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 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 121
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to Page 5 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

Got no money 'cause she's busy playing Mommy? Fine, child care it is and a boot to her ass back to the workforce.

Wait--is she busy "playing" mommy with your child (is it a game?)?
If it's not your child, I agree with you.
If it IS your child, well, you know what you are.

What's funny to me is when men say they've got all this pressure from work, and "all she has to do is raise the kid".
Worst case scenario if the guy screws up at work? He gets fired.
Worst-case scenario if a mom screws up that work? Her child dies.
Which is more pressure, again?
 wild heart
Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 123
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/8/2010 3:26:00 PM
I don't believe that all men are using this term for that reason. Since I've met men who have been screwed over by women, I know the term fits some women.

But yeah, there are alot of men on here who lump all women as gold diggers.

The woman who has always had things paid for her from birth (by daddy and then followed up by boyfriends) may not think that this is incorrect or wrong, since THE MEN have been the ones treating her this way.

She's not change in an instant. Kinda like those men who always go after "needy" women. My brother is one. He hasn't changed and most men used to call him "p*ssywhipped"; that is until they met their future wives and now are all apparently p*ssywhipped too.

Does it really matter? People are gonna do and think what they are gonna think. You can present ideas on here, but if the person is not open to change and different ideas easily then it's almost a moot point.

At this point, there is nothing new on these forums for me to learn from men about what they expect from women in those "equality" areas. I just keep waiting for us to move on LOL.
 karma1160
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 126
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/8/2010 6:16:21 PM
People use each other for all kinds of reasons, most women nowadays step up to the plate and at least pay for their share.
This is an old reason not to be involved, trust people like they were trustworthy, if they prove to you that they cannot be trusted then you will know the score.
If you go around looking for all the defects in peoples personalities you will find them, people are fallible by design, how about taking a toll of the good things. What have you got to lose?
I have had people ask me for dates because they think I am loaded, because I am a widow but I do not let that stop me.
I will not let a few bad apples change my mind about the whole human race.
 ToughLuv1984
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 127
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/8/2010 6:38:51 PM
I think these guys are accusing women of what they themselves seek to do...

Take for example the dutch date...

Now if my meal costs only $7 and his costs $14... and we both throw in our debit cards.... to 'split' evenly... I am actually subsidizing HIS meal.

What a FOOKIN GOLDDIGGIN' MAN'HO... and he has the audacity to ask for sex too! I'm so indignant!
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 128
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/8/2010 6:51:43 PM
I personally think Gold Digger is simply, and only, used by men who can't seem to be wanted for themselves, who then tries buying a lady, and when that fails, too, calls her, and likely the rest of her sex: golddiggers, lol! The ways of the NICE GUY are many and varied, but they all lead back to having a truly rotten attitude about women. It's a circular firing squad, and a game they ain't nevah going to win. . . . But I suppose that for certain primates, flinging poo is satisfying, if not exactly productive. . . .

 Fleur_de_Lis
Joined: 3/7/2008
Msg: 130
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/8/2010 7:48:03 PM
What if you go Dutch and then get the runs???

I would feel better if someone else paid if I get the runs ~ otherwise I'll gladly pay

 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 131
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/8/2010 8:12:58 PM
I have read SteveHarvey book of Act Like a Lady And Think Like A Man,.Well ,I am not impressed. Men mentality are competitive, tough,combatant, conniving,vicious, if women will be thinking like a man ,then they can not bring out the gentle and loving side of the man. I have observed few women who fight their man,verbally or physically and they are the pitiful losers, while a child ,cat,dogs or any animal can get the love of a man . I think because they are not a threat to him..

In job or politics force, a woman should deal with a man as a person, she can manipulate and fight her way on top,in a charismatic way.

Talk about Gold-diggers, I don't think a man invented that term for the miners and women did not invented the term Gigolo. When a Gigolo meet a Gold-digger it is obviously a trade favor. " No Money No Honey." for there is no such thing as a free ride or free dinner.

If a man invited a lady for a drink,the man is responsible to buy her a drink,but if the man choose not to buy her a drink, then she buy herself a drink. this is just an ethical standard, she should not expect him to do what he doesn't want to do.

To stablish a rapport you have to be hospitable, if some people are not hospitable to me ,I will return the favor,of not being hospitable to them too.
Just my 2 cents
 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 132
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/8/2010 9:27:13 PM
I have to admit, my first response after reading some of the posts on this thread was to come in with guns blazing, and indignantly list all the ways in which I do not qualify as a successful golddigger.

But, upon reflection, I realized that I don't know anyone who's posted on this subject, and as such their opinions don't amount to a hill of beans in the grand scheme of my life. *I* know how I live my life and I know that at the end of the day the only opinions that matter are mine and those I share my life with.

In the mating game, men and women often rely on their perceived strengths to attract a mate:
Men will often (not always, of course) use money, power, and the offer of protection to attract a suitable mate.
Women will often (see disclaimer above) use sex, nurturing and the promise of support to attract a suitable mate.

It's a dance as old as time..though there have been significant changes over the years. To survive these days most couples need to be a two-income family. Women are providing more and more to the family income, as well as often continuing on with their "traditional" duties.


To be honest, and this may come as a surprise, I sometimes wish I had been born in an earlier time..because nowadays it really kinda sucks to be a woman, at least for me. I have to shoulder the responsibilities of a man, and also those of a woman. And dammit, I'm tired!! And before you guys scoff and start spouting off all the responsibilities you have, in my HOME I am both man and woman. I do everything. Because if I don't, it won't get done.

Like it says in my profile, I am independent, but I relish being able to depend on someone. And not for what's in their wallets.


 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 133
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/8/2010 10:27:03 PM
Who is this Steve Harvey, and why are you reading a book on how to date?

Have a personality

be interesting

be someone you would want to date.


It's not rocket science.



 Sunsation1
Joined: 7/8/2009
Msg: 134
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/8/2010 10:46:48 PM
I usually pay for my dates..and don't consider a woman a gold digger unless on the first date she is wanting me to go shopping with her and buy her all the clothes and things she wants..Men that opt out of their responsiblities are usually soon found out just as gold digging women are, but either way, if you get an offer to good to be true, it probably is!! hahahaaha
 startle
Joined: 7/22/2008
Msg: 136
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/8/2010 11:25:12 PM
it really is just a matter of who is going to give in first...in this world only the strong survive....male or female..doesn't really matter...logic doesn't always come into play...just who can tough it out....you can be soft if you want to... don't expect a reward....play fair....no...look out for yourself...
 startle
Joined: 7/22/2008
Msg: 137
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/8/2010 11:38:00 PM
hold out, ladies....cheapskates are everywhere...
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 138
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/9/2010 8:20:00 AM
msg141:
You are right, A person doesn't need to read a book on how to do a social engagement to the opposite sex, to know and befriend that person that will lead into romance.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 139
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/9/2010 9:21:47 AM
Women will often see (see disclaimer above) use sex,nurturing and the promise of support to attract a suitable mate.


Right , and I want to add more on attracting a suitable mate is to be enterested on that person in unselfish/love/kindness behavior, to each other,not one sided.
It has nothing to do with monetary who pay this or who pay that ...

This is just me, I don't depend on a man, to do things for me because I can afford to pay a handy man /mechanic /ect.etc. And his sole rule on me is a lover/mate and I am enterested on *what's in his wallet ( and in his mind) ?* That he is capable to support his self and not a "sponge" . I carry the weight of my backpack ( my responsibility to myself) and I expect him the same, walk on this journey of life to share responsibilies to each other.Sort of Give And Take..

I NEVER met a man who begrudge the meal or drinks they treat me ,I can afford to treat them back too for drinks and meals. .my 2 cents
 ghostdog1973
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 140
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/9/2010 9:44:16 AM
re: Golddiggers...

Not every 'gold-digger' is out looking for guys that make $500K/year...

some just are fine with getting a guy to pay for their water bill or every little utility/incidental that comes along.

some are fine with marrying a guy that makes a solid living just so they can have a solid living and improve their own quality of life.

as for the idea of a guy paying on a date...When I'm doing the asking, I'm doing the paying. Its that simple for me. I am actually offended when I ask a girl out and she offers to pay for her meal...Have some humility for crying out loud!!!!

Of course I typically will not make a first date cost me tons of money...less than $100...usually less than $50...



I hate drink whores...
 farscapeprincess
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 141
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/9/2010 10:28:19 AM
goodwitchbeth, it sounds like you have a great guy. Hang on to him.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 142
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/9/2010 1:51:57 PM

Think Like A Man where he said on pages 26-28 something to the effect that men have created a certain mindset among women that if she expects him to pay for her drink, then she is automatically a golddigger, that women should expect a real man to do that, that because there are so many men out there who walked out on their families leaving women supporting their kids alone now women take pride in paying for things men should be "man enough" to pay for.

There's actually a huge flaw in his logic there, though. You can't say guys have to pay for drinks because other guys walk out on their kids. You can't pass a responsibility onto someone, even if they are man enough to handle it, just because other men with other women did this-and-that. That's really immature logic.

I wouldn't say a woman's a golddigger if she expects a guy to pay for *A* drink. But let's be honest here... it's not about A drink, it's about the bar tab. And the dinner tab. Such situations should be a treat, not a requirement. If a lady expects ALL of that as a requirement by default, she is at least a "bronze-digger", if not a silver-digger or gold-digger (yeah, I just came up with that).

But there are situations where a woman SHOULD "expect" a guy to virtually all tabs, etc. It's when the financially stable & fine guy knowingly is taking out a lady who's just getting by in life and has very little money.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 143
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/9/2010 2:21:47 PM
But there are situations where a woman SHOULD "expect' a guy to virtually all tabs,etc. It's when the financially a stable & fine guy knowingly is taking out a lady who's just getting by in life and* has very little money*.


And the said (No Pride) woman knows the answers~~~ of what's the CATCH ??? on that generosity of that stable and fine guy. There are alot of men in that category,they buy the company of a woman + to appease their sexual hunger through good times like posh restaurant ,ect.. And when they got tired of these women they are thrown like a used rugs...

 ToughLuv1984
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 144
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/9/2010 2:27:19 PM
Confident-Realist, you of all people, being into all that PUA evolutionary biology crap should know that women are HARD WIRED to be picky about a guy... all about trying to get the most quality provider or at least his sperm... Chris Rock was right when he said a woman reaching into her purse to get her wallet 'dries up the pvssy' faster than anything else. Labeling this natural instinct as a 'gold digger' would be as unfair labeling a guy who likes hot women a 'pig.' So get off ya high horse and accept this is the way it is... Sure, you don't have to pay for a woman at dinner, but if you have any inclination towards having her see you again romantically and not 'friend zone you' you should be picking up that tab. This is not true of all women... but it is of *most* women, no matter what PC bullcrap they choose to say they believe in.

Where I really feel for guys is that they have multiple hurdles to jump through as women want it all... hot.... rich... good personality... men more or less are satisfied with 'hot.'
 Fleur_de_Lis
Joined: 3/7/2008
Msg: 146
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/9/2010 2:39:13 PM
Chris Rock was right when he said a woman reaching into her purse to get her wallet 'dries up the pvssy' faster than anything else.


omg! That's hilarious ~ Chris kills me


 GotAHubCapDiamondStarHalo
Joined: 10/25/2009
Msg: 147
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/9/2010 2:39:29 PM
Of course, you can make an argument that the term only serves its purpose when it keeps women in their place. Look at how highly charged the term is and how quickly women will jump on the defense to claim they are not "one of those." Instead of demonizing these women, perhaps one should examine the men who allow themselves to be “strong-armed” by gold diggers. Apparently, it’s much more fun to disparage women as mercenary predators.

Also, since Steve Harvey is black, you have to factor in the way in which "manhood" can be expressed. It is easy to guilt black men into opening their wallets to show they are not like absent men/fathers. When I lived next to U street in DC, I became aware of the phenomenon that the black girls expected their BFs to pay for nails, pedicures, hair, etc. as a regular expense of "dating."
 wild heart
Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 148
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/9/2010 2:44:32 PM
Instead of demonizing these women, perhaps one should examine the men who allow themselves to be “strong-armed” by gold diggers. Apparently, it’s much more fun to disparage women as mercenary predators.


That's what I keep saying. If they don't like these gold diggers, why do they keep chasing them? Ten to one, put a woman who is after money and a woman who is not side by side (without knowing which one is which), and the man will pick the one who is after money.

I might be wrong, but I think I'm more than 50% right on that one.


Nothing to do with the social crap that you raised to believe?


I personally think it is what you were raised to believe. Hence the reason I'm trying to get men who complain about women and their so-called entitlement to explain how they treat their daughters. Only one person has bitten this question and readily admited that he did go overboard. It's natural to do that to your children. This is why I don't see the point of any of these arguments because they are NEVER going to change.
 durandal26
Joined: 3/16/2008
Msg: 149
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/9/2010 2:45:08 PM

Confident-Realist, you of all people, being into all that PUA evolutionary biology crap should know that women are HARD WIRED to be picky about a guy... all about trying to get the most quality provider or at least his sperm... Chris Rock was right when he said a woman reaching into her purse to get her wallet 'dries up the pvssy' faster than anything else. Labeling this natural instinct as a 'gold digger' would be as unfair labeling a guy who likes hot women a 'pig.' So get off ya high horse and accept this is the way it is... Sure, you don't have to pay for a woman at dinner, but if you have any inclination towards having her see you again romantically and not 'friend zone you' you should be picking up that tab. This is not true of all women... but it is of *most* women, no matter what PC bullcrap they choose to say they believe in.


So you're saying it's acceptable for women to charge men money in order to have sex with them, since it's "natural."

Then it must also be acceptable for men to cheat on women since it's "natural."

And it's also acceptable for a woman to sleep with another guy, have his kid, and tell her husband the child is his since that's also "natural."
 Tarah0128
Joined: 2/25/2009
Msg: 151
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/9/2010 2:50:04 PM

Then it must also be acceptable for men to cheat on women since it's "natural."


Sounds about right ~ if a man wants to cheat on me I only hope that he's discrete and doesn't bring home any "gifts"
 wild heart
Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 152
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/9/2010 2:53:10 PM

Just as men are biologically hard-wired to look for the "hottest" (most nubile) woman. In American culture today, that means the man is a "pig." The woman looking for the guy with the most money (is Donald Trump REALLY attractive enough to marry the women he has, base entirely on his looks...or is it his personality?) is, today, lauded by our culture and the term "gold-digger" as antiquated, at the very least.


I long ago stopped calling men pigs because I started to understand male sexuality. Maybe if men did a little more research into why women seek out mates, they might stop with this shet too.

I've noticed that women rarely call men pigs anymore. Sure is nice when women change, but men remain the same in their ideas now ain't it?
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