Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Inego Montoya
Joined: 9/9/2009
Msg: 70
why do woman see men as just friendsPage 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Great advice, not a nurse. Of course, the meeting for a cup of coffee is often what the women list in their profile as how they want the first date. Being a provernial "nice guy" who used to be a jerk I can honestly say I got a lot more women as a jerk. Only problem is, those kind aren't worth keeping
 indigo1357
Joined: 7/10/2009
Msg: 71
why do woman see men as just friends
Posted: 10/10/2009 9:09:17 PM

I treat women well at all times


that. But for guys like us there is no hope because you cant fake being a jerk. They can sense when a guy is faking being an ass to them. You must sincerely be a prick for women to fall for you.
 tnt144
Joined: 10/22/2007
Msg: 72
why do woman see men as just friends
Posted: 10/10/2009 9:43:09 PM
It's even simpler... just respect yourself a little bit more than you do her (you have to, to be healthy... you are best one for that job), and go for that big first kiss by the second date... if you don't, there is a high chance you will just be freinds... the first kiss takes the relationship to the next stage.

If you are not kissing, you are just wishing.

Print this and put it on your refrigerator.
 3Therm0pylae0
Joined: 5/11/2009
Msg: 73
why do woman see men as just friends
Posted: 10/11/2009 1:19:08 AM
When they say that, reply: "Well I'm not here for a friendship bracelet. Strip now and let me lick hot caramel off your nake body! GRRRR!" and they'll get the point... or run and call the cops!
 Stafford_Jim
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 77
view profile
History
why do woman see men as just friends
Posted: 10/11/2009 10:28:55 AM
Sometimes I feel the same way as the OP. I've had a lot of good woman friends over the years, but a couple of them turned out to be life long friends. Had I tried to move things further and lost everything, including their friendship in the end it wouldn't have been worth it.

A few times when I sat the sidelines and wished I hadn't it was all about timing. Once I was going through a divorce and I wasn't in any condition to try something new, the others were simply both of us being in relationships at opposite times, our unattached states never lined up.
 moun10dew
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 83
why do woman see men as just friends
Posted: 8/16/2011 2:00:16 PM

The problem is that you let the women lead in the relationship.


True...but sometimes this is a real pain in the butt. I recently went out on two dates with a nice woman. I would have been interested to see where it would have gone. However....I planned the first two dates. The week of the third date I had a birthday party to go to at a private club. I said if she was able to go (It was the middle of the week) that she should go with me. She said she'd think about it then followed that up with "We should go see a movie this weekend." I said "what did you have in mind"...as there wasn't really wasn't anything that I wanted to see but would have been open. She said...let me think about it and I'll get back to you. Never heard from again. Talked to another friend of mine who knew her...and he said she did the same thing to him.
 surfaceofficer
Joined: 8/8/2011
Msg: 84
why do woman see men as just friends
Posted: 8/16/2011 2:10:55 PM
Ooohh no. I don't play the platonic friend game.

I make it clear enough that I'm not headed for friend land when I'm dating a woman (my profile almost always does the job for me). I've been told that I just wasn't what a woman was looking for after a couple of dates on a few occassions; and I've done it myself. After that decision is made, I respectully thank them for their time and move on....and delete their numbers out of my phone and we walk.

If she's looking for "friends" on her profile...I will likely not even get involved, unless their write ups CLEARLY contradict it. Even THEN I'll ask clearification through Email chat.
 Steve30642
Joined: 6/14/2011
Msg: 86
why do woman see men as just friends
Posted: 8/16/2011 2:42:50 PM
Thank you for that vincep34,,,,, just tell me,,, "yes",,"maybe", "NO".
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 87
why do woman see men as just friends
Posted: 8/16/2011 3:06:27 PM
if a woman tells you something like that then it certainly means that she is not interested in you in any romantic capacity. the funny thing is, men and women can't really be friends. most women fail to realize this and are oblivious to the fact that the guy wouldn't be hanging around if he didn't have some romantic/sexual intentions.
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 88
why do woman see men as just friends
Posted: 8/16/2011 3:16:34 PM
A female would say that to a guy that she's not interested in at that point, yes you are a friend zone.
 mohoss
Joined: 7/12/2011
Msg: 89
why do woman see men as just friends
Posted: 8/16/2011 3:43:27 PM
Sorry, I haven't read this thread yet. In the past, this was a big problem of mine. Here are some of the reasons this happens:

Not leading or being assertive
Acting clingy and needy
Showing too much desperation
Being indecisive and wishy-washy
Displaying too much weakness
Becoming way too friendly
Not flirting or showing any sexual interest, ever
Changing the tone from sexual to friendly too often
Showing too much interest too soon
Giving too many compliments
Pushing for a relationship too soon
Becoming attached and spilling emotions too soon
Acting like you're married, because an attractive person showed interest
Always being available; making them your entire life
Acting overly shy, timid, and gentle
Having no confidence; acting overly nervous and afraid
Acting overly insecure, of low self-esteem, and self-worth
Acting as though their approval determines your worth
Being afraid of "offending"; thus, never rocking the boat
Acting too serious all of the time; never being fun
Being over-run by fear every time you interact
Acting overly nice; not teasing or showing playful banter
Putting them on a pedestal
Being too agreeable; having no opinions
Never standing up for yourself or setting boundaries; being a pushover
Having no self-respect
Never saying no to anything
Excusing and rewarding poor behaviors
Becoming co-dependant; acting as though you NEED them, and can't ever lose them
Making them your only source of happiness
Trying way too hard to win them over
Not having standards

Man, I was such a douche.
 unclezeus
Joined: 5/12/2011
Msg: 90
why do woman see men as just friends
Posted: 8/16/2011 3:53:31 PM

I treat women well at all times, is that the problem?
....Yes. Guys who do this , end up in her "Friends zone" . No excitement.
 hippyera
Joined: 7/28/2011
Msg: 91
why do woman see men as just friends
Posted: 8/16/2011 7:59:28 PM
sometimes women say that in a nice way to let you know you would make a better friend than a lover..
other reason... they don't see you in the same light you see them..
 moun10dew
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 92
why do woman see men as just friends
Posted: 8/17/2011 7:20:20 AM
The whole friendship Vs. dating thing has always been a problem for me. I have way more women friends than I do guy friends. Most of the guys I hang around with tend to hang out with me if I am the possessor of tickets to a sporting event or if I run into them at the bar. I almost feel like I need to bribe them to hang out with me. It's gotten harder over time due to most of them being in relationships (which I'm not), and/or having families of their own (which again I do not).

I'm a big fan of roller derby so I am sort of drawn to that group. I hang out with the girls and their husbands/boyfriends/girl friends. They invite me to hang out with them and I invite them to hang out with me. I've tried to hook up with about 3 of the girls but always get shot down. I've talked to friends and they have given me various reasons why...but I'm not going to go into those reasons. Doesn't mean I can't support my friends on the team.

It's been easier for me to make friends with some of the women than it has been with the guys. But I suppose I could ditch all my female friends and just go for a monk's life. Would you rather have a number of good female friends or a very small group of guy friends that you have to bribe to hang out with you?
 LinuxD
Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 93
view profile
History
why do woman see men as just friends
Posted: 8/17/2011 7:39:50 AM
You only get put in the friend zone if you allow it.
 surfaceofficer
Joined: 8/8/2011
Msg: 94
why do woman see men as just friends
Posted: 8/17/2011 8:50:39 AM
^^ What he said.

Thats like walking into the McDonalds HR office to interview for a managerial position and accepting a job as a fry cook.

You got no one to blame but yourself if you allow it to go down like that.
 morta1ez
Joined: 9/3/2009
Msg: 95
view profile
History
why do woman see men as just friends
Posted: 8/17/2011 8:54:30 AM
Because those types of women are uncaring b!tches for wasting your time, next question.
 mememe7
Joined: 11/2/2008
Msg: 97
why do woman see men as just friends
Posted: 8/19/2011 1:03:49 PM
Well speaking for myself.. if i see a guy JUST AS A FRIEND and NOT a friend with benefits.. just so we are clear :) I live him as a FRIEND and have no sexual attraction to him at all.. He is probaby a great guy, maybe even everything i want in a partner but not attracted.... just saying
 mikejustmike
Joined: 8/20/2009
Msg: 98
why do woman see men as just friends
Posted: 8/19/2011 6:30:36 PM
Well you see when it comes to women you have to tell them what they want to hear, and then they will want to be more than friends, you see ?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LX664MhYolA

..............................................................................................................................................................
 ClaireChristine
Joined: 8/16/2011
Msg: 99
why do woman see men as just friends
Posted: 8/20/2011 4:42:10 AM
Yes if a woman says she just wants to be friends, she doesnt fancy you but likes you.
For whatever reason you are not sexy to them....
 geoffonpof1
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 100
why do woman see men as just friends
Posted: 8/20/2011 8:04:29 AM
^^^^^ very true,



They are loooking at you as a "nice guy" so.......
make changes to your approach and attitude towards women.
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 101
view profile
History
why do woman see men as just friends
Posted: 8/20/2011 2:08:51 PM
Do you tell your dates that you have more women friends than guy friends? If so, they may be reacting to this without giving you a chance.

Honestly, you are better off not being deeply involved in a relationship when your mate doesn't find you attractive IMVHO.
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 102
why do woman see men as just friends
Posted: 8/20/2011 9:07:44 PM
nope, it's good that you're treating them well

the problem is, they're just not interested in you romantically - there's no chemistry

keep trying

good luck :)
 majyk1
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 103
why do woman see men as just friends
Posted: 8/20/2011 10:04:26 PM
It means your personality, views and opinions are at least some what good (for us)..... we just don't want to fvck you.
 karl777
Joined: 5/18/2011
Msg: 104
why do woman see men as just friends
Posted: 8/20/2011 11:47:32 PM
win a big lotto, she'll fall in love.. bet your ass on it
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >