothing can be taken from him? I know who'd I vote for!

OK-and are you looking for a relationship with a woman who has nothing( house, car,job)-"therefore having nothing that can be taken from" her?
Look, there is absolutely nothing wrong with a person who chooses to rent a dwelling place, who doesn't need a vehicle,or chooses to live "off the grid"( which can be a HELLUVA lot more work than living ON the grid,LOL). What the OT spoke of was a person with a lot of debt. Now-part of this 'debt' was a house. IF the person was benefitting from that house by either living in it or renting it out for income-the house may not be so much a debt. Of course, with what has happened to the economy and the real-estate market-the house may no longer present as much(or any) equity(equity in a home is considered an asset,btw). Iceman does a good job of sketching out the important points in mesg#126

So, since I am worth nothing financially, and have no valuable possessions or assets, and have zero debt, theres nothing that can be taken from me!

And you probably APPEAR to many women, to be a parasite looking for a "host". This may not BE the case-of course. There is nothing wrong with renting a place to live,and if you don't require a vehicle(you can get to work/conduct your business activities,meet your needs via foot, bicycle, or public transportation) thats' fine. But this is not what this topic started out being about.
No one is saying that "poor people" don't "qualify" for mates. Howeve, a lot of people are going to veer away from people who seem to be indigent/improvident/a "professional houseguest". As for transients, drifters,people whose occupation tends to be migratory- using a parent, relative or SO as a "mailing address",that, IMO, is something that the actual owner of the address should be cautious about. In the incident that the Prof described...it's NOT the possessions,the laws, or the goverment that is at fault, it is the criminal SON who willfully put his parents at risk by using their home as a mailing address.


So, since I am worth nothing financially
You have no income? Unfortunately , many people who are looking for a SO are going to see no income as a big red flag!
Cindy O
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 113
view profile
History
too much in debt?
Posted: 9/1/2011 8:36:52 AM
Anyone that has no debt at all must really have an easy ass life living in a tent or a trailer.



It's a house .And yeah,being debt-free is doable. Live below your means. If you don't have the money to pay for something, then don't buy it.


Yes ,that is true... If I have no money I don't buy things for a whim, or gamble for past time, Nevada is a gambling State, all of my friends that is their trip.
,but I can afford to pay emergency hidden costs like heater broken down, $4000.00 car to fix $375.00 ,ect. and I pay it all in cash.. I do not believe on "building your credits" but I believe on" saving for the winter days" And "managing "with your MONEY WISELY.
I own my home 4 bedrooms, I am a debt-free on credit cards,( I have no credit cards not even one) just my regular necessity bills like electric,water,ect..
I don't live an easy ass in a tent or a trailer, but I live an affluent life, if I can afford to hand a 20 dollar bill to a destitute (beggar),I am impressed of myself ...

I will not fall for a man who has nothing but a lot of debts.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 117
view profile
History
too much in debt?
Posted: 9/1/2011 10:33:20 AM
My late husband left me with lots of debt ,so I came from ashes. His quote > in this country USA you have to build your credits I paid for his debt,he spend (like he hates money) on stupid things, when he passed away. I work 2 jobs plus sideline on alteration sewing and I live frugally..
Now, even in this economy,I am not doing bad... I even support myself 3 months paying bills, on my savings, after my unemployment exhausted... The moral of my story is don't live beyond your means in other words don't spend money that you don't have to impress others ... then slave paying for it.

I read the book The Riches Man In Babylon and that did help me to understand the power of money... To live a life in a simple comfortable style and can help others who are in need to me that is LIVING!
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 123
view profile
History
too much in debt?
Posted: 9/2/2011 10:34:34 AM
Professorjjd:

You are a free spirit, You own the whole world with your visuality.. In fact I would say you are very rich spiritualy you give nothing ,you own nothing, you are floating inyour life time.

I would not want to be in your shoes,for I want to use my God given talents to explore the world and be useful to earn my living and acumulate materials and be part of civilization inventions. Yes ,it is true that material things are illusions, that beautiful house /building/castle can be burned down with no trace at all. And that dresses,jewelries ,shoes ,travels, cars ,television,ect. will be passse, but I live my life fully experiencing these things... What matter is I exert my energies in this world.

I believe what the bible quote> God Giveth And God Taketh..
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