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Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 42
PhD Dating and dating PhD'sPage 2 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

I need to think about this some more!

Don't overthink it!


O is time in seconds in state of orgasmic excitment

Unless they are multiple...just sayin'...
Joined: 2/26/2009
Msg: 49
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PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 1/13/2010 12:20:15 PM
I have one and find it intimidates and scares away the dumber, more stupid gals. It's too bad sometime because maybe you've lost a nice encounter of some kind. But no I don't need to date a Ph.D.. Just a neat gal would abae nice.
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 53
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PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 1/23/2010 4:11:36 AM
I remember back in high school being told that our world was run by the best and the brightest,the smart cookies who had all the answers and were leading us into a bright future...looking at the world 30 years later i'm not so sure.
Joined: 12/6/2009
Msg: 55
PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 1/24/2010 9:26:16 AM
I dated a PHD man in a field that I am fascinated with. In the month that we went out, he never once initiated or continued any topic related to it. In fact he didn't really discuss anything, it was very boring. He and his PHD wife had divorced.

I don't have a phood and don't think it is important for a match, however I have met very nice guys on line that make decent money that don't have an education and their poor grammar skills in speech drive me nuts and ultimately I can't continue.

People "alls" is NOT a WORD. Alls I need is someone with a basic grasp of the English language. NO
Joined: 12/6/2009
Msg: 56
PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 1/24/2010 12:50:01 PM
Quietjohn2, thanks for the site, I will be looking into it shortly. I don't understand what the All As concept is though? You are saying that one could say "all as I want is to eat dinner" instead of "all I want is to eat dinner"?
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 59
PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 1/25/2010 8:02:46 AM
It depends on what the PhD is in.

Penal hard drive. We settled that one awhile ago.

Alls ahm tryin' ta say, is the letters should fit tha meaning, know what ah mean?

Happy now, Love?

We use the contraction here, too, in the South...gotta love the vernacular...
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 60
PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 1/25/2010 9:37:01 PM
@ Lovemangler

Spelling, grammar, the use of English, is immaterial.

No one has said this. Except you. When, you posted.

What I see is an unsubstantiated claim that "alls" is a word

Lesson, in the vernacular...

From Merriam-Webster:

Main Entry: 1ver·nac·u·lar
Pronunciation: \v?(r)-'na-ky?-l?r\
Function: adjective
Etymology: Latin vernaculus native, from verna slave born in the master's house, native
Date: 1601
1 a : using a language or dialect native to a region or country rather than a literary, cultured, or foreign language b : of, relating to, or being a nonstandard language or dialect of a place, region, or country c : of, relating to, or being the normal spoken form of a language.

Sometimes, some people post, like OMG!, the way they talk.

seeing he failed to come up even with one authentic example of its usage

Uhm...yes he did. He even explained, the derivative of such.

You guys, by ignoring the truth, either did not care enough about the proposer's seriousness or his persona, or you let it go because... I really don't know why.

See, definition of "vernacular". RE: Sometimes we type, the way we speak. It gives more personality to the posts, at least in my opinion...

Have you ever taken a linguistics class? One of the first things, my professor taught me, was that the English language is a "myriad of multitudes, since it draws from such a diverse source of roots, and blossoms...hence there is "no such thing, as a made up word, in the English language..."

Yes, I see I am to blame; I don't fall for BS, I argue (quite inappropriately in my stance and approach, or even in my skepticism) that shroazsdpfghaeuhyepuhy cannot be an English word. But I bow to the reasoning of you, highly respected Ph.D.-s and professional researchers because there are so many dialects in English that all phoneme combinations imaginable are words in the English langue.

Oh...get over yourself. Who is blaming you? And for what exactly?

Here, have a beer...

Lighten up, my dear...

Try to enjoy, a bit of fun and camaraderie...
Joined: 1/22/2010
Msg: 62
PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 1/26/2010 3:01:14 PM

For those who have obtained a Ph.D., is it essential to date someone who is educated to an equivalent level?

Not at all. Personality, interests, lifestyle issues weigh in as well as academic achievements.

I would not have thought it important at all but it always seems to breed an inferiority complex.

I don't think you should be intimidated. However, there are those ultra educated people whom define their personal identity and worth via academic credentials, and that can be a problem. So what, if it's not a match. Move on.

Can people merely not converse without reflection as to what one does for a living or how one is educated?

It's embedded in social culture that people judge each other based on occupation and education. And it's not going away too soon.
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 65
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PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 1/28/2010 8:12:37 PM
I don't ask people about their profession or education when I meet them. I get to know them as a person. I avoid discussing that about myself, too. There's plenty of time to fill in those details later. What I want to know when I meet someone is: are they interesting? Are they kind? Are they crazy?

That being said, I find I'm drawn to guys with Ph.D.s. I'm drawn to intelligent men and I notice there's a quality about them that I find very attractive. Perhaps there's something about the process that either breeds certain qualities or filters others out. Myself, I'm not degreed but I have significant education gotten in other ways and I've got an above average I.Q., if you want to use that as a level of measurement. Lots of my friends have been Ph.D.s and I can hold my own in conversation with the best of them. People often think I'm some sort of educator.

I think the level of formal education is less important than intelligence. If there's a significant gap, it may present a problem sooner or later.

BTW, I do *not* click so well with J.D.s. As for the M.D.s, it depends. They draw different kinds of people and the process is different. We all have certain kinds of people we're drawn to and I'm definitely drawn to Ph.D.s.
 Island home
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 66
PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 1/28/2010 8:36:22 PM
I always take degrees into account
Like the degree people
Consider others

and probably the degree to which they do what ever they do
Joined: 12/3/2007
Msg: 69
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PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 2/11/2010 6:27:42 AM

The quality of a person is bore out in their actions not by the medal on their chest or the paper framed on their wall.

Ya, but it took a lot of action by a person to earn the piece of paper on the wall or the medal on the chest. So the activty of owning the degree or the medal must in some way determine the person that you are. Unless you mean something like you're only as good as your last award. But I don't really agree with that either. Do olympic athletes rest on their laurels during the three years, fifty weeks and one day they're not competing on television and winning gold medals? I just don't see how a multi year process of preparation can have no effect on the person that you are unless we are all in a process of redefining ourselves by the second.
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 70
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PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 2/11/2010 12:07:02 PM

In the end a Ph.D. is nothing but a piece of paper to stick on a wall.
It sure is in the person I know who has a Ph.D in Sociology. She's a huge social misfit which indicates to me that she wasn't paying attention when she prepared and wrote her dissertation.

Someone needs to tell me how in the hell someone can crown herself with a Ph.D on dating and not gain a single thing from it. What it tells me is that she is more than capable of sitting on her fanny and writing all that shyte and not absorb a single bit of it.

Seems to me that we already have robots that can do that sort of thing ... they're called computers.

OT ..
I could care less what level of education a person has as long as they are capable of intelligent conversation. Also, if they can't be bothered with taking some interest in my interests (because it's a two-way street), then where's the compatibility?

What if you get two Ph.D's together and all they know is to talk about their own specific topics? The point is ... all that is really guaranteed with a Ph.D dating another Ph.D is that they each wrote a dissertation and have a piece of paper to hang on the wall.

I'd rather be involved with someone who shares my interests in music and the outdoors and matches me religiously and politically. The last thing I need is some religious zealot and/or flaming Neocon ...
Joined: 12/3/2007
Msg: 72
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PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 2/11/2010 7:30:22 PM

Let us say you lost your medal or your piece of paper.
Do you also lose the knowledge you gained while in the military or in school?

Let's say I write "Ph.D" on a piece of paper and stick it on my wall. Does that mean I get all of the knowledge, skills, creativity, talent and ability that ph.d students typically aquire? If it does, then I'll believe you.

Absolutely not. As I have stated, it is not the medal or paper that defines the person. Those are only symbols of experiences. I do not need my piece of paper to know who I am and what I have accomplished. It is written in my actions.

So literally, word for word, I totally agree with you. Paper, in and of itself, has very little value. The ink, the flashy stamp in the corner and nice frame mean don't mean very much. Twenty bucks maybe. BUT..."those are only symbols of experience" you say. So, unless you've completely lobotomized yourself, your experiences are part of who you are. Your "actions" over a three to six year period are written on that paper.
Joined: 12/31/2008
Msg: 75
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PhD Dating and dating PhDs
Posted: 2/13/2010 9:37:23 PM
I think what onus and others are saying is that albert einstein and the 5th grade farmer or garbage man have to be able to sit down time after time, like it's the most natural thing in the world, and talk about stuff without airs, and both parties better have an open mind, and not even think about judging each other.

It goes both ways.

like we do on these forums.
Joined: 12/28/2009
Msg: 79
PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 2/25/2010 9:10:10 PM
As someone who is only on his *way* to getting his PhD, I can only hope you'll still find some value in my response.

I find it quite difficult dating someone who doesn't have at least a BSci; likely due to the inferiority complex you mentioned. Intended or not, I have intimidated a few women resulting in conversations totally devoid of common ground. They may have been more than able to converse, but felt inferior because of a simple title.

As I'm sure you know, the different pieces of paper we collect are *in no way* a bearing of potential (or otherwise). However, society has deified the degree and as such (incorrectly) correlates to intelligence in many peoples eyes.

Myself, I need a greater level of education as it is important in my life. I'm not interested in pop culture and the like; I'd much rather pull out the latest paper from SIGCHI and blast it with my partner.

I personally doubt dating between extreme educational differences. Don't take my word on that though; it needs to be peer reviewed first ;)
Joined: 12/31/2008
Msg: 82
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PhD Dating and dating PhDs
Posted: 3/7/2010 10:25:39 AM
the question has to do with dating compatibilities, I believe.

the fault for strained communication can lie with either 'side'.

AND if an 'educated' individual can't talk sensibly with proper language of the day in a non condescending way, why, he might not be able to properly communicate with the vast majority of society.

his loss, I would guess.

what do you all think of this statement;
In most cases, if you can't explain something in fairly simple terms, you don't fully understand it yourself.
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 92
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PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 3/19/2010 10:40:27 PM
This thread seems a request to validate intellectual snobbery. As in.. if I'm a PhD and my gf is a coffee barrister am I playing down in my game? Will I have to simplify everything I say?

Oky..ugghh..... the evidence is that women have more trouble playing down than guys do in the cases where intelligence is actually a factor. They can't date dumber guys. Its tuff for them to go out shopping for dinner and have their guy not want to eat falafels because it supports terrorism. Guys are, "okay,.. we can have burritos".

Still- there's also a bunch showing that IQ and lot of the other factors about basic street smart sensibility don't follow awarded degrees. The correlation is not strong. I'd bet on the barrister, and at the end of the day, she has a skill that lots of PhDs appreciate.
Joined: 2/24/2009
Msg: 96
PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 8/21/2010 7:45:07 PM

Also, I just took PhD off my profile, thinking it might be doing more harm than good!

Not nearly as much harm as posting to this discussion could do to you -- if these were still an integral part of the dating site. As it now stands nobody sees the forums except the tiny constituency of people who post here -- and they'll likely never meet anyone anyway.
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 98
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PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 8/27/2010 3:20:01 PM

Mastering a trade and becoming a ph.d are two totally different things. As a lot of people have mentioned, ph.d's are expected to add to the body of knowledge in their field. Doing so requires not only mastery of the field of existing knowledge, but the crux of doctoral work is the original dissertation produced by every candidate. Mastering a trade may require you to know every last component of every last airplane ever built, but the moment you start being "creative" and trying to advance the existing knowledge in your field with original thought, you're going to get yelled at for not following the rules and not doing things in the proven manner and in the way that the people before you who know more than you have decided is the best way to do things. Do you really want plumbers to have ph.d's? Or would you rather they just did things using the proven method? I seriously don't want a creative plumber in my house. I'm not saying there aren't moments in any tradesperson's working life where their tasks may require original thought and creativity. That's what makes good tradespeople and bad tradespeople. But in general, the tasks required of tradespeople stops at knowledge acquisition.

First of all, I admire anyone who can obtain mastery in their particular field although I disagree that there are those without a Master's degree or Doctorate that do not have to get creative and use original thought to complete jobs. Today's blueprints are done by computer and the lack of transparencies have created unworkable plans for large commercial buildings. If it were not for people like my ex those new buildings would not be functional and ready by their expected operating date. He takes the architects unworkable plans and reconstructs AC/Heat duct work lines in a manner that will work. Often building and/or rebuilding the duct on the ground at the site. The facts are that those plans often run into other trades such as plumbing running into electrical work, duct work running over sprinkler systems, etc. You cannot make the plans work as is. They have to be rethought, reworked, and rebuilt in order to have a working building. He has no masters degree or doctorate. He is simply a master at what he does and he is well respected by his bosses and peers when it comes to making something unworkable not only work but at the same time make it aesthetically pleasing.
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 102
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PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 10/20/2010 12:07:47 PM
RE Msg: 178 by Krebby2001:
Ph.D.s, just a form of training ... NOT a transformational device that affects personality, history, or the "essence" of who people are, and how they conduct themselves in social life.
I wish it was. If it was, then I could rely on people with PhDs to be more truthful than I can rely on the words of the average person.

But life is not as I wish.

So I can only treat people with PhDs the same as anyone else.
Joined: 8/8/2007
Msg: 104
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PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 10/30/2010 11:44:01 AM
I remember sitting in a restaurant with a friend, she pointed out this this lady with large breasts and asked what I thougtht. I told her they do grab your attention but what is inside makes you stay.

I have found in my life people will present their letters in one form or another, I look past that so I can see what this person has inside, I need to see that since it is what I am interested in...whats makes this person who they are and more than not it makes me in the movie Hook when that kid looked at the grown up Pan and found the child Pan still inside.
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 108
PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 5/10/2011 6:23:57 AM

Why is that? Do men (who are highly educated) prefer to date/meet women who are drop-dead (drop-alive) gorgeous, rather than women who are [kind-of] attractive, are worldly and NOT boring

Honey, being smart AND athletic and looking good at the beach will get many smart men's initial attention.. Then it is up to you to keep it by showing them yours...
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 110
PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 5/10/2011 8:29:15 AM
I don't even mention my education on my profile because unless
I'm interviewing for a job, I don't see the importance. If someone
doesn't want to meet me because I seem uneducated or whatever,
I'm okei with that. It's been a rare day I've not been able to join in
or keep up with a conversation that I'm interested in.

I do remember when I was on the school committee in my town, there
was a gentleman that was always writing us with some sort of concern or
criticism. He signed his letters Dr. John Doe, PHD, past president
of the Essex PTA. (his name wasn't really john doe...but you know what
I mean) The PHD part made me chuckle but seriously, past president of
the local PTA?

Joined: 7/7/2009
Msg: 112
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PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 7/15/2011 11:07:45 AM
Regarding Ph.D's etc..., I think what is more to the point, is wanting to find someone who has a similar experiences and can appreciate a person's life's path. What I think is lost in this overall discussion is that going for a Ph.D. , especially in sciences, can take up to six to ten years, or more to complete. Very few finish in three or four. The process comes with years of lost income, and often the acquisition of significant debt. And unlike those who go for medical doctorates, the promise of great financial gain is far less certain. Although, some may pursue advanced degrees because they have specific careers in mind, I believe that most pursue it because they are very skilled and inclined towards abstract reasoning, and enjoy the intellectual activity of an academic setting and the sharing of knowledge and interests with others. The motivation is not a financial one. So, quite often, people who pursue advanced degrees, spend many years without being "financially secure" and sometimes not financially stable. Also, to pursue an academic career often requires frequent moving for temporary short-term positions.

I think it much more likely for someone has gone through the years of work, stress, off and on insomnia, to achieve a goal one has passion for, regardless of financial reward, would be best to understand. Rather than a person who just sees his job as a "paycheck." And for those who attempt the academic route, only to have their dreams crash in around them, or experience long delays, and have to start different paths; I feel that the best people who could appreciate are people who put all their life savings and took out second mortgages to start a business they dreamed of starting, only to have it fail, they go bankrupt, and have to start all over.

As a blue-collar intellectual who did complete a Ph.D., who doesn't read books for pleasure, doesn't go in for artsy stuff, and rather be at the local dirt race track watching modifieds or sprint cars, I think that one thing that is in common for many people who pursue Ph.D.s is that they have Beta type personalities, if not full-blown Aspergers tendancies. I think that some of us intellectuals can loosely be described as "Idiot Savants." Brilliant in espousing brainy stuff, but complete wall-flowers in social settings. Often requiring others to get the conversation started.

Geologists like me aren't as stuffy, because we share some traits with artists, and like to go on field trips. It's getting worse though, as more techno-nerds invade the geoscience depts. Parties at Physics departments are complete Blahs! Quantum Physicists and Mathmeticians might as well be aliens from another planet!

All in all, divorcees probably feel more comfortable with divorcees because of common experience. People are comfortable with, and seek out others for what ever reason. But don't always judge a book by its cover!

As Charley Chan says: "Hasty deduction is like ancient egg. Looks good from the outside."
Joined: 5/21/2008
Msg: 114
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PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 7/16/2011 6:49:28 AM
PhD doesn't mean anything to me in the dating or social seen, so PhD are lousy people and are really bad socially, some PhD's are excellent ppl and you can have great conversations with them, in the end ppl with PhD's are like everything else, the PhD just means that they have attained a mastery in there field of study. Its like my uncle, he has mutiple PhD's but socially is really lousy, i'm serious if you had to have a conversation for longer then 30 seconds with this guy you'd probably want to punch him in the face.
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