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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > No connection, no chemistry, no passion...but....they're nice?      Home login  
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 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 76
No connection, no chemistry, no passion...but....they're nice?Page 4 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
if i'm not feeling frisky, then its time to make them a friend. the only reason i'd keep the dating up is b/c I don't have a better option for sex.

I would say it isn't a gender issue, either. nearly all my female friends were dates that didn't feel it for me, but sure loved my company. so, from romantic intimacy, it quickly changed to platonic intimacy.
 justdeb1111
Joined: 8/12/2012
Msg: 77
No connection, no chemistry, no passion...but....they're nice?
Posted: 5/7/2015 9:39:24 PM
Why can't romance and chemistry develop right along together as you get to know someone and discover things about them that are not initially apparent? If all the pluses are there and no minuses, why kick them to the curb after only one date?

No one is 100% comfortable on an initial date except maybe the most jaded serial daters.

If I met a man whom I didn't feel any strong attraction to initially, but whom I know I should because everything is there, I'd date him several times to see where it goes. I may have just come off of a previous relationship and was subconsciously looking for the that same sort of person who was unlike the one I'm meeting, or, the gent I am meeting could be extremely shy (actually that is endearing)---there could be many reasons why no bells at first.
 GattoMonstrosis
Joined: 4/4/2013
Msg: 78
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No connection, no chemistry, no passion...but....they're nice?
Posted: 5/7/2015 9:56:25 PM

Why can't romance and chemistry develop right along together as you get to know someone and discover things about them that are not initially apparent? If all the pluses are there and no minuses, why kick them to the curb after only one date?


If i don't feel any attraction or the other person or even worse there's anti-chemistry then i'd rather we call it a learning experience and go our separate ways instead of leading each other on. I know attraction grows over time but if there isn't an initial "Yes!!" or it is constantly battling a subconscious "Nononono" then it's never going to feel right and i'm going to end up hurting the other person if they get attached while i just get to the point where i have to call it a day and move on, if you're going to jump ship then it's better to do it while you're still within sight of the dock. Sometimes no amount of flogging will revive a dead horse.
 Siennarh
Joined: 5/1/2015
Msg: 79
No connection, no chemistry, no passion...but....they're nice?
Posted: 5/8/2015 6:28:16 AM

they are full of ambition

I wish! ;)
 tgif333
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 80
No connection, no chemistry, no passion...but....they're nice?
Posted: 5/8/2015 6:37:30 AM

At 40 they appear to have lost their energy, their fun, are dissatisfied with their lot, the grass is always greener, they blame the world for there dissatisfaction and just want to sit in and put their feet up. They also still carry that sense of 'women will drop at my feet and do what I want' which was kind of attractive in their youth but not so much as they get older. Not saying all men are like that just the ones Ive seen on line.


i'm glad to hear that I am an exception to the rule.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 81
No connection, no chemistry, no passion...but....they're nice?
Posted: 5/8/2015 6:41:12 AM

At 40 they appear to have lost their energy, their fun, are dissatisfied with their lot, the grass is always greener, they blame the world for there dissatisfaction and just want to sit in and put their feet up.


Do you believe all women are the opposite-especially single mothers? Are single mothers and other women over 40 full of energy and happy with everything in life, are so much fun to be with, and never complain about anything?
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 82
No connection, no chemistry, no passion...but....they're nice?
Posted: 5/8/2015 6:51:40 AM

Something not very nice happens to a man when he hits 40! No offense, just saying!


Ok....I give up.....what is it? Or in my case can you reference a history book and I'll look it up myself. :)
 Eckhartwarmingtolle
Joined: 4/26/2015
Msg: 83
No connection, no chemistry, no passion...but....they're nice?
Posted: 5/8/2015 7:09:05 AM

See message 97


LOL - I even wasted my time looking !

; )
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 84
No connection, no chemistry, no passion...but....they're nice?
Posted: 5/8/2015 7:38:33 AM


Something not very nice happens to a man when he hits 40! No offense, just saying!


No 2nd date for Demidar?
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 85
No connection, no chemistry, no passion...but....they're nice?
Posted: 5/8/2015 7:42:55 AM

See message 97


I read msg 97 but you should have continued the timeline to the end.....

At 50 we start the inevitable belly crawl to the grave.....it's embarassing and we dont like to talk about it. We don't care to dress right....heck if we could get away with wearing boxers to work we would be estatic....if we could muster enough energy....even the position of the recliner becomes an obstinate opponent on a daily basis....the b*sta*d......women falling at your feet? Ha!.....you're really going to make me have to walk around you huh? .....you selfish thing you.....all I was looking for was the remote in the couch cushions....I could'nt help it if you were sitting on it....and you thought I was getting frisky......you wanna see frisky show me a sale on Dr. Scholl's foot pads.......and it's pretty dam* irritating that you have to get a newspaper everyday so you can check the obits so you can see who to take off speed dial......the rest is just to traumatic to reveal so I'll just let this be a peek into the twilight zo...I mean twilight years. :)

The views expressed herein are not necessarily those of the poster and said poster assumes no responsibility expressed or implied that they in any way reflect upon said poster in said post. :)

you folks have a good day now...ya hear :) remember......if you can't see anything to compliment anyone 50 and over on.....just punch'em in the mouth....at least they know you looked. :)
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 86
No connection, no chemistry, no passion...but....they're nice?
Posted: 5/8/2015 7:47:08 AM

LOL - I even wasted my time looking ! ; )


rofl


Vicki, I'm sorry what you describe is the quality of men you are coming across. But trust me, not all men over 40 are like this. Yes, some are however in my experience, most aren't. If they are sitting there with their feet up, it's because they have just finished working their damn asses off (just like some of us women do) for 20 plus years. Those men I've come across, once you've let them rest, you only have to say the word and they are more than happy to get out and have fun. They work hard and play harder. ;P So maybe give them a chance or up the quality of men you want in your sight. :)
Maleman didn't spoil your argement Vicki. He made an excellent point.



They also still carry that sense of 'women will drop at my feet and do what I want' which was kind of attractive in their youth


God's gift to women isn't an attractive quality at any age. imo Just saying
 Siennarh
Joined: 5/1/2015
Msg: 87
No connection, no chemistry, no passion...but....they're nice?
Posted: 5/8/2015 8:06:57 AM
The over 40s men are very nice, well to me anyway. Generally.
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 88
No connection, no chemistry, no passion...but....they're nice?
Posted: 5/8/2015 10:34:25 AM


Do you believe all women are the opposite-especially single mothers? Are single mothers


Why them? They're raising children.



and other women over 40 full of energy and happy with everything in life, are so much fun to be with, and never complain about anything?


We get tired of appeasing the obese egos of our male counterparts. You'd think by 40, they'd quit behaving like frat boys and high-schoolers and pretend they are what they were in those bygone ages ... but some never crawl beyond that.
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 89
No connection, no chemistry, no passion...but....they're nice?
Posted: 5/8/2015 10:54:08 AM


they'd quit behaving like frat boys and high-schoolers and pretend they are what they were in those bygone ages ... but some never crawl beyond that.


They say you need time to discover your authentic self after exiting a LTR(s)...

Well, I'm back to being 19 again. Go figure. Chunkier, balder, wealthier and full of mischief.

Wine o'clock will be starting later and dude, I am goin' to oblivion, full speed ahead.

None of this serenity, simpatico and domestic tranquility stuff.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 90
No connection, no chemistry, no passion...but....they're nice?
Posted: 5/8/2015 11:49:58 AM

Zero dates.

I don't give people a second chance. Period. If I did not like them on that first date. I am not going to like them later on. The moment my inner voice says, nah, it's nah. I don't give a s h it, how hot, attractive, connected, with money or sexual, or anything else. If I don't feel it. Don't waste my time. Don't waste her time.


100%

I used to go out with people but the thing is, if I wouldn't f*ck you, what's the point? Yeah, getting to know people is all cool and dandy but dating is dating, and men don't want to be friendzoned. If I like him on the first date, there may be a second, if second date goes well, there may be a third, if by the third date I stop liking you or something stupid is said, no fourth date, no anything, the chance is shot.
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 91
No connection, no chemistry, no passion...but....they're nice?
Posted: 5/8/2015 4:39:10 PM

youthful swagger


I get that as another way of describing god's gifters, I do but now try and turn the table a bit Oluben and theorize why I would say that swagger isn't attractive at any age.



It also sad when these guys refuse to accept when it's over as well like aging boxers.


Hmmm mmm ... *nods
There's one reason :)
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 92
No connection, no chemistry, no passion...but....they're nice?
Posted: 5/8/2015 5:34:13 PM

youthful swagger


I have that.....just came naturally after two acl replacements on the same knee.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 93
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No connection, no chemistry, no passion...but....they're nice?
Posted: 5/9/2015 2:05:44 AM
Lots of people you may meet can be decent, nice etc., and on superficial acquaintance, but if I found the guy reasonably attractive, fun, good conversationalist and I liked him overall, I may give him another chance. Still no chemistry or real sexual attraction on the second date, then I would be letting them know that I am not feeling it. Hopefully the guy is not paying for all four dates that you may go on. It should be 50-50 all the way.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 94
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No connection, no chemistry, no passion...but....they're nice?
Posted: 5/9/2015 12:33:06 PM

Ok....I give up.....what is it? Or in my case can you reference a history book and I'll look it up myself. :)



Apparently, the first digit 3 becomes a 4..my gosh THE HORROR!


At 50 we start the inevitable belly crawl to the grave..


Thanks for the heads up! I will go purchase one of them motorized wheel chairs. I crawl for no one!unless a walker chews off my leg or something, than I will just hop!


It also sad when these guys refuse to accept when it's over as well like aging boxers.



Why does it have to be over? My father is going to be 77 this year. I have seen with my own eyes his ability to get interest, pull , attract, and captivate attractive women of ALL ages.

A little while back he told me if he ever becomes single again( domestic partner would have to die for that to happen because he truly loves her) he would spend more time in Vegas (because he loves the nightlife there), spending the rest of his days chasing women.

On that note, one of his ex girlfriends who is from your city,London(and was our nanny for 1 year when i was younger), had moved back to England 30 years ago. She sends 2-3 postcards/letters weekly trying to get him back for the last 10+ yrs. Sucks because it is my present address and it freaks out my relations lol.
 justdeb1111
Joined: 8/12/2012
Msg: 95
No connection, no chemistry, no passion...but....they're nice?
Posted: 5/9/2015 1:50:46 PM

Damn: just erased a bunch of touchy-feeley crap.


Thank you lol

Actually, I would like to have read it. No one does touchy-feely better than TK.

to Vicky: could you expand on what it is you alluded to when you said that something not very nice happens to men when we hit 40. Kind'a curious, 40 is way in the rear view.


Yes, it seems that when a man is young they are full of life, they are fun, there is nothing they can not achieve, they are full of ambition and they think they are gods gift. At 40 they appear to have lost their energy, their fun, are dissatisfied with their lot, the grass is always greener, they blame the world for there dissatisfaction and just want to sit in and put their feet up. They also still carry that sense of 'women will drop at my feet and do what I want' which was kind of attractive in their youth but not so much as they get older. *Not saying all men are like that just the ones Ive seen on line.*

Um...I've never seen that in men over 40--even when I was younger than that and definitely not now. If anything, I've seen the opposite--they know more how to interact romantically, know what went wrong if there was a lost love and are determined not to do the same again. They tend to make more time for romance and aren't as worried about their career demands. As to sitting back and not doing anything--men in their 40's and well into their 50's are at the top of their career game, they are the apex.

If online men/profiles are tainting your perceptions of men of a certain, delightful, age, girl--you need to get out and off line more!
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 96
No connection, no chemistry, no passion...but....they're nice?
Posted: 5/10/2015 8:56:22 AM

Yes, it seems that when a man is young they are full of life, they are fun, there is nothing they can not achieve, they are full of ambition and they think they are gods gift. At 40 they appear to have lost their energy, their fun, are dissatisfied with their lot, the grass is always greener, they blame the world for there dissatisfaction and just want to sit in and put their feet up. They also still carry that sense of 'women will drop at my feet and do what I want' which was kind of attractive in their youth but not so much as they get older. Not saying all men are like that just the ones Ive seen on line.


I can do basically anything I WANT but, what a lot of people do have a problem with is when I actually decide to say "phuck that noise!!!!!" Is that what you are seeing?? I never once believed I was a God's "gift". I have yet to even find that "God" to believe in, so how would I could I believe I was some imaginary "gift"?
The world itself doesn't disappoint me, or dissatisfy me. It's the people that live on it that make me shake my head and walk away in silence. Are you telling me to lower my expectations of others? Cause right now, I'm scraping my belly after lowering my expectations as low as I have at this time of my life.
And yes, I do expect a women to drop at my feet. Preferably, just to her knees. After that, it's basically up to me. I agree, I really wasn't all that attractive when I was younger but, now???? I'm phucking stunning. Do you want my glasses? Or, how about my magically mirror?????
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 97
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No connection, no chemistry, no passion...but....they're nice?
Posted: 5/10/2015 9:31:25 AM

And lets just hope Joe is still doing hes caveman thing right up to the age of 77 just like hes dad, because sex and love and stuff shouldn't just be about being young.


That will be the rumor. Don't worry, I will still be in my prime ;), with the help of my good friends Pfizer and Eli Lilly of course! (for you overseas..those are the American manufacturers of Viagra and Cialis lol)
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 98
No connection, no chemistry, no passion...but....they're nice?
Posted: 5/10/2015 10:08:08 AM
oh yes, c0ckiness and swagger are, as the saying goes, the male version of b00bs. Even on this forum over the years, I've seen at least three c0cky fellows who other fellows couldn't stand (to the point the others might even ask the c0cky one to rein it in) but a few of the ladies thought that one c0cky fellow was just the cat's ass, even thought about meeting him in person.

a young person might have a youthful swagger, or a frat boy attitude, or just plain be immature. but a person "over the hill" might have a more mature swagger, a "Catching the second wind of life" if you will. they find a new joie de vivre, they decide they will age but refuse to grow old, they might have vigor instead of stodginess. they might decide its not time to pull away from life and wait for the inevitable darkness just yet.

you can throw in the towel as far as acting like you're twenty one and your knees can take anything, but then adopt a "40 is the new 20" attitude and still be a fun guy, just not drinking everyone under the table to do it. you mature your pursuits, rather than give up on them entirely.

just b/c the 20 yr old girls don't want you romancing them anymore, doesn't mean you can't try to make a middle aged woman feel desireable.
 Joegl209
Joined: 10/13/2014
Msg: 99
No connection, no chemistry, no passion...but....they're nice?
Posted: 5/10/2015 11:06:32 AM
I think I'd know after the first date if the woman was right for me for a second date. I think after a few hours of conversation you get to know if you want to see the person again. Did you keep going on dates in hopes she'd have sex with you and it never panned out? Four dates is three too many for someone who I don't see a future relationship with.
 Blackwood85
Joined: 5/20/2013
Msg: 100
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No connection, no chemistry, no passion...but....they're nice?
Posted: 5/10/2015 11:45:17 AM
Considering I'm on the losing end of the "OMG, you're so nice but we don't have chemistry, I feel bad now because you are really nice" texts, if the shoe was on the other foot I would just give them multiple chances since I don't believe in instant chemistry in the first place.
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