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 yna6
Joined: 1/21/2007
Msg: 47
Why do bisexual guys not want to admit it?Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
To the OP...cause being "bi" means that EVERYBODY (straight AND gay) thinks you are a perv!
 ohdriver
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 50
Why do bisexual guys not want to admit it?
Posted: 9/27/2009 7:40:44 PM

According to him people were either gay or straight and people claiming to be bi were only greedy

perhaps they're more generous than the rest of us?
 isnuttinfree
Joined: 7/9/2009
Msg: 51
Why do bisexual guys not want to admit it?
Posted: 9/28/2009 3:36:42 AM

Many average, normal, heterosexual people have the potential to become aroused during a routine physical at the doctor's office. Doctors will often even tell patients in advance so as not to be uncomfortable. Stimulation of the genitals from ANYTHING can cause arousal.

You've clearly never had a speculum shoved up your fanny But it figures, you're a bloke.


I've seen women with short hair, gruff voices, and even mild facial hair that dressed in t-shirts and jeans and used masculine manerisms. At first look, they did appear to be male. But if I were to describe one of these women as a man because that's how I perceived her, that doesn't make her a man. It merely makes my description wrong.

Plus she might bash you up


I agree. It is simple and straight forward. If you are heterosexual, you know it, there isn't any confusion or vacilation. The problem seems to come into it when people worry about being judged or stigmatized for being bisexual or homosexual

I don't worry about stigmatization but I know it's harder for men. If I were bi (I'm definitely hetero, or am I?) I wouldn't be ashamed. Me wonders after reading this thread if I'm in the closet


It's proposterous to take the position you know if you are heterosexual but you don't know if you are gay or bisexual. That's a cop out and an excuse so you don't get labelled.

Well if your overwhelming preponderance is toward heterosexuality but exhibit what seem to be bisexual tendencies, that can be confusing. Back to my lez porn post (#26), what do you make of that??? When does one cross the sexual border? Please shed light there if you will. I'll take my own bite in saying if you have an overall attraction (not just sexual arousal) to the same gender then you've earned the right to call yourself bisexual. As someone noted, being aroused by an inanimate object doesn't turn you into a vacuumsexual.

As with hetero, when you think homo you don't generally think it's a half-assed, one foot in and one foot out notion but rather, someone fully attracted to their own sex.
I think the act in itself can be termed bisexual/gay but you have to account for the overall person before you can properly apply those titles. Does preponderance also play a role, should it cover sexual arousal as well, seeing as we're chiefly concerned with humans in all our complexity?

I have to agree with msg 35. Also concur that it isn't a rigid application. People change over time, and bisexuality is more adaptable I think. Not certain homosexuality is, either you are or you aren't? (well a much lesser degree I presume, if at all). Anne Heche the actress was bisexual at one point (ex of Ellen DeGeneres) but reverted to her hetero state (believe she's married). I see that as one phase of her life and not that it necessarily makes her exclusively bisexual.

People love to pigeon-hole, it's clear in this thread, expecting answers to be cut and dried from the limits of their own perceptions instead of acknowledging the broader range of experiences that exist.

Referencing earlier comments, if we as a species are confused about our own sexuality, I don't see why other animals should be immune. We're all just f*cked up (pun) lol.

For example, we know Bill Clinton didn't admit to having sexual relations with Monica becasue he was confused as to the meaning of sex.

Yep he definitely had sex. It's a case of either you did or you didn't. And he is deservedly labelled an adulterer. Clear boundaries are crossed. But labels involving preferences/inclinations are interchangeable. Like religion; an atheist becomes a Christian then reverts back to atheism.
 WesternWildRose
Joined: 9/15/2008
Msg: 56
view profile
History
Why do bisexual guys not want to admit it?
Posted: 9/28/2009 8:26:57 PM
I am surprised that we are still fuelling this thread.

The OP's statement is rather general an inflammatory and 'out there' based on her statement of : ' I known lots of gay men and bisexual men'.
Hardly any scientific study.
 xxxDINOxxx
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 57
Why do bisexual guys not want to admit it?
Posted: 9/28/2009 8:57:57 PM

Try out your theory in a straight bar some time. See how many teeth you get to keep.


Well, whoever did the teeth-bashing would be guilty of a hate crime and sent to prison....where he'd likely have a bit more forceful come-ons to deal with.
 isnuttinfree
Joined: 7/9/2009
Msg: 58
Why do bisexual guys not want to admit it?
Posted: 9/28/2009 11:04:30 PM
Poster 60, you haven't given your definition of "people's need to do so". I agree with msg 33's comment that labelling sexual orientation is only a descriptor of personal characteristic, no more no less. It's more efficient to state "I'm gay" than "I am attracted to men only". Or giving a physical description of your ideal partner, you wouldn't say "Well I want someone not too big, not too little, just somewhere in the middle" ie average/slim/fit. A 'shortcut' saves verbose descriptions. Describing someone as fat, average or skinny is not rude or intended to segregrate, it's merely a fact.
Same as with race. Or referring to someone as happy, sad, angry etc etc etc. It only takes on negative connotations when misused, eg to discriminate or disparage.

You know what they say, the biggest sexual organ is the brain. I think it depends how open an individual is to crossing the threshhold. I'd say for some, once the door is opened, it may be open for good...or it may wax and wane...and for others such as the OP's own experience, it's back out that door, concluding that it's not their scene.

I'm quite clear on what I am - I can't imagine being with my own gender. However unless a straight person finds themself in a position where they can truly question their own sexuality, they can't make a definitive judgement. Confusion loves to follow uncertainty. Maybe one needs to go the whole hog to know for sure. If you had an attractive woman come onto you, might you be affected on some level? I haven't had the pleasure myself.

There's a difference in using imagination as opposed to fantasizing at a sexual level but both require some prior interactive experience to have real foundation imo. I already proposed that arousal on it's own isn't sufficient causality of bisexuality (discounting a serial humper) but requires an all-embracing attraction that I believe centres on whether a sexual act can lead to a general attraction to the same gender, or vice versa, in a particular individual.

All up, genetic predispositions and environment are at play. I tend to believe that bisexuality is a choice. Perhaps definining ourselves as strictly hetero has some similarity to a psychological barrier we impose on someone physically unnattractive to us, that we can't get past.

Regarding Anne Heche, I seem to recall the DeGeneres episode described as a realization that she loved the person, enough to take her beyond hetero boundaries (in addition that DeGeneres is gay, and pursuing her(?)). But critically, it's because she opened up, allowing herself to explore and experiment sexually. Was it only for that point in time? Who knows. As she already had that exposure, it might very well be possible that if she was single she'd be more receptive to a woman's advances than she otherwise would have been.
 justatool
Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 60
Why do bisexual guys not want to admit it?
Posted: 10/4/2009 12:27:59 AM
No such thing as a bi male. If you have touched one that isnt yours, you are gay, case closed.
 SAguy_06
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 61
view profile
History
Why do bisexual guys not want to admit it?
Posted: 12/26/2009 5:59:16 AM

No such thing as a bi male. If you have touched one that isnt yours, you are gay, case closed.


Thats what I thought...why would a male get in the feild of Urology...there should only be women Urologists, and male gynocologist.
 Zebra Circle
Joined: 4/12/2009
Msg: 62
Why do bisexual guys not want to admit it?
Posted: 12/28/2009 6:22:13 PM
I don't understand this. If you are a certain way why not own it?

I'm not being condescending, but are you serious? Do you truly not know why? Anything to do in American society in regard to homosexuality -- particularly male homosexuality -- is taboo. Gay men can get beat up because of their sexual orientation, they can lose their jobs, they can be denied a job, they can be denied entry into the military (ever hear of something called "don't ask, don't tell?"), they can be picked on, and so on, and so on.

A bisexual man knows this, so why do you think he'd risk being ostracized if he can hide it instead? Why do you think so many gay men and women stay in the closet, as well? For the same reasons, that's why. Jeez, look at the laws on homosexuality for Iran. Yikes! Pretty scary.

In a perfect society, yes, it would be nice to own up to being gay or bisexual -- but that's far from reality. Just look at the reactions to people throughout this thread and similar topics on homosexuality and bisexuality. The ignorance, stupidity, and close-mindedness is utterly baffling.


Why do some bisexual men who are actively having sex with men
still insist that they are completely straight? Do they really believe that?

The answer is sort of. And the reason is that it's rare to have a bisexual man who is 50% attracted to both sexes. Instead, you have what is called the Kinsey Scale, derived by Alfred Kinsey, which the following chart illustrates:

Rating: Description:
0 = Exclusively heterosexual
1 = Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual
2 = Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3 = Equally heterosexual and homosexual; bisexual.
4 = Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5 = Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual
6 = Exclusively homosexual
X = Asexual, Non-Sexual

So for a man to think he's straight, he's probably a "1," maybe a "2." Typically, a 2 means that he can get physically or sexually aroused by a naked and horny man, will go so far as to engage in a sexual situation with him, but could never fall in love with a man or have an emotional relationship with another man -- exactly the same way a heterosexual man could never fall in love with a man.

That same man he is sexually aroused seeing naked, he will have no sexual feeling or stirings in the loins if he were to be fully clothed, just walking down the street.

Hope this clarifies things for you. If you have follow-up questions, send me a private message, as these threads can get pretty nasty and ignorant, and I don't wish to participate in that sort of banter. I mean, really, there are nutcases who think that there is no such thing as bisexuality, that bisexuals are just homosexuals in denial. I won't waste my time getting into a debate with someone who has such stupid thoughts.
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 63
Why do bisexual guys not want to admit it?
Posted: 12/28/2009 10:47:19 PM

In a perfect society, yes, it would be nice to own up to being gay or bisexual -- but that's far from reality. Just look at the reactions to people throughout this thread and similar topics on homosexuality and bisexuality. The ignorance, stupidity, and close-mindedness is utterly baffling.

In a perfect society this wouldn't be an issue and there would be no reason to broadcast your sexuality. It seems some people are hell bent on publicly announcing their sexual preference....... like we need to know this, for some reason.

Keep your sex life to yourself and there wouldn't be a straight vs gay vs Bisexual issue.
 new fisherman
Joined: 12/5/2009
Msg: 66
Why do bisexual guys not want to admit it?
Posted: 12/29/2009 4:23:21 PM
Why do bisexual guys not want to admit it?
because they don't want to admit to their gayness
 Zebra Circle
Joined: 4/12/2009
Msg: 67
Why do bisexual guys not want to admit it?
Posted: 12/31/2009 7:49:53 AM

So, I guess the label chosen depends on what scale you're measuring it against. If you're going by the psycological, Kinsley, scale (in a previous post), then you are only bisexual if you are interested equally in the two sexes, but if you're using the dictionary definition, then the proportionate distribution of interest in the two sexes doesn't matter.

Valid point, but from what I've read on the Kinsey Scale (see a few posts above this one for the complete scale, if you're just now joining this thread), I think a "3" simply means a person is equally bisexual. If an indvidual is a "2" or a to a lessor degree a "1," then that person is still bisexual -- just not to the degree of a "3."

For example, say a man considers himself a "3." That man can have the whole spectrum of feelings for a woman -- both physical and mental -- that a heterosexual man (a "0") can. That same man can also have the whole spectrum of feelings for a man -- again, both physical and mental -- that a homosexual man can.
 Zebra Circle
Joined: 4/12/2009
Msg: 69
Why do bisexual guys not want to admit it?
Posted: 12/31/2009 11:32:32 AM
WHITETIGERESS

bisexual means sex with both genders


I agree. But just be conscious of the fact that there are fairly important differences in degrees of bisexuality. Again, see the above posting in regard to the Kinsey Scale (or do an Internet search on this on your own).


They are man enough to have sex with another but not man enough to admit it.
Are they afraid of the stigma? afraid of losing their women? Who know what their issue is.

Let's look at pure homosexuality for a second. In your opinion, why do you think so many men (and women) have such a hard time coming out of the closet? Why the struggle -- and I hope you admit that it is a struggle for gay people -- for them to come out to their own parents and friends? Why does the military have a "don't ask, don't tell" policy? Do you think that perhaps society has a very large negative viewpoint on gays? Heck, let's rephrase that: Do you think the entire world looks down on gays? In Iran, for instance, homosexuality is illegal. Many extremist Catholics look at it as a sin.

So after you answer those questions truthfully, can you maybe see why it might not be so easy for a bisexual man to "be a man" and just admit it? There are a lot of different factors going on here.

 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 71
Why do bisexual guys not want to admit it?
Posted: 12/31/2009 8:49:18 PM

But just be conscious of the fact that there are fairly important differences in degrees of bisexuality. Again, see the above posting in regard to the Kinsey Scale (or do an Internet search on this on your own)

Why should we be conscious of the varying degrees of bisexuality? What's the point? If a guy has sex with a man once a day or once a month, doesn't lessen the fact he is bisexual?

and I hope you admit that it is a struggle for gay people

I will not admit that as fact. If it were true, why are there so many openly gay people? I'd be willing to bet that a very small percent of gay/bisexuals get assaulted - one event (being assaulted) suddenly becomes an epidemic and makes for a great media event and staple for remaining secretive.
I know many gay people and I've not heard of any getting assaulted. Sure, they may get ridiculed but that's no big deal. Who doesn't recieve ridicule for the simplest things in life? That's why we have thick skin.
It's my belief that some prefer to keep their sexuality in the closet to accomodate their ways. I wonder how many women would have sex with a bisexual man had they been told from the get-go he is bisexual?
You can hide behind a veil of fear. But the devious ones who aren't afraid, just manipulative, bring the real issue and exploitation of "fear" to the surface. Just ask my coworker who had a private sexual affair with another man then left his wife and kids for that man. Nobody knew about his bisexuality until he made the arrangements he wanted and achieved the goal he saught. Hence, questionnng the entire motive for being in the closet.

So after you answer those questions truthfully, can you maybe see why it might not be so easy for a bisexual man to "be a man" and just admit it? There are a lot of different factors going on here

Expecting life to be easy is like living in Kansas with Toto, too.

In Iran, for instance, homosexuality is illegal. Many extremist Catholics look at it as a sin

^^^ It's foolish to think one's religious beliefs and morals should be sacrificed for sex. From a heterosexual perspective, it's also wrong to have an abortion in some religions.... that doesn't make the religion a bad religion. If anything, the parishoner/participant is a false practioner if having an abortion and should be viewed as such.
Sex isn't a religion. Nor, should sexual desires supercede the teaching and beliefs of those who have truly devout religious convictions..
 Zebra Circle
Joined: 4/12/2009
Msg: 72
Why do bisexual guys not want to admit it?
Posted: 1/1/2010 10:34:26 AM
My I:

Are you gay? Or bisexual, maybe? If you are, then I will accept your position on this issue.

But you aren't, are you? And with that, you're approaching this from a heterosexual who enjoys the comforts of a society that accepts your sexuality. I will, however, attempt to address some of your questions and points.


Why should we be conscious of the varying degrees of bisexuality? What's the point? If a guy has sex with a man once a day or once a month, doesn't lessen the fact he is bisexual?

Why? Because many people mistake the fact that when they hear that someone is
bisexual that that person likes men and women equally. And that is actually far from the truth. This mistake in thinking, in turn, causes a number of wrong perceptions.


I will not admit that as fact. If it were true, why are there so many openly gay people?

But it is true. How many gay presidents has America had? How many people can register for the army -- to protect you and I -- and openly say that they're gay? How many openly gay people like to live in Southern rural communities?


Sure, they may get ridiculed but that's no big deal.

Said the white, heterosexual man.


It's foolish to think one's religious beliefs and morals should be sacrificed for sex.

But for homosexuals, it's not just sex. It's about an emotional relationship. It's about a man falling in love (not just lust) for another man, or a woman falling in love with another woman. It's about a man being able to hold hands with another man in public, with sharing their deepest most intimate thoughts.

The problem with your statement is that there is no common definition of "morals." Take your abortion stance, for example. It's a topic that has certainly divided this country. Yet I find a great number of pro-choicers to be "moral." They are married, go to work, try to do right, try to raise their children right, and try to do the best they can without hurting you or me.

And when you bring "religious beliefs" into the equation, well, you exclude atheists and agnostics who don't subscribe to religious mumbo-jumbo.


Sex isn't a religion.

It should be, though. From talking to others, those who have a healthy sex life sure seem happier than a trip to a Sunday sermon.

But seriously, you keep hammering away at the sex thing, as if that's what homosexuality is all about. It's not what heterosexuality is all about, and it's not what homosexuality is about. Though sex is certainly a huge part of it -- it's also about love, about relationships, emotions, and such.

You have an obvious fixation on sex between a man and a man (or a woman and a woman) as bad. I'm sorry to hear this. All I can say is that it isn't anything to feel fearful of. Sex between two men (or two women) is a beautiful and moral activity -- just as it is between a man and a woman.
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 73
Why do bisexual guys not want to admit it?
Posted: 1/1/2010 12:25:05 PM
Said the white, heterosexual man

^^^ If I can't speak without your insults then please explain why I should put up with any aspect of you?
Don't ask for something you can't give in return.

You have an obvious fixation on sex between a man and a man (or a woman and a woman) as bad

I don't care what anyone does in their bedroom... unless I am involved with that aspect of their life, it's none of my business. I respect that part of a person's personal and private life.

But, in the ever wise words of a heterosexual white man (go figure):
"You can't own what you don't owe up to."

Stop pretending homeland security has their satellites honed in on you.... like me, you're really not that important in the scheme of things.
Just pay your taxes like the rest of us.
 NOBLMAN
Joined: 10/18/2009
Msg: 74
Why do bisexual guys not want to admit it?
Posted: 1/1/2010 6:05:00 PM
I'd just say mines an outy not and inny
 new fisherman
Joined: 12/5/2009
Msg: 76
Why do bisexual guys not want to admit it?
Posted: 1/2/2010 3:27:22 PM
I would agree with you fat and sassee, you should know if the dude has gay feelings towards men as well as normal feelings towards women. Gay men have a higher chance of getting aids/hiv.
 NappyKAT
Joined: 7/2/2008
Msg: 77
Why do bisexual guys not want to admit it?
Posted: 1/2/2010 3:39:58 PM
This has probably already been said, I don't know because I haven't read all the responses. Maybe later.

I've heard there is no such thang as a bisexual man. 'Bisexuality' for a man is just a layover stop between 'trying to be straight' and homosexuality. From my limited experience, that has been the case. I personally don't know of any true bisexual men. All of the gay men I know have had sex with women tho.

Another - people won't let bisexual men (if they exist) be bisexual. Once you have sex with a guy, you've tagged as 'homo' and that is it - no matter how many women you screw afterwards. No wonder bi guys won't tell you they are bi.

Prison rape and sex doesn't really count. if you had sex in prison with a guy or got raped, you can still be straight in the outside world if you wish to be. But most guys get so confused about their sexuality after having sex and being raped in jail that they don't know what they are or what they can be. But I forgive whatever sexual experience you have had in jail - I am more interested in what type of sexual experiences you are having since you been out.

Also - some guys feel that if they are the doing somebody (screwing a guy or getting sucked) then they aren't gay. It's only when you get done (get 'stuck' or you suck) then you are gay. Not in my book. Any type of sexual encounter with a guy (with exception to prison) then you either gay or bisexual.
 new fisherman
Joined: 12/5/2009
Msg: 78
Why do bisexual guys not want to admit it?
Posted: 1/2/2010 3:46:35 PM
I would have to agree with the last poster.

I don't believe there is such a thing as bisexuality, you are either gay or not.
 Zebra Circle
Joined: 4/12/2009
Msg: 79
Why do bisexual guys not want to admit it?
Posted: 1/2/2010 4:32:03 PM

I don't believe there is such a thing as bisexuality, you are either gay or not.

It's not a matter of belief. It's a matter of fact. If you choose to believe this for whatever moronic reason (I'm sorry, but yes, it's moronic to think such a thing -- my god, do you still "believe" the world is flat?!), then you are choosing to be stupid.

So here's what it is: You are either gay, straight, bisexual, or a man trapped in a woman's body, or a woman trapped in a man's body. And to really mess your naive way of thinking, you could be a woman trapped in a man's body, have the surgery to become a woman and like women -- which means you would be a lesbian. I know, I know ... way too much for your tiny brain to handle.

I'm not normally so harsh with a response, but my god, when I read something like what you utter, I feel like I'm in the stone ages or something. I have zero patience for such archaic thinking.

 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 80
Why do bisexual guys not want to admit it?
Posted: 1/2/2010 4:45:32 PM

It's not a matter of belief. It's a matter of fact. If you choose to believe this for whatever moronic reason (I'm sorry, but yes, it's moronic to think such a thing -- my god, do you still "believe" the world is flat?!), then you are choosing to be stupid.

So here's what it is: You are either gay, straight, bisexual, or a man trapped in a woman's body, or a woman trapped in a man's body. And to really mess your naive way of thinking, you could be a woman trapped in a man's body, have the surgery to become a woman and like women -- which means you would be a lesbian. I know, I know ... way too much for your tiny brain to handle.

I'm not normally so harsh with a response, but my god, when I read something like what you utter, I feel like I'm in the stone ages or something. I have zero patience for such archaic thinking

I agree with you Zebra, for the most part. But, I'm still looking at the monitor like a confused puppy, wondering about the entire man/woman/trapped in body/lesbian thing.....I gotta draw a picture... maybe several pictures.
 NappyKAT
Joined: 7/2/2008
Msg: 82
Why do bisexual guys not want to admit it?
Posted: 1/3/2010 2:11:52 AM

And to really mess your naive way of thinking, you could be a woman trapped in a man's body, have the surgery to become a woman and like women -- which means you would be a lesbian. I know, I know ... way too much for your tiny brain to handle.
Whaaa????

I have to top that with a few examples for clarification for me and others.

Chastity Bono (Cher's daughter) was lesbian. I guess she was a 'man trapped in a woman's body' because I read she recently had surgery to become a guy and she is now a guy. She still likes women tho. So I guess now she is a guy who likes women - she is 'straight.'

The weird thing about that - if she had started out liking guys but also felt comfortable in a guy's body - and then got surgery - she would be deemed 'gay' for now being a guy who likes guys - while her past relationship as a woman would have been deemed 'straight' as a woman who likes guys. It might not be that many - but there are women out there who like guys sexually - but want to buy a guy themselves.

And there are guys who like women sexually. But they aren't comfortable being men, they want to be women themselves. They are 'women trapped in men's bodies.' They get the surgery, become a woman, and therefore they are 'lesbians' since they still have an attraction for women. This is the very same as your given example.

Way less likely (I've heard no cases of it) are guys who like guys but feel they are women trapped in a man's body. They get the surgery, become a woman, and then therefore become.... straight (since they are now women who like men). But these are the least likely of all those scenarios because most guys who aren't STRAIGHT like men - be they bisexual, gay, transgendered.


If a man has surgery to become a "woman" and he likes men, he does not become a lesbian. He is simply a man that looks like a woman. I don't give a rat's ass how many surgeries or how much they "feel" like a woman. When they suffer through bloating, cramps, mood swings, tender to the touch tits, and PMS every month for about 40 years, then they can claim "I am a woman" Until then they are just guys in permanent drag.
Hot dam, if that's all it is to being a woman then I'd take being a 'fake' woman any day.

I understand your point but I have to disagree, or at least question it. If you know of a girl who is transvestite or transgendered - do you still consider him a 'he' or as the 'she' he wants to be. I have (had) transvestite relatives I call 'he' because I knew them as a 'he' first and I never gave that up. But to the associates I know - they are 'she' because because regardless of me knowing they were formerly men, I knew them as a 'she' first. Once you have gotten the surgery tho, or totally cast off your 'manly' self, I don't mind calling you a 'she.' It's a tad harder for me to call a woman-turned-man a 'he' tho. I think the whole 'pregnant man' business does a disservice to transgendered women everywhere. Now I'm thinking 'if you can get pregnant and carry a baby - you're just woman trying to play at being a dude.'
 Zebra Circle
Joined: 4/12/2009
Msg: 85
Why do bisexual guys not want to admit it?
Posted: 1/3/2010 7:15:31 AM
Chastity Bono (Cher's daughter) was lesbian. I guess she was a 'man trapped in a woman's body' because I read she recently had surgery to become a guy and she is now a guy. She still likes women tho. So I guess now she is a guy who likes women - she is 'straight.'

The weird thing about that - if she had started out liking guys but also felt comfortable in a guy's body - and then got surgery - she would be deemed 'gay' for now being a guy who likes guys - while her past relationship as a woman would have been deemed 'straight' as a woman who likes guys. It might not be that many - but there are women out there who like guys sexually - but want to buy a guy themselves.


By George, I think you've got it, NappyKat.

And if you really read what you just wrote, the bigger picture that comes out of it is that there are a lot of gray areas to human sexuality. It's just not a black and white issue. So when some person comes on and says you are either gay or straight, it's upsetting. It denies what's out there.

And to My I, thanks for the comments. You don't see too many posters on here who will ease up on the "spirited debates" to offer agreement on something (I know, I know, you said "for the most part"). So thanks for that.
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 86
view profile
History
Why do bisexual guys not want to admit it?
Posted: 1/3/2010 8:01:37 AM

Why does your sexuality has to define who you are anyway?
I would say "sexuality" might have a lot to do with defining who you are.

People who can only feel sexually fulfilled by having sex with children ... that defines a person.

People who can only feel sexually fulfilled when they "force" themselves on others ... that defines a person.

People who can only feel sexually fulfilled when inflicting pain or having pain inflicted ... that defines a person.

I get the impression that men just having sex with other men while not really being attracted to other men ... may not/probably does not ... mean that a man is bisexual.

Of all the gay and bisexual men I have known ... gay and bisexual women as well ... all have admitted being attracted to their chosen partners. All have said that they fantasize about their sexual acts with their chosen partners ... actually seek it.

Most of the people I know who merely use same sex partners to get sexual satisfaction are jailed or imprisoned and they openly admit to just doing it for lack of getting a partner of the opposite sex.

Obviously there will always be exceptions.

I believe that intimate partners have a right to know about the sexual habits of their partners ... but why would anyone owe any explanation to a stranger? Why would anyone owe others any explanation of their sexual orientation unless they are being accused of some sort of unlawful act?
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