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 bradentonpooh
Joined: 4/8/2009
Msg: 89
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Girlfriend going on holiday with her male friend.Page 6 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
I think this guy wants her to say at least. He is looking for some privacy with her by having a nice vocation. I think she is opened to him and enjoys a little romance and sexual activity. It looks to be that he tries to win her by buying gifts and taking trips and looks like he is having some success. He knows how to ride the madam.
 varinia
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 90
Girlfriend going on holiday with her male friend.
Posted: 9/20/2009 7:56:47 PM
There are a number of red flags that would let me run for the hills, if it was my SO.
Dirty dancing with another in front of me? Going on vacations and having stuff bought by a 'friend'? Not cool. Disrespectful. So, just because he has more money than you it's ok for her to accept everything?

Now, I do have to say, that you are in the UK. Having grown up in Germany, I know that European relationships between men and Women are very different than in the U.S., and I believe most of the posters here are in the U.S./Canada. I had a bunch of platonic male friends in Germany and it was perfectly normal. In the U.S. it seems that there always seems to be some kind of sexual/romantic overtones when men and women are relating with each other. So, please keep that in mind when you're reading the answers here.

I don't know how the times have changed in that regards in Europe. I know I couldn't handle your situation now, but maybe I've been in the U.S. too long.
 MsBehavin1959
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 91
Girlfriend going on holiday with her male friend.
Posted: 9/20/2009 8:25:47 PM
Hey OP...I know this is no joking matter for you so I am going to tell you of my experience with a very good male friend. He and I went to Mexico together and we had a blast...as FRIENDS~! Yes, it is possible for men and women to be just friends. NO, he was not gay! If she wanted him, why would she be with you. If she has known this guy for several years as you indicated..then she sees him as a friend, nothing more. Not sure why we haven't figured out that yes men and women can be "Just Friends" with no strings attached. Your woman is with you and yes maybe on her part it isnt' too cool to leave you home. Personally, I would have taken you along as well. Did you even suggest that?
 head.cloud123
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 94
Girlfriend going on holiday with her male friend.
Posted: 9/20/2009 9:30:25 PM
Dump her. Seems like common sense to me.
 MyFunIsAnArtForm
Joined: 7/29/2007
Msg: 95
Girlfriend going on holiday with her male friend.
Posted: 9/20/2009 9:52:38 PM
If you like being 2nd best and drama your doing the right thing.
Otherwise invest your feelings in someone else.
 MsBehavin1959
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 96
Girlfriend going on holiday with her male friend.
Posted: 9/20/2009 10:11:01 PM
Hummmmmmm so if she went on holidays with a gal friend would that be ok? Look out they might be into each other..what it all comes down to is TRUST ..if you don't feel that you can trust her in your heart, then its time to move on. If she has never before ever given you any reason do doubt her..then why now?
 majyk1
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 99
Girlfriend going on holiday with her male friend.
Posted: 9/20/2009 10:37:14 PM
First, I think she is disrespectful for accepting when she has a BF.

Second, Maybe SHE is his friend and he likes her. OR They really are friends. I mean after all even you said they've been friends for YEARS.

More importantly, this is about trust. Either you trust HER or you dont! If you dont then you shouldnt be with her anyway!
 heartseekertrue
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 101
Girlfriend going on holiday with her male friend.
Posted: 9/21/2009 4:49:34 AM

[I've gone on vacation with a woman friend and it was just a vacation with a woman friend.

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar]



LOLOLOL

....but honey, can i put it in your humidor??????
BTW Hilary, i did NOT have SEX with THAT woman....
 anyoneoutthier
Joined: 3/19/2007
Msg: 102
Girlfriend going on holiday with her male friend.
Posted: 9/21/2009 5:22:59 AM
If your SO was as serious about you as you are about her she would not get into that kind of a realtionship, sure men and women can be friends but to go away on a vaction together is w not what i would call respect for you. She is all about her slef and you will have a problem with her and this if you stay with her.
 damassteel
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 105
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Girlfriend going on holiday with her male friend.
Posted: 9/21/2009 10:43:49 AM
Uhhhh...Go for the steak???
This is a total no-brainer. WTF??? Have the sense God gave geese and do what you know you have to do.
 textodd11
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 108
Girlfriend going on holiday with her male friend.
Posted: 9/21/2009 12:01:25 PM
OP, you've got to have the least self esteem I've ever seen. Stand up, get smart and stop being such a chump. She's playing you (and probably him as well) so bad it's making my sides hurt from laughing at the level of your douchebaginess. What's her number? She sounds like great "fun" on a date.

Yeah, I have stories too. My ex-wife had male friends that she wanted to "hang out" with and "do things" with and I reluctantly said yes although I told her at the time I wasn't really comfortable with it. Well, guess what? Yep, that's right, that's why she's an EX-wife. Came home from work early one day and saw her "friend" pulling out of my drive way shortly after he had pulled out of my ex-wife's "drive way".

She has absolutely NO respect for you to go away with this guy while she's in a relationship with you.
 Stormwolf
Joined: 2/23/2009
Msg: 109
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Girlfriend going on holiday with her male friend.
Posted: 9/21/2009 1:11:50 PM

Am I being paranoid? or should I be concerned?


Naw! However, before they both go on that holiday, pull him aside and
tell him in confidence ( whisper in his ear) "dude, I don't want to upset her
and want her to enjoy this vacation, however, I just took a series of STD tests
and my doctor is very concerned that I may have a drug resistant syphilis that
my MD won't know for sure until the tests come back next week."
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 116
Girlfriend going on holiday with her male friend.
Posted: 9/21/2009 2:50:27 PM


Im scared if I present myself in anyway standing against this holiday type arrangement, that I will lose her.
And there is a problem with losing her ????

I know, right? Dude... I don't understand why you're concerned about losing her instead of considering whether or not you want her.

She's dishonest (the fraud), she's disgusting and enjoys instigating (the grinding incident), and, either she's using this guy for the things he gives her and does for her, or, she's hoping to finally get with him publicly and using you to make him jealous (though with evident lack of success). I mean any way you slice it, she's just not nice. There is no "she's a good person, but" explanation here.

Now charisma, I am sure she has; I think that's one thing that Knee-Dee got right. Otherwise there's no way she could get away with all this hideous behavior. But character will out, and that has already begun to happen. It isn't going to improve.
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 122
Girlfriend going on holiday with her male friend.
Posted: 9/21/2009 4:18:18 PM
I'm curious, too, Tom and Ice-ey9, but if it had gone well, surely we'd be hearing about the magic bullet that somehow fixed everything... and if it'd make him feel better to talk about it, there'd have been some venting. The other participants don't really need the specifics, do we?

Sorry, london4fun. Best wishes.
 hereshappy
Joined: 7/20/2009
Msg: 123
Girlfriend going on holiday with her male friend.
Posted: 9/21/2009 4:43:17 PM
Dude! Start looking for your back-up plan. I knew someone who was married for like 10 years and his wife started inviting her ex boss to dinner parties. Well, long story short their now divorced and she's dating her ex boss.
 Sabrosura
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 126
Girlfriend going on holiday with her male friend.
Posted: 9/21/2009 5:07:22 PM
OP: So wrong on many levels. Tell her to stay with her "friend" who loves to shower her with gifts and trips.

I don't have any male "friends" that do that...............

You can do better!

 Surf.Sun.Fun
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 135
Girlfriend going on holiday with her male friend.
Posted: 9/23/2009 1:00:18 AM
I had this same thing happen to me once, and I gave her a chance to tell him she wasn't going to be able to make it. After about 4 days, we had a talk...I let her know I was not going to be happy with it at all. She said, "Nothing will happen" etc etc. They had already had sex before we met, so the history didn't make her look very good.

Long story short, I broke up with her, on the spot, and told her until she figures out that just because she is gorgeous, men won't be begging to knock her door down for what she truly wanted, and that she should get this whole pile of crap out of her system before she lost another good man.

I don't put up with that b.s.

Bottom line, dude, break up with her hard, cold and flat. Turn around, walk away, and I guarantee you she'll be left standing there wondering what she just lost.
 anyoneoutthier
Joined: 3/19/2007
Msg: 136
Girlfriend going on holiday with her male friend.
Posted: 9/23/2009 3:48:08 AM
If he was a true friend he wouldnt put her in that kind of a postsion where she puts her slef in a compromissing postsion.
 BACHELOR02
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 137
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Girlfriend going on holiday with her male friend.
Posted: 9/27/2009 5:58:01 PM
If she's not an employee, his company will probably only pay for one room which they will have to share which means there's at least a 50/50 chance they will have to sleep in the same bed. And if there's a water shortage they might have to shower together. If they go out on the town and she has too much to drink, I'm sure he would not try to take advantage of her. I'm sure you have nothing to worry about, but be careful, if your girlfriend tries to sell you a bridge!
 read2009me
Joined: 8/18/2009
Msg: 138
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Girlfriend going on holiday with her male friend.
Posted: 9/27/2009 6:42:15 PM
The least of your concerns is the money issue. If she is truly in love with you, your lack of wealth does not factor in for her. Obviously when you met her she already had this long standing friend. Just because you have come into the picture does not mean she should turn her back on her friend just because of his gender. I personally have a guy friend that I spend a great deal of time with. We have known each other from high school. And yet we are just that - friends. My concern for you is this -- do you have trust issues that have nothing to do with her ? Tell her how you feel and let the communication flow.
 yna6
Joined: 1/21/2007
Msg: 140
Girlfriend going on holiday with her male friend.
Posted: 9/30/2009 2:22:08 PM
Maybe the "rich guy" can start kicking in on the bills a bit! Two guys...one girl....so what? As long as ALL are happy with it, there should be NO raised eyebrows from society.
But there will be, won't there?
Time to bail dude. Her "friend" is more than a friend. Has been for awhile. But, in some way, he doesn't "measure up" to what she wants...whereas YOU do. Probably in bed.
Therefore she has the task of satisfying him (while receiving these fantastic gifts) and satisfying you. If you are satifyed with her...leave it be. You are "sharing a woman." If you feel uncomfortable with that. or feel "shortchanged" in some way, then discuss it with her, see if she is willing to do more for you. Otherwise, get out of it.
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 141
Girlfriend going on holiday with her male friend.
Posted: 9/30/2009 2:25:42 PM

did the op ever post what happened when the girl returned...

Not in so many words, but he said Tom won - it's right here on this same page - so I guess she was able to put him at ease about it.

*shrug*

Beats me...
 hogrally
Joined: 2/16/2009
Msg: 142
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Girlfriend going on holiday with her male friend.
Posted: 9/30/2009 2:41:32 PM
Hey
For what it is worth my best friend is a guy. If anything sexual was going to happen between us it would have years ago. Give your sweetie the benefit of the doubt. Finding people to date who are not threatened by our friendship is not easy. Sounds like your g/f has run into as many skeptics as I have.
 InNCsearching
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 145
Girlfriend going on holiday with her male friend.
Posted: 9/30/2009 4:00:01 PM
hahaha. straight men cannot be friends with women...PERIOD. women can but men can't but by her doing this and if you all are somewhat serious, it shows no respect for you all as a couple. back out of this one dude before you lose a lot more than just sleep.
 folsomboy
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 151
Girlfriend going on holiday with her male friend.
Posted: 10/9/2009 3:24:33 PM
Are you a wussy girly man??? Why would you even ask the question?? This woman is obviously not into YOU and your in lala land?! Theres way to many good healthy women out there that know what it takes to be in a loving relationship with respect and integrity.. question is about you? Why would you put up with that type of behavior and not say see ya later alligator? It sounds like to me you've enabled this behavior of this selfcentered person! My thoughts are never show jealousy, it only does the opposite of what you desire, instead just say BYE and get a new respectful girlfriend.
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