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 wild heart
Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 183
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to Page 8 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
Next thing you know after about a year or so- she's left him...and he's got $80K in credit card debt...from all the partying...He gets mad cause "she was a gold digger"...


Yep, I already alluded to a similar story that my biological father went through. He readily admits it was all ego. Note that he was able to admit his part in it as well, and not just blame the woman. I didn't agree with what she did much, but as you have said, he let her and we are all guilty of this behaviour to a degree. Some of us take more responsibility for our own part in things than others do. I call that being mature and really knowing yourself.

The scenario is played out again and again with men and "hot chicks". Men repeatedly say they would not go for the woman who is a gold digger, but many often do. These women know how to play up to a man's ego, whereas us women who don't wish to play those games are often bypassed by men for the hot twit.

This behaviour is not a new concept either.

Teenwolf - some good responses in your last post!

As for men buying me drinks at a club? I don't mind if we are going together and know each other well, then we can take turns. But if it is a first date? I don't want him going to get my drinks, it's a safety issue. Drinks can sometimes cost more than a meal, so again I would use the same wanting to go dutch.
 ghostdog1973
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 184
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/10/2010 7:58:55 AM
Wildheart- what's the "safety issue" of his getting your drinks? The fact that he'd be will to buy too much alcohol so yall were drunk before you knew it?

I'm a guy that rarely RARELY buys drinks for girls at the bar. The way I look at it- there are tons of drink whores out there looking for me and everyone else to buy 'em a drink and then they run off either with someone else or home alone.

So my strategy is this: In this day and age as a woman- you've chosen to go out to the club/bar. Clearly you have enough money to buy yourself a drink. So if you're really interested in having a drink, you'll buy it yourself. OR you're there to get free drinks from guys...I'm not going in impress you with the fact that I bought you a drink. You can get 10 guys to buy you a drink every nigth at the club. .

If I find a girl that I am interested in, by all means I will have no problem going up and talking to her. If we have a connection/good convo...maybe we dance or whatever. When my drink is finished- I'll wave over at the bartender to fill my drink and will not offer to refill her drink (at first)...

If at that point she's interested she will order herself a drink (as opposed to giving me the cold shoulder and waiting for another chump to buy her a drink) and we'll continue the conversation. Once a girl gets past that point- it is clear she is interested in me almost all of the time. Next drink and the rest of the night, they are on me...

Followed up by her number.

This way I weed out all the fakes and game players not interested in me...

Then you'll never hear me complaining about 'gold diggers' cause i've weeded them out early...
 wild heart
Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 185
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/10/2010 8:08:07 AM
Ghostdog - If you don't know what the safety issue is (on a first date with a virtual stranger), then you should do some research.


Sure, you don't have to pay for a woman at dinner, but if you have any inclination towards having her see you again romantically and not 'friend zone you' you should be picking up that tab.


I went out with a guy on several dates, and we took turns paying. Yes, we did not end up together, but we didn't know that as we dated. Who's to say a man won't lavish a woman with money once they are dating? For example, women are always going on about how married men are "such a catch". Well, I'm guessing that as they fell more in love, they became more of a catch. I'm not just talking the money side here either.
 Tarah0128
Joined: 2/25/2009
Msg: 186
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/10/2010 8:10:11 AM

Best to just get the one on the corner. She'll tell you exactly how much she costs.


Exactly!!! That's my approach to guys who are only looking to get laid ~ go buy yourself some tail
 ghostdog1973
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 187
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/10/2010 8:13:43 AM

Ghostdog - If you don't know what the safety issue is (on a first date with a virtual stranger), then you should do some research.


ahhh I see- i forget there are some sickos out there...forgive me if "date drugs" are not on my mind as a consideration to use ever on a date...


i forget guys do this crap and those things do offend me that i may have to contend with that crap when I"m on a first date w/ a girl...
 MonieLove_LovesU
Joined: 6/19/2009
Msg: 188
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/10/2010 8:17:57 AM
Bravo! Bravo! Well said, you have hit all the points in your posting and I enjoyed reading every bit of it...thanks for sharing your great insight....

MonieLove...
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 189
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History
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/10/2010 8:20:50 AM
Best to just get the one on the corner. She'll tell you exactly how much she costs.


If you are talking about that corner near the Red Light, she'll you tell that it is costly for an easy POP.
But that other corner she'll tell you it will cost you ~ your emotional commitment and devotion that is priceless.....
 MonieLove_LovesU
Joined: 6/19/2009
Msg: 190
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/10/2010 8:24:08 AM
Bravo...Well spoken! I enjoyed every word of your posting...and you've established your point quite well....With that, it sounds as if you have a winning relationship, one that only most of us will dream of having...and spend a life time searching for...therefore I say to you....Hold on to your loved one...and when and if you do hit a few bumps in the road.... retreat back to this posting and remind yourself how good it was and how good it could be again...allow your own words to heal whatever ripples that come about...Anyway...Great post...Thank you for sharing your wonderful insight....

MonieLove...
 ghostdog1973
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 191
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/10/2010 8:24:15 AM

Bravo! Bravo! Well said, you have hit all the points in your posting and I enjoyed reading every bit of it...thanks for sharing your great insight....

MonieLove...


ummm who are you referring to?
 wild heart
Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 192
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/10/2010 10:28:49 AM
ahhh I see- i forget there are some sickos out there...forgive me if "date drugs" are not on my mind as a consideration to use ever on a date...
i forget guys do this crap and those things do offend me that i may have to contend with that crap when I"m on a first date w/ a girl...


If you have sisters, daughters etc., you should be aware of it. Most men just don't think or are unaware of today's reality for women's safety. I was taught by my mother to never leave my drink alone. That means I do not get up to go to the bathroom and leave a drink unattended (even if it's water) I take it with me.

Any man who takes a woman's taking precautions on a first date as offensive really doesn't get it and turns me completely OFF. That said, the safety precautions can be made to be subtle and not in someone's face. If one goes onto a police website, there is bound to be some sort of information about taking precautions as a woman. I'm sure the drink one is right up there, as well as not allowing a man to talk you to your car and ensuring you meet in a public place. To me this is NOT rocket science.

I was on a first date and the man said to me "I was going to suggest you coming over to dinner"; my response was "would you approve of your daughter going over to some strange man's house for a first date?" I'm sure you can guess what his response was.

This not only proves that some men don't think of all women on the same playing field, but also proves even more my point about how fathers think about their daughters, but then think all other women are "bad". Most everyone had a father who thought the same about his daughter. It's a fathers natural reaction to think his little girl is wonderful. I watch my brother with his daughter and I think it is really sweet. Now, I also believe that he may be teaching his daughter some entitlement in some ways, but I really don't believe men are going to treat their daughters for preparation for the way that some men talk about how women should be on here.

Understanding this human nature is key to understanding why some women turn out the way they do and why some men allow the treatment.

I had this conversation with my biological father and even he said that he had never suggested that type of first date with a woman. My father was quite the charmer in his day.

Anyhoo, sorry to be slightly off topic there, but I feel this is important. Men should also be careful as they could be victim to drug in drink and get robbed.
 ghostdog1973
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 193
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/10/2010 10:40:02 AM
the offense is not that the girls have to take precaution.

its that some real freaks out there have ruined it so a girl cannot trust a guy to not put something in her drink...

i understand she has to take care of herself...
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 194
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/10/2010 12:54:38 PM

should know that women are HARD WIRED to be picky about a guy

That's cultural. It's because they have more options (that part has a biological root). Guys come up to them, not the other way around. It's the options that makes ANYONE more picky. Take for instance a famous guy. He's more picky about a girl he's going to genuinely date, just as a decent looking gal is going to be more picky about a guy she's going to date. They both have more easy-attainable options. Regular dudes have to "battle" for a decent option, because regular dudes don't have girls flocking to them at a bar or social event -- they are the ones flocking for it.
The real biological root is men are the ones who are superior physically, hence more able to protect, hunt, gather, etc., while the woman tends to the young, etc., hence the man "bringing home the bacon" and being the provider of goods & services. That's no longer the case in modern civilization, although our genetic inclinations still keep the cultural roots alive in that direction that some 'traditionalists' will still defend.
My point was not *A* drink, it was all bar tabs, all dinner tabs at all times. That's cultural. If we were in a dog-eat-dog-world w/o any real civlization, yes, that would be something more fitting and natural in THAT environment. But we're not in that environment anymore. And women are not children or pets.

if you have any inclination towards having her see you again romantically and not 'friend zone you' you should be picking up that tab

My argument was that it's not a requirement, but a treat. And it's all about attitude. If a woman sees it as "I EXPECT a guy to pay. You always pay for all my sh!t buster if you want even a chance with me", and feels she has an -entitlement- lol -- bye bye -- she's dropped like a rock. :) It's about the attitude. If a guy asks to TAKE a lady out, of course he should pay -- it was because HE asked to TAKE her out.

There are alot of men in that category,they buy the company of a woman + to appease their sexual hunger through good times like posh restaurant ,ect

My example there was not about a rich guy and a regular lady. The focus was the woman can't afford much at all, and scrapes by paycheck to paycheck as it is, and the guy is doing just fine. Hence, if the guy and the girl are going to Olive Garden, it should be expected in that situation, when they both -know- their financial situations (or he assumes hers is not great), that he's paying for it. If a rich lady is taking out the pool boy who makes $8/hr part time, same thing, in that case, it's expected she's paying. In that case, it's about feasibility of even BEING ABLE to go out at ALL to a more expensive place when only one person is able to afford it knowingly, ya know? Not about financing one's life though -- just about particular situations.

Not every 'gold-digger' is out looking for guys that make $500K/year... some just are fine with getting a guy to pay for their water bill or every little utility/incidental that comes along.

That's just a replacement of bling-bling with household bills & general finances. The motive/world-viewpoint is exactly the same, it's "being taken care of", like a pet or child. But gold is too strong a word in that case, I say. A bronze or silver-digger, depending on the level of wants & needs.

If they don't like these gold diggers, why do they keep chasing them?

I think some mingle in a demographic where they run into too many, yes... but as far as the FORUMS are concerned, they aren't chasing the women like that, they're just arguing against them on here. :) That's what the forums are for, right?? ;)
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 195
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/10/2010 1:07:58 PM

but as far as the FORUMS are concerned, they aren't chasing the women like that, they're just arguing against them on here.

Actually, *many* of the guys on here argue that "women are golddiggers"--not just that golddiggers exist, but that normal, everyday women ARE golddiggers because they "allow" the man to pay for dinner, or, more infamously, coffee. Also, it is regularly implied that all women are prostituting themselves by allowing men to buy their coffee.

Not very many HUMAN BEINGS think a"golddigger" is a stellar person. I think the wealthy men who actually GET golddiggers treat their relationships as they do any other business transaction: they figure they're paying to have a beautiful woman on their arms. Isn't it funny (not) that there is not term for THOSE MEN? Only the women in this mutually-agreed-upon transaction are negatively termed. Ferrrry interestink.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 196
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/10/2010 1:13:33 PM
^^^^ I have thought the same thing, maybe we could call them the golddiggee, kind of like dumper/dumpee terms. We insult men if we offer to pay, we don't offer to pay and we are called a golddigger, some days we just can't win.
 wild heart
Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 197
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/10/2010 1:22:09 PM

A bronze or silver-digger, depending on the level of wants & needs.


Oh great, just what we need more derogatory terms.....

As for male/female names for this type of person - gold digger applies (I believe confidentrealist said this before). The only reason we think it belongs to females is because men have MADE it that way. Remember that stupid song?
 durandal26
Joined: 3/16/2008
Msg: 198
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/10/2010 2:28:53 PM


If you are talking about that corner near the Red Light, she'll you tell that it is costly for an easy POP.
But that other corner she'll tell you it will cost you ~ your emotional commitment and devotion that is priceless...


Yes, the emotional commitment is indeed priceless. Since you're not sure exactly how much you have to pay for it, and neither is she. The answer is: as much as she can get. And, if you don't want to pay? Then there will be no commitment.


Actually, *many* of the guys on here argue that "women are golddiggers"--not just that golddiggers exist, but that normal, everyday women ARE golddiggers because they "allow" the man to pay for dinner, or, more infamously, coffee. Also, it is regularly implied that all women are prostituting themselves by allowing men to buy their coffee.


Women who allow men to pay for their dinner are not necessarily gold diggers, though they can be under certain circumstances (she knows she has no interest in the man but allows him to keep paying because she likes the free stuff). Women who expect men to buy their coffee / dinner etc. and who will drop a man for not doing so are gold diggers .
 bluedragon59
Joined: 12/29/2009
Msg: 199
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/10/2010 4:45:33 PM
This goes for any derogatory name aimed at anyone...man or woman...it is merely a way to make the sayer feel better and the person they are talking about feel bad.


the term gold digger was invented by men to cop out on their financial responsibilty of supporting the woman they love.


This actually makes no sense...since when would a man who LOVED a woman call her names?

blued
 Toodlez
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 200
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/10/2010 7:17:45 PM
It depends on the situation. Optimally it would go unspoken that who ever is paying gets paid for next time, or whoever is "hosting" pays. For example, if I take her to my favorite restaurant, I pay, and next week when we go to see the sequel to her favorite movie, she pays.

I'm more likely to pay if the woman acts like she doesn't want me to. I had one date where she outright expected me to pay - I sucked it up and blew fifty bucks just to never call her again. Worst part was, it was a movie she wanted to see and dinner at a place catering to vegetarians, so it was devoid of protein and hot sauce, which is all I really want for any meal.
 Fleur_de_Lis
Joined: 3/7/2008
Msg: 201
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/11/2010 12:07:22 AM
So, *most* women are dinner whvres? You included?


Not me!!! I'm a breakfast ho!



 Morris Choco
Joined: 12/20/2009
Msg: 202
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/11/2010 12:24:13 AM

proves even more my point about how fathers think about their daughters, but then think all other women are "bad". Most everyone had a father who thought the same about his daughter. It's a fathers natural reaction to think his little girl is wonderful. I watch my brother with his daughter and I think it is really sweet. Now, I also believe that he may be teaching his daughter some entitlement in some ways, but I really don't believe men are going to treat their daughters for preparation for the way that some men talk about how women should be on here.

Understanding this human nature is key to understanding why some women turn out the way they do and why some men allow the treatment.
I agree 1000% with everything you said right here and you see it all the time. I always tell my friends that is one of the reasons alot of guys (and probably vice versa) have problems with girls cause for the most part your not going to treat your girl like their dad, brother, etc.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 203
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/11/2010 1:45:05 AM

A bronze or silver-digger, depending on the level of wants & needs.

Oh great, just what we need more derogatory terms.....

Actually, a financially distraught guy or girl expecting the opposite sex to pay for their bills in order to date is being derogatory, IMO. If someone sees it as an entitlement to be taken care of in life (different metals = different levels), then a label should be had that sounds as silly as their expectations, right? :)

The only reason we think it belongs to females is because men have MADE it that way.

Well a Sugar Daddy would have a Golddigger. And guys can be gold-diggers, but there are far few dudes looking for rich women (see pool boy example). However, I do think it's growing, with young guys going after cougars! :)
 wild heart
Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 204
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/11/2010 5:30:16 AM
^^^LOL - stop stop! Too many descriptors. I was not being serious.


I had one date where she outright expected me to pay - I sucked it up and blew fifty bucks just to never call her again.


WHY?!! You have no right to complain because you "sucked" it up. Why is it your responsibility to do this? Are you truly being honest with yourself? Were you out with her and thinking with your other head instead? Were you taught to never say no to women? Just some questions you may want to ask yourself.
 vikingpatrick
Joined: 4/27/2009
Msg: 205
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/11/2010 9:06:31 AM
So last year I was fishing here. Sent out a couple emails to Yakima. No response, read/deleted.
Months go by. Decided to test something for myself even though I knew the answer although I didnt want to believe it.

So I didn't change anything in my profile, but I did add a picture of me as a doctor, a picture of a sport car and sailboat.

That was a Friday morning.

In 2 hours I received 13 emails wanting to meet immediately. Two of them would be considered X rated. And 2 of them from ladies I emailed earlier but got the old read/deleted treatment. My dossier' is rather distinctive, so I can also add that the large majority of people don't read profiles.

I confessed on here and got reamed :-) I was told that of course if you look under a rock you wont like what you see.

Now I was a perfect husband and father for 26 years and when I got sick and couldnt work and had no money, my bible thumping wife threw me out for someone else. All women have a price.

I actually feel sorry for women because they cant give their word because they dont have one. They will always settle for something while looking for something better, it's in their DNA.

Of course there are men that can go extremely low, however a woman can go even lower.
 ghostdog1973
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 206
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/11/2010 9:18:11 AM
Viking- the question i have for ya..

How's this new profile pic working for ya?
 vikingpatrick
Joined: 4/27/2009
Msg: 207
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/11/2010 9:22:37 AM
Too early to tell :-)
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