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Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 26
Cell phones and the first datePage 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Helen -

"I do not think it is a coincidence that civility in general seems to have been a good deal more commonplace when 24-7 access was not possible. And dates were only interrupted for real emergencies, for which people were paged. Which is a system that still works just fine. "

You are correct with that one. Not only dating, but just life in general.

As Will Rogers once said:

"The problem with common sense is.. It aint too common"
Joined: 8/16/2009
Msg: 27
Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 9/20/2009 2:47:19 PM
I can relate. I find it rather rude when someone has their phone on during a date and checks it a lot and even will write back. I put mine on vibrate or off and don't look it during the date. My attention is focused on who I'm with and not my phone. I had a guy who was looking at his phone so much I left and said I'll leave you to talk to whoever you are on your phone. lol. Some people have no class.
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 28
Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 9/20/2009 4:06:37 PM
leave the table and tell him you are going to the bathroom and you expect the conversation to be over when you come back...if he does not respect your wishes...he is not worth it for you to be there...he is rude and not waste your time with the fool
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 29
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Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 9/23/2009 2:24:15 PM
Whether it's on a first date, at the store, or in the theatre, cell phones are a regular nuisance. Cell phones do have their place, don't get me wrong, I even have one (from Trac-fone), but when a tiny intrusive device pushes aside real conversation or face time then it's utility has been compromised.

I've written before I all too often see parents (guardians) transporting a child someplace to somewhere and instead of talking to that little (or not so little ) crumb-cruncher they are glued to the conversation they are having with some remote person. When I'm in the car with my son, even with the radio on, he is the focus of my attention (after not getting us killed on the road). When the time arises that I find myself on a date, yes I may have the phone with me, but it shall be relegated to a lesser status.

{sheesh, are we getting so narscisistic that all we care about is how important others make us look?}
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 30
Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 9/23/2009 2:36:33 PM
The last guy I met was talking on his phone when I met him. He sort of waved at me and continued his conversation for about 10 minutes -- completely ignoring me. We were seated and then he got a text message, which he replied to. He immediately got another one, and he replied to that one. Then he got a call and proceeded to chat with this person for another 5 minutes or so. We finally ordered dinner. He got another call and talked the entire time we were waiting for dinner. At this point, I've wasted almost 45 minutes and haven't even spoken to him except for about 3 words.

When dinner came to the table, I excused myself to the ladies room and then left him sitting there with two plates of food, no date and his beloved cell phone.

I hope they'll be very happy together ...
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 31
Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 9/23/2009 2:39:10 PM
Yeah, I'd get up and walk to my car.... she could get a ride... she has a phone.

This type of behaviour really gets me lit up. Its beyond rude...
Joined: 4/12/2008
Msg: 32
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Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 9/23/2009 2:49:40 PM

Whether it's on a first date, at the store, or in the theatre, cell phones are a regular nuisance

I completely agree. I used to be a cashier at a grocery store, and it always amazed me how rude people could be, talking on their cell phones while I ran them through. Then when it came time to pay for the transaction, it was as if I was interrupting them!

If a guy did this to me on a date, there would be no second one. It is the height of ignorance and so completely devoid of class. It tells me that they are incredibly self centered, and have no manners whatsover, to boot. Next!

Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 33
Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 9/23/2009 2:54:56 PM
Since I have kids, guys usually understand that I will have my cell on me. I have had a few of those irritating "mr. popular" dates and they were a real drag. I think it's rude to answer anything that isn't really important. Like your friends calling to see what you're up to... is that really something more important?
 Fi Fi Foncho
Joined: 2/22/2009
Msg: 34
Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 9/23/2009 4:25:42 PM

If someone can't understand children having access to their parents while the parents are out, I'd say don't date people with kids. It's on everyone's profile, so it should be easy to weed those people out. :)

Really? I've had men change their profile to no kids/does not want kids so I would give them a chance. They just knew I would love their little darlings when I met them.......

I guess I really am old, because I was working at fifteen, and more than capable of taking care of myself so my parents could get a much deserved night or two off. Most kids I knew were, too. These days, not so much.

My co workers spend more time on the phone with their kids every day than they do working. If I called my mother at work for anything less than an emergency, there was hell to pay. She did not play when it came to her job, and rightly so.

No cell phones on the first date. If you can't get through an hour or so without it, I don't see any reason for a repeat performance.
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 35
Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 9/23/2009 4:41:45 PM
probably piggy backing reports to home base about operation over load.
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 36
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Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 9/23/2009 6:53:46 PM
I use my cel phone all the time. I don't have any small children, nor a job that warrants any calls. If I'm on a date, it put my phone on silent, that way I can devote 100% of my time to the person I'm with on a date.

If my house is on fire, the firmen will handle it.
If someone has died, they will still be dead in an hour.
If I've won the lottery, I will still be rich in an hour.

Etc. Etc. I think it's just common courtesy. Or maybe these days, an uncommon courtesy.

Separate yourself from the pack people.
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 37
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Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 9/23/2009 6:53:49 PM
When I am in anything but the most casual of conversations, I often ask that the person I am talking to turn off their cell so that we are not interrupted. Many refuse saying the must be available to someone. I then ask if they would turn off their cell for five or ten minutes so we can talk without worrying about interruption. Many say, no.
They are no longer on my Christmas ecard list.

If this happens in a business meeting, I will understand there is no mutual respect for our business relationship and no respect for my time. In social situations my conclusion is much the same. It rarely happens that someone is willing to discuss the matter. There is little future in such relationships but that is their choice.

If there is a fire, medical, or police emergency, your friends and family should call 911 first and stay on the line until help arrives. If you really need to be in touch, then explain to the people you are with that you will excuse yourself every ten minutes or so to check on a worrisome situation.

I am afraid that I sometimes get peeved and when others turn our meeting room or table into a phone booth in which I am an involuntary witness to half of a conversation, I have been known to make an endless series of cell calls at the same time they are on the phone - and to talk a bit loudly. My bad.
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 38
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Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 9/23/2009 8:40:34 PM
I seem to remember a time when babysitters were taught about how to deal with things that came up. Short of dire emergencies, there should be no reason to call someone during a date if you know they are on a date.

Short of said emergencies, if a first date is interrupted more than once with a phone call...or at all with a text and it's answered...pretty much a deal-breaker for me.
Joined: 9/11/2009
Msg: 39
Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 9/26/2009 5:20:51 PM
This has happened to me all my 28 years alive, the women text in front of me as if I'm not there and I'm supposed to feel good about it?! Sorry but if they do that all the time I'm gone.
Joined: 4/9/2009
Msg: 40
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Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 9/26/2009 5:42:12 PM
That is sorta rude.. If I had to check my fone constantly, I'd let my date know and then show her the message so she knows its not another woman!
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 41
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Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 9/27/2009 12:04:31 AM
I always found cells to be annoying, when i'm out i like to be inthe zone of whatever i'm doin if it's hangin out with my friends I don't want to be interrupted every 5 mins, if you need to get a hold of me that badly send me an e-mail / facebook inbox etc i'll get to you when i get home on my landline when i'm actually available to talk and people that use their cells on dates texting no just don't leave it in your purse if you have kids they'll call and you'll hear the ring i don't mind if you check to see who's calling in those exception cases but if yer gonna answer every call i'll just go talk to someone else wherever we might be at.
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 42
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Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 9/27/2009 12:12:03 AM
most people in this day and age are just rude, inconsiderate a-holes when it comes to their phone. people who are tethered to their phone and constantly checking it, as if they were the president of the united states need to get a life. it's getting waaaay ridiculous.
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 43
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Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 9/27/2009 8:40:01 AM
cell phones on dates are a particular pet peeve of mine. What? We cant survive 60 minutes without it stuck in our ear? I think it is rude to conduct a private conversation with one person while on a date, meeting, with another. Anyone can go the restroom to check if you have received any messages. If your life is so busy that you have to have your cell on you at all times, then your probably too busy to be dating to begin with. Otherwise, your not coming across as cool or important to that person waiting on you to get off the phone.
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 44
Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 9/27/2009 9:29:58 AM
Unless children are involved, or something urgent goes down, people should let their cell phones alone, and enjoy the date.
Joined: 10/24/2008
Msg: 45
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Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 9/27/2009 10:55:09 AM
Seeing as I'm only 19, I've basically grown up on mobiles... but I can still put mine away sometimes!
If I'm on a date, then my attention is with that person, as it should be. If my friends have arranged that they'll call /text to check that I'm OK, then usually I won't answer at that exact moment, but wait a few minutes until I go to the girls' room.
Joined: 4/10/2009
Msg: 46
Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 9/27/2009 6:44:35 PM
I noticed with people who are worried about someone will often check their cells. If not, they put it on vibrate and don't even give it a second glance.
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 47
Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 9/28/2009 11:53:20 AM
OMG, I hate that! When I'm on a first date, all my attention is focused 100% on the girl that I am with. Not their Blackberry!

Sure, I have admit phones are good to have, emergency use and for work contacts and use. But every 2 minutes you they have to pick up and answer their Blackberry. That annoys the hell outta me.

The last date I was on, the girl kept answering her stupid Blackberry, drove me nuts. She was chatting about stupi stuff. We were walking to a restarant and she seemed more into her stupid phone then being with me.

I asked her a simple question what would you do if you lost your Blackberry? She said she'd die without it. It was her lifeline. I said really? I would never have thought why... I said can I see your Blackberry she she sure. Just as long as I get the next call coming in. I asked, so if you say lost it would you get it back in the mail or from telus, she said yes. And say why would I lose, its hear right infront of me. ( something a no brainer would say ) We were coming up to the restarant and her Blackberry rang and some guy by the name Kevin was on the other end. Was just about to the restarant, when we were right by a mail box ( you know where this is going ), I grabbed her phone and told Kevin that she's on a date and can't talk now. I then threw the phone into the mailbox. Looked at my date and said, Hey the minutes sure seem to fly by, she looked really stunned, I said oh we are at the restarant. She was white as a ghost. She said huh ya. But managed to get her into the restarant. Date was good after that. No more Blackberry.

Joined: 8/24/2009
Msg: 48
Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 9/28/2009 3:36:03 PM
Hi, just starting here. Take it easy one me please! ;)

What about at the other end, if you're trying to call them after a first date - which seems to have worked out well - and they don't pick up?

I know the answer is to politely leave a message that shows that you are not desperate. ;) Where are they that they can't pick up? One visualizes her looking calmly at her ringing phone and thinking "oh, him", or worse, being on a date with someone else and not interested in chatting of course.

No, I am not insecure, just wanted to bring in a different perspective. :)
Joined: 5/3/2009
Msg: 49
Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 9/28/2009 6:13:59 PM
The problem with this world is we're too busy waiting for the one we WANT to call to the point we miss who is in front of us.
Joined: 5/3/2009
Msg: 50
Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 9/28/2009 6:14:59 PM
That being said... if she doesn't have kids or a sick parent, she shouldn't be checking her phone when we're trying to talk. Deal-breaker.
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