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 durandal26
Joined: 3/16/2008
Msg: 201
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to Page 9 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)


If you are talking about that corner near the Red Light, she'll you tell that it is costly for an easy POP.
But that other corner she'll tell you it will cost you ~ your emotional commitment and devotion that is priceless...


Yes, the emotional commitment is indeed priceless. Since you're not sure exactly how much you have to pay for it, and neither is she. The answer is: as much as she can get. And, if you don't want to pay? Then there will be no commitment.


Actually, *many* of the guys on here argue that "women are golddiggers"--not just that golddiggers exist, but that normal, everyday women ARE golddiggers because they "allow" the man to pay for dinner, or, more infamously, coffee. Also, it is regularly implied that all women are prostituting themselves by allowing men to buy their coffee.


Women who allow men to pay for their dinner are not necessarily gold diggers, though they can be under certain circumstances (she knows she has no interest in the man but allows him to keep paying because she likes the free stuff). Women who expect men to buy their coffee / dinner etc. and who will drop a man for not doing so are gold diggers .
 bluedragon59
Joined: 12/29/2009
Msg: 202
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/10/2010 4:45:33 PM
This goes for any derogatory name aimed at anyone...man or woman...it is merely a way to make the sayer feel better and the person they are talking about feel bad.


the term gold digger was invented by men to cop out on their financial responsibilty of supporting the woman they love.


This actually makes no sense...since when would a man who LOVED a woman call her names?

blued
 Toodlez
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 203
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/10/2010 7:17:45 PM
It depends on the situation. Optimally it would go unspoken that who ever is paying gets paid for next time, or whoever is "hosting" pays. For example, if I take her to my favorite restaurant, I pay, and next week when we go to see the sequel to her favorite movie, she pays.

I'm more likely to pay if the woman acts like she doesn't want me to. I had one date where she outright expected me to pay - I sucked it up and blew fifty bucks just to never call her again. Worst part was, it was a movie she wanted to see and dinner at a place catering to vegetarians, so it was devoid of protein and hot sauce, which is all I really want for any meal.
 Fleur_de_Lis
Joined: 3/7/2008
Msg: 204
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/11/2010 12:07:22 AM
So, *most* women are dinner whvres? You included?


Not me!!! I'm a breakfast ho!



 Morris Choco
Joined: 12/20/2009
Msg: 205
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/11/2010 12:24:13 AM

proves even more my point about how fathers think about their daughters, but then think all other women are "bad". Most everyone had a father who thought the same about his daughter. It's a fathers natural reaction to think his little girl is wonderful. I watch my brother with his daughter and I think it is really sweet. Now, I also believe that he may be teaching his daughter some entitlement in some ways, but I really don't believe men are going to treat their daughters for preparation for the way that some men talk about how women should be on here.

Understanding this human nature is key to understanding why some women turn out the way they do and why some men allow the treatment.
I agree 1000% with everything you said right here and you see it all the time. I always tell my friends that is one of the reasons alot of guys (and probably vice versa) have problems with girls cause for the most part your not going to treat your girl like their dad, brother, etc.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 206
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/11/2010 1:45:05 AM

A bronze or silver-digger, depending on the level of wants & needs.

Oh great, just what we need more derogatory terms.....

Actually, a financially distraught guy or girl expecting the opposite sex to pay for their bills in order to date is being derogatory, IMO. If someone sees it as an entitlement to be taken care of in life (different metals = different levels), then a label should be had that sounds as silly as their expectations, right? :)

The only reason we think it belongs to females is because men have MADE it that way.

Well a Sugar Daddy would have a Golddigger. And guys can be gold-diggers, but there are far few dudes looking for rich women (see pool boy example). However, I do think it's growing, with young guys going after cougars! :)
 wild heart
Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 207
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/11/2010 5:30:16 AM
^^^LOL - stop stop! Too many descriptors. I was not being serious.


I had one date where she outright expected me to pay - I sucked it up and blew fifty bucks just to never call her again.


WHY?!! You have no right to complain because you "sucked" it up. Why is it your responsibility to do this? Are you truly being honest with yourself? Were you out with her and thinking with your other head instead? Were you taught to never say no to women? Just some questions you may want to ask yourself.
 vikingpatrick
Joined: 4/27/2009
Msg: 208
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/11/2010 9:06:31 AM
So last year I was fishing here. Sent out a couple emails to Yakima. No response, read/deleted.
Months go by. Decided to test something for myself even though I knew the answer although I didnt want to believe it.

So I didn't change anything in my profile, but I did add a picture of me as a doctor, a picture of a sport car and sailboat.

That was a Friday morning.

In 2 hours I received 13 emails wanting to meet immediately. Two of them would be considered X rated. And 2 of them from ladies I emailed earlier but got the old read/deleted treatment. My dossier' is rather distinctive, so I can also add that the large majority of people don't read profiles.

I confessed on here and got reamed :-) I was told that of course if you look under a rock you wont like what you see.

Now I was a perfect husband and father for 26 years and when I got sick and couldnt work and had no money, my bible thumping wife threw me out for someone else. All women have a price.

I actually feel sorry for women because they cant give their word because they dont have one. They will always settle for something while looking for something better, it's in their DNA.

Of course there are men that can go extremely low, however a woman can go even lower.
 ghostdog1973
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 209
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/11/2010 9:18:11 AM
Viking- the question i have for ya..

How's this new profile pic working for ya?
 vikingpatrick
Joined: 4/27/2009
Msg: 210
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/11/2010 9:22:37 AM
Too early to tell :-)
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 211
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/11/2010 9:58:45 AM

Now I was a perfect husband and father for 26 years and when I got sick and couldnt work and had no money, my bible thumping wife threw me out for someone else. All women have a price.

You were "perfect"? Wow. I'd like to get a second opinion on THAT, perhaps from your ex-wife.

It's not the money.
You are misassigning motives of females, based on YOUR value system.
 wild heart
Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 212
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/11/2010 10:00:43 AM
Viking - aren't those little tests fun? I've done my own on here - sex gets most men everytime......but men are not only after one thing right? At least that is what I try to see, but when I see posts about gold diggers, well it automatically makes me think about the men and sex equation.

Sorry to tell you this, but most men who think they are the perfect husband usually are not satisfying their wife in the bedroom department. So she is unsatisfied, so starts shopping to fill the void. I'm not saying this is the case, but I've seen it many times.


<div class="quote">So I didn't change anything in my profile, but I did add a picture of me as a doctor, a picture of a sport car and sailboat.

As I've said before, any man either bragging or whining about money loses my interest. A man telling me he wants to retire in Paris doesn't interest me, it kinda freaks me out because I'm not sure I can afford to do that. See how I automatically think about my $$ in that scenario. But I guess that matters little because the women that most men want or end up with are always the ones who are after money right? Any man showing off his money on his profile is a turn-off to me.

Most of you need to also realize that how we were raised and the type of men that were around us has alot to do with this whole issue.

I guess as someone who has never been married, never really had biological parents who spoiled her, I am very aware that no man is going to "save me" or "take care of me". My family has never been a rich family. When I say I want a man to take care of me, I want him to be there when I need him - which sadly most have not been for me as yet. I cannot seem to find a man that I am attracted to and who is attracted to me who is stronger than me emotionally.

One poster on here asked where I kept seeing men calling women gold diggers. Well, they may skirt around it by saying "women are only after money", but they are still saying it.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 213
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/11/2010 10:48:22 AM

I've done my own on here - sex gets most men everytime......but men are not only after one thing right? At least that is what I try to see, but when I see posts about gold diggers, well it automatically makes me think about the men and sex equation.

Well, it's not the ONLY thing they're going after. But if a guy comes across a profile of a woman who's showing some leg and bikini and saying they like sex, yeah -- that scores them mega-brownie points in many guys' eyes, obviously with sex-only guys regardless of how it's portrayed, and among more good catches if it's done in a tasteful way, too. Same goes for a guy with a boat & fancy car pics. Even normal ladies will be more likely to respond, and yes, gold-diggers will be drooling in that case. In either case, both are valuable commodities for most, right? :)

Any man showing off his money on his profile is a turn-off to me.

Well, depends what you mean by showing off, in terms of you being in line with the common populace. I can see how that would intimidate or even turn off some women, but a mere showing it w/o coming across as a braggart, will draw in many women. I think it'd be hasty to turn away from a guy just because he has a pic of his sailboat or car in his profile, right? Wouldn't it depend on what he said in his profile?

One poster on here asked where I kept seeing men calling women gold diggers. Well, they may skirt around it by saying "women are only after money", but they are still saying it.

Yeah, there are bitter, jaded guys out there who think most women are just after money. For some low-income guys that's partially true, as most women want men who are more financially settled, but aren't necessarily gold-diggers at all. And also, knowing that standard Janes will gravitate toward the guy with some bling vs guy without any, all other things being equal. But the same can be said for attractiveness on both sides of the gender coin, too. Just bitterness.

However, I will say this: I saw one post about a poster saying he hasn't seen guys calling women-gold-diggers -just because- she LETS him pay for dinner or coffee. That part I agree with -- I've never seen a post say or imply that, although I'm sure one could dig one up by a crackpot somewhere if one researched the threads long enough.
 vikingpatrick
Joined: 4/27/2009
Msg: 214
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/11/2010 11:17:24 AM
Ah Cassago and wild heart,

Now you both bring up the sex cut, but I didnt bleed.
You both proved my other point that all you think of is sex and how can you get money for it.....
And you never have beens are giving advice!

Maybe the sex was the only thing that kept me in her marriage?
It was, she told me, so as usual, you females are wrong, sorry, its just another thing you have no clue about.

I have a feeling you see your selves in my comments. As I say, if the cellulite fits, wear it!
 MakeYouSmile26
Joined: 10/6/2009
Msg: 215
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/11/2010 11:43:54 AM
What the hell? Why cant people be evaluated as a package? If your attracted to someone for thier looks your shallow, if you attracted by the finanicial prolisness your a gold digger, if your attracted by their humor/personalty your board and need to be entertained. Maybe this is just the cold hard engineer in me but I personaly just rate people and who ever get the highest score wins

looks (1-30)
money (1-20)
humor (1-10)
intillectual (1-10)
chemistry (1-10)
honesty/trust (1-30)
-------------------------
 wild heart
Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 216
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/11/2010 1:09:36 PM
Well, it's not the ONLY thing they're going after. But if a guy comes across a profile of a woman who's showing some leg and bikini and saying they like sex, yeah -- that scores them mega-brownie points in many guys' eyes, obviously with sex-only guys regardless of how it's portrayed, and among more good catches if it's done in a tasteful way, too. Same goes for a guy with a boat & fancy car pics. Even normal ladies will be more likely to respond, and yes, gold-diggers will be drooling in that case. In either case, both are valuable commodities for most, right? :)


I don't disagree with you at all and I have no problem with the fact that men go after sex more readily than women. I don't care about that anymore, I just let it slide. I only bring it up because it annoys men; just as threads about the ongoing mighty dollar annoy some of us women. Who wants a man who doesn't like sex? I sure don't LOL. Viking totally misunderstood my point obviously.

As for what he had on his profile, I dunno - the pics of a fancy car, boat etc really do kinda turn me away because I've met men who do have money and I really couldn't relate to them, so perhaps I'm just judging but hey at least I'm not gold digging right?! LOL. Perhaps it is the fact that he has to show these items in his profile comes across him possibly being a braggart and all about the toys type. But you are right, it would depend on several factors for me - age and what is in his profile.


And also, knowing that standard Janes will gravitate toward the guy with some bling vs guy without any, all other things being equal. But the same can be said for attractiveness on both sides of the gender coin, too.


And I don't have a problem with this. People are gonna date who they are gonna date. Complaining about it ain't gonna help, seeking answers will though.

Posts like yours are interesting and not bitter and they are the ones I enjoy reading because one could actually learn something about the opposite sex. But when a post is littered with negativity and bitterness, how can I be expected to WANT to learn or even listen? I guess that is one of the biggest points we are trying to get across.

As we struggle with the changing world and how it affects our male/female relationships, we should all understand that these changes are not easy.
 notatowniegirl
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 217
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/11/2010 8:46:22 PM
I've noticed something about men (of any income bracket) who complain about women taking advantage of them and using them for money. They very rarely have much else going for them. Why else would they dangle it out there as bait and then complain about what they caught? If they had more going for them than that, women wouldn't be noticing their wallets, would they?

It's just another attempt by insecure (and possibly inept) men to assign blame to women as a whole because what they have isn't working. If they stopped looking for the worst in women and constantly finding "evidence" in everything, things might work out differently.
 1honestfrenchman
Joined: 1/22/2007
Msg: 218
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/11/2010 9:16:48 PM
For most (NOT ALL) women, that's all you ever look for. It wouldn't matter to them if the guy was absolutely perfect for them they still couldn't see it because they're blinded by how much cash he potentially has or makes. IMO, I would like to meet a women that actually made more than I did just so that I would know she wasn't looking at how much I made. In the end, money is just paper and is shouldn't have anything to do with the attraction between them.
 ToughLuv1984
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 219
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/11/2010 10:36:10 PM
Frenchman.... consider this:

For most (NOT ALL) men, looks is all you ever look for. It wouldn't matter to them if the woman was absolutely perfect for them they still couldn't see it because they're blinded by how she looks in a bikini. In the end, looks fade, we all get old, and it shouldn't have anything to do with the attraction between them.

See... looks, money, status, fame, popularity, hair, no hair, green eyes, blue eyes...

Everyone is entitled to their preferences and it is really no one else's business what makes person A want to be with person B.
 breeze1978
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 220
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/17/2010 8:52:19 PM
Try Estabished men.com ,,,Rich Men .com there are all kinds of people out there lol.
 GGarbo
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 221
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/20/2010 5:41:17 PM
I'd agree with it.

I'm rubber, you are glue, what bounces off me, sticks to you.

People tend to criticize what they fear in themselves. So if someone is fearing a gold digger, they are really fearing themselves because if they were not one, it wouldn't enter their mind so easily.

I've had lots of guys who ended up relying on me more than I relied on them. I'm responsible and giving. Even after that, it still doesn't occur to me this is how people naturally act because its not how I naturally act.

...so I don't run around calling men gold diggers. I just say, finding an independent functional man without a giant chip on his shoulder caused by his own actions...isn't easy.
 Fishingexperiment
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 222
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/20/2010 11:24:52 PM
I'm old school. I grew up and dated in a time when men paid for everything on a date, and a woman would respond by providing a home cooked meal (not sex). To date, I have never gone Dutch with a man (although I've hardly dated in the past 35 years). I would NEVER pay on a date with a man. If he is asking me out, then he pays. I definitely cannot afford to pay and wouldn't open myself to that debt. I'd rather not go out.

Having said that, I have paid all my own expenses my entire life, plus brought up a wonderful daughter single handedly on my own without any financial help from anybody.

World wide single parents (divorced, etc) have the least financial resources. And world wide, single men have the most financial resources. I guess they can afford to date. I cannot.
 Eldrida
Joined: 11/13/2009
Msg: 223
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/21/2010 1:17:54 AM
Here's a pickle- thought I wouldn't bother starting a new thread for this one.

Australia Day is on Tuesday and I've got a date. Only problem is, I'm broke. Really broke. If I go on this date I might end up eating toast for a solid week...

How exactly do I get out of this one? I always pay for myself on dates. I would never assume a man is going to pay for me, I don't think he should have to, and don't want to tell him I can't afford to go out because it sounds like "pay for me, hint, hint, nudge, nudge!"
 ironman333
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 224
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Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/21/2010 7:29:26 AM
I don’t understand whats with all the expectations?! When both people get together there should be no expectations what so ever. If two people go to dinner or movie woman or man should not sit back and expect anything to be given to them. You are there to get to know each other and not to get something for free. If a guy offers to pay then great but if not then pay for your own meal like a grown person you are.

Instead pay attention more to things like, did he open a door for you, did he tell you nice things, was he on time, was he polite. That’s the things to look for in a partner. Money part should only come in when two people live together and that’s when two people should talk about who pays for what 50/50. Until then both people are grown ups and both should be able to pay for themselves and not get offended just because you did not get free meal. There are tons of other qualities to look for besides who paid for what.
 2ears1mouth
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 225
Gold-digger is just a term men invented to
Posted: 1/21/2010 8:03:34 AM
Remember that where people stand usually depends upon where they sit. I would suspect the guy is so rich he could use $100 bills to wipe his ass, and just wants to eliminate some of the competition.

Some women who have liked me enough have insisted on paying their tab, buying a drink for me every now and again, etc., even though they made less money than me. Probably because they didn't want to feel "bought" (i.e., a ho). And there have been others who were rather feminist, but didn't mind me picking up the tab because they made a lot less money than I. Everybody and every situation is different.

I just do what feels right to me for the situation.
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