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Joined: 12/18/2008
Msg: 88
Wife finds porn on computer and....Page 3 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Dude if that is the worst issue you are currently facing than I would say you are doing OK.
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 89
Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 9/27/2009 8:30:56 AM

It's NOT a guy thing. Some men just say that to justify their bad behaviour. I have married friends and friends who are in relationships and their husbands and boyfriends don't degrade them by viewing sluts.

I don't get how it's degrading to the wife to look at "sluts". Guys like looking at naked women and that IS a guy thing. Some women like looking at naked guys and it's the same thing, only we call it a woman thing. Naked people are nice to look at. If they weren't no one would bother. scanning porn, but ignoring the wife... now that IS degrading, but generally.. if you're killing time looking at naked women and do not EVER ignore the wife.. big deal.

I agree that hiding it is stupid, but even if married, we're still allowed to have a few things kept to ourselves... particularly if as a guy.. you know your wife isn't into porn. If she is.. so much the better.

Would you then agree that eating in a restaurant is cheating too? Afterall, he has a perfectly good cook at home... Likewise if the guy can cook, then the wife should never go out for dinner... at a friend's a restaurant or whatever...

M_Church.. we hardly EVER agree in the forums, but there's a first time for everything... I am SO VERY with you on this one.

I have "porn ADD" saving pictures on my computer isn't something I'm prone to. I see something, I get bored with it quick so I leave it all on the server I find it on.

Same here.. it's all Ooooooooo the first few minutes and then suddenly I feel BLAH about it.

He has a wife he doesn't need to be looking at skanks.

I'm still stuck on this looking = cheating nonsense. Should he invest in a pair of blinders then, so he won't even see other women out in the world (cuz you know some of them really do look like skanks)?

If they're associating with members of the opposite sex, it takes away from a partner and a relationship or marriage as well as family.

UGH.. I have male co-workers, I HAVE TO interact with them.. sometimes even socially. Would I be cheating? I also have male friends and husbands of my female friends that I associate with. IS THAT cheating, too? Most of us have no choice but to interact with the opposite sex on a daily basis.

If you were brought up to think that ANY association with the opposite sex when married is cheating.. then you were done a REALLY REALLY huge dis-service.

Utterly ridiculous.

Unless wives/girlfriends will strip naked/open for sex on command, then porn is here to stay.

Hmm.. I just clued into why I've only ever found a tiny smattering of porn on mine and my previous flames PCs. Cool!

I tell them that CHEATING is wrong, which it is.

While cheating IS very much wrong.. what it isn't is looking at pictures.
Joined: 5/19/2009
Msg: 90
Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 1/5/2010 2:35:27 AM
What is wrong is the hypocrisy of a woman who flips out over porn viewing by her boyfriend/ hubby but has very descriptive romance novels laying around, and porn on HER computer...been there, done that. And when confronted..."thats different" was the response I got. HILARIOUS!
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 92
Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 1/5/2010 1:35:00 PM

My first wife used to watch porn WITH me then as she got older and heavier didn't want to and complained about it because she thought I needed to see HOT chicks...she liked it when she thought she WAS a hot chick....I still thought she was hot, but it was HER perception of herself that changed everything.

Then I had a GF who was smoking hot... but had serious self image issues (as I found out)...she thought porn was cheating and had a hard time letting herself enjoy sex! It took me close to a year to get her to relax enough to really enjoy it...finally got her to allow the lights to be just dimmed....again it was HER self image that was the problem.

The least attractive girl I ever dated was the most fun in and out of the bedroom! She LOVED watching porn and trying new stuff! She didn't care that she wasn't all that hot, she had a healthy self image and enjoyed everything ... it made her much more attractive to me than she was physically.

Interestingly the one whom I had the LEAST inclination to look at porn while in the relationship was the last one! The second one, the most bunged up yet the hottest one was the one I tended to look at or seek out the most porn while in the relationship! least for me it has nothing to do with how HOT they ARE...but more of how hot THEY THINK they are...which is why we always come back to the whole CONFIDENCE is attractive thing.
Joined: 12/28/2009
Msg: 93
Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 1/5/2010 2:28:50 PM
I do not mind "good" porn... So I wouldn't see an issue with it, HOWEVER that being said, I do not mind GOOD porn, in fact I purchase more porn then he ever has, so I may get a bit pi**ed off he was watching it by himself... ( I mean why not just watch it together, or something) But I also have a higher sex drive then most women.
Joined: 12/28/2007
Msg: 96
Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 1/14/2010 8:16:05 PM
Well there's a bit of a porn issue in my household. He and I have been together for 5 years. I found out 3 years later, just happened upon a library of porn material on his computer. At that time he was living by himself, divorced. Of couse
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 97
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Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 1/14/2010 9:47:58 PM
I know, as a victum of experience, which is why I am single and had not had a relationship for 5 years, because my last relationship was REAL until we got a computer and he got into porn on the computer and this help major to destroy our relationship. My last real relationship, which was a real relationship, and ended 5 years ago, he started watching porn on the computer, live Cam Girls etc. Our sex life died because he could not perform with me anymore, because he was jerking off often and spending money on his Cam girls, and I would find his COME kleenix s in the waste basket, because as least he knew you are not to put keenix in the toilet, the plummer told me this. Eventually, but painfully abruptly he told me he was moving out of my house, without a reason except, he "wants to see other girls". His seeing other girls were mostly paid girls on cam. He did date sometimes real girls and they were all overweight, all looked plain and boring and only one had a somewhat nice face. I am sure the girls he dated gave him BJ s, because most girls are trained and brainwashed to do that. I do NOT do oral But that was NEVER an issue when we were together. What do guys watch on paid Cam? Girls doing various forms of masturbation. No SANE girl in real life should ever be masturbating for guy so he can jerk off . He NEVER asked me to do that and I would NEVER do that. I really doubt the ugly girls he dated would ever do that. This is just my bad experience with a man who got into porn and it destroyed our relationship and I have not yet met anyone to have a real relationship since him..
Joined: 7/2/2008
Msg: 99
Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 1/15/2010 2:15:32 AM

Men are visual creatures...
I get soooo tired of hearing and seeing that. It doesn't really say or justify anything except in the mind of those who say it. It means absolutely shit. Hell I'm very visual too - guess I must be a guy then.

I watch porn occassionally... very occassionally. I have two videos in my personal stash, have watched them about twice. Overall I've seen less than 10 porn videos in my life and haven't seen any online pornographic - but that latter part is only because I share my computer with kids. I don't mind porn but I would prefer their use of it to be around the same usage as mine.

I think most male-oriented and male-directed porn porn sucks. Did I mention that I too was a visual creature? I would like to see porn with more beautiful backgrounds and scenary - I love beaches and waterfalls or a meadows or just beautiful nature scenery. Lot more sexuality with more kissing and caressing. And couple that with nice toned full figures females and muscular male of color. Apparently this is not what men are attracted too. There needs to be more female-directed porn directers - but they would probably cater to the male demographic. I wouldn't mind directing porno catering to the type that I like.

As it stands, I'd rather watch a sexually charged and sexually erotic movie or a scene in a movie than actual porn. But I wouldn't knock a guy with a porn stash on his computer or somewhere in his house - as long as it is not disturbing to me. Underage or children will get the police called or turned over to the police. Hardcore S&M and animals could severe the relationship. I think I could handle most of much else.

The problem with porn in relationships - is that women often take it personal when a guy has a penchant for porn. She's scared into thinking that either he wants that type of women in looks or that type of woman in sexual compatibility. And men don't really alleviate a woman's fears about this - they often want to try what they seen in a porn video or get a woman who will do whatever they saw in a porn video. No wonder women have a problem with it. She doesn't want to go beyond her boundary of doing something she is not comfortable with. I can't even tell you how to reconcile that because I don't require men to do what I've seen them do in a porno.... well not the ones I've seen anyway.
Joined: 10/6/2009
Msg: 100
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Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 1/15/2010 4:44:14 AM
Um, nothing wrong with porn. And, if you don't want your wife to find the porn, have separate accounts (and make yourself an admin account, while she has a regular account). Another solution is to have separate computers. Of course, the best solution is to get a new, non-high-strung female.
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 101
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Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 1/15/2010 4:28:24 PM
I got busted once, and it was a big deal to Mrs. High and Mighty. I did a quick scan of deleted files, and wow what do you know. Someone had been frequenting "lonely housewives" themed porn. Not to meet people but just kinda you know. Plumber comes to the door. Etc etc.

LoL yeah she wasn't quite so righteous after that.

hypocracy. It's so cute.

Joined: 9/7/2009
Msg: 102
Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 1/15/2010 8:39:03 PM
i guess its better than her finding pof on your computer. hehehe
Joined: 10/24/2005
Msg: 103
Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 1/16/2010 4:00:35 PM
OMG i cant get over this fact that ...that people think looking at porn is cheating .... last i knew i wasnt getting and STD from a magazine or from some picture .. alot of you people really need to lighten up and try some new experiences .... god .. and alot of men wouldnt need to look at porn if alot of women would get their heads out of their a**es and try new things to please their partner .... and with the new world of technologies and internet its like every where you look ... only one can imagine what the future of the porn industry is going to look like .... if thats todays biggest pet peeve then damn i will be single forever ... unless i find out of the thousands out there that like freakier things lol .
Joined: 1/7/2010
Msg: 104
Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 1/18/2010 6:16:38 PM

purrtypurr: After looking at your profile and seeing the lovely wife standing beside you, it just boggles me why you need constant visual porn stimulation to get you going; it sounds like you have become addicted to porn, and in that case I would say get yourself some counseling....I mean sneaking behind your wife's back to watch it indicates you need help......marriage is supposed to be built on trust.....or is it?
Not TOO judgmental there, are you? I'll try to make it as simple as I can for you, OK?

Most men like to jack off occasionally. Visual aids help. The end.
Joined: 1/7/2010
Msg: 105
Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 1/18/2010 6:25:00 PM

curios212: TND - Did it ever occured to you that the "NO" could mean something else?

Great googly-moogly!!! All these years feminist women (and don't get me wrong, here; I support Feminism wholeheartedly. My ex used to belong to NOW) have been saying "NO MEANS NO!!!" No(w) I find out it can mean something entirely different!

Man, I'm soooo confuzzled...
Joined: 1/10/2010
Msg: 106
Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 1/19/2010 4:50:40 PM
I am weighing in on this from a different standpoint.

I am a guy and my last relationship was hurt by porn. Not in that she had an issue with it - she enjoyed watching it herself. Not that she ever confronted me with it or asked me to stop watching it. I know now, however, that it was the cause of some intimacy issues between us. I still wonder today (its been over 2 years since we split) if a little less time watching and little more time with her could have helped us.

One of several things I vow never to let happen again. Porn in a relationship is only really OK if it is shared between partners.
Joined: 7/21/2008
Msg: 108
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Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 1/20/2010 5:47:26 PM
Gets a divorce!!
Seriously. Do Amazonian tribespeople require porn? They do not have a culture of worshipping images, they don't even understand that a photograph is a real person, it makes no sense to them..... too many of you exist within a Matrix.
Porn is a simulacra, haven't you read Baudrillard?
Welcome to the desert of the real.

All you people that think porn is a bloke thing and is harmless, live in a simulated reality, a prison for your mind. Or gonads, whichever.
If a man truly loves his wife, surely he would have no need for porn, as he would find absolute satisfaction within his marriage.


To say otherwise simply isn't the truth, as porn has only existed as long as printed media. Before that, somehow people managed to conduct relationships and marriages without it. How do you suppose they did that? By investing 100% attention to their marriage, that's how.

If it's natural, then why don't animals need porn?

Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 109
Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 1/20/2010 6:33:49 PM

To say otherwise simply isn't the truth, as porn has only existed as long as printed media. Before that, somehow people managed to conduct relationships and marriages without it. How do you suppose they did that? By investing 100% attention to their marriage, that's how.

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....reaaaaaaaaaaaalllllly?????? I can assure you, my mind is much filthier/raunchier than any porn I know about. Did it occur to you that even WAY back when, people had imaginations and used them? I'm not a fan of porn as it bores me ~ but ~ vanilla sex bores me more, so if it takes someone a little porn to figure out some alternatives to sleeper-sex (for me) ~ he's welcome to it.

If it's natural, then why don't animals need porn?

***Snort*** I so love these analogies. Animals don't need porn cause they breed in droves, in public, whenever they want without limits, boundaries, or worries that how they do it or like it or want it or yada yada will be seen as twisted/perverted or wrong. Why is this? Because they have NO idea it's for any other reason than procreation.
 12 Volt Man
Joined: 1/1/2010
Msg: 110
Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 2/11/2010 3:21:23 PM
"I don't know why some women get their panties in a huge knot over it."

not sure either.

hell, my last GF actually bought me a porno DVD lol
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 112
Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 4/17/2010 3:12:33 PM
ahhh the hypocracy of women and porn...

my ex wife when we first got together- of course she was trying to catch me, so watching porn together was cool.

she was open to it and we did it...even after we got married.

then one day somewhere down the line it was suddenly the worst thing I'd ever done...


then after we'd gotten divorced, sometime later I did not realize I hadn't changed my cable password and such...

she comes at me..."boondock...boondock...I see you are still watching porn...that is soo nasty...i cannot believe you'd still watch that nasty stuff"

rather than make a big deal about her having accessed my online cable bill illegally...

i respond..

"oh no my dear- i was watching those movies with my new young, hotblooded, sexy girlfriend- she likes them more than you did when we were first together!"

that was the last I heard about porn from her...

my advice: don't pander to her self righteousness on the subject of porn. most all have watched it and were turned on by it...either with you or some other buck stud before you. don't make it a big deal or act guilty...

on the other hand - if you are one of those that like to save that stuff for later...expect her to find it...and you will have to deal with her at some point.
Joined: 12/4/2009
Msg: 113
Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 4/17/2010 3:49:32 PM
................. and gets caught with her hand in her pants
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 114
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Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 4/18/2010 11:51:32 AM
porn has become a multy billion dollar business, there is more porn than regular movies
it is just entertainment, and your wife should not be upset , is she your mother, are you a little boy
your not, so go for it
i dont like porn anymore, to many women are shaved, showing my age i guess
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 115
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Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 4/18/2010 11:58:06 AM
just a little thing i did not write down, my ex, caught me watching porn, she gave me hell fire, i got ride of it all, as it turns out, she had a job, that was 24/7, and would often get up in the middle of the night,and guess what she would watch porn on tv
Joined: 3/1/2010
Msg: 116
Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 4/19/2010 12:31:49 PM
To me viewing pron is a form of cheating. I know a lot of people will disagree but its just my opinion
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 117
Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 4/19/2010 12:54:18 PM
If I found porn on my wifes computer (highly unlikely I'll ever be married but that's beside the point), I'd be happy! Just goes to show you how ridiculous some can be. Treating sex like it's some horrible horrible thing is ridiculous. Did some women ever think it can be an excellent tool to IMPROVE your love life? I swear some people don't want to be happy. Then there would be nothing to complain about and how BORING would that be? DRAMA & CONFLICT must be kept high at all times ( I think this is a commandment in the womens handbook).
Joined: 2/1/2010
Msg: 118
Wife finds porn on computer and....
Posted: 4/19/2010 3:13:43 PM

Don't want to hijack the thread but WTF!

This thread reminds me of an old room mate, ...his Asian girlfriend found his porn links, and it was all non-Asians with huge boobs, she was upset, mostly because, "None of those girls look like me!".

He replied,

"That's the whole point!"

He's such a dawg.

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