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 SylvanSwan
Joined: 8/5/2008
Msg: 269
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to Page 11 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
I think honeyangel has a point.

If I read anything on a guy's profile stating "no golddiggers" then I just pass him by. It is totally negative, and I avoid negative people like the plague. I don't want or need a man that is so worried about his money.

Quite frankly, if his money is so important, then he should make love to it instead. And when he is dying in the hospital, perhaps his money will come visit him in his last hours.

If these men think that all women are golddiggers, then perhaps they should just turn gay and date men.

Just my thoughts.

~crazyhorsewoman~
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 270
view profile
History
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/4/2010 6:27:44 AM
^^^^ With "love" like that I think I'll take the money instead.

Money never calls ones masculinity into question or hits below the belt.
 SylvanSwan
Joined: 8/5/2008
Msg: 271
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/4/2010 9:09:43 AM
Ok colonelingus, what would you suggest for those guys to do who are so worried about their money and view every woman as a potential gold digger?

And I did not intend to "calls ones masculinity into question or hits below the belt." My apologies, please forgive.

It was merely a suggestion because obviously he would feel less vulnerable with a man as a partner....but I guess he can always get a dog or cat as a companion too.

Do you not think that being coined a "golddigger" just because you are woman is an insult to our characters as women? Ya ya, I know there are a few that exist out there, but I'm sure the percentage is low.

Nevertheless, as soon as I hear that word, I'm gone as fast as a racehorse from the starting gate. So move outta my way or I'll kick like one too.

~crazyhorsewoman~
 Aloha_Beauty78
Joined: 1/21/2010
Msg: 272
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/4/2010 9:43:40 AM
Not too sure if I agree with Harvey...all I know from personal experience the cheapest men were the ones who made the most money and furthermore, treated me horribly because they were more concerned with making more money than family and loved ones.

The best relationships I ever had were with men who didn't make the best money but were the most giving in regards to what came from their heart. ALL THE WAY.

I can disgress though that any man who says " all women are gold diggers" usually state so due to personal experience. Although they do partially have the right to express such a frustration....I can honestly laugh and say that perhaps the problem is not the woman, but him. If he allows a woman to use him for money...then its his fault as well for not setting boundaries. I can also say that stating " all women" is quite ludicrous....when I was single, being the typical woman...I did manage to scope out the other competition on here...lol...and I was quite amazed at the huge proportion of educated beautiful successful women in my area. I am sure they made just as money or more than some of the men in my area. Ironically and humorously, I noticed most mens' profiles in which I was looking at...90% left their profession blank. If a woman can be successful, make alot of money and still be open with what her job is, than a man should disclose his profession on here as well.
 wild heart
Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 273
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/4/2010 9:47:15 AM
No woman can be a gold digger unless a man lets her.

Frankly, from having discussions with my father about this - it's your own damn ego's fault. He has allowed himself to be caught up in these situations a few times.

It all comes back to the same thing. Alot men just can't seem to "live without women" or live without "chasing" them etc. I keep wondering what would happen if they stopped?

Would their dreams of women finally asking them out and paying for them instead come true? Highly doubtful since most women seem to be capable of being without men more.

I think this is due to the fact that men are simply not raised or able to be as friendly with their male counterparts as women are with theirs. Women can be fulfilled emotionally by their female friends (we just learn to go without sex), I don't believe men can be as emotionally fulfilled by their male friends.

It's just the way it is - yet there are hardly any men on here who would admit this. It's weak, but they let themselves get used for money because they are weak. I don't see why admitting a weakness is so darn bad.
 December1980
Joined: 9/15/2009
Msg: 274
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/4/2010 9:57:09 AM
If a man cannot be used for money then a woman cannot be used for sex.

I idea is that a true gold digger woman usually does not come off as hey give me 1000 dollars. It can be where the woman starts off being nice and then "needs help" and the man who is honest hearted says ok. then he is working or really trying to get to know her, she asks for more help and more help. until she has bilked the guy for thousands because he is honest hearted and really believes that she wants him for him.

So, too a man who talkes about love to a woman and goes on dates with her and hangs out with her, but always gets a blowjob and or sex from her. Then the woman looks up.. has had lots of sex, but it meant nothing and when the man is tired of her.. the honest hearted woman sees what he was really about.

so, true it is weak to give up sex to a man who makes a woman believe he is real, honest an true. just like it is weak for a man to pay some bills and help a woman out because he honestly likes her wants to help her out.
 wild heart
Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 275
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/4/2010 10:09:12 AM
^^^thing is though - most women have long ago stopped b*tching about being used for sex. Men however cannot let go with the money thing. I think if we did a thread search, the money issue would be the clear winner.

Think about how annoying it is listening to some woman b*tching about how she was used for sex and men are bad. What do you think of this woman?

And yes, I agree with you - we all have our weaknesses, but often this translates into blame on both sides.
 December1980
Joined: 9/15/2009
Msg: 276
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/4/2010 10:24:20 AM
ha ha ha ha... Wild Heart...

dozens of the women on POF B***h about men using them for sex. It is a thread dedicated to it. Its intitled something like "why do men think they can use women for sex".. lol..

so, yes i hate it, but women dogging men for the "he sexed me and didnt call" is alive a well and kicking.

So, it is annoying but both sides have compliants. a man sometimes holds his money in the same regard that a woman holds her sex. Hence why Prostitution is so big. Women know men will pay for it, and men want to pay for the woman to leave when he is done.

Which is also why a true Prostitute can get along better with men because they have a understanding of what each other wants without lies and BS.
 PrinceCharmingsCousin
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 277
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/4/2010 11:05:36 AM

I think this is due to the fact that men are simply not raised or able to be as friendly with their male counterparts as women are with theirs. Women can be fulfilled emotionally by their female friends (we just learn to go without sex), I don't believe men can be as emotionally fulfilled by their male friends.


1. Just curious how you came to that conclusion not being a man and really privy to how men are raised to be/act with each other??

I think the main difference for us is, women do the whole emotional stuff with their gfs, all the typical girl stuff, when guys get together, we make fun of each other (in jest) and we typically get together to DO something, not sit and talk about our feelings, I don't think this is a matter or how we are RAISED, honestly guys aren't into sitting and talking about our feelings, they have a name for guys who are into that....GAY.

I know that came off a bit harsh, but its true, when me and my buddies get together, its hey wanna workout, play some ball, catch a movie, shoot some pool, etc...we don't sit around the table drinking chamomille tea, with a couple boxes of kleenex pouring our hearts out, and people could try as much as they want to raise their sons this way, it wouldn't work, they'd HATE it, OR the women who will be in their lives later on would HATE it.

comes back to a comment someone made in another thread, women want a man to open up, get in touch with feminine side, yada yada, and when he does, they call him a wuss for it, etc.

As for learning to live without sex...RIGHT THERE you lose pretty much HALF the population of men.

I think also its a matter of HARD WIRING in our brains/instincts. Like the animal kingdom, males initiate the courting/mating process, not because all the other animals are saying get a girl already, but because of their instincts. So its hard wired into men to actively search out a mate, and THANK GOD it is, because if it were left to women to initiate...the species would have died out long ago lol
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 278
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/4/2010 2:04:12 PM
Funny we get gold digger threads and threads where men claim to have money trolling and profiles of men showing off their "things".

Women still posing sexy and have sexual content in profiles but they b!tch about men wanting to get them in the sack to soon.

Women b1tching men just want sex, men b1tching women just want money.


I don't give a rats azz who pays for coffee.
I can put a roof over my head and expect a man to be able to do the same.

Whole lotta b1tchin goin on.

There are women out there just for sex and men looking for a free meal/roof.

Everyone grab some tissue and blow.......
 ghostdog1973
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 279
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/4/2010 2:12:09 PM
peppermint...

you made a point I have to laugh at...

guys will blow all their money on nicest, latest fads in clothes, by a car that is over their budget, new TVs, cool bachelor pad, etc...

then get made when a woman wants a piece of it...


that's why i keep 2 cars...15 and 20 years old...an average townhouse and dress well, but not lavish...

i don't have to come across 'gold diggers' so much...even if (when my ass was gainfully employed) I made much more $ than the average guy...

i don't flaunt my earnings and so it does keep me from gold diggers and it does keep me from the gold diggers that actually give up sex quicker than normal...(damn)
 Passionate Gent
Joined: 5/2/2009
Msg: 280
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/4/2010 2:23:54 PM
Outside of a prostitute, or a widow-maker who kills for insurance money, I really think the whole gold digger characterization is misplaced.

If you really look at some of the women from less-than-affluent backgrounds who nab rich men, most of them tend to have a Princess Diana persona. Very humble, gracious, sweet and an average ability to make their men feel special.

I think personality/character is more of a motivating factor than money in how some women attract rich men. A real gold digger will get the same thing those crazy people in Nevada still digging for gold get..nothing but sand.
 wild heart
Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 282
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/4/2010 3:38:10 PM
I've not seen many men cry around each other, whereas I've had men cry with me privately.

Sorry, but men DO talk about their feelings - with women. If you don't, then I have to wonder what kind of communication you are having with your GF's.

There are some things that men will not talk to another man about, but they will with a woman. Ever discuss with your buddy about how you really feel about your Dad? I don't hear too many men discussing their relationships with their Dad with each other.

I really don't think you can argue this with me after saying what men sit around and do with each other.

It's not just when we get together - I don't see many men calling each other when they hear of a loved one dying and crying together over the phone. No, generally a man will let out his grief privately or with his wife.
 PrinceCharmingsCousin
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 283
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/4/2010 4:25:23 PM
I never said men don't cry or show emotion AT ALL...you read into that.

CLEARLY they show their wives/gfs.

and YES I can argue with you, because you said its how men are raised...I said try raising a boy to act like a girl and see what happens...if he takes to it all the other boys will dislike him, but odds are he won't take to it, because he's not wired that way.

The only men i've seen wired that way are the "flaming homosexual" type men.

I think you need to read my post again more carefully/slowly because you missed my points.
 wild heart
Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 284
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/4/2010 4:48:23 PM
So the fact that a father hugs his daughter, but shakes his son's hand has nothing to do with how he was raised to interact with other males?

As the only girl in a family with three boys, I have seen how men are raised. We all know how we "should" be raising boys vs girls. Girls are often referred to as the "little princess" before they are even born!

And frankly, you could be raised by the most masculine dude in the universe and still be gay. It happened in my family.

It starts out with the pink room for her and the blue one for him.

And yes, I agree with you that he would be looked at strangely, but isn't this just something that SOCIETY and our parents placed their influence on? Men raise their sons like this so their sons don't look "gay". You know that whole "be a man" thing. Who made the rules and said that men HAD to act like that?

Who made the rules and said that men had to pay for women? And on and on and on. Most of us are slaves to our parent's ideas and follow society along because it's the "safe" thing to do.

So basically because they learned early that they could show emotion (even though we all know that men have emotions and some can be even more emotional and even more romantic than women), with women. Men "need" women to fulfill this role since their male friends cannot. I'm not including the sex part in this particular "need". This has nothing to do with you explaining how a man acts.

Put everything together and men "need" women (in relationship-sense only) more than women "need" men. And now that most women were told by our parents and even men to become "more independant", we need them even less. Frankly, I'm not sure that's a good thing......
 PrinceCharmingsCousin
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 285
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/4/2010 5:17:52 PM
Maybe its because i'm french, but i've always hugged my dad and mom, never felt a difference or less manly, also as is french we do the double cheek kiss, although I only do that to women lol.

As far as the raising part...this is probably an age difference, but all throughout school boys are bugged/encouraged to act like girls and sit around and share their feelings...guess what...I HATED IT...so did all the other boys I went to school with.

when I used to get home i'd be drilled with more questions like this by BOTH my mom and dad...and it drove me apeshit...so there's my take on it.
 wild heart
Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 286
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/4/2010 5:48:49 PM
LOL! So I wonder if it's an english thing as I'm from Quebec and know what you mean.

It is an age difference because I don't remember anyone saying that when I was in school. Even I would have hated that, so I don't think it's a gender thing! As for your parents comment, the whole teenager thing is on another level, but even as an adult, I do not appreciate intrusive people. I think that revealing things to a person is a natural process and with some folks you just feel more comfy.

I'm not sure how to correlate gay people in my equation as I haven't done enough research into homosexuality, but I really do think that men look to women for that missing emotional piece. I suppose someone could now respond with "well what do women need men for then?". I believe men to be just as supportive, romantic and emotional as women, but different hormones change the way we go about it perhaps. Hence the reason why so many of us seek "a lover who is my best friend".

Anyhow - totally went off topic here sorry about that PCC!
 CA_ExPat
Joined: 1/1/2010
Msg: 287
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History
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/6/2010 4:43:44 PM
This species of woman has always existed in Florida and seems to be highly concentrated in the Miami Beach area. They can be found at expensive bars sizing up men by the cut of their clothes, the brand of his watch (they can id a Patek Phillipe, Audemars, or Vacheron at 30 feet) no steel Rolexes need apply. They know custom suits differ from Nordstrom's off the rack and quickly id custom shoes. Gentlemen, bring your spearguns, these babes are barracudas.

A tip off for POF profile readers is that she always wants the first meeting at the bar of an expensive restaurant so she can at least get a $150 to $300 meal even before you get to know her.

I confess, I don't have a problem with the first meeting at the bar of an expensive restaurant and have met some wonderful women. However, if after the third date she has shown no interest in you by offering to pick up a check, cooking dinner for you at her place, or otherwise shown some interest in YOU, regardless of how much in love you think you are, move on. You may, you have paid for and own the relationship 100% and may call off the game when you wish.
 sweetlikesugarcane
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 288
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/6/2010 5:55:38 PM
I am obsessed with food and still can't see why dates have to revolve around meals.

We need to open our minds to dates that are not restaurant based.

There are tons of free things to do when you are getting to know someone.
 webgarden
Joined: 9/8/2009
Msg: 289
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History
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/6/2010 7:30:40 PM
Here we go again. Yet another thread discussing the "who pays" question and the "women are only interested in money" question. geez louise, can't we just DATE and have a good time? It doesn't have to be awkward. And people just need to get over their bitter expectations. If you don't want to pay for your date, say so in your profile, or indicate coffee dates, or walks around the park for a first meet. It doesn't have to COST you anything. During that first meet, if there is chemistry, then also discuss your desire to have all subsequent dates be "dutch". Hey if that is your preference, and she doesn't like it, you've effectively weeded out the goldiggers right there, right?

I get so tired of the assumptions "all" women are after some guys money. I simply have enough of my own and I'm secure in my own right, I won't give any guy the option of paying for me, to not raise expectations on his part or assumed obligations on my part. Then again, I don't want to support some guy as a "sugar momma" either.

My most recent first date was so much fun! We met at a safe path near a ranger station, went for a walk, (we were both well-known at this park and I knew there would be many people around) and had a tailgate picnic on a table overlooking a local lake. There were birds everywhere and it was a lovely day for winter. We both had brought part of the meal, surprising each other with our great choices, having made these arrangements over the phone, no awkwardness at all. We had so much fun, we didn't want to end the date so we decided to take in a matinee, "Avatar" - amazing movie. We went dutch on the tickets. I simply stepped up and paid for mine while he was stating "two please". It wasn't awkward at all, either.

We then went to dinner after, (having still so much fun) and completely enjoyed happy hours specials, and a glass of wine. He attempted to pay for dinner, I offered to pay my half, he graciously agreed and again, no awkwardness. Unfortunately due to some other circumstances later not about money, this date isn't going to end up with more dates with me, but it was an amazing day with a great guy! (At one point, some young person off in the woods goofing off with some other teens was yelling "are you a rock star?" and in his best Elvis impression, my date muttered"why yes, yes, I am. thank you, thank you very much!" ) I'm still grinning over that one. Spontaneous fun and laughter, always free, always the best way to get to know someone.

Lighten up people. You can tell, after reading their posts, almost 100% of women on here simply want someone who has about as much as they do. I don't want to support someone, but then they don't have to support me either. If they have enough money to split a few fun activities with me, that's fine.

Bitter men who think all women have money agendas, will remain alone, with their money belts intact.
 webgarden
Joined: 9/8/2009
Msg: 290
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History
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/7/2010 10:35:08 AM
Just spoke on the phone with a friend (not a good friend, just an acquaintance) who has an ad here in my local area, pretty much my age. He has pics posted on his profile of a very large home, a Hummer, a yacht, a Harley, (none of this is his) and then a couple of himself. Not recent pics of himself mind you, either.

During our conversation (where he was asking about a girlfriend of mine, whom I would NEVER introduce to this guy) I asked him what those pics are about on his profile.

He said that was to weed out goldiggers. He said anyone in a first email/message/chat exchange who mentions the items in those pics, or being impressed by the "toys" he actually doesn't even own, he rules out as any kind of match because he assumes they are after money. I told him I happen to think he's going about this the wrong way, some people would just ask out of curiosity, not because they want him just because they think he owns those big expensive items. Hey, most of the women in my circle own their own house, nice car, well maybe not a motorcycle, but we have nice things too.

But hey, maybe there are other guys out there that do that. Personally, I'm a little turned off when someone posts things like that. If they truly own them, they are bragging. If they don't, they are sort of fibbing. Either way, probably not a match for me. I'm sure not posting my house, car or toys in a personals ad. Wouldn't that seem weird for a woman to do that?

I do, however, like it when someone posts pics of them actually doing an activity that I might enjoy. So if they have a pic of them in hiking gear, using a kayak, or camping gear, or fishing/boating gear, then I will mention I like those things too, and indeed I own my own gear. It makes for a common interest. But it's not because I know items like that can be very expensive or that I want their gear. I have my own.
 Green Eyed Swede
Joined: 1/22/2010
Msg: 291
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/7/2010 8:51:07 PM
Wait a minute, Mr. GQ Sunset. I could give a rat's a** how much a man makes or what he drives. in fact (and you can ask ANYONE who knows me) if a guy even tells me he drives an expensive car, that's it - instant turn-off. Since I was BORN I knew the most important thing for me was to establish my own career and financial stability. I might not have made millions and have had some hard times, but I REFUSE to depend on a man for my well-being. Times have changed, honey, and I think THAT's what worries and scares men most. We women don't need to rely on men for our success and finances. We can make our own way without them. A man is a happy addition to my life - not the center of it. And has it even occurred to you that men manipulate and count on that very financial power over women to get what THEY want? If women are only interested in men who make money, what about men who are only interested in the way a woman looks? (and by that i mean, the younger, bustier and dumber the better, in most cases). Men of all ages can find a woman to love him - DESPITE his pot belly or bank account, but you'd be hard pressed to find too many men as equally eager to partner up with a woman over 50 - even if he's 72. Yes, if you REALLY want to go there - into the realm of inequality and shallowness among the sexes, I'm afraid there's no contest. You'll be loved and respected, despite your age, pocketbook or pot belly. But a woman over 50 (sometimes even 40) in this society isn't just less-than desirable to men - you CEASE TO EXIST TO THEM.
 Green Eyed Swede
Joined: 1/22/2010
Msg: 292
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/7/2010 8:58:20 PM
YOU "get over it", GhostDog. I don't want to be a man and neither does any woman who simply wants to have the same rights and respect as men. Who the he** brought you up in a cave? What part of women finally becoming respected and independent "goes against the natural order of things"?? Do you even know ANY history beyond the simpleton mind set of the western civilizaton we have only recently been inhabiting? Have you not heard of matriarchal societies? you say women "knew their place"?!? Yeah, jamming their foot right next to the one you already have firmly lodged in your mysogynist, narrow-minded, Neandrathal excuse for a mind. Go beat your chest a few times, realize you can't create life and there is little to no use for you, then come back and tell me we women want to be like you. LOL. Comedy.
 PrinceCharmingsCousin
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 293
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/7/2010 9:20:37 PM
Not to be a d**k, but you are totally off topic, and derailing the thread, b) 40yr olds rock hehe, its the nature of the beast, women are just as shallow as men, but generally women want older guys...and be honest, the whole cougar craze hasn't struck your neck of the woods yet? LOTS OF MEN want 40yr old ladies...just so happens its usually not the ones they want. 50yr old guys want 20yr olds, and 25yr old ladies usually go for older...on avg in the pof profiles, if a woman is 25 she typically looks for 26-35 yr old men...as an example.

Back to the topic at hand.
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 294
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/8/2010 5:52:04 AM
I prefer being with rich men. Its nice to be spoiled and pampered. To say it isnt would be a lie. Some women dont mind the lazy broke guys that never take them to dinner night out or do anything for them, so not all women are golddiggers.
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