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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?      Home login  
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 805Allan
Joined: 9/5/2009
Msg: 101
Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?Page 5 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
That's pretty right on Madison, I'll be 50 in Nov, I Do wonder what women think when I tell them that I've never been Married or have no children.

I do confess that I am a Workaholic, and my job takes me away from home a lot, this must be it, for I only have the weekends to enjoy my Partner!

I have seen the other side of this tho, my last relationship, I felt was a Part Time deal, she had 50/50 custody of her kids (wonderful kids), but I couldn't spend as much time with her on her Kids weekend as I spent with her on Our weekend. So, I only saw her 2 or 3 weekends a month, not good!

Yes, their Is more to the story, but I still didn't have much time to give her.

Now Single and Dating!
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 102
Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/25/2009 8:58:57 AM
I'm now at the point in my life where, if a woman won't date me because I have never been married, have no kids so what. Seems as we get older we actually do get pickier. Putting people under the microscope more and not worry about what they are as a person.
Ladies keep up the great work.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 103
Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/25/2009 9:18:26 AM
I have been rejected many times and been deeemed an insuitable dating partner because I have not been married. (before the men knew anything else about me at all). Not going to spend my time trying to convince a closed minded man that I am worth his time even though I am not "normal" according to him. Some of us do appreciate the older bachelors and wish we could find more of them who wanted to get to know women who have not been married. I have found that the older bachelors I met who are between ages 40-55 have wanted to marry women who are younger so they can have children or to marry women who have children whose fathers were not in the picture. Guess their paternal instincts were much stronger than my maternal instincts.
 InNCsearching
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 104
Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/25/2009 9:26:43 AM
being a bachelor in america with the divorce rate and the court system is actually the smart thing to do. who says you can't love a woman and live with her and if things don't work out theres no huge legal crap because when a relationship breaks down it boils down to one thing....back to being selfish and if you're not married then the selfishness doesn't get into divorce court. it's smart being a bachelor. if they changed the laws most all men would be married and most women would not file for divorce. the divorce rate would drop like a prom dress on prom night and divorce would only be between the truly abusive relationships. so being a bachelor is actually extremely smart.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 105
Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/26/2009 2:48:30 PM
4 years in the university, 15 years in the military; I didnt think I would miss travelling as much as I do. If theres a stigma to it, let it be, lets all just get tattoos and make it easier to discriminate. I am thinking the ol Skull and Bones with ticker under it for every year that ye hath remain'd single, unhitched and unkidded.
 NappyKAT
Joined: 7/2/2008
Msg: 106
Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/27/2009 4:26:34 AM
Never-married people should stay unmarried. I mean really - it's all about 'who's better' - like it some sorta dam competition between divorced and never married men. I've never read of divorced men saying why he is a better catch than a never-married man, but never-married men have such arrogance of saying 'I'm a betta catch because I don't have a 'failed' marriage under my belt (even tho I failed at few or many non-marital relationships) and I don't have baggage of kids to take care of.'

Well stay single and never get married and have kids so you can keep saying that makes you a better catch.
 StevieCashmere
Joined: 4/22/2009
Msg: 107
view profile
History
Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/27/2009 11:23:26 AM
I'm not embarrased

~sc~
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 108
Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/27/2009 1:27:56 PM
Finally took the step, entering into a new relationship this weekend. ....
Going to buy another motorcycle. And maybe that tattoo.
 L.O.C.3
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 109
Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/28/2009 9:46:57 AM
Thats crazy, You wont believe this but i did just that but I bought a drum set.Had to find a way to vent.I say there are possitive and negative aspects to bein single.You do have more money and are able to have lots of toys too....But ther is nobody there to share them w/........At the same time there are no arguments over money situations.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 110
Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/28/2009 12:52:13 PM
Ok on the topic of why men dont relocate to foreign soil if they love foreign women so much.....
I would say the smart and monied ones do. If you relocate to over seas as an ExPat, it takes the whole foreign bride for green card trade off out of the equation. I have been doing consulting for Russian brides for 15 years as a sideline. I speak the language. Of the marriages that I have helped arrange, the only ones that are still successful, are the ones in which the guys relocated to Europe, or Sakahalin, or Russia. Of the local US guys, the expectancy of that eveolution is about 2.2 years. Make no mistake, they know the immigration law very well.
Learn a language guys, shop over seas; smart money says make your vacation, your retirement, stay over seas.
I know that there is a big ex-pat population in Costa Rica, Vietnam and Thialand too... Must be some reason for it.
 InNCsearching
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 111
Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/28/2009 3:05:54 PM
amen to that. i plan on retiring in the phillipines. no crazy divorce crap. and if you notice there's no such thing as divorce in those countries or very small. and it does eliminate the whole green card crap. if you love one from there....sure go marry her and say...i'll be back in 5 years...but don't bring her over here. look halloween is coming up and if someone had a bucket of candy that said....please just take one, how many of you would not think about taking more? it's like the divorce industry. it's bigger than microsoft and IBM combined. it's a business so if someone dangled in your face money if the relationship was getting boring, and you could take a lot of money and go screw pedro the 19 year pool boy, who wouldn't do that? jez...look at hulk hogan's ex wife? now screwing a 19 year old. i rest my case for remaining a bachelor with your own place.
 CoolGuy1972
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 112
Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/28/2009 7:12:34 PM
I'm 37. Never been married, no kids. Both things that I really want though.

I wish I could get a badge or something to put on my profile that says, "Sorry I was irresponsible when I was younger. I had plenty of chances but blew them all by putting my friends and fun ahead. I always thought I had plenty of time. Stupid me. Please forgive me? I've learned my lesson, I promise. I DO want marriage, I DO wants kids, I DO NOT have a fear of commitment and I'm a real nice, funny guy -- trust me, anyone who knows me will tell you that. Will you just give me a chance and see for yourself? Pretty please with sugar on top?"

Maybe I should just type that as a disclaimer on my profile. Uhg. Like it or not, there is a stigma. I think if you haven't made it happen by 35, then the road gets real rocky after that. But I'm not giving up. I know who I am and what I have to offer. And if someone can't see it, then too bad for them.

Thank you for reading this. Now I will get back to staring at the wall and counting the dots.
 CoolGuy1972
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 113
Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/28/2009 7:15:50 PM
Oh and for the OP: Forgive me if this has already been posted (I haven't read this whole thread --- many of the posts are way too wordy, even for me). But you know, maybe you could do like one of those Russian mail order brides or something? You can even have one custom made to suit your specifications. It would be a win win for both of you! Just Google it.
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 114
Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/28/2009 7:26:35 PM

If you want to see what's wrong with American women, check this site out: nomarriage.com

Dude -- they paying you or something?


So what are not-so-tall guys with not so much money supposed to do?

Just a thought, but-- work on developing a nice personality?
(HINT: whiny is NOT nice)
 NappyKAT
Joined: 7/2/2008
Msg: 115
Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/28/2009 10:26:31 PM
Okay, so here's the deal OP.

Get you a 20 year old foreign chick and move to Russia or the Philippines.
They got cheap housing, cheap wine, cheat booze, and cheap women.
No green card required to bring them there.
They don't have divorce, she will clean and cook, and she will do whatever you want, do it greedily and gratefully, and won't nag.
And if you are ever into little boys, girls, or underage prostitutes - they won't mind that there and turn their heads - especially in Thailand - the underage-sex-excursion capital in the world.

Problem solved.

So even an old ass bachelor like yourself can get the girl of your dreams.
So says these pathetic self-loathing american wanksters.

Good luck with that.
Invite me to your wedding and pay for my ticket. I could use a trip.
 NappyKAT
Joined: 7/2/2008
Msg: 116
Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/29/2009 12:43:56 AM

Not sure they'd be into an obese 5'7", 250-lb woman of any race....
Is that all you got mr-jonny-come-lately? I'm sorry you must got me mixed up with some pathetic insecure desperate loser chick that can't get a man and has to get two seats on a plane, bus, or roller coaster - because it's obvious you don't know what the hell 250 pounds looks like on this particular chick. Hint - it looks better on me than it does on you. And I work out. And I have a better attitude to boot! And I had pics up, too bad if you missed them.

And if I were you, I wouldn't try to down something on someone when I have the same 'issue' fat-ass.

If anyone has a sense of entitlement, it's you. Which is typical. 'Oh I can't get an american woman to put up with my bullshit and think I'm god's gift to women to so I will get a young foreign girl I can scare and mold into having me and and docile enough to do anything I say and not talk back and she won't leave me until I feel she's too old at 25 and I can get another young girl to take her place.'

Lord help the foreign women with these american predators. I feel for them. Speaking of herbs - you want some of mine? These women will need to be beat and drugged to get with with the likes of you!

And you say you have never been called names by a foreign woman. Apparently american women have had a lotta names for you then

you poor poor widdy baybee. did dose nassy amedican wimmen hurt yur iddy biddy feelins? need an foreigner to be your mummy and take care of you? good luck with that.

And you're on the wrong forum. You get started in foreign correspondence and go to the international forum. Or a mail order bride site. Or book one of those sex excisions to the Thailand or the Philippines pronto
 airconditioninthesummer
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 117
Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/29/2009 2:03:12 AM
well, unless you have the funds, you can write your own bill. i have some wealthy old geezer friends with girlfriends/wives in their 20s and they're in their 40s/50s.
 dolphinlvr36
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 118
Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/29/2009 7:44:15 AM
***To 16madison and justwanttoknow: that's all bs. Just because you may have found it easy to get into relationships and fall in love, you think it should be just the same for everybody else? I don't give a crap how long we've been on this earth or what we've been doing, there are no guarantees you'll meet that someone special...no guarantees at all. There are always things we can do to increase our chances, but there are no guarantees. I know lots of outgoing people who have never been married and and I can definitely tell you that they want to be. People who find it so easy and see the same with all of their friends live in a very narrow world. They don't realize that for a small percentage of people, things just don't happen, for whatever reason. Luckily I surround myself with people who don't think as you do. Commitment phobia,....ha, ha..not a chance. I LONG for commitment. Unrealistic expectations..uh, uh. I've been so attracted to some women (very close to my age, by the way), but they are not attracted to me. Getting married and falling in love can be very hard for some. You just don't live in a world where you see people struggle in this department so you put them down. Shame...****


Whoah there laktor223.....First of all, anytime you post you are going to get responses with people's opinions. Just because you don't like what they have to say doesn't mean you chastise them. Secondly, you are doing just what you are upset at them for doing in your responses to them, as well as your original post. The forums are meant for people to give opinions and respond to the OP. Don't come back and bring people down just because you don't like the response.

In defense of bachelors, sometimes i think they are bachelors at that age because they have been committed to their career, and time sneaks up on them. However, different people are attracted to different things, whether it be who they date, what car they buy, what food they eat....If everyone on the Earth was the same, and wanted the same things, what a boring world we would live in. However, people should not be looked down upon because they choose not to date someone older. We should be careful not to "lump" all women together in one group just because some fairly choose not to date an older bachelor. After all, we have different aspirations in life too, and we shouldn't have to sacrifice those to appease someone in OP's position. IMHO.
 dolphinlvr36
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 119
Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/29/2009 7:54:57 AM
***Of course, which is better? Someone who ends up being in a bad 15-year marriage, baggage, etc etc, or someone who dodged that bad situation and has been not married for 20 years?***

Not to put you particulary down confident, but this comment made me reflect on some other things along this same line that i've been reading in several forums....

Why do guys post forums asking how to get into a relationship/get married, how they are still bachelors etc., when they turn around and talk about lousy marriages and being bogged down in a marriage with kids, money, wife wanting sex when she wants something etc. If you all think marriage is so bad, why are you asking for help?

Just my 2 cents. Something i've been wondering. And you have to admit, it's a valid point.
 dolphinlvr36
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 120
Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/29/2009 8:30:03 AM
*****Mr_SmartFun, I just read your profile. It's a good one. However, the only three things most women are going to look at are 1) the pictures, 2) how tall you are (5'11"), and 3) what you do for a living (The Movie Biz). With those you don't even need an in-depth profile! I'm sure a lot of women on this site take the initiative and contact you first. Am I wrong? At least from reading your profile I know you're not a dunce who only has a body, a face, or an exciting career going for him.******

oooooooo....is someone just a little bitter? You know, guys shouldn't bash us girls for not responding to emails or initiating contact on here, and assume it's because of looks. We ALL (male and female) are looking at personalities, interests, etc. as well. You can be attracted or not to someone physically, but in all honesty it boils down to how well you get along with someone as to whether it lasts.

And now I need to vent. I am tired of you guys implying on ALL these forums that women are totally responsible for the bad stuff in marriages and making us look like we are just out for money and to get everything from you through the divorce. For a marriage to end in divorce isn't always one-sided. Are you telling me that you all aren't partly at fault sometimes? IMHO.
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 121
Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/29/2009 8:34:15 AM

Talk about double standards, geez!

You see, for men sex is a chore. For women it's a choice.

NAME ONE PERSON on here who says it's ok for *women* to be whiny. The other statement I just wanted to highlight because it's just such a ridiculous statement.

Here is why the attitude exists that some men are poor matches because they're older bachelors: because of guys like you. You have a poor outlook on life, you have a negative spin on "American" women, you have a whiny personality ("poor little me, it's not MY fault American women are so mean to me").
 dolphinlvr36
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 122
Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/29/2009 8:39:34 AM
***Yep, it stinks being a bachelor*** (OP)

Ok, but yet you are putting our opinions down, and in a way women down in general with the attitude you are conveying. What makes us think you will change your mind when we marry you? You are not helping your case with this forum. I think you are actually hurting it. Potential marriage partners are reading these forums guys!!!

About your house: What is your rent each month? You do realize that the rent you pay each month is not going towards any equity for the house? Even if you had your own house, your payment could be the same, or close/ballpark to what you are paying now, and you have equity in your house! I know when i look at my own budget I see ways of cutting corners with things that i don't necessarily need, so that I have a little more money here and there to help with the bigger needs. And before anyone can say it, I'm NOT implying OP is spending money frivously. Just honestly trying to give him some solid, honest advice.
 dolphinlvr36
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 123
Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/29/2009 8:42:01 AM
***Assumptions can be very wrong, so it's dangerous to make them.*** (OP)

Sigh, alas. And so here you are making assumptions about women because you are in your situation.
 dolphinlvr36
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 124
Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/29/2009 9:39:03 AM
Hair metal fan....you need a more current picture. oh wait, maybe your more than "a few pounds overweight". And why in the heck do you have weight/height charts in your "first date" section of your profile? Are you TRYING to scare off women?
 Forums001
Joined: 4/15/2009
Msg: 125
Why is it such a stigma to be an older bachelor?
Posted: 10/29/2009 7:17:55 PM
All the dating world has become now is and male vs female fight.
No one is right nor wrong.
There will be men who have not had great luck in dating, feel crappy about being a bachelor at 40 and there will be others who won't feel crappy about it.
Most of us have many ups and downs, as I call my dating experiences a rollercoaster ride for sure.
Ya I am 40, single for the past handful of years, been in LTR's through my 20's, most of my 30's I was single and more soul searching to find myself. I feel I am a great catch, but sure most women have kids and seem to assume more about myself because I have none and never have been married. I will still give them a fair chance and benefit of the doubt,most single mothers do not do the same. Oh well, is par for the course in the dating world at 40 and single. I can't change anything about how I am perceived. I can just be happy with my life, do the things I enjoy, and so be it.
Happy at 40 with no kids and not been married. But one thing I have not said ever is NEVER, and I also do assume all single mothers want someone to support them financially.
Again we get stereotyped as older bachelors, women get stereotyped as single mothers.
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