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 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 164
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Narcissitic Personality Disorder or PsychopathPage 9 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
cfb62

Some women are drawn to the bad boy like a moth to a flame. Especially if he is perceived as very attractive.
Karma will have time to reflect on why she bought into that drama and she wont be seeing him again, is what I gathered. It was an on and off thing and it tantalised her. Two weeks together and it was all over.....

Having two young children involved in all this is what would concern me. What would they have thought of a guy of 26 coming into their house to be with their mother of 45??
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 165
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 9/7/2015 7:20:56 PM

So now that you have determined he has a mental issue of some sort and have diagnosed this as such; what about you. What did you learn? And I don't mean what did you learn about NPD but what did you learn about yourself? And don't say "I learned not to trust men". You had a part in this.


I have learned that I was raised by a mother who also has NPD - I had a fallout with her a month after I dumped the narc guy. I'm attract narcs and am attracted to them because that's what I'm used to , that's how I was raised - the silent treatment, the emotional rollercoaster was "normal" for me growing up. That was the biggest eye-opener for me.


Having two young children involved in all this is what would concern me. What would they have thought of a guy of 26 coming into their house to be with their mother of 45??


My kids never saw him, they were in Germany visiting family while he was here. Plus, not everybody is so hung up on age like you, btw.

Sunny, the thing is, I have no doubt he was going to discard me eventually after returning to Germany, but I beat him to the punch and probably shocked him when I ended it FIRST and then told his GF. Things were still "fine" in his mind, he even stayed in touch after he left and was back in GErmany. He messaged me and thanked me for everything, and we were on good terms. A few days later is when I found out about the GF, told him to **** off and exposed him to his GF. That's when he started raging - he cussed me out and threatened me. He said "you will get yours tho I'll promise you that you ****ing crazy ****". When I told him that I would show his threatening messages to his commander is when he cooled off and became "nice" again, asking me why I was so angry, but still denying that he ever stayed at my house, that crazy psycho.
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 166
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Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 9/9/2015 6:16:03 PM
^^^^^
It is called Co-dependency I think
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 167
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 9/18/2015 1:56:13 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4knwSh7NlY

Tips on how to prevent dating another narcissist.
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 168
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 9/18/2015 2:07:00 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIIbwMVwSPA
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 169
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 9/20/2015 12:55:46 PM

Oftentimes a Narcissist takes their victims to the highest of highs, only to drop them to the lowest of lows. The first time I had this happen to me, I remember thinking that all of the secrets and lies, besides being malicious and hurtful, were just so…unnecessary. After all, at first I didn’t want to be in a serious relationship. I was fresh out of a divorce and needed time to breathe. I even encouraged him to date other people, but he wouldn’t have it. He only wanted to be with me. …Or so he said.

A Narcissist’s lack of regard, lack of remorse, and lack of empathy is absolutely jaw dropping.

Of all the emails I get, the one I get most frequently has to do with people trying to understand how another human being can go from being so loving to so hateful, demeaning, destructive, and humiliating all at seemingly the flick of a switch. It’s hard to wrap your brain around that one–I totally get it–I was there once too. There are so many different levels of destruction, that until a person goes through it they’ll never really understand it.


http://narcissistsupport.com/narcissistic-behavior-2/

This has been my experience as well. A regular "player" does not act like this, they just want to "hit it and quit it", but a narc wants to get his target all wrapped up in him, devoted to him, only to devalue and cruelly discard them.
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 170
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Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 9/20/2015 1:54:51 PM

She can't understand for the life of her why he did this.


You say something 'goofy' one time wanting to get away with minimal tears/guilt and then you are trapped in it.
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 171
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Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 9/20/2015 2:00:56 PM

Also, I did make the wise choice and ended it with him - three times!


Your message requirements have an upper limit of 'Younger than 50' and no lower limit at all. You list your age at 45.

Your answers are within yourself.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 172
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 9/20/2015 9:00:59 PM
NPD traits are unfortunately real. The lack of empathy, only being nice/flattering when they want something, lying and ignoring, etc. are real. I wouldn't go as far as diagnose someone the way an MD would, but sometimes a person fits the description and when you listen/read more about it, things start to make sense. A very helpful article on narcissism is here:

http://www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/traits.html#contempt

I have gone through a situation with someone who unfortunately fit the description of an "Indifferent Narcissist" described in the video below:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7Kqen_djaY

Again, I can't diagnose anybody and I certainly don't know the person enough to be able to say anything about their history or character. I don't know anything about their past traumas etc. But when their behavior is described to the t and at the end you're advised to run for your life, I guess I did the right thing that I did run. It was such a crazy and hurtful experience. A quote from the article I just linked: "A clue: Run for cover when they start acting normal, maybe expressing a becoming self-doubt or even acknowledging some little fault of their own, such as saying they now realize that they haven't treated you right or that they took advantage of you before. They're just softening you up for something really nasty."

How crazy does that sound? But it's true. :-(
 ClooneysMentor
Joined: 8/2/2015
Msg: 173
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 9/20/2015 9:04:03 PM
Any men out there that have met a female narcissist?

Hello???

Crickets...
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 174
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 9/20/2015 9:09:16 PM
Plenty. :-(

People tell astounding stories of their "narc" mothers, for example. Other people tell of wives, ex-wives, etc, therapists speak of male clients who suffer from narcs.

I just watched a 45-minute long video by this lady who got really emotional recalling how she got beaten with a shoe and called a bitch by her mother on her middle school graduation day... sad stuff.

Perhaps we can just call it a nasty hateful person... but there are many different kinds of nasty? Labels help us sort it all out, I suppose.
 Whatsamatterbaby
Joined: 5/6/2015
Msg: 175
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 9/20/2015 9:27:28 PM

Crickets...


Try to articulate!
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 176
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 9/20/2015 10:13:19 PM
Your message requirements have an upper limit of 'Younger than 50' and no lower limit at all. You list your age at 45.

Coming from someone who is 66 and is looking for as young as 30 - hypocrite much? BTW, age has nothing to do with NPD - old men have it too, and yes, I've met a few with those traits as well, they were older than me, but thankfully didn't get involved with them as long and as deeply as with this last one. I'm not attracted to much older guys - personal preference and again, has NOTHING to do with this topic.
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 177
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Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 9/20/2015 10:36:40 PM

Coming from someone who is 66 and is looking for as young as 30 - hypocrite much?


I don't know where the 30 comes from. I have no message restrictions in my messaging because a man doesn't need them. My profile is currently inactive as I have pretty much given up. Within my profile my search parameters are 58 to 68. You do bring up a good point; I need to stop hanging around here.

Personally I think age has a LOT to do with this topic. Looking for much younger is just asking to be used.

YMMV
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 178
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 9/20/2015 10:40:56 PM
Seki, please don't leave. I enjoy your posts. They are intelligent and witty and unfortunately very few.
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 179
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Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 9/20/2015 10:45:02 PM
I stand corrected. I just checked my mail settings and it does say 'Older than 30'. I corrected that to 'Older than 45' to correspond to the 'Over 45' forum. Doesn't mean that I'm trolling for 46 year old hotties.
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 180
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 9/20/2015 10:50:14 PM
You just changed it from 30 to 44 - a few minutes ago it said older than 30, but whatever.

And no, age has NOTHING to do with it. I have dated much younger men who certainly did not act like this one - they were upfront and honest about what they did and didn't want, and I have no problem with this. One of them is what is commonly referred to as "friends with benefits" and I've known him for over two years. He treats me with respect and honesty, takes me out and pays for dates, talks to me about everything under the sun, has introduced me to his best friend, has told his family about me, etc. He is 28 and not looking for any type of committed relationship, and I've always been fine with that. I would have been more than happy to have the same type of arrangement with the narc guy, whom I met before my FWB, but he acted (very very convincingly) as if he wanted much more, told me he loved me, send me love poems, love-bombed me like crazy, was jealous when I was even talking to other guys, etc. He was a master manipulator, liar, led a double life and was not at all honest - everything about him was a lie. Heck, he even lies when there is no reason to lie. For instance, he told his current GF that he knows me because my son is 22 and in the military - which is a crazy lie, because my son is 15 and certainly NOT in the military. Who the hell lies about shit like that? Answer - people with a disorder, not limited by age at all.

BTW, his current GF is 22, younger than him, and he is using her the same way he was using me - lying and manipulating her. She comes from a well-off family and I strongly assume he is trying to leech off of her.
 MillaKitten92
Joined: 9/23/2015
Msg: 181
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 10/14/2015 7:27:40 AM
Have you ever just considered he may be selfish, it doesn't necessarily mean psychopathology...
Plus what is the point of slapping a name on what you think you are seeing in his behaviour? The idea of diagnosing psychopathology is to assist in treatment and provide answers and help for people and clarity, not to kind of
slap a label on them just so you can say there IS something wrong with them just so you can feel better about yourself. You know what I mean?
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 182
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 10/14/2015 9:46:46 PM
Milla - if you knew him and experienced him like I did, selfish or immature are not the right words to describe him. Everything I've read about narcissism fits him 100%. I'm also a member of a narcissism support forum and when I read the stories of other people on there, I'm always amazed that their narcs all sound exactly like him. Following the same script over and over and over again. I can tell the difference between selfish and disordered, and he is not just selfish. He is whack. I've discovered too much about him, talked to his current and ex GF, and he pulls the exact same stunt on all of them. Normal people don't act like this and lie to this extend.
 crookcatcher
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 183
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 10/15/2015 2:21:41 AM

I've discovered too much about him, talked to his current and ex GF, and he pulls the exact same stunt on all of them.


Why would you do that? What's the point if you're not involved with him anymore?
 overunity
Joined: 8/16/2014
Msg: 184
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Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 10/15/2015 6:04:50 AM
Examples of "psychopathic love bombing" that turn to "gaslighting" are available right here in the forums, unfortunately on a daily basis. But sometimes the victims do turn the tables and smarten up, causing the perpetrator much confusion.
 Paladin2015
Joined: 5/29/2015
Msg: 185
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 10/18/2015 6:19:50 AM

Why would you do that? What's the point if you're not involved with him anymore?


To help cement the closure.

In my case the little bird in her circle only confirms the fact she is no longer someone I could stand to be with anymore.

My ex is on BF #4......one of them was a 55 yr old crackhead...shes done stuff So out of charactor I wouldnt have believed it if I hadnt seen the pictures she stashed........way to aim high babe....Porn?

Dont get me wrong....it still gets me sometimes...and I get weak and I miss her....I just have to remember all the flaky insane crap she pulled....and I'm ok...I miss who she used to be....my wife doesnt exist anymore.

The series of relelevnt events....

She lost 130lbs and became a stunning MILF...she was always pretty but she became a knock out.........her mom died of cancer and she had treated her mother horribly for the last few years....her doctor put her on adderal....

I traced the personality switch back to when her doc put her on adderal after her mother died.....there was one personality with me....and this other wild slut creature out wandering bars any chance she got....booze and adderal equals risktaking behaviour, extreme feeling of isolation, and feelings of disaffection, as a side effects...she became an excellent lair and became obssesive with her phone and facebook.....ding....two months later she's off to the races with an ex boyfriend and making drug runs to detriot with her BF in the new car I just bought her......seriously?....i should write a book.......I was so busy with work and out of town alot and I never saw it....

But once she split I was able to go back through the finances, reciepts and her FB history , how often my daughter was at an aunts or a friends and neither she or I could get ahold of mom.....and she always blamed her phone being dead, or didnt hear it ring, or it was in the car charging etc......everything was right there almost like she wanted to get caught....it's just never occured to me she would cheat....why would I dig through her stuff?..I was getting more sex than when we were newlyweds...

Anyway I tried to get her doctor to get her into some treatment...she simply refused and that was the end of the matter.....she is still on adderal and drinking to this day....

What really floors me is how many of her family simply accepts this new behavior as normal while everyone treats me like the one who cheated....oh well....

Part of me feels badly that I didnt push harder for counciling when her mom died....question the adderal harder.....or even bother to have looked up the side effects or even simply snooped on her FB page....nothing I can do about it now....
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 10/14/2015
Msg: 186
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 10/18/2015 11:43:25 AM


I've discovered too much about him, talked to his current and ex GF, and he pulls the exact same stunt on all of them.


I guess if someone contacts my exes, I'll get good references, except for the 1st one.

Please don't contact her...
 crookcatcher
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 187
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 10/18/2015 9:12:48 PM

To help cement the closure.


You go to their current bf/gf to cement the closure? I'm think not. :/
 Chasesdad1234
Joined: 11/18/2015
Msg: 188
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History
Narcissitic Personality Disorder or Psychopath
Posted: 11/24/2015 2:50:51 AM
I have been on the other side of your situation, my soulmate just left me and told me she is not going to reinfect herself with me. She is doing things just to hurt me and push me away. I love this girl with all my heart and if things really are as bad as she says I would do anything to try and fix it. I don't know what to do myself in this situation. Do I give up ? I know she loves me but she is trying to do what is best for her, I don't blame her. I want to make her happy I don't understand why I do what I do. It is not at all how I feel about her in any way. It kills me inside that she thinks otherwise..... Maybe your man feels the same way I do...... Maybe not... Talk with him if he loves you he will try don't do what happened to me don't keep it to yourself till its too late, if you really are soulmates keep the communication open and remember it takes two. Please don't let yours slip away as I did it was the biggest mistake I ever made...... I love and miss my Marie if I could take it all back and do it over you bet your ass I would in a heartbeat. Good luck I hope this helps I may have lost mine but you don't have too......
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