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 hammerhead69
Joined: 4/28/2007
Msg: 20
Fed upPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
your very welcome passionaterose and its ment from the hart i can tell by your profile that your kinde nice and sweet and dont give up on beleaveing your trust thers alot of people out ther who gose through the same problem but here some hugs {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} hun
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 21
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History
Fed up
Posted: 9/15/2009 3:35:30 AM
Just take it one day at a time. Place all delusions of everlasting happiness on the back burner and just take it one day at a time.

Or, as the others have said, become a lesbian (even though women can be just as conniving and troublesome, if not more so, than men) or just try to find a way to be happy being alone.
 MizBexReturns
Joined: 8/19/2009
Msg: 22
Fed up
Posted: 9/15/2009 7:26:38 AM
OP, I agree with mthomjmark, read his posts in particular he gives women excellent advice. You also might want to go and read the "So you want a second chance" thread, which is authored by another man here who gives excellent relationship advice. The thread isn't so much about really getting that second chance but about fulfilling yourself and respecting yourself. It is a very good read.
 Strong Women Of God
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 23
Fed up
Posted: 9/15/2009 6:28:30 PM
I had to add that today I got a letter from my ex husband to thank me for the wonder ful moments that you were so kind in spending with me .Then my ex boyfriend misses me and it hurts his heart that he got me upset and he has feelings for me still.
 **~renegadeoutlaw~**
Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 24
Fed up
Posted: 9/15/2009 7:51:41 PM
Wow. Imagine that! An ex writing thanking for the great times! - wonder if I'll ever get to that point with mine......but I highly doubt it. Oh well. at least you have that.

As far as your ex boyfriend goes, well he walked out the door and said he was finished so he is. Never ever break up with someone more than once, because if you go back, it just gives him the opportunity to hurt you again. He'll stick around until he finds something he perceives as better. trust me on that. You deserve a whole LOT better than that!

Better to be lonely because you are alone, versus lonely because you are in a relationship that is hurtful and is clearly NOT working. Been there and done that and hopefully, YOU won't go down that road! - NOT fun!
 Strong Women Of God
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 25
Fed up
Posted: 9/15/2009 8:03:43 PM
renegadeoutlaw I walked out on my boy friend.And he my ex boyfriend will not get better then me .His own son and others told him he will not get better than me but they have said to me that I will get better.The women he gets I have been told are full of problems and they are real bad women and they are trouble I have been told. I have been told this by people close to him .He got lucky with me he was told.That is why he came back because he knows that I am a good women with a big heart people told me this.people like me are rare I have been told.As far as my ex husband I was very good to him and he knows that and he thanked me. And he is now thanking me for the great times.He did a bad thing my ex husband and went away for it.And because of that I ended it.and what my ex husband did was not done to me.people say that these two men realize what a good decent nice sweet person I am and they are sorry to lose me.my head is spinning e mails from the ex boyfriend and a letter from my ex husband.when it rains it pours oh brother.
 VivaciousVixen2010
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 26
Fed up
Posted: 9/15/2009 8:28:09 PM
OP, i have been to divorce class. i also tended open bible church every week. my ex is now wicca!!!!!!!!!!
let dumb ar se people judge you.
your only judgment that you answer is to God.
there are 2 paths that we can follow, the path of God or the path of the devil.
the path that these men have chosen is their choice.
pray for your ZEN
you don't have to pray for your exes
the only perfect Christian was a Jew and humans hung Him from a cross
so don't try to be perfect. try to be close to God.
try not to hurt others.
try to make the right decisions for yourself.
God will let you have a man when you let Him take some of the burden.
God loves everybody. Even the people on the forums who mock Him.
 Strong Women Of God
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 27
Fed up
Posted: 9/15/2009 8:34:20 PM
vivaciousvixen2009 AMEN.I am close to god.jesus is my rock my life.I pray for all and I forgive all.
 Laidbackguy1964
Joined: 4/20/2017
Msg: 28
Fed up
Posted: 4/29/2017 3:26:47 PM
Yeah I got fed up with using online dating sites and dealing with the process that goes into getting dates...People rarely have success on these sites and the one's that do, usually end up back on here with bad attitudes complaining about their exes...I spoke to a number of women when I was searching and most of them had previously been victims of domestic violence, so it was not much fun communicating with them and I never managed to find one decent woman, baggage free, with a positive mental attitude, worth talking too. Not many people on these sites are mentally ready to date.
 BriningIt
Joined: 8/8/2010
Msg: 29
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History
Fed up
Posted: 5/2/2017 6:15:59 PM
I met a girl in church once, way back. And I didn't even go to church! My brother asked me to go. That girl was horny as hell! Get out of here and go to church, you know, to repent!
 saintclara
Joined: 5/30/2017
Msg: 30
Fed up
Posted: 12/18/2017 7:20:27 PM
Well you need to understand the nature of men I mean they are like vindictive three yr olds so used to shitting on mommies carpet and still getting unconditional love they demand it from you too whatever their disgusting faults and treatment of you is and you can't break up and go back to them like you did to teach them a lesson oh no because they don't learn a lesson they sit and plot how to get their own back because they are in their mommies eyes perfect ,can do no wrong and rejection isn't their fault it's yours
No you need to learn you are not dealing with nice, fair, rational ,reasonable people
You get your break girl and start enjoying life
 cinderellaand
Joined: 7/22/2005
Msg: 31
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Fed up
Posted: 3/7/2018 8:15:37 PM
To really know someone takes time. I am so tired of the excuses men give! If you really liked me you would...? Fill in the blank with whatever you will I am sure I may apply. The number of books and classes on how to lie to people is astounding!
Every year people seem to get worse? Does anyone else think the same? The US. is going through some kind of crisis on lack of humanity, especially in the cites! PS. I supposed friend helped rewrite my profile a while back so naturally, it now has spelling mistakes.
So many things are just so hilarious!
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 32
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Fed up
Posted: 3/8/2018 3:26:49 PM
It's the snap decisions that people make. (both men and women) That's common on OLD (On line dating) Women veto men on just what they sent in a message, or what they read on their profiles. Not everyone is a wiz at writing profiles or first messages, yet it's expected if one plans to make a go of this.

Yes, people have gotten worse. Since I can only draw on my own experiences, I think women have gotten exceptionally finicky. But, it was because so many of them encountered some jerk that was only out for himself. How do I convince a woman that I might be better than the turkey that used them? I can't, especially when I never get the opportunity to prove myself, to begin with. I think humanity got tossed into the dumper quite a while ago. The cities just sped up the whole situation.

I learned long ago not to waste time on opening messages. A half hour shot in the hind end to have my message ignored? Why bother? If I got a response once in a moon, I'd still keep trying. But once in a year? (Maybe) Who am I kidding? Not bothering seemed to be the sensible thing to do. It's just easier to be concerned about me, and the heck with this dating business.
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 33
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Fed up
Posted: 3/9/2018 9:24:33 AM

I think women have gotten exceptionally finicky.


I wouldn't say "finicky". I think "crash-coursed" is more accurate. Same for men, as well.

Before OLD, when people were thrown together by chance or design, I'd have a handful of chances of meeting somebody, "going steady", getting hitched. The weekend kegger. The cute girl in my Tuesday/Thursday political science class. The chances of ultimately being burned were fewer, because the opportunities were fewer.

Now the opportunities are many. There are quite a few people, some either presently or formerly of these forums even, who've met hundreds of potentials.

After getting burned dozens upon dozens of times, the course is charted a bit more carefully. I wouldn't call that being finicky.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 34
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Fed up
Posted: 3/15/2018 1:13:56 AM

I am so tired of the excuses men give! If you really liked me you would...? Fill in the blank with whatever you will

It's because they lack sufficient attraction in you, or enough to overcome boredom/other-options after some time... plus lacking the ballz to tell you that straight up (and themselves). It's a people thing, though. There's no shortage with gals like that. Both there's plenty in both genders who aren't like that.

I think to avoid it is to avoid trying to "win over" a guy... or to take going out with a guy having a nice time, even dating as = wanting to ride off in the sunset and crazy 'bout ya for the long run. As you say, it takes time. When one's not spousal-hunting (=feeling empty not having a significant other) -- it's easier to avoid. And also, don't chase those out of your league, and/or guys with a certain "swagger" that has lured ya in.

The number of books and classes on how to lie to people is astounding!

Man! I never took that class! I was always stuck in Home Ec. Argh. :) But I will say the avoidance of telling the truth straight up is why people are led on. Not out of manipulation most of the time. We'd like to think that. Makes the ones not-that-into-us-but-dated-us more of a bad person. Gals included.

Telling the Truth to avoid stuff like this would be a robot:
"Well [Bob | Sally], I think you're mildly cute. Nothing clicks on paper or how we mesh that would raise my attraction toward you more, but that doesn't happen much either. I can see liking the excitement of dating someone new somewhat, but it'll fade. Again, you're not good looking enough to me for it to go much past that. In the end, you'll get flustered and dislike me, and there'll be too much drama. Sure, I could get my fun with [dinners | sex], and we could be fine friends+ if you were OK with that, but I don't think it'd be worth it."
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 35
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Fed up
Posted: 3/15/2018 3:14:43 AM
I'm guessing with this thread being 9 years old....
That OP most likely is gay she did say over and over she is giving up on men.
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