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 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 195
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to Page 4 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

but as far as the FORUMS are concerned, they aren't chasing the women like that, they're just arguing against them on here.

Actually, *many* of the guys on here argue that "women are golddiggers"--not just that golddiggers exist, but that normal, everyday women ARE golddiggers because they "allow" the man to pay for dinner, or, more infamously, coffee. Also, it is regularly implied that all women are prostituting themselves by allowing men to buy their coffee.

Not very many HUMAN BEINGS think a"golddigger" is a stellar person. I think the wealthy men who actually GET golddiggers treat their relationships as they do any other business transaction: they figure they're paying to have a beautiful woman on their arms. Isn't it funny (not) that there is not term for THOSE MEN? Only the women in this mutually-agreed-upon transaction are negatively termed. Ferrrry interestink.
 Toodlez
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 200
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/10/2010 7:17:45 PM
It depends on the situation. Optimally it would go unspoken that who ever is paying gets paid for next time, or whoever is "hosting" pays. For example, if I take her to my favorite restaurant, I pay, and next week when we go to see the sequel to her favorite movie, she pays.

I'm more likely to pay if the woman acts like she doesn't want me to. I had one date where she outright expected me to pay - I sucked it up and blew fifty bucks just to never call her again. Worst part was, it was a movie she wanted to see and dinner at a place catering to vegetarians, so it was devoid of protein and hot sauce, which is all I really want for any meal.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 203
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/11/2010 1:45:05 AM

A bronze or silver-digger, depending on the level of wants & needs.

Oh great, just what we need more derogatory terms.....

Actually, a financially distraught guy or girl expecting the opposite sex to pay for their bills in order to date is being derogatory, IMO. If someone sees it as an entitlement to be taken care of in life (different metals = different levels), then a label should be had that sounds as silly as their expectations, right? :)

The only reason we think it belongs to females is because men have MADE it that way.

Well a Sugar Daddy would have a Golddigger. And guys can be gold-diggers, but there are far few dudes looking for rich women (see pool boy example). However, I do think it's growing, with young guys going after cougars! :)
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 208
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/11/2010 9:58:45 AM

Now I was a perfect husband and father for 26 years and when I got sick and couldnt work and had no money, my bible thumping wife threw me out for someone else. All women have a price.

You were "perfect"? Wow. I'd like to get a second opinion on THAT, perhaps from your ex-wife.

It's not the money.
You are misassigning motives of females, based on YOUR value system.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 210
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/11/2010 10:48:22 AM

I've done my own on here - sex gets most men everytime......but men are not only after one thing right? At least that is what I try to see, but when I see posts about gold diggers, well it automatically makes me think about the men and sex equation.

Well, it's not the ONLY thing they're going after. But if a guy comes across a profile of a woman who's showing some leg and bikini and saying they like sex, yeah -- that scores them mega-brownie points in many guys' eyes, obviously with sex-only guys regardless of how it's portrayed, and among more good catches if it's done in a tasteful way, too. Same goes for a guy with a boat & fancy car pics. Even normal ladies will be more likely to respond, and yes, gold-diggers will be drooling in that case. In either case, both are valuable commodities for most, right? :)

Any man showing off his money on his profile is a turn-off to me.

Well, depends what you mean by showing off, in terms of you being in line with the common populace. I can see how that would intimidate or even turn off some women, but a mere showing it w/o coming across as a braggart, will draw in many women. I think it'd be hasty to turn away from a guy just because he has a pic of his sailboat or car in his profile, right? Wouldn't it depend on what he said in his profile?

One poster on here asked where I kept seeing men calling women gold diggers. Well, they may skirt around it by saying "women are only after money", but they are still saying it.

Yeah, there are bitter, jaded guys out there who think most women are just after money. For some low-income guys that's partially true, as most women want men who are more financially settled, but aren't necessarily gold-diggers at all. And also, knowing that standard Janes will gravitate toward the guy with some bling vs guy without any, all other things being equal. But the same can be said for attractiveness on both sides of the gender coin, too. Just bitterness.

However, I will say this: I saw one post about a poster saying he hasn't seen guys calling women-gold-diggers -just because- she LETS him pay for dinner or coffee. That part I agree with -- I've never seen a post say or imply that, although I'm sure one could dig one up by a crackpot somewhere if one researched the threads long enough.
 MakeYouSmile26
Joined: 10/6/2009
Msg: 212
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/11/2010 11:43:54 AM
What the hell? Why cant people be evaluated as a package? If your attracted to someone for thier looks your shallow, if you attracted by the finanicial prolisness your a gold digger, if your attracted by their humor/personalty your board and need to be entertained. Maybe this is just the cold hard engineer in me but I personaly just rate people and who ever get the highest score wins

looks (1-30)
money (1-20)
humor (1-10)
intillectual (1-10)
chemistry (1-10)
honesty/trust (1-30)
-------------------------
 ironman333
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 221
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/21/2010 7:29:26 AM
I don’t understand whats with all the expectations?! When both people get together there should be no expectations what so ever. If two people go to dinner or movie woman or man should not sit back and expect anything to be given to them. You are there to get to know each other and not to get something for free. If a guy offers to pay then great but if not then pay for your own meal like a grown person you are.

Instead pay attention more to things like, did he open a door for you, did he tell you nice things, was he on time, was he polite. That’s the things to look for in a partner. Money part should only come in when two people live together and that’s when two people should talk about who pays for what 50/50. Until then both people are grown ups and both should be able to pay for themselves and not get offended just because you did not get free meal. There are tons of other qualities to look for besides who paid for what.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 228
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/22/2010 12:49:11 PM

There is a whole lot of people out there that use the whole "I'm a victim" mentality to justify what they do, and to some extent convincing yourself that it was all their fault because they are a gold-digger is playing the victim.

Yeah, there are people who will say a woman's a gold-digger when it comes to things falling apart. They'll call her a cheater when she's not really, a liar when she's not really, a b!tch when she's not really... and yes, gold-digger when she's not really.

But the terminology isn't about failed relationships. Or necessarily a girl not interested when approaching her. That's a whole different subject which "gold digger" is just one term among just about anything negative hastily used.

It's not about laying claim to "victim", it's about whether it's OKAY for a woman to be entitled to free food and drink if a guy and girl are going to give it a chance to interact on a potential dating level. I wouldn't say a woman desiring a guy to pay for a first date, or even "usually pay" or "pay for most of the bills on dates" is gold-digging, if it's not glamorous in it's way and it's more of a standard cultural norm in dates had, and not anything to financially ooh and ahh about.

But I think it's the entitlement that affects people. If a lady expects a guy to finance things for her, from dates to living expenses, from an entitlement point of view, OR out on the chase for someone who can do that specifically for her, she's a "gold-digger". Even if her needs aren't grand. It goes beyond a same-old-same-old courting process where the guy picks up 90%+ of the bill or 90%+ of the bills... it's about being taken care of like kid or pet.

I think guys can be weary of said women, so if they demand a guy to buy them a drink to arrogantly "give them a chance to talk with me", then he'll hastily call her one -- making an assumption that may be right, may be wrong (but it carries the same attitude as a classic 'gold digger').
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 233
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/29/2010 9:42:27 AM

Since most women can pay for their own way, why does the fact that he pays for her impress her?

Women who groan at the thought of a split bill on any date of any situation, would think these 3 things, with probably one of them being their own strongest focus:
- "it makes her feel special"
- "shows he can be a provider"
- "it shows he's not cheap"

Any azzhole can pay for a meal (well not any), but there are smaller actions which show what kind of a person he is.

Yeah, I think they know that too. I think a lot of women (AND men) don't really know WHY -- they just do it. It's culture. There's already expectations on a certain "safe mode" level in the world of engaging with the opposite sex. Nobody wants to rock the boat. I think when anyone sits down and thinks about it -- yes, it has nothing to do with whether he's an azzhole or not. That's just a front.

When you really look at the situation, in today's day and age -- yeah, it's silly that there is a set standard of "general rules", applying to everyone -- women who are poor to women who are rich, and the same for men.

I think a forum discussion is good, because it will make people think about the topic more. The more you think about it, the more odd it seems when it comes to a guy and a girl who are both in the working world, when it comes to "man always pays if it's a date-like setting, even if he didn't chase her or ask to treat her to dinner". IMO, there's nothing wrong with playing along with the oddities of culture, but taking a pit-stop in the forums to roll your eyes about it. :)
 Ron429
Joined: 2/26/2009
Msg: 236
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/29/2010 10:51:01 AM
Yeah, GoSunset has it correct. I recently almost married one until she was demanding a marquis cut, 2 carats, internallyflawless, and about 12-15K on local markets. My sisters reminded me that if she was truly in love with me she should have been happy with whatever a man was offering. (Her reason was that she did not want to be embarrassed by "stepping down" in front of her children). There were multiple other indications, such as telling me what to do with my real estate, IRA, etc. etc. Hey, I dodged a bullet, but you learn from such an experience with these ****es.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 237
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/29/2010 10:58:58 AM

So here's the question that needs answering the gold diggers.

if you gals want the man with money and such...how many of you ladies once your man gives you some money that you are digging for do the womanly things?

cooking for him, cleaning his house, washing his clothes and having sex with him whenever he wants it?

I mean if i'm gonna be paying for a gal to improve her quality of life, then I expect my money to give me a good return for my investment...



 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 250
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/30/2010 11:17:38 AM
Champagne,

The fact of the matter is 100 years ago a women didnt pay for a thing.

Because they didn't have any money that was 100% their own -- only from a daddy or guy they got hitched with.

Women were courted and loved and adored and waited on and respected....

Women couldn't vote, they were treated as baby-makers. Respected? Depends on the guy -- same as today. However, in another sense, they were less respected, but many/most didn't mind it because they were raised as that's how women should be. Waited on? Actually, they'd be waited on to finish cleaning the kitchen, but I digress...

Now adays men sleep with us before marrying us

Just the same as you sleep with men before marrying them.

expect us to pay for dinner

Nope, sorry. There is absolutely ZERO cultural push toward women paying for all the dates. Zero. Advice: don't let yourself be influenced by revisionist history.

expect sex well and truely before marriage

... and so do women, JUST as much. If you disagree, then you'd have to say a majority of non-married couples having sex is a guy raping the woman (date rape). A -majority- of ALL sex situations outside of any marriage. Do you really believe that?

I was born in tha wrong era.

I don't think you'd like it. If a woman's deemed attractive and in the right social class or worked her way up to the right social class, they would probably get a more of a "princess" treatment, I'll grant you that. However, if that is your dream/goal, that's really sad. You would basically be living off of a guy like a 13 year old lives off their parents. Women were seen (and still are in some sub-cultural circles) as pets or kids. If you're attractive and a great one, yeah, you'd be respected like a sugar daddy respects his gal. If not -- clean the floors. :)

You wouldn't have liked that era.
 Ender330
Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 255
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/1/2010 10:08:06 PM
Abraham Shakespeare, $31M Florida lottery winner, found dead 9 months after disappearing

The Plant City, Fla., backyard where Shakespeare was discovered is linked to a woman who claims the lottery winner gave her $1 million after they became friends.

Yea...I want to see the person who says their ain't no GOLD DIGGERS. I'm not saying she buried him in her yard.....um but...he was in a 5 foot grave, covered with a concrete slab!
Oh and she sent text messages and gifts to his family pretending to be him...saying that he was doing well.

Fuk her and Fuk Steve Harvey too!
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 260
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/2/2010 8:50:20 AM

The term gold digger was used way long before the book written.

You're right, of course. For example, it was the title of a Harry Beaumont movie way back in the silent film era (1923) which was based on a famous and popular comedic stage play.

So the term long pre-dates the concept of child support and beat-dead dads and who pays. IOW, Harvey is just plain wrong if he thinks the concept is something new.

Gold digging probably existed even before the first gold was ever dug up.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 265
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/3/2010 8:50:53 AM

No pretending and you need to get your head out of the 1950's. I assure you, lots of women with resources of their own can now afford to be primarily interested in whether a man is HOT or not.


Sure. The difference is, the vast majority of men aren't attracted to 'resources'. If you aren't physically attractive to us, no amount of money will make a difference. Face it, men don't get sexually excited by the fat ugly chick who owns her own company, so unless you have resources AND are physically 'hot', your pickings of men are going to be slim. A lot of women have worked very hard to become equals in the workplace, only to find that no one's attracted to her because she forgot what a guy is interested in, in the first place. Many of the single women in my workplace are way out of shape and have cut their hair quite short, don't pay attention to their appearance, and then wonder why men don't find them attractive, after all, they have a good steady job with a nice salary and a nice car. They've BECOME the men that they were trying to attract. Yes, it's nice if a woman at least tries to work at least part time, but men don't really care what a woman does for a living, while for women, what her mate does for a living and how much he makes reflects on her attractiveness as judged by her peers. Lots of men will gladly (and HAVE gladly) married the hot brainless babe wearing a string bikini that they meet by the pool. Few women will marry the pool boy, or be proud to take him to social functions and declare that they are engaged.
Men and women will continue to value different things in their mates. Yes, some traits will overlap. But not all.
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 270
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/4/2010 6:27:44 AM
^^^^ With "love" like that I think I'll take the money instead.

Money never calls ones masculinity into question or hits below the belt.
 CA_ExPat
Joined: 1/1/2010
Msg: 287
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/6/2010 4:43:44 PM
This species of woman has always existed in Florida and seems to be highly concentrated in the Miami Beach area. They can be found at expensive bars sizing up men by the cut of their clothes, the brand of his watch (they can id a Patek Phillipe, Audemars, or Vacheron at 30 feet) no steel Rolexes need apply. They know custom suits differ from Nordstrom's off the rack and quickly id custom shoes. Gentlemen, bring your spearguns, these babes are barracudas.

A tip off for POF profile readers is that she always wants the first meeting at the bar of an expensive restaurant so she can at least get a $150 to $300 meal even before you get to know her.

I confess, I don't have a problem with the first meeting at the bar of an expensive restaurant and have met some wonderful women. However, if after the third date she has shown no interest in you by offering to pick up a check, cooking dinner for you at her place, or otherwise shown some interest in YOU, regardless of how much in love you think you are, move on. You may, you have paid for and own the relationship 100% and may call off the game when you wish.
 veronica1964
Joined: 9/22/2009
Msg: 295
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/8/2010 6:07:12 AM
I completely agree with"goodwitchbeth". I'm happy to know there are other women like me, that are not ashamed to want a traditional relationship. You're both very lucky to have found each other. Hopefully I will too. Wish me luck.
 Praetorian55
Joined: 1/30/2010
Msg: 299
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/8/2010 12:54:40 PM
Ahhhhh no. Gold Digging women are a real thing. Anyone telling you otherwise is attempting to tell the "Emporer" that he has new clothes.

Female are still the only gender that marry for money without being castigated. Men know what the code words in bio mean.

"Financially Stable"
"Professional"

etc.

Every Range Rover in Seattle has some young yuppie chic in it. They didn't just fall into a relationship with a guy that had a spare Range Rover in the garage.

That being said I don't see anything wrong with being a Gold Digger so long as you aren't trying to piss on my leg and telling me it's raining.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 300
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/8/2010 1:04:10 PM

I prefer being with rich men. Its nice to be spoiled and pampered. To say it isnt would be a lie. Some women dont mind the lazy broke guys that never take them to dinner night out or do anything for them, so not all women are golddiggers.

Hey, at least you're honest... and all the man-haters take a look at that.

But to retort, just because a guy's not rich doesn't mean he's a lazy & broke. And aiming to be with rich (or wealthy, relatively speaking to her) men in order to be spoiled & pampered (like a kid/cartoon-princess/chuwawa), is pretty much the definition of a gold-digger.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 301
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/8/2010 1:16:30 PM

Every Range Rover in Seattle has some young yuppie chic in it. They didn't just fall into a relationship with a guy that had a spare Range Rover in the garage.

Maybe she has a very good career and bought it for herself?
Maybe driving it is part of her job duties( nannies, Ranger Rover saleswoman or support staff?)
However, there certainly are still 'gold diggers' out there, and they aren't necessarily all female.
Personally, I think everyone should marry for love,first and foremost. But there is nothing wrong with either gender having parameters to avoid winding up with a financial parasite. While they tend to be considered more as moochers and parasites, there ARE males who marry based on the woman's financial position as well.
Cindy O
 Mmmm.Tony
Joined: 1/13/2010
Msg: 305
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/13/2010 3:37:30 PM
Dutch is fine. The days of opening doors for women and what not seem to be over. Even though some men are chivalrous, it only goes so far and get abused and taken for granted. Not that that means one should compromise their integrity. But women use men a lot to get gain. Not all, but it's more the norm than raising kids. Men who don't put out the cash on dates are called names as if the names will bring them to reason or convince them to be otherwise. When it's just taunting to get the man to not want to hear the taunt anymore and acquiesce. I always go dutch. There are rare exceptions when I find out if the individual is worth it or not. But most women get off on a free ride, dressing like they are ready for bed and coming out in to the street to make spineless guys desire them and do anything to follow through on the mating instinct to have a desirable woman in their arms intimately so these guys will try to buy those woman's affections by spending gobs of money on them. It's why alot of women get boob jobs, and face lifts etc, to be attractive enough to have men splurge on them, but they are never satisfied.
 hamildo
Joined: 12/27/2008
Msg: 306
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/13/2010 4:12:48 PM
The true golddigger shows up at the divorce hearing.
 Randominternetguy
Joined: 12/25/2006
Msg: 308
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/13/2010 8:12:05 PM
Maybe the whole Dutch Treat/Man Pays thing should be an attribute on our profiles.

I think
- all the people who think men should pay get on one side of the room.
- all the people who think it should be dutch get on the other side of the room.

You can make derogatory remarks about the people on the other side of the room,
but stop expecting others to do it your way. And stop fraternizing with the enemy!
 EGJV
Joined: 9/13/2008
Msg: 314
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 2/24/2010 8:17:02 PM

Most men wanted us women to become "independant" way back in the 90's and now that we are, they don't really like it much as we are not like the women they grew up with - we've had to become harder and less feminine due to all these changes - but it's ALL OUR FAULT right? Think about how this has made men change over the years too? I'm sure they are not crazy about all these changes either.

Do men ever stop and think about how that was for us women? Some of us just went along with the flow and now we are being bashed by men for something we didn't necessarily create. Give it up already.


Ever heard of feminism? This process was in place WAY before the 90's. Why did men come to support it? Less money spent, easier ****.

But it was WOMEN who wanted to "be" men. And yes, there are men like me who do not like certain changes (masculinization, making a big ****ing deal of opening the door for me instead of me for her, etc) but that doesn't mean we're responsible.
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