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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Does the opinion of others ....      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 heartseekertrue
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 10
Does the opinion of others ....Page 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
To the Op: quoting Seneca;
if you shape your life according to nature, you will never be poor;
if according to people's opinions, you will never be rich.

but to balance (again quoting Seneca)
Consult your friend on all things, especially on those which respect yourself. His counsel may then be useful when your own self-love might impair your own judgment...

so I'd say, depends on the person opining...




peppermint petunias on 9/17/2009 6:00:05 AM
A friend who loves you can see what you can't or don't want to.


indeed...raises two questions.
Can YOU "handle the truth" this friend illumines for you, without construed offense, resultant defense, and further injury?

Can THEY "handle the truth" and neither use it against you for personal agenda, and can they present the truth to you in tact, love, AND honesty? From pure motive, with integrity?

The earlier and astute remark re jealousy by Landra2is good:
"jealousy" is a terrible green eyed monster, who lives on fear and control. One so in bondage to self to chain up another....is of no use to self, or other.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 11
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Does the opinion of others ....
Posted: 9/17/2009 10:39:48 AM
I'll carefully consider their opinion and make up my own mind.
"Try it on like a jacket, if it fits, wear it. If it doesn't, discard it and move along"
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 12
Does the opinion of others ....
Posted: 9/17/2009 3:39:50 PM
If the viewpoint is from a "credible' source, it goes in the 'duly noted' file. It won't MAKE a decision, but it might influence,should the need to make a decision arise. It would also depend on whether the viewpoint was about something IMPORTANT (like values, character, personality) not so much about looks, money, posssessions, occupation.
Cindy O
 sweetest
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 13
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Does the opinion of others ....
Posted: 9/18/2009 4:16:15 AM

How many of us have questioned the status of a relationship with our significant other based solely on the biased opinions of our family and friends rather than our own experiences with that person?

^^^Yes. I've done this. Like anyone else, the opinions of people that are closest to me are very important. That said, I don't usually go about looking for expressed opinions in this area of my life, preferring to work through things myself. Further, it would be a rather rare occurrence that would find me acting solely based on someone's opinion; as I've got very good instincts for people.

If an opinion is proffered and I 'trust' the person offering the opinion...and I also happen to be waffling in my own mind on something or realizing that something is niggling away at me or is somewhat unsettled; it's definitely more likely that their opinion may have some sway in my decision. However, if an opinion is offered and my particular viewpoint at the time is rather unshakable; the opinion is noted and change as a direct result, unlikely.
 JustMary65
Joined: 5/26/2008
Msg: 14
Does the opinion of others ....
Posted: 10/11/2009 7:53:51 AM
There have been times in my past that I allowed the feelings and opinions of friends and family influence my decisions where SO's were concerned, however now, I try to give anyone I date or allow in my life the benefit of the doubt regardless of what others may say about the people I have chosen in my life.
 Stafford_Jim
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 15
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Does the opinion of others ....
Posted: 10/11/2009 10:30:15 AM

If the people closest to me, the ones who know me, love me, and want the best for me find problems with my SO, then yes- their opinion would be something I'd heed.


ditto.
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