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 mako20
Joined: 9/8/2007
Msg: 47
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Cell phones and the first datePage 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I agree,,,drives me nuts...if younger kids are home i understand,,,other wise totaly no need to have it if your out to dinner with someone,,,keep it in your bag,,,your there to talk with your date.
 mako20
Joined: 9/8/2007
Msg: 48
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Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 11/15/2011 3:43:38 PM
I agree,,,drives me nuts...if younger kids are home i understand,,,other wise totaly no need to have it if your out to dinner with someone,,,keep it in your bag,,,your there to talk with your date.
 concertlover31
Joined: 10/9/2011
Msg: 49
Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 11/15/2011 3:51:36 PM
i don't care if you DO HAVE CHILDREN. turn it off.

the chances of an emergency on a one hour date are extremely low. the chances that you can do anything to alleviate the emergency by jumping into your car and being there is even lower.

my parents didn't have a cell phone and i'm alive and well.

i don't have a cell phone and i travel from Pittsburgh to Cleveland without one.

i'll walk off an leave a first date there alone on the SECOND CALL THEY ANSWER.
 DoubleParked
Joined: 10/22/2008
Msg: 51
Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 11/15/2011 4:38:53 PM
When I am socializing with a person who is right in front of me, and I WANT to be with them, I turn my phone OFF. If there happens to be a call I might be waiting for or I'm ' on call' in regard to a child/other issue, I would put it on vibrate and excuse myself to take the call.

However, I am from a generation that did NOT grow up with a phone in my pocket. So, I was educated by my granddaughter, who, when we were at lunch together , would periodically check her phone. When I somewhat testily asked her if she was waiting for some important call, (rather than giving her attention to US), she calmly told me she had to be back to work by one o'clock and was just checking the time!
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 53
Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 11/15/2011 6:33:07 PM

WTH is up with people checking their phones throughout a date?


Like accountants are more comfortable with spreadsheets than people; these people are more comfy with phones than people. I had a girl do it on a date with me, and thoght it weas rude. The funny thingis that she was constantly texting ME while she was out with some other dude too!!

*shrugs*

Nice to seem popular, even though you fail to connect with your immediate surroundings so well doing that


Boy, you must be popular


Should have added the words; "seem popular" and "finally hu?"

To me; that would be the same kind of compliment as a girl saying "you're so large" or "you're the best I ever had in bed"
 concertlover31
Joined: 10/9/2011
Msg: 54
Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 11/16/2011 9:39:03 AM
some people use cell phones on a date as:

1. a crutch

2. a baby blanket

3. a cigarette

4. a source of security

ever been on a date where the other person is LOOKING AROUND?
same thing. it says "i'm sooo insecure that i need to see if anyone sees me with this person or i'm sooo rude i can't even pay attention to what my new date is saying."

people fail DATING 101 for so many reasons. these are just some.

ps Cowboy sucks
 ricanfreaknphenom
Joined: 10/22/2011
Msg: 55
Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 11/16/2011 1:52:56 PM
people are always on their cell phones and theyre just usually trying to look more important than they really are. It annoys me as well
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 57
Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 12/1/2011 7:31:00 AM
Cell phones and the first date:

I find it rude and it's my major number 1 pet peeve on a date when people answer their cellphones on a date. It's plain ignorant, rude and disrespectful because you are taking the time to meet and the least that can be done is ACT RIGHT. Which means while the person is with you till the end of the date, socialize with them and put away your cell, unless it's kids or family calling I can understand but come on ACT RIGHT. Put it on silent or vibrate and check after the date. Don't even get me started oops too late...

In Toronto on Tuesday I was dying of laughter in my head about how so many people are with their cells in hand sitting down checking every update on their cells. I saw like 10 people on one bench in the mall and all of them had cell in their hands checking so hard. Comes to show what cell phones do to ya * smh *
 nikkisenko
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 58
Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 12/1/2011 6:27:14 PM
I have two cell phones, my personal one and my work one. The one for work has to be checked when it goes off. Sometimes, it is just text messages with information. But, if I get a call, someone has gotten hurt and I HAVE to take it right away.

My personal cell is my communication with the kids. Now, my children know when I am headed off to a date. I'm ok with a quick text if they have a question about something. But, if I started getting slaughtered with texts/calls from them, we would have a serious conversation when I got home. To date, they have always respected my time away.

Frankly, I don't get a ton of messages on either one. But, there has been the occasional evening where issues are constant. Regardless, I will at least check the phone to see who it is or what is going on. Mindless chatter etc. does not get a response from me.

To me, it isn't an either or situation. It is moderation. I would expect the same from my date.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 59
Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 12/1/2011 7:23:39 PM
I don't care what excuse you use for having a cell phone almost surgically attached to your body. If you can't survive a couple hours without it, you aren't dating material. Stay home and cuddle with your crackberry and wait for messages.



nikkisenko:
I have two cell phones, my personal one and my work one. The one for work has to be checked when it goes off.


If you are married to your job and not allowed any "you" time, don't consider dating until you are retired.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 61
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Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 12/2/2011 8:21:37 AM
I think top_hill has a very reasonable attitude about this. As the ancient Chinese philosopher said, "All things in moderation."

Young people who can't stop texting to save their lives, yes, that's rude.. People who would have a long phone conversation while out on a date, yes, that's rude. Answering the phone once or twice, having a very brief conversation, and apologizing for the distraction -- no problem, at least for me.
 hoyos
Joined: 8/16/2011
Msg: 63
Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 12/2/2011 8:56:49 AM
Life was so much simpler before cell phones.
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 64
Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 12/2/2011 9:36:54 AM
Cell phones...hmmm, guess where I come out, is you shouldn't answer it.

I have a number of cell phones, some for business, 1 for personal use. 99 out of 100 times I only have the personal use one with me.

Most of us remember when cell phones were either too expensive or less a part of our lives than today. I'm sorry, calls for an emergency I can understand. But when you recieve a call or far worse texts, for me it's over.

I think there is an element at work of "self importance" that didn't exist a while ago. We must text, tweet and update our FB status for what reason? I'm sorry, where you are at the moment, your personal views posted as a tweet, is beyond vain, on a date.

"If it bothers you, why not just say something to that person?"

Well to me, it says something about how important I will be in their lives should we continue to date. That's one of the things I want to know or figure out on a first date. THAT'S why I don't mention it before the date.

As for saying something to that person, if it wasn't an emergency, I usually do. Buh-bye!
 ForumsGee
Joined: 2/26/2009
Msg: 65
Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 12/2/2011 11:00:44 AM
My last LTR was continuously on the phone, texting, checking a blackberry that kept notifying him messages..found out later he was on several dating sites and that was the reason!
 nikkisenko
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 66
Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 12/2/2011 2:43:29 PM

If you are married to your job and not allowed any "you" time, don't consider dating until you are retired.


Wow! How negative! I pointed out that it is pretty rare that my "off-time" is majorly interrupted by business. But, it does happen sometimes. I probably get phone calls once or twice a month, text messages anywhere from four to six a night.

I am a Safety manager. If they are calling or texting me, someone at the plant is HURT. They may need SERIOUS medical attention. Were I not to respond, my job would literally be on the line and I would personally have to explain to the executives...."Oh, well, I was on a date, so I couldn't be bothered to address the problems you have entrusted me to handle". I have 3 kids to support. That trumps all. Sometimes, it sucks. But, it is the job that I have right now. So, the occasional interruption of a text or phone call, I can handle.

I would hope anyone I would care to date would be able to understand that I do have responsibilities in life outside of dating. I expect to extend the same courtesy to them. In fact, if they didn't, we would not be compatible.

If I was just texting my friends, taking phone calls and yakking with family at random, THAT, in my opinion, is rude. Anything else is just life.
 lotustemple
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 67
Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 12/2/2011 3:06:24 PM
^^^nikkisenko, are you literally on call 24/7, 365, isn't that illegal?

Once i thought cell phones to be beyond annoying, now they are my friend. Because rude people are no longer cloaked for long at all. Give anyone a cell phone or similar gizmo and their level of respect and sophistocation becomes clear on one date.
 nikkisenko
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 68
Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 12/2/2011 4:13:24 PM
Essentially, yes, but I honestly don't know of any manufacturing manager who isn't. It isn't illegal. We are all salary and it is just part of the job.

My position isn't really that bad. I don't get interruptions very often. The production managers on the other hand, they get phone calls every night.
 _allen_
Joined: 6/14/2009
Msg: 69
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Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 12/2/2011 4:32:52 PM

If you are married to your job and not allowed any "you" time, don't consider dating until you are retired.


Wow, count me out of the dating scene then. Me, my phone, and my job are all joined to the hip at this point in my life.

Back on topic, I keep my manners in check during dates, personal meetings, and business meetings. The phone stays in my pocket, on vibrate until the meet/date is over. Then and only then will I bury my head into the soft glow of it's LCD screen.

I expect my date to show me the same courtesy. Unfortunately, this hasn't been the case in a lot of my first meets. This is also the reason, why I don't schedule second dates either.
 lotustemple
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 70
Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 12/2/2011 5:37:29 PM
Wow, count me out of the dating scene then. Me, my phone, and my job are all joined to the hip at this point in my life.


Ya know, the more time i spend on the internet the more money i make, however part of being self-employed is knowing when work is over. Strive to be balanced in life, and all will fall into place.
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 71
Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 12/2/2011 6:03:17 PM
Back on topic, I keep my manners in check during dates, personal meetings, and business meetings. The phone stays in my pocket, on vibrate until the meet/date is over. Then and only then will I bury my head into the soft glow of it's LCD screen.
--------------------------------------------------
That's the kind of manners that I'm talking about, Acting Right which is proper. I don't mind the whole checking the phone, cuz when I'm out with friends I'll do that do or when I'm in church I'll pull a quick check. But on dates or at work when it's crazy, my phone stays in my pocket unanswered or put away.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 72
Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 12/3/2011 1:58:25 PM
Constantly checking your phone is very rude & shows your interest is not on your date! If a guy texted during the date I would leave. If you have to check your phone, or check in w/your kids, do so when you go to the ladies/mens room.
 grandmacheri
Joined: 11/6/2011
Msg: 74
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Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 12/4/2011 5:59:36 AM
Since the invention of the "smart phone" most guys can't find their way to the mens room without it! How sad is that
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 75
Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 12/4/2011 11:13:38 AM
I reread the thread, and some of the posts behind me. Sad really.

There are any number of posts that clearly state, my phone is more important to me, than the date I'm seeing. So then why date? You already have a SO, your phone.

Then there are those with the excuses. Yeah but... they all seem to begin, as though somehow, their lives are so very different than the person they are seeing. I doubt it's validity, whatever the excuse.

Then we have work. Well in some cases, I guess that could be so. Even then dates can be made at optimum times, when work is less likely to call. Still I don't really believe that! I doubt we have surgeons a plenty on call, for critically important operations, or some similar professions. No these people simply use a better excuse.

If where sandy is hanging out tonight, or that bill is bored while playing pool, or you need to see how that game is turning out, and can't wait until you get home. You shouldn't waste most people's time! You are self centered and a jerk.

Perhaps the best since it seems, some of you think I am wrong, a statement would be in order before the date. Just say "hey I'll go out with you, but if my friends text me, or call, I'm gonna text back or take it". Then at least they know where they stand on your pecking order.

Never make somebody a priority, when priority to them is their phone.
 kmxplore51
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 77
Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 12/4/2011 11:57:24 AM
When on a date, I only answer my cell phone for the following people:

i) My son
ii) My daughter
iii) Friends of my son: if they want to find out where he is
iv) Friends of my daughter: if they want to find out where she is
v) My ex: if she wants to find out where my son is
vi) My ex: if she wants to find out where my daughter is
vii) Teachers : if they want to find out the status of kids homework
viii) Girlfriend of my son: if she wants to find out where my son is
ix) Boyfriend of my daughter: if he wants to find out where my daughter is
x) Boyfriend of my ex: if he wants to find out where his girlfriend's kids are
xi) My boss
xii) My poker buddies: if they want to find out where the next poker game is
xiii) My soccer buddies: if they want to find out where the next soccer game is
xiv) My book club friends: if they want to find out the next book we are reading
xv) My Hiking group: If they want to find out the details of our next hike
xvi) My ex-girlfriends: if they want to find out that I am still happy without them.
xvii) And of course, the president

Otherwise, I am totally focused on my date. Ooops… excuse me, my cell phone is buzzing…..
 NuMeNow
Joined: 12/21/2008
Msg: 78
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Cell phones and the first date
Posted: 12/4/2011 3:53:09 PM
I find it to be rude and disrespectful, but that’s only my opinion. As first impressions are important, I am definitely not impressed if my date is constantly checking/picking up calls/texts.

I personally silence/switch off my cell phone during a first date/meet for the same reason I do not subscribe to call waiting. If I am in a conversation with someone I want to give them my full attention and not be distracted/interrupted.

Whatever did we do before cell phones???

In most cases there will not be an emergency. If you have to be in constant contact for work, kids, etc., then explain that to your date and excuse yourself to check messages.
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