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 ghostdog1973
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 235
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to Page 10 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
wild heart...

a man as defined as being cheap...

this is a negative bullet with women...gold diggers or just regular women...its a turn off for women when a man is 'cheap' with them..

i guess that means that women DO place value on themselves when a man spends money on her...

no one has ever heard a man say a woman is "cheap"....

the only possible similarity is when a man labels a woman maybe as 'prude' or 'not sexy" or "too independent"

whatever...


but virtually all women are turned off by a man that is "cheap"

and men often times interprets that as women are "gold diggers"

its because women have been conditioned for centuries that their way up in the world is with man that can provide and take care of them financially because women historically cannot take care of themselves and children financially without a man.
 Ron429
Joined: 2/26/2009
Msg: 236
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History
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/29/2010 10:51:01 AM
Yeah, GoSunset has it correct. I recently almost married one until she was demanding a marquis cut, 2 carats, internallyflawless, and about 12-15K on local markets. My sisters reminded me that if she was truly in love with me she should have been happy with whatever a man was offering. (Her reason was that she did not want to be embarrassed by "stepping down" in front of her children). There were multiple other indications, such as telling me what to do with my real estate, IRA, etc. etc. Hey, I dodged a bullet, but you learn from such an experience with these ****es.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 237
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/29/2010 10:58:58 AM

So here's the question that needs answering the gold diggers.

if you gals want the man with money and such...how many of you ladies once your man gives you some money that you are digging for do the womanly things?

cooking for him, cleaning his house, washing his clothes and having sex with him whenever he wants it?

I mean if i'm gonna be paying for a gal to improve her quality of life, then I expect my money to give me a good return for my investment...



 wild heart
Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 238
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/29/2010 11:24:02 AM

a man as defined as being cheap...


Cheap is when someone has the money to buy a new air conditioner, yet wants to keep the old one that uses up all sorts of electricity or doesn't work properly.

Anyone can be cheap this way. I know women who are cheap too. My brother's ex-wife was cheap. She never bought him anything. He gets a new GF who then buys him a new coat, new shoes etc.

Don't assume that only men are cheap because some of us know better.


guess that means that women DO place value on themselves when a man spends money on her...


So if I buy my date a meal or a new coat, a man wouldn't place value on himself? Which translates to "feels good".

Everyone likes it when people buy them a gift and paying for dinner is a gift too.

I totally get what you are saying, but some people really "get" the issue (and have evolved) and are tired of hearing men complain about this. I bet you that there are more threads about how men have to pay for this or that than there are threads about cheap men or how he used me for sex.

But bring it back to basics, alot of men will always go for the woman who is the gold digger, despite there being a whole whack of women out there who do think 50/50 is right. Simply because she knows how to use her "feminine wiles" to pull men in. She's kind, feminine, seemingly compassionate. I've seen this type of woman many times, and most men think she is so nice and she is "what a true woman is supposed to be". Most men don't even realize what is happening until the relationships goes sour. I'm not saying this to belittle men, but I really think it's the truth. Each sex has it's own weaknesses.
 ghostdog1973
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 239
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/29/2010 11:36:12 AM
wild heart- my point is men dont' find it less attractive if a woman actually is cheap...

i also do not feel more attracted to a woman who buys me clothes...

i think its nice and sweet, but i do not expect a woman to 'spend' money on me...

actually the best presents i ever received from a woman cost hardly anything at all...

i was more impressed with the thought she put into the gifts....they held special meanings...i still keep those gifts and will keep 'em forever likely...even tho i haven't been w/that girl in more than 10 years.

if a girl doesn't fix her a/c...or doesn't fix her car properly- i'd get onto her about not taking care of her stuff and if she were to ask me to fix 'em for me, that w/be a turnoff...

and personally i really am not too interested in a woman paying for dinner, even if we are dating and bf/gf....

that's just me...now i'm not a guy that lavishes gifts on a woman as i am not a man that blows my money on all sorts of material things to make myself have the latest thing that is "out" ...in fact my ex wife- i gave her a cubit zarconia ring for our engagement (her request) and her value rose in my eyes as I knew she wasn't worried about the material things in this life...
 wild heart
Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 240
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/29/2010 11:48:18 AM
^^ghost dog - one can go to the dollar store and get great gifts. It's the thought behind them. And for me, I am passionate about food so a man buying me dinner for my BD? Definitely means something to me because he knows I'm a foodie. Then on the other hand, he could make me dinner and it could mean the same thing or buy me some candy from the dollar store. Just depends on the situation.

A man may like a certain type of cap. I'll go out and buy it for him. The price is not the issue. He appreciates it because of the thought. My brother was very happy with his new coat and shoes because his ex had never done that for him. He was pretty proud about it. You gonna tell me he didn't think grow more fond of her for getting him those items? Even I said to him "nice having a real girlfriend eh?"

Men do think women are cheap once they break up, this thread is proof. While together, the man doesn't think of this because of his weakness.


if a girl doesn't fix her a/c...or doesn't fix her car properly- i'd get onto her about not taking care of her stuff and if she were to ask me to fix 'em for me, that w/be a turnoff...


For some men, they would like being asked. Some men feel needed in this way. Some would agree, some would disagree. Other men would think a woman is too independant because she won't ask him.


and personally i really am not too interested in a woman paying for dinner, even if we are dating and bf/gf....


Well if we go by this thread, alot of men would appreciate this simply because most women "never" do that.

I'm not into people who are material, but I'm not into people who go on and on about "materialism".

Easy going would be in the middle.
 ghostdog1973
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 241
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/29/2010 11:56:37 AM
wild-

i would rather offer to pay for her a/c or fix her car when i see it needs tending too. that makes me feel better about taking care of my woman than sitting around waiting and doing nothing 'knowing' something is broken and i don't fix it...

i get more joy out of doing something like that when she appreciates it (she has to appreciate it or i won't do it again) than to have her ask me to do something for her....that costs money...


of course i love for a girl to buy me things from time to time, but i would not think she was cheap if she did not...because its not the money spent that is what counts...its the thought she was thinking about me...

i'd rather my gf come over and clean my house or wash my clothes....than for her to spend $100 on a shirt for me...
 mydoggie
Joined: 7/19/2007
Msg: 242
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/29/2010 2:40:39 PM
congrats Ron429
.....sounds like you really dodged a bullet. I never heard of a girl demanding that her engagement ring have a min number of carats.
 ghostdog1973
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 243
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/29/2010 4:35:01 PM

sounds like you really dodged a bullet. I never heard of a girl demanding that her engagement ring have a min number of carats.


i had a buddy was engaged to his college sweetheart...they were living together and she was pressuring him hard (after they graduated and had decent jobs) for them to get married.

she wanted at least $4K ring...said not to bother if he didn't buy her one...it was what she wanted...

he wouldn't listen to old ghostdog about kicking her to the curb for this ridiculous demand...(she was cute as hell and had a super sweet personality)

he finally saved up money and bought it...then he was riding in the car with her, HIS mom called HER......telling her he'd gotten the ring and it was gorgeous..(why his mom said this i have no clue)...

so he was telling me how mad he was at his mom for opening her big mouth (he'd yet to officially propose)...

i told him it was a blessing in disguise...


i said- his mom just bought him at least a year before he had to offer her the ring and actually propose...with her knowing he had it...he could just hold it adn let her simmer...
 ChampagneNakedMore
Joined: 8/14/2009
Msg: 244
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/29/2010 6:44:54 PM
I agree with you.
The fact of the matter is 100 years ago a women didnt pay for a thing. Women were courted and loved and adored and waited on and respected....
Now adays men sleep with us before marrying us, expect us to pay for dinner and expect sex well and truely before marriage.

Sucks.

I was born in tha wrong era.
 ChampagneNakedMore
Joined: 8/14/2009
Msg: 245
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/29/2010 6:46:38 PM
Oh and just FYI...
My future engagement right is sitting in Tiffany and co and is worth a lot more that 4k and if a guy doesnt think im worth that then he sure as %^& is not worth marring and certainly doesnt deserve the privilege of calling me his wife!!!
 durandal26
Joined: 3/16/2008
Msg: 246
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/29/2010 11:35:11 PM

The fact of the matter is 100 years ago a women didnt pay for a thing. Women were courted and loved and adored and waited on and respected....
Now adays men sleep with us before marrying us, expect us to pay for dinner and expect sex well and truely before marriage.

Sucks.

I was born in tha wrong era.


LMAO....

I would make a comment about the education system in Australia, but of course there are ignorant people everywhere, including Canada and United States.

Fact 1: 100 years ago women could not vote, own property, run for office, be independent, could not work in many jobs, etc. etc.

Fact 2: Sex is neither a reward, bribe, gift, nor is it something you endure. If you think it is any of those, you should seek therapy.

Fact 3: Paying for your own expenses is something that you should be doing.
 PrinceCharmingsCousin
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 247
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/29/2010 11:59:33 PM
Thats funny, because 100yrs ago, you'd get NO SAY in what your ring was, quite possibly NO SAY in who you married, that would be between your father and suitors.
you'd also likely have no job, and if you did, it would pay next to nothing, you'd get no vote. You think women were respected and waited on 100-150yrs ago....unless you had some kind of position of stature...I don't think so (at least the waited on aspect)...you were there to watch the household, cook & clean for your man, pump out babies, and raise them.

Men sleep with you before marrying you...so you expect them to give you money for it later?? sounds like something to me....

BTW if they sleep with you...its because you want/agree to, otherwise its rape.

You honestly think women don't expect sex before marriage?? what weird place do you come from where women don't want sex? The only reason men make a big deal about women paying for anything at all...is twofold a) to many women are cheap/into the man's money and b) women can have jobs/careers now...and make as much if not more then men. As opposed to 100yrs ago.
 Morris Choco
Joined: 12/20/2009
Msg: 248
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History
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/30/2010 1:31:17 AM

But I think it's the entitlement that affects people. If a lady expects a guy to finance things for her, from dates to living expenses, from an entitlement point of view, OR out on the chase for someone who can do that specifically for her, she's a "gold-digger". Even if her needs aren't grand. It goes beyond a same-old-same-old courting process where the guy picks up 90%+ of the bill or 90%+ of the bills... it's about being taken care of like kid or pet.

I think guys can be weary of said women, so if they demand a guy to buy them a drink to arrogantly "give them a chance to talk with me", then he'll hastily call her one -- making an assumption that may be right, may be wrong (but it carries the same attitude as a classic 'gold digger').


Stop spending money on women, stop emailing them - just STOP. See what happens, ya know.
I agree with both comments 1000 % Its just so much harder to do the second though unless you are cool with being by yourself since alot of women are scarred to talk to a guy they are interested in. I definitely don't do the buying women drinks in the bar, club, etc. Only if we are dating if not we are going dutch and if she doesn't like that are think I'm cheap that's okay that is her opinion. It's not true but people believe what they believe. I just like it that way so nobody feels anyway at the end. I don't feel like she just tried to get my "little money as alot of chicks like to say" for eating and she doesn't feel like she owes me anything either (which I'm sure a majority don't think anyway).
 ghostdog1973
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 249
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/30/2010 8:09:10 AM

I agree with you.
The fact of the matter is 100 years ago a women didnt pay for a thing. Women were courted and loved and adored and waited on and respected....
Now adays men sleep with us before marrying us, expect us to pay for dinner and expect sex well and truely before marriage.

Sucks.

I was born in tha wrong era.


Yes women might not have paid for a thing but that was because of course, they had no real earning potential- except maybe as a whore...the world's oldest profession. lol

honestly i think right now in western society- the roles have been reversed. women have the 'power' and man has become pussified. with women having more equality in education and earning ability, they don't "need" men to court, love, adore, wait on and respect them...

its really to the doing of women- yall wanted to be equal...and now that things are more equal, yall dont' like it so much.

Why? because it goes against the natural order of things. the way things have been done for centuries...

Even still- back before all this stuff came about- while men have done what you said- women also knew their place. they cooked, cleaned and took care of their man. they respected that the man was the man and that they were the woman. they knew their place and they knew the man's place.

it was a better marriage of things IMO- each gender played to their strengths which was the other's weakness.

now we got women wanting to be men and then want men to still do everything for them...

so get over it...


My future engagement right is sitting in Tiffany and co and is worth a lot more that 4k and if a guy doesnt think im worth that then he sure as %^& is not worth marring and certainly doesnt deserve the privilege of calling me his wife!!!


that comment right there is the "princess entitlement"...trust me- its not a quality that men find attractive...
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 250
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/30/2010 11:17:38 AM
Champagne,

The fact of the matter is 100 years ago a women didnt pay for a thing.

Because they didn't have any money that was 100% their own -- only from a daddy or guy they got hitched with.

Women were courted and loved and adored and waited on and respected....

Women couldn't vote, they were treated as baby-makers. Respected? Depends on the guy -- same as today. However, in another sense, they were less respected, but many/most didn't mind it because they were raised as that's how women should be. Waited on? Actually, they'd be waited on to finish cleaning the kitchen, but I digress...

Now adays men sleep with us before marrying us

Just the same as you sleep with men before marrying them.

expect us to pay for dinner

Nope, sorry. There is absolutely ZERO cultural push toward women paying for all the dates. Zero. Advice: don't let yourself be influenced by revisionist history.

expect sex well and truely before marriage

... and so do women, JUST as much. If you disagree, then you'd have to say a majority of non-married couples having sex is a guy raping the woman (date rape). A -majority- of ALL sex situations outside of any marriage. Do you really believe that?

I was born in tha wrong era.

I don't think you'd like it. If a woman's deemed attractive and in the right social class or worked her way up to the right social class, they would probably get a more of a "princess" treatment, I'll grant you that. However, if that is your dream/goal, that's really sad. You would basically be living off of a guy like a 13 year old lives off their parents. Women were seen (and still are in some sub-cultural circles) as pets or kids. If you're attractive and a great one, yeah, you'd be respected like a sugar daddy respects his gal. If not -- clean the floors. :)

You wouldn't have liked that era.
 wild heart
Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 251
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/1/2010 2:02:22 PM
she wanted at least $4K ring...said not to bother if he didn't buy her one...it was what she wanted...


I don't get this either....I think there is a club of women for this. There are a bunch at work.

Personally for me about rings is what it looks like, the actual setting. If it has gems in it, how are they placed? It could be just a band and be very nice. Besides, I can't wear a huge rock because I have huge knuckles and the ring just moves around so I would prefer a band anyway :)

A ring that is different (which I don't find those diamond ones to be) is much more cherished, at least to me. Besides, it is just too much money to be wearing around - I'd be scared to lose it!

As for a man buying drinks? I don't care, I'll give him the money and like the fact that he is the one that goes up and waits at the bar for them. I think the whole buying a woman a drink thing went out in the 90's anyway.
 SylvanSwan
Joined: 8/5/2008
Msg: 252
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/1/2010 2:46:21 PM
@mjyawn67



A golddigger to me is one that a few dates in starts dropping hints on how she can't pay for this or that!!!! RED FLAG guys!!!


So is she asking for money, or just telling you how broke she is?

If it is the latter, then I am willing to bet she is just poor at budgeting her money.

In any case, both are red flags. I cannot tell you how many ladies I know that are totally broke but yet shop up a storm like they are rich. Like really, nobody sees the designer tag when you are wearing the damned clothes!

A good number of people are on a budget however, if done correctly, I don't see why there is no reason a lady cannot afford a little treat now and then for her man?
 RonnieB77
Joined: 8/1/2009
Msg: 253
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/1/2010 5:04:45 PM
Are there women willing to go dutch? Why don't I ever meet that kind?
 wild heart
Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 254
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/1/2010 6:31:47 PM
Because men generally don't go for those ones. They are still stuck in the old mentality (just as women are).

My father has told me alot about his choices in women over the years and admitted his weaknesses to me, but did he regret it? Nope.

Most women who are willing to go dutch don't have the patience to pander to a man's ego by being all feminine and "nice" to every man that she meets. And those are the type of women that men on here claim are missing nowadays.

It's funny how years ago I read that men wanted women to start being more independant. Now it seems they don't want us to. I really think women have been listening, but maybe we should have just ignored the lot of you and things would have been okay? LMAO.

I'm not saying this in a "blame" way, I'm just saying. We are wired a certain way by the old ways and by our parents ways. Gonna take a few decades to weed that out.

Besides, why do YOU keep paying. Insist on dutch if paying bothers you that much. If you say you don't want to lose the interest of the lady, then you should just shut up :)
 Ender330
Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 255
view profile
History
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/1/2010 10:08:06 PM
Abraham Shakespeare, $31M Florida lottery winner, found dead 9 months after disappearing

The Plant City, Fla., backyard where Shakespeare was discovered is linked to a woman who claims the lottery winner gave her $1 million after they became friends.

Yea...I want to see the person who says their ain't no GOLD DIGGERS. I'm not saying she buried him in her yard.....um but...he was in a 5 foot grave, covered with a concrete slab!
Oh and she sent text messages and gifts to his family pretending to be him...saying that he was doing well.

Fuk her and Fuk Steve Harvey too!
 kiwis01
Joined: 1/25/2010
Msg: 256
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/1/2010 11:03:10 PM
The term gold digger was used way long before the book written. It is the usa laws that corrupted people not the book, terms or either males or females.
 RonnieB77
Joined: 8/1/2009
Msg: 257
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/2/2010 6:52:56 AM
>>>Most women who are willing to go dutch don't have the patience to pander to a man's ego by being all feminine and "nice" to every man that she meets. And those are the type of women that men on here claim are missing nowadays.


Wild heart.....Most of my ex's are the super independent non feminine outdoorsy type, as selfish and non pandering as any guy. But women do love to pick and choose their favorite double standards.

If I'm paying anyway a little pandering sounds nice.
 forumologist
Joined: 2/23/2008
Msg: 258
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/2/2010 7:08:35 AM
Women like men with resources.

Men primarily want to know "is she hot."

Can we stop pretending this needs discussed or analyzed?


No pretending and you need to get your head out of the 1950's.

I assure you, lots of women with resources of their own can now afford to be primarily interested in whether a man is HOT or not. They don't have to settle for someone they aren't attracted to to survive. Of course for many, he also has to have a great personality and attitude. Looks and charm ALONE will only get you so far.

Get with the times. I've never once looked at a mans resources as being what interests me about him. I take as much pride in earning my own resources as any man does. Why shouldn't I. Oh is that sense of pride reserved for men only. Pfffft. Yes I know some men think they are the ONLY ones entitled (yes many men have a HUGE ENTITLEMENT complex - hence so many single chavenist jerks) to a sense of pride but you need to get over it.

You also think you should be the only ones with the resources to be able to CHOOSE someone attractive while we have to settle for a gorilla because we are poor. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

If I am going to put up with a man he better be good lookin' lol.
 December1980
Joined: 9/15/2009
Msg: 259
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/2/2010 8:13:25 AM
OP....

Steve Harvey is talking from a black man's perspective in that yes there are lots of single black women raised by mothers and no fathers who pay for themselves because they don't feel they can trust any man to actually be real and pay for a simple drink and want nothing in return.

However, in other cases, there are women who come off with intitlement and that a man should prove to her he likes her and wants to be with her by paying for an expensive dinner and drinks. To me, there is no duty in a man paying for a drink. Paying for a drink only says he has 40 bucks in his pocket... not how he really truly thinks a man can and should treat a woman.

And towards the term Golddigger, the term is used looser now then before. However, a Golddigger, is just that. a woman who dates with only the intention of getting a guys money. And yes it can start with a drink. Just like catching the Swine Flu can start with a simple handshake. Sometimes some women use the "drink" as a way to see how open a guy is to paying for things. And many a man have started with a drink and within months payed some rent, jewlery, etc.

Best case is talk before the date. and try to make the first date money free. Meet for a walk at a book store. Or if weather permitts, just talk and walk in the park and really get to know one another. Then see the vibe, talk about the feelings on who pays for what and when.

Most of this stuff can be stopped with real honest communication on ones true feelings and if you realize that during a conversation, you and the person do not vibe, then go seperate ways. But people do not do that because they basically have alterior motives to get money or sex and so they say what wants to be heard and it gets ugly after that...
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