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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?      Home login  
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 karma1160
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 26
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?Page 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Well this all sounds like a roller coaster and I personally am getting the feeling that you both definitly have 2 different ideas about what is involved in maintenance in a relationship.
If he was aloof and didn't call right from the start that would be one thing but you obviously were satisfied with the relationship from the start to pick up the pace and get into an intimate relationship. Now you are feeling vulnerable and your actions are beginning to reflect your vulnerability.
I do not feel that it is too much for someone not to call for 5 days while they are visiting family. This is your idea not that it is wrong but it is not shared by everyone.

NEVER threaten someone unless you are prepared to follow through.
In my opinion you were not on stable ground when you took your leap and that is why you are feeling vulnerable now.
You do have a right to expect some kind of maintenance from your partner but your ideas of maintenance sound like they are different.

Just a thought to ponder here maybe since you both are not sleeping well when you get together he is in need of sleep and is running for cover.
 rotoswim
Joined: 2/29/2012
Msg: 27
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 12/31/2012 12:19:00 AM
There are a number of people, who play the field. they are looking for a partner that they like, and returns the feelings, seeing more than one person at a time ,is the norm now. You cant decide on a person if you dont spend time getting to know them. it takes time. it is best to make friends and take it from there. No relationship built on sexual heat will last without other things in common. relationships should be respectful. and the physical part should be put in perspective.
 Proud_Native_Guy84
Joined: 10/16/2012
Msg: 28
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 1/1/2013 6:49:03 PM
You like rhyming? I met this guy & we got involved pretty "quick" . We seemed to really "click" . anyway it was about 6 weeks into this. lol
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 29
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 1/1/2013 8:47:49 PM
If a man is in love with you, he's going to care about your feelings. He is not going to want you to feel insecure in the relationship. Either this guy is taking you for granted and is an insensitive clod, or he just doesn't care about you that much. But do you really care what the reason is when the effect is the same?
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 30
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 1/1/2013 8:48:31 PM
Just a Single Guy84

"Click" and "this" don't rhyme.
 pattie2014
Joined: 11/25/2012
Msg: 31
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 1/1/2013 9:01:51 PM
Guys string you along because you let them!
 singerplayer
Joined: 1/17/2010
Msg: 32
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 1/2/2013 5:17:01 AM
Sometimes people bite off more than they can chew. One person in the relationship will be all gung-ho in the beginning. Then for whatever reason they say "eh..." and don't feel the way they did at first. It just wore off. He changed his mind. You don't know why and you won't know why. Even if he hasn't changed his mind, he's behaving as if he has, and that should be unacceptable for you. If he has too much going on, blah blah blah, same old shit, he's simply unavailable. Kiss it off and move on.
 cityfangels35
Joined: 7/28/2012
Msg: 33
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 1/2/2013 10:58:07 AM
i read your profile did you met him off here and are you sure he really lives with his sister . alot of men on here are married . and say they are living with moms or sister or whoever. next time slow down take your time to get to know eachother . alot of really fast or quick involve ends that quick too
 ccrandal
Joined: 10/29/2012
Msg: 34
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 4/30/2013 5:48:49 PM
You've had one serious relationship for 6 months and call this experience. You don't have business telling her they're not suited for each other.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 35
view profile
History
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 4/30/2013 8:53:54 PM
I met this guy & got involved pretty quick. We seem really click, anyway it was about 6 weeks into this,he planned a vacation to his hometown before we even met. We had exchanged keys a week before he left.of course he lives w/his 2 sister & I live alone.



This is a bit weird , It makes me hard to swallow that he gave his key to you when he is living with his 2 sisters, but I believed you that you gave your extra key to him..
What you did is scary!!
i know i am an idiot.


I am astounded, like I can't make the Tail or The Head, but what I can say is --You can lead a horse to a trow ,but you can not force him to drink if he doesn't want to...


Is it expecting to much to send an email or phone to your" girfriend" when ur visiting family in your home town, specially if u were in a newer relationship. If he wasn't gonna call or email me for the entire 2 weeks, why didn't he say that he would tell me i really care about u & want to be in relationship. right ? why do they string u along??


Right ! I considered men like flies , they were so attracted to a piece of meat that I hang out to dry under the sun to make some jerkys............

OH, this is 4 years ago thread, I hope the OP is happily in a good relationship now...
 JeremyD4789
Joined: 10/27/2012
Msg: 36
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why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 4/30/2013 9:24:19 PM
I'd rather hear the OP's emotions, than the jaded responses.
Some people still feel, and emotions make us volatile.
 annywn
Joined: 4/17/2012
Msg: 37
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 4/30/2013 11:06:53 PM
@cw35. I love it when strait white men try to act like the victims of society. Just can't get a fair shake in this world where you tried to oppress everyone besides yourselves, FAILED , now those wymenz are running amok making our overbearing, sexist, raciest, view obsolete. And now those fruitycakes can get married too!
I guess karma really is a biotch, now get to the back of the line and makev me a sammich.
 NDTfan
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 38
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 5/1/2013 6:46:46 AM

Just observing how many double standards there are when I thought we were striving for equality.


No, just pointing out how utterly selfish and unaware some people can be when they equate their "problems" with other peoples.

It's like the rich guy being outraged because the waiter brought him a slightly overdone steak and demanding sympathy from the poor guy who hasn't eaten in days.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 39
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why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 5/1/2013 7:50:04 AM
No ,just pointing out how untter selfish and unaware some people can be when the equate their "problems"
with other peoples.
It's like the rich guy being outraged because the waiter brought him a slightly overdone steak and demanding sympathy from the poor guy who hasn't eaten in days .


That is the most illogical metaphor...........
.This makes more sense a rich man ordered a medium rare steak, but the waiter brought him a slightly overdone steak, the rich man doesn't want to take the overdone steak ,so he ask the waiter to return to the kitchen and (HE DEMAND) to order him a perfect medium rare steak as he like. FOR THAT IS WHAT HE IS PAYING FOR.
He demand a sympathy from a poor guy who hasn't eaten in days ? this is the most brain dead logic. Let me ask you a question, did the rich man went to the street and look for homeless people to" demand "a SYMPHATHY for he can not fix his own problem ??
 NDTfan
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 40
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 5/1/2013 8:44:43 AM

He demand a sympathy from a poor guy who hasn't eaten in days ? this is the most brain dead logic. Let me ask you a question, did the rich man went to the street and look for homeless people to" demand "a SYMPHATHY for he can not fix his own problem ??


The point I made had to do with his assertion that since women are looking for equality, then men shouldn't be assumed to be the aggressors in a domestic violence situation ( completely ignoring the fact that in most instances men ARE the aggressors and that in a female on female violence situation the larger, more likely to be the aggressor is often held as well). I agree it shouldn't be seen that way, but sometimes in a situation like that snap judgments have to be made and straightened out later. And, if a women commits DV, she should face the same penalties.

My problem was comparing it to suffrage. Claiming that being seen as a possible aggressor in a situation where it's he said/she said (and more likely than not to be true) to a movement that women have died for... just to be able to vote and get paid the same for the same job is laughable.

Kinda like the guys claiming that having to pay for dinner on dates or having to pay cover when women don't on ladies night is equal to the black civil rights movement. Is it unfair? Sure, but it's nowhere near the same and you look like an a**hole for even comparing the two.
 ryuoki
Joined: 3/13/2013
Msg: 41
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 5/1/2013 11:44:39 AM

It's called TSP - Tactical Securing of P*ssy. ( Until a better one comes along)


Women do this to men too. This is not a male or female only thing. It is an individual thing. I am not reading too many more posts, but agree with MetalVixxn. She was likely freaking out too soon. Just wait till he gets back and see what happens then. For now just do your own thing as others point out. You have already reached out to him, the ball is in his court for the time being.

Not all men think with their d!cks at all times so get that assumption out of your heads. Majority of men when the blood gets down there will likely do so, but that's because there is a lack there of at the CPU area. But this can also happen to women as OP has shown.

Also women died to gain voting rights? The most notable of women to die for equality was Joan of Arc. Likely a few others, but executions for woman's equality started dwindling quite rapidly after awhile. Though they could have been labeled something else, more like the witch trials. I could be wrong but I do not recall women being persecuted to death in the 20th century for equality especially for voting rights. I am more sure there were greater numbers of blacks who died for racial equality in this time than women in general voting equality. Typically the worst the women faced in the 20th century for equality was verbal abuses. As for how this got to a women's suffrage topic is beyond me, because I won't read all the pages. But it seemed unnecessary to go there in the first place since it started as a woman frantic because she wasn't receiving texts as regularly as she wanted.
 dobbie101
Joined: 1/24/2011
Msg: 42
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History
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 5/2/2013 7:08:37 AM
You wanted him...
he wanted you...
You bedded him...
he bedded you...
He did like you...
you did like him...
For a brief moment the universe stood still...
he didn't look up...
you didn't look up...the universe continued...
stop..look...listen
Learn
 nubeginnings64
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 43
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 5/2/2013 7:48:08 AM
Topic has more to do with how to chase a guy off than being strung along. Dating class 101 is how not to act out as the OP has.




This is the phrase of the day "especially if u were in a newer relationship" but apparently the OP feels it doesn't apply to her. You don't rock the boat upfront & especially with emotional instability. Makes even the most patient & understanding man my age bolt & you can never undo that impression. Lack of communication is when a man is contemplating whether she's even worth being in a relationship with or not & the OP has nobody to blame for it but herself. Never would have snowballed into what it is now if the OP simply expressed her disappointment in his not spending the night. Most rational people would have understood he had things to do before his trip.
 marilynh77
Joined: 12/29/2012
Msg: 44
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 5/6/2013 10:23:09 AM
Wayyy too fast!
A grown man lives with 2 sisters? And 6 weeks into this so call relationship, y'all shack up more than going out and having fun, enjoying each others' company? Bootie calls! And he's hanging onto you till another bootie satisfied him.
If he's in his hometown, why bother emailing you or calling since it's only 6 weeks into a relationship? He's busy with families and stuffs!
Slow down, have a life and enjoy till he comes around or whatever but why are you so clingy? Wow! Guess this is where most guys have complained on "women after sex" thing. Some women just are clingy. Have a life and security. Guess there's a lack of security somewhere there.
It's a new relationship, have a life and get real. Give the poor soul space!
 TALLTEXAN2012
Joined: 4/13/2012
Msg: 45
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why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 5/6/2013 4:53:43 PM
Dobbie 101...simple and to the point...I concur!!!
 Aquarian81
Joined: 4/25/2013
Msg: 47
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 5/10/2013 2:28:12 PM
You are a nice good-looking woman...screw him and his shit. That is for sure. You can do better an leave him and his what happeneds to the wayside.
 L,A, Woman
Joined: 7/4/2006
Msg: 48
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 5/26/2013 4:56:52 PM
LMAO, that was very funny, exactly what I was thinking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 L,A, Woman
Joined: 7/4/2006
Msg: 49
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 5/26/2013 5:00:13 PM
The girl that said he was tactically securing **** should win a POF award for humour. This woman is 45, does she not get that he is just not that into her. It may hurt as she gave up the sex but there are some plain ugly people out there and sometimes they just use to get their own needs met. If you have not figured out this at 45 well here I am to tell you. He has the convenience of your key. Maybe he has a camera on you and comes into your home to have sex with other women. Be careful out there. Change your locks!
 BlueEyedBlon3000
Joined: 3/15/2013
Msg: 50
why do guys keep u hanging on instead of ending it?
Posted: 6/1/2013 12:54:26 PM
too much too soon of everything for him. he needs space, he needs to decompress, I personally would feel totally suffocated by relations you described.
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