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 deerdog1
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 3
For the women, how would you feel dating a guy who...Page 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Thats cheating. Period.


me thinks you read the post wrong ... if he frequented the prostitutes before the relationship .but not after ..it is in no way cheating .... people do change ... god I have changed so much in my life ..I am in no way the man I was years ago ... although I never frequented prostitutes I was very promiscuous now I am almost on the other extreme ... I think i theory a persons past is the past ..in reality not many people can completely forget the past ....when it includes something as taboo as frequenting prostitutes
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 5
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For the women, how would you feel dating a guy who...
Posted: 10/1/2009 4:35:00 AM
as long as he is STD free.......his past is his....and has no bearing on the present.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 8
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For the women, how would you feel dating a guy who...
Posted: 10/1/2009 5:25:31 AM

The reason why men visit prostitutes is to get sex when they want, how they want it, fulfill fantasies, do bizarre things, no strings attached.

Sounds like dating to me. I've lost count of the one's who have contacted me for a hookup... on this site alone!!!! Men do not reserve this behaviour for prostitutes. I know plenty of men who are *used* to certain things sexually and I'm pretty sure none of them have ever been to a prostitute. I'll have to poll them later on that just to be sure.

I'm not a man, have never claimed to be, have never played on on tv... I would bet they go for other reasons then what you've claimed here (those included, but not the only reasons).

I think because of the *working relationship* and nature of the services offered that a man that goes to prostitutes might not want to give women a false sense of security because he is after a physical release. Makes perfect sense to me to purchase services from someone who has an understanding that this is only about the sex (altho I understand there can be more to it, especially with long-term clients), it's only business and there's no chance of it becoming messy and emotional. How many women come on here and complain about men who have *used* them for sex and how the woman has fallen in love with them after sex and wants to be with them forever because.. omg.. he had sex with me so therefore he HAS to LOVE ME!!! Many women can not separate sex from love.

I would rather a partner of mine use the services of a pro as opposed to leaving a whole string of broken-hearted women and potential stalkers in his wake. Or worse... a whole harem of baby-mamas...

I wouldn't care as long as he used protection, tested clean, and while with me didn't use those services.

Now... to totally throw in a twist... were the prostitutes female.... or male?? While I am fairly open about my sexuality and that of my partners, I'm going to come off sounding rather hypocritical right about now. I'd prefer the prostitutes be women. It just gets more complicated when it's men... I think the risk of disease transmission is higher.

Pitufina.. I can't possibly imagine the kind of things you've alluded to... what boundaries have you been asked to push past that refusing to do so makes you sound insensitive and prudish? We all have limits... I know mine... and asking me to push beyond them would make that other person sound insensitive and too much of a risk-taker for me to get involved with. *Sick* is reserved for those individuals who do things to others that do not include consent.
 SleepyMcGee
Joined: 5/16/2008
Msg: 10
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For the women, how would you feel dating a guy who...
Posted: 10/1/2009 5:49:06 AM
There could also be some context to it. A guy visiting Thailand or Amsterdam who gets a hooker because his friends dare him to is a lot different than a guy who has regular appointments with an escort at his house every Tuesday at 3pm.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 11
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For the women, how would you feel dating a guy who...
Posted: 10/1/2009 6:20:15 AM

I knew I pretty much covered it.

I didn't bother reading all the replies NK... I was in a hurry this morning.
 WalkingInLondon
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 14
For the women, how would you feel dating a guy who...
Posted: 10/1/2009 8:30:51 AM
That would be a deal-breaker for me. Sorry, just from the disease standpoint, then from the issue of taking advantage of an underpriveledged woman who has no resources other than to sell her body, it takes a real shit to screw a woman so down on her luck.

An escort maybe I could forgive, but a street hooker, he should be a real man, take her and give her a good meal, and find her a shelter.
 Sabrosura
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 16
For the women, how would you feel dating a guy who...Frequently visited prostitutes
Posted: 10/1/2009 9:54:47 AM
It's all good; If he had a clean bill of health, this remained in his past, and not creep up during my time with him!!!
 namrael
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 17
For the women, how would you feel dating a guy who...
Posted: 10/1/2009 10:13:24 AM

It would be a huge turn off, because it would show that the man is "sick" (in a way) enough to not be able to just enjoy sex with a partner as it should be.


And who defines sex as it "should" be? You? How about each person for themself? People have a vast variety of tastes when it comes to erotic activities, and as long as no one is hurting anyone else, none of those things are wrong, just different. Sex "should" be however people want it to be. What's "sick" about that?


The reason why men visit prostitutes is to get sex when they want, how they want it, fulfill fantasies, do bizarre things, no strings attached.


Yeah. I can see why that would appeal to some people. Granted, others find those same things with people they're not paying, but with an employee, you get to be in control. I can definitely see why someone might go for that over the negotiation of dealing with someone not under their employ.


Somebody who lived that kind of lifestyle would be "used" to certain things in sexual terms that could easily become a dealbreaker when it comes to a more committed relationship.


That depends entirely upon the partner in question. Some of us enjoy kinky or otherwise adventurous sex, and for those of us who do, those things might not be deal-breakers. If someone has sexual interests that are incompatible with yours, then that SHOULD be a deal-breaker, for both of you. However, that has nothing to do with committed vs short-term relationships, and everything to do with the individuals involved.

Also, if someone wants to try something enough to hire someone to do it with him, chances are those interests aren't going away whether or not he acts on them with a prostitute. In other words: if he's had kinky sex with a prostitute, it's because he's into kinky sex. If he's into it on a continuous basis, not seeing prostitutes isn't a precipitating factor, it's just the outlet he's had so far. People don't lose their kinks and fetishes just because they don't act on them, and those desires usually get stronger the longer they've been repressed. So if he's been seeing a prostitute for something you won't do, it's because he wants that in his sex life, and the prostitute has had no causal effect. It just means you're incompatible.

As to the OP: It wouldn't be a deal-breaker for me automatically. If he treated the prostitutes poorly (in a non-negotiated way), if he saw them as a symptom of mysogynistic views, then yes, that would be an issue. If that happened to be a convenient sexual outlet and he didn't look down on those women, if he was safe, if he'd been tested since, etc, then I don't know that I'd really have a problem with it, as long as he were able to abide by whatever relationship agreements we made (which would include no prostitutes due to the heightened risk level and lack of control over other factors and partners involved).
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 18
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For the women, how would you feel dating a guy who...
Posted: 10/1/2009 4:28:20 PM

It would be a huge turn off, because it would show that the man is "sick" (in a way) enough to not be able to just enjoy sex with a partner as it should be.

The reason why men visit prostitutes is to get sex when they want, how they want it, fulfill fantasies, do bizarre things, no strings attached. Somebody who lived that kind of lifestyle would be "used" to certain things in sexual terms that could easily become a dealbreaker when it comes to a more committed relationship.


OMG.....I must be a prostitute!!
Cuz I give my FWB all that (and more) with no strings attached!!

and I'm still trying to figure out why a man is "sick"....and it's assumed he can't enjoy sex w/ a partner when in a relationship???

and all this talk about diseases.......give me a break!!
What makes a prostitute any more likely to have a disease that the local bar slut out screwing a different guy every weekend??

Obviously it's the "image" of a prostitute that bothers most women....
not the actual facts.
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 21
For the women, how would you feel dating a guy who...Frequently visited prostitutes
Posted: 10/1/2009 9:14:01 PM

If he had a clean bill of health, this remained in his past, and not creep up during my time with him!!!

Exactly. I would admire his honesty, but would not take up with him unless:

A. He was an absolutely fabulous man who could rock my world, was highly intellegent, could carry on a good conversation and make me smile.

^This and how I feel about that ("foreplay") takes him to...

B. He had not been with a prostitute for a long time and was able to be exclusive with me and able to provide negative test results for AIDS and STD's as condoms don't always ensure safety.

I don't think that these are unreasonable demands considering the "renaissance" of "born again" ho's of both genders and the rebirth of std's because of it.
 ICMUD
Joined: 11/2/2009
Msg: 26
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For the women, how would you feel dating a guy who...Frequently visited prostitutes
Posted: 1/24/2010 4:55:14 PM
id be to scared to go to the pro`s because i like my wanger and dont want it to fall off!!

they are ment to do regular check ups and they dont always go or for what ever reasons they give, so dont think just because its in house your safe because your not!! street walkers are more at risk, but never in a life time think if you go in house your more safe because your not and some will give u things your never had before! for life!!

its now your duty to make sure u are not infected and if your asked to prove that before u have a sexual relationship of any sort, dont be upset by it, just except that you have been in a dirty place and
a sexual partner wants to be sure of what shes doing with you..
 ~rain~
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 29
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For the women, how would you feel dating a guy who...
Posted: 1/25/2010 11:01:12 AM
the past is the past!! period!!

you shouldnt judge someones past! we all have one!

Remember...."for every finger you point..there are at least three fingers pointing back at you"

If you start dating someone and are considering having sex with them. Then it is up to you to take the proper precautions to keep yourself safe!!!

If something bad happens to you in result of having sex wtih someone....then you have no one to blame but yourself!!!
 ~rain~
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 30
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For the women, how would you feel dating a guy who...Frequently visited prostitutes
Posted: 1/25/2010 11:04:04 AM

Anyone who pays for sex just seems a little pathetic to me.


hmmm...so you have never had sex with someone who has bought you dinner...or a present. Spent money on you in any way that has resulted in sex at the end of the evning????
just because he isnt handing over cash to you....doesnt mean he isnt paying for it hun!!!
 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 31
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For the women, how would you feel dating a guy who...
Posted: 1/25/2010 2:14:33 PM
Maybe it was just easier for him


Maybe he didn't pat them for sex...

Maybe he just paid them to leave.


 ~rain~
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 35
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For the women, how would you feel dating a guy who...Frequently visited prostitutes
Posted: 1/26/2010 6:59:30 AM
I have seen several articals where men prefer prostitutes because they cost alot less then dating!!

Men know what they are getting into before hand, how much money he will spend without any further expectations or B.S. afterwards!!
There is no drama at all....he meets her, he has sex, he goes home!!

sounds alot more simple then worrying about if she likes him..should he kiss her...will he get sex from her..blah blahblah!!

As for the poster saying that men are desperate for going to prostitutes...well I can see where that isnt always the case.
I think a woman would be more desperate to go into that buisness then a man would be to frequent her.
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 39
For the women, how would you feel dating a guy who...Frequently visited prostitutes
Posted: 1/26/2010 8:39:39 PM
If I knew beforehand...I'd wish him a happy life with his prostitutes for he won't need me and then say .

If I knew after the fact (God forbid)...I would say wish him a happy life with his prostitutes, and proceed to be checked for stds.

Why should guys who frequent prostitutes date in the 1st place?

 ICMUD
Joined: 11/2/2009
Msg: 50
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For the women, how would you feel dating a guy who...Frequently visited prostitutes
Posted: 1/29/2010 3:01:53 AM

If I knew beforehand...I'd wish him a happy life with his prostitutes for he won't need me and then say .
If I knew after the fact (God forbid)...I would say wish him a happy life with his prostitutes, and proceed to be checked for stds.
Why should guys who frequent prostitutes date in the 1st place?


thats a bit harsh aint it?

i can point my finger at a few ladies on here that would have more than 3 men in a week!!!
and there on here still looking to add to the collection of men and you jump up saying this sort of crap? oh pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
if 1 man from here sleeps with either of these girls on here its just as bad as sleeping
with a friggin prostitute only theres doing it for free!!
so why should these ladies be allowed to be on here picking up men and sleeping with the WHOLE POF? get ova ya self stupid..
 Thunderstruck29
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 51
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For the women, how would you feel dating a guy who...
Posted: 1/29/2010 7:00:08 AM
This should be an easy one to find an answer to.

All you gotta do is ask somebody who dates a trucker......


As for the fantasy that a condom makes somebody an invulnerable superman who will not contract anything
BWA-HAAHAAHAAHAAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

•I am guessing you never heard of Hepatitis C?

•I am guessing you never heard of a condom breaking?

•I am guessing you never heard one hooker at the courthouse complaining to the other hooker about the johns who pay extra for bareback?

From my own experience of being in the courthouse regularly and talking to police and magistrates, as well as dealing with addicts in rehab, I can assure you most prostitutes are drug users.
And drug users are risk takers.
They don't care about their own health, let alone yours. They just care about the next fix.
And the biggest danger you face as a sexual person is in havin sex with drug users.
Go ask your local health department sanitarian and he or she will be happy to explain to you the single biggest group of at-risk people in your community for STDs and AIDS are drug users.


I once lived with a swinger who had sex with probably about 90 men and women in her life. All of it bareback. She never once contracted any STDs. However, she never would sleep with drug users.
On the other hand, there were people in our neighborhood who had everything. And they got it off druggies.
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