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 ReallyCleverOne
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 71
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to Page 2 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

I don't think his book is worth reading any more of than I already did.

Again. Someone running off at the mouth about a book they did not read. Excerpts of anything can be taken out of context. Read the entire book before you pass judgment.
 WHITE CANOPY
Joined: 3/29/2009
Msg: 74
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 10/4/2009 12:43:48 PM
YOUCANTIMAGINE, i tip my hat to you. thank you because if all men think like this, im shooting myself now!!!! your replies just saved my azz...
 ReallyCleverOne
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 75
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 10/4/2009 12:48:48 PM

Apparently you're an adamant supporter of the book, so I'm inclined to think you must share Steve Harvey's views and support them... How very sad for you.

I've read it twice and found it funny and enlightening both times. Do I take everything he says as the gospel? No. Unlike some people, I can read a body of work and not have the unrealistic expectation that I will agree with everything the author says. But because I do not agree with something doesn't mean the author is wrong or should automatically be discredited. It's called having perspective. The book was written after he noticed a trend in the letters that he received from women seeking advice about men & relationships and after he discussed the recurring questions with his group of male friends. At no point in this book does he say that he has been appointed by God to be the official representative of every single man in the world. Maybe some of what he says got you bent out of shape because he hit a sore spot and you felt convicted about something in your own life. Just sayin.
 ReallyCleverOne
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 79
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 10/4/2009 1:27:31 PM

Harvey and men like him, are a very substantial contributer to the problems that men and women have with one another... because guys buy into his bullshit and think they should be less feeling, less nurturing, and more "manly"; and women buy into his bullshit and think they're wasting their time trying to gain respect for anything other than how good of a fuk they can be

Newsflash!!! This world has no shortage of unfeeling, unnuturing men. And they were out there long before Steve Harvey or "men like him" opened their mouths or put pen to paper. Don't pretend like Steve Harvey invented the concept or was glorifying it or justifying it as acceptable behavior. What he said is that men don't communicate their feelings and emotions in the same way as women. That's a freaking fact, not something he pulled out of his a$$.

And it's obvious you didn't read the book because your stance on what you think he had to say to women could not be more wrong. If nothing, he conveyed what very high regard & respect he has for women. He did not at any point in his book advise women that they didn't need to have anything going for them other than being good in bed. He urged women to keep their eyes open to the games that men play and remember that women and men don't process things the same so the way a man shows love isn't necessarily going to look the way a woman shows her love. He was trying to get women to understand things from A male perspective, not every male perspective.
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 83
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 10/4/2009 4:03:15 PM

Again. Someone running off at the mouth about a book they did not read. Excerpts of anything can be taken out of context. Read the entire book before you pass judgment.

It is you who are "running off at the mouth".

I haven't taken anything "out of context", so that's pretty much just a cheap shot unless you want to say the OP has paraphrased him all wrong so far as the topic of this thread goes. I read the lengthy sections of the book provided to me by the publisher which they no doubt put online in an attempt to entice people who buy and read books (such as myself) to buy and read theirs. Presumably these are the better parts of the book, not the worse. These, as well as the author's appearances all over the media peddling his "ideas", have all been more than enough for me to form judgements about the author, what he's saying, and the book in general -- namely that I did not want to read any more of it. I feel like I'm already more than familiar with what he's selling. Neither you nor any of the many other fans of the book have said or done anything which might cause me to reconsider.

Your illogical position seems to be that one has to read a whole book in order to decide whether or not one wants to read it. So, in short, I decline your asinine command to me to "read the entire book before you pass judgment".


At no point in this book does he say that he has been appointed by God to be the official representative of every single man in the world.

Not explicitly, but that's being too legalistic and missing the essential point. He does claim to be giving women the low-down on men. All men. I've yet to hear him qualify any of his sweeping generalizations, or of him say "well, this is me and my experiences, but other guys' mileage will obviously vary considerably...". In his world men are simple, and they're all the same, which can be the only basis for a mass market advice book written for a female audience who is interested in men-as-relationship-objects.
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 84
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 10/4/2009 4:06:39 PM
That's actually an interesting read. (uh, NOT the book, the PDF from Dept of Labor! lol)
Although it did NOT say there "is no gender wage gap"--it admitted there is a 21.5% raw wage gap. PLEASE get your OWN facts right!
What it CONCLUDED is that this RAW wage gap isn't necessarily a bias against women in the workplace, but rather reflects women's choices of jobs.
"Although additional research in this area is clearly needed, this study leads to the unambiguous conclusion that the differences in the compensation of men and women are the result of a multitude of factors and that the raw wage gap should not be used as the basis to justify corrective action. Indeed, there may be nothing to correct. The differences in raw wages may be almost entirely the result of the individual choices being made by both male and female workers."

Of course, a feminist would point out that there is societal bias against what women are good at, and the reason why jobs that women are drawn to--child care, teaching, etc--are so low-paying is because society UNDERVALUES the contributions that women make [compared to those that men make]. I personally would like to point out, though, that society IS changing. I know THREE stay-at-home dads. I know three stay-at-home moms as well. Everyone else--works or is retired.

At the end of the day, though--I do not understand women who say "He'd better pay or I'm not going" or even worse to me "He makes more money so he should pay my way". WTF, ladies?!

What's weird about me is, if a guy and I don't agree on the little things, I'm not going out with him. I suggest you boys take the same strategy to heart. If NO men would date women who insist you pay, all women --even the princesses-- would stop insisting you pay.
===========
EDIT TO ANSWER BELOW: YOUR definition is not fact. "Wage gap" means "income disparity". Not necessarily to do with one job. Jeezus, just change your damn screen name, would you?!
May I suggest "Nofactsjustwomensuck"? It seems to fit you, somehow.
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 92
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 10/5/2009 8:54:00 AM
Nah, I just double-dog dare the guys to buy me dinner, in front of their friends. THAT does it every time.
 Tarah0128
Joined: 2/25/2009
Msg: 97
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 10/23/2009 2:36:06 PM
I don't see what the problem is ~ no one can take advantage of you without your permission
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 100
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 10/23/2009 4:22:56 PM

very few men who actually possess gold are hard up for dates.

Yea, the golddiggers are on them like locusts on a field of grain before they know what hit them.
 startle
Joined: 7/22/2008
Msg: 102
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 10/23/2009 5:11:25 PM
if a woman is being pursued by an enormous hoard of salivating men....a fellow might ask himself...how oh how do i convince that ravishing beauty to be mine...and mine alone....such a lovely creature must be mine...perhaps i could ..shower her with gifts, take her to exotic far off lands, buy her a lovely carriage or a mansion in the country ...but wait...if she were a truly virtuous woman...a pure and pious soul ..wouldn't she want me for me and not my wealth...ah yes....i shall test her love...i shall withhold my considerable net worth and see if she wants me still....only then will i know it is true and neverending love ...that will last until the end of time...
 krisninatlanta
Joined: 8/15/2009
Msg: 103
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 10/23/2009 5:19:42 PM
here we go again....call me old fashioned but yes, if you as a man are courting me then yes you SHOULD pay.You are asking me the opportunity to get to know me in the possibility of a long lasting commitment. I do see anything wrong with women wanting a man that is financially secure, but within means, and LOVE should be the first prequalifier, along w/integrity, commitment etc. ITS funny how men always want 50/50 everything (women also)then when kids come into the picture WOMEN single handedly take MAJORITY of the responsibility in rearing them...When was the last time i saw a man take off work for a sick child (especially when he dont have full custody) and also when was the last time i saw a man have full custody of his kids?? WOMEN are seen as the primary caretakers of children, but no man contests that as wrong. So what is wrong when a woman wants a man among other things to be financially secure?

I am secure, but when i marry i want my husband to be financially secure also. I want him to be a provider and a good husband and father, and i will be a good mother, wife, and caretaker of the home.
 kiluj
Joined: 7/9/2009
Msg: 104
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 10/23/2009 5:20:20 PM
Sorry, new to forums so may not have responded right.....but the topic to me is so hot. Men not liking Gold-diggers..... Oh too bad. Let's have a forum about Men only wanting women with a hot body...even if they are dumb as a brick. Let's have women dish on that.
 VF102
Joined: 7/14/2009
Msg: 108
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/7/2010 1:19:00 PM
GQ Sunset is da man and is spot on!

Jason the Fed
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 118
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/8/2010 12:36:52 PM

Guys, here is a clue: yada yada yada

I think you've been watching too many movies of the week.

Everyone knows the place to find a gold digger is at a wedding chapel, wearing a bridal gown. Before that she can be found out on the dating circuit, in disguise, claiming she "doesn't care how much a man makes". The trait often has a long incubation or latency period and doesn't fully manifest itself for some years, showing up as full-blown affliction when she appears at the divorce court.
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 120
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/8/2010 2:48:12 PM

Guys, here is a clue: Unless you make six figures and hang out in the lobby of 5 star hotels... gold diggers ain't lookin for ya.

experience talking?
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 121
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/8/2010 2:53:55 PM

Got no money 'cause she's busy playing Mommy? Fine, child care it is and a boot to her ass back to the workforce.

Wait--is she busy "playing" mommy with your child (is it a game?)?
If it's not your child, I agree with you.
If it IS your child, well, you know what you are.

What's funny to me is when men say they've got all this pressure from work, and "all she has to do is raise the kid".
Worst case scenario if the guy screws up at work? He gets fired.
Worst-case scenario if a mom screws up that work? Her child dies.
Which is more pressure, again?
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 128
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/8/2010 6:51:43 PM
I personally think Gold Digger is simply, and only, used by men who can't seem to be wanted for themselves, who then tries buying a lady, and when that fails, too, calls her, and likely the rest of her sex: golddiggers, lol! The ways of the NICE GUY are many and varied, but they all lead back to having a truly rotten attitude about women. It's a circular firing squad, and a game they ain't nevah going to win. . . . But I suppose that for certain primates, flinging poo is satisfying, if not exactly productive. . . .

 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 131
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/8/2010 8:12:58 PM
I have read SteveHarvey book of Act Like a Lady And Think Like A Man,.Well ,I am not impressed. Men mentality are competitive, tough,combatant, conniving,vicious, if women will be thinking like a man ,then they can not bring out the gentle and loving side of the man. I have observed few women who fight their man,verbally or physically and they are the pitiful losers, while a child ,cat,dogs or any animal can get the love of a man . I think because they are not a threat to him..

In job or politics force, a woman should deal with a man as a person, she can manipulate and fight her way on top,in a charismatic way.

Talk about Gold-diggers, I don't think a man invented that term for the miners and women did not invented the term Gigolo. When a Gigolo meet a Gold-digger it is obviously a trade favor. " No Money No Honey." for there is no such thing as a free ride or free dinner.

If a man invited a lady for a drink,the man is responsible to buy her a drink,but if the man choose not to buy her a drink, then she buy herself a drink. this is just an ethical standard, she should not expect him to do what he doesn't want to do.

To stablish a rapport you have to be hospitable, if some people are not hospitable to me ,I will return the favor,of not being hospitable to them too.
Just my 2 cents
 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 132
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/8/2010 9:27:13 PM
I have to admit, my first response after reading some of the posts on this thread was to come in with guns blazing, and indignantly list all the ways in which I do not qualify as a successful golddigger.

But, upon reflection, I realized that I don't know anyone who's posted on this subject, and as such their opinions don't amount to a hill of beans in the grand scheme of my life. *I* know how I live my life and I know that at the end of the day the only opinions that matter are mine and those I share my life with.

In the mating game, men and women often rely on their perceived strengths to attract a mate:
Men will often (not always, of course) use money, power, and the offer of protection to attract a suitable mate.
Women will often (see disclaimer above) use sex, nurturing and the promise of support to attract a suitable mate.

It's a dance as old as time..though there have been significant changes over the years. To survive these days most couples need to be a two-income family. Women are providing more and more to the family income, as well as often continuing on with their "traditional" duties.


To be honest, and this may come as a surprise, I sometimes wish I had been born in an earlier time..because nowadays it really kinda sucks to be a woman, at least for me. I have to shoulder the responsibilities of a man, and also those of a woman. And dammit, I'm tired!! And before you guys scoff and start spouting off all the responsibilities you have, in my HOME I am both man and woman. I do everything. Because if I don't, it won't get done.

Like it says in my profile, I am independent, but I relish being able to depend on someone. And not for what's in their wallets.


 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 133
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/8/2010 10:27:03 PM
Who is this Steve Harvey, and why are you reading a book on how to date?

Have a personality

be interesting

be someone you would want to date.


It's not rocket science.



 Sunsation1
Joined: 7/8/2009
Msg: 134
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/8/2010 10:46:48 PM
I usually pay for my dates..and don't consider a woman a gold digger unless on the first date she is wanting me to go shopping with her and buy her all the clothes and things she wants..Men that opt out of their responsiblities are usually soon found out just as gold digging women are, but either way, if you get an offer to good to be true, it probably is!! hahahaaha
 startle
Joined: 7/22/2008
Msg: 136
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/8/2010 11:25:12 PM
it really is just a matter of who is going to give in first...in this world only the strong survive....male or female..doesn't really matter...logic doesn't always come into play...just who can tough it out....you can be soft if you want to... don't expect a reward....play fair....no...look out for yourself...
 startle
Joined: 7/22/2008
Msg: 137
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/8/2010 11:38:00 PM
hold out, ladies....cheapskates are everywhere...
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 138
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/9/2010 8:20:00 AM
msg141:
You are right, A person doesn't need to read a book on how to do a social engagement to the opposite sex, to know and befriend that person that will lead into romance.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 139
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/9/2010 9:21:47 AM
Women will often see (see disclaimer above) use sex,nurturing and the promise of support to attract a suitable mate.


Right , and I want to add more on attracting a suitable mate is to be enterested on that person in unselfish/love/kindness behavior, to each other,not one sided.
It has nothing to do with monetary who pay this or who pay that ...

This is just me, I don't depend on a man, to do things for me because I can afford to pay a handy man /mechanic /ect.etc. And his sole rule on me is a lover/mate and I am enterested on *what's in his wallet ( and in his mind) ?* That he is capable to support his self and not a "sponge" . I carry the weight of my backpack ( my responsibility to myself) and I expect him the same, walk on this journey of life to share responsibilies to each other.Sort of Give And Take..

I NEVER met a man who begrudge the meal or drinks they treat me ,I can afford to treat them back too for drinks and meals. .my 2 cents
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