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 majyk1
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 72
Men & woman of a certain size???Page 6 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Holy fvckin crap, its an easy question
{"Do you think that there is a double standard when it comes to size for a man dating and a woman dating?"}

YES (end of answer)
 Greyfeld
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 73
view profile
History
Men & woman of a certain size???
Posted: 10/8/2009 10:59:52 PM

Holy fvckin crap, its an easy question
{"Do you think that there is a double standard when it comes to size for a man dating and a woman dating?"}

YES (end of answer)


Not to be rude, but...

REALLY???
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 78
Men & woman of a certain size???
Posted: 10/9/2009 4:45:05 AM
I have always liked men taller, big but solid, not man boobs and a giant Santa belly.

In other words a muscular stocky guy not a morbidly obese one. I've just never been attracted to short guys. Yes a solid teddy bear is a real jaw dropper for me.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 87
Men & woman of a certain size???
Posted: 10/9/2009 7:37:54 AM
The best thing about fat bashing threads...
it brings out the true personalities of people on
fishes.
People are certainly entitled to have their opinions
and they are certainly entitled to express them.
It's nice to be honest...to tell people how you really
feel about them and what you think about them...but
in the end mostly it just makes you look bad.
There are worse things than being fat....
fat people can loose weight...ugly and just plain being
mean is forever.

Good luck with that.
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 93
Men & woman of a certain size???
Posted: 10/9/2009 11:31:37 AM
We can get started with the inflamed/ swollen appearance of a fat person. Infections, injuries, etc. often lead to swelling. Fat people just look swollen and odd. The image of someone with drastically excessive fat and rolls and unusual formations of bodymass is something unsightly and uneasy upon the eyes.


That's amusing considering people spend big bucks on getting their lips injected with collagen, fat injections to fill out their wrinkles, butt implants, penis enlargements, and bags of saline stuffed into their chest. From what I see shrinkage in some areas isn't a good thing. Rubens (the painter) saw beauty in a woman's natural healthy body.

I look at the indicators of overall health on someone by looking at the condition of their skin, their hair, teeth, fingernails, and dark circles or more bags than the claim check at Ohaire Airport under their eyes.

When you get right down to it - it's a body. Its made of soft tissues, bone, organs, muscles, and blood vessels. I'm not going to spend my whole life obsessing about it. After you die it's just all food for the worms anyways.
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 94
Men & woman of a certain size???
Posted: 10/9/2009 12:30:22 PM
I've had an experience similar to yours, happyrebel, though I wasn't dating at the time I was fat - I didn't have the energy! Or the libido - it was due to an undiagnosed thyroid disorder. Prior to that I had never had to even think about my weight.

It's being treated now, which caused most of the excess to drop off almost immediately as of about 3 years ago, and while I retain maybe 10 pounds more than I should be for ideal health (I carry a lot more muscle than most women my height and should be about 120 - I'm mostly 128-130 now), this troubles me little and rarely. My top weight was around 185. Scary! And on top of feeling terrible anyway due to the health problem underlying it, carrying all that weight around made me feel awful, too. I wasn't comfortable bending, stretching, twisting, it put a strain on my knees and ankles, I hated it.

In terms of people who wanted to date me, though I was uninterested during this period, very little seemed different at the time. I still got approached and/or hit on a lot. However, I did notice that I seemed to have become invisible to a great extent in public generally, which was rather startling, and I'm sure it would have been much the same had I pursued opportunities in a venue like this one. It just kind of goes with the territory. And I certainly wouldn't have wanted to hear about it if someone felt I was too fat to be appealing to them! That's "Now why don't you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it" territory, IMO.

And, in retrospect, I think I also got fewer serious offers of real involvement during that time than I do now.
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 96
Men & woman of a certain size???
Posted: 10/9/2009 3:41:17 PM

Its just the end point when you want to start dating again and losing the weight that the libido comes back...

Gotta disagree there, my libido came roaring back within 3 days after I started taking the thyroid supplement. I was almost instantly the same massive sex fiend I'd always been previously. But it took another 3 months to want to have anyone see me naked...


And longer than that to find someone whom I wanted to be that anyone!

And yeah, I take your point, usually if it's an endocrine problem, they're not likely to be looking, though there may be some exceptions.

However, this can be useful when someone posts, "Help! My wife has gained 45 pounds and doesn't want to have sex anymore!" I ask if her hair's thinning. About 8 out of 10, I'd estimate, say something like, "Yes, how'd you know?" Then I figure it probably applies, and tell them about it.

And now I'm thinking about it so much, thanks to this discussion, I realize I do bend over backwards on this matter, if I'm saying "no" to someone. If it's a noticeably heavy person, I'm much more likely to volunteer the reason so that they won't assume it's because they're heavy. (Unless I was deeply offended by the style of approach, or they're so huge that it is the reason why; then I stick to my usual no-explanation policy.) Apparently this is useless as they are likely to assume that's it anyway.
 majyk1
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 98
Men & woman of a certain size???
Posted: 10/9/2009 5:50:04 PM
{"Not to be rude, but...
REALLY???"}

Yes greyfeld, thats MY opinion! It really was an easy question! Everyone wants to make it some complex issue and its not.
 pamsfl
Joined: 8/14/2009
Msg: 100
Men & woman of a certain size???
Posted: 10/9/2009 8:54:53 PM
Singing to CW35 -- Short people got.....no reason to.... lol. A little defensive about his lack of height, so he has to insult everyone else. Pathetic. He must have other "short"
comings....
 8soldierfalcon8
Joined: 2/16/2009
Msg: 102
Men & woman of a certain size???
Posted: 10/10/2009 1:30:03 AM
if you think i'm homely, then you seriously need to have your eyes examined. most find me quite beautiful.


In what dimension/reality?


oh and btw my whole profile is fake and i'm certainly NOT looking for a sweet man, actually i'm not looking for any man because i already have one.


What?!? That makes no sense. Are you crazy, or just a cheater?


oh and my post was NOT directed at you, it was directed at Division77 because he is a douchebag. and when i wear heals, i tower over someone who is only 5'7" and it looks very strange


Because you are shaped like a Mac truck. I dated a girl who was 5'11 before and wore heals, but she was very waif-like and beautiful so we made a cute couple.


oh and you broke the rules by insulting me so you will be reported.


Cute. You're a real piece of work. You were not even talking to me, but I decided to respond because I just can't stand your nasty attitude.

Of all the posters on this forum, you are perhaps the more inflammatory and trollish.

And sorry hun... I read the rules. You can't report me. Just nonsensically insult things on my profile.... however, I have never claimed that mine was "fake"... as you have. Which, by the way, I think is a violation of the terms of service. :)

--------------------------
On topic.... I think everyone should strive to feel good about themselves. However, feeling good about oneself when nothing has been done to be a better person, or healthier is not very logical. Anything of value is worth effort, and good things usually take hard work.

Taking pride in being overweight is like taking pride in being uneducated. It just doesn't make any sense. That said, there is really no reason to be hateful to fat people. It's not like it's going to accomplish anything other than make more angry words.

People will only lose weight once something inside them snaps, and they get the drive to be healthy themselves. It takes dedication, and it takes doing it for yourself - not for someone else or to be better looking.

People saying nasty things to fat people about their weight does not create skinny people.... just fat people with more issues than they already had.

So... stop the fat bashing.


-8sf8
 brownie360
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 103
view profile
History
Men & woman of a certain size???
Posted: 10/10/2009 2:06:50 AM
DIVISION77

In looking at your photo, you are in no real position to insult anyone here. You dont like big women so flipping what! If slinging insults to prove your point of your preference, shows you have a big problem. Just because a man prefers larger women does not mean he is some desperate chubby chaser. You are not the spokesperson for all men and who and what they prefer in a woman; yet you are the poster child of ignorance and downright STUPIDITY!
 8soldierfalcon8
Joined: 2/16/2009
Msg: 105
Men & woman of a certain size???
Posted: 10/10/2009 3:04:14 AM
^^^ I felt like this was a very sincere, sensitive, thoughtful post.

Thank you. It's difficult for me to be that nice. I like that someone made a logical post without being mean-spirited.


I got fat due to an unhappy marriage and working 90 hours a week running restaurants. I still am not where I want to be yet, but I am not fat anymore.


I am almost full blooded German and I love unhealthy foods. My body is very, very efficient at creating fat.

So.. in answer, I run almost every day. I make a conscious effort to get out of the house every day and do something. I walk down the street to the gas station - not drive. I don't drink soda or eat candy.

Nothing tastes as good as thin feels, and being healthy is worth fighting for.

We (arguably) only get one life. I for one do not want to live it as a fat person.

However, like I said, throwing hatred in written form at fat people is not going to solve any problems at all.

-8sf8
 brownie360
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 106
view profile
History
Men & woman of a certain size???
Posted: 10/10/2009 3:08:43 AM
Your responses are too funny! she is a for sure idiot. lol. She has a fake profile? How pathetic is that? A fake profile on a dating site.lol.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 107
Men & woman of a certain size???
Posted: 10/10/2009 4:25:59 AM

In our society it's considered rude to explain the truth to obese people.


Yeah, it's just like the stupid people: everyone tiptoes around them and NO one wants to come out and say, "Hey, you're just stupid, no offense."


The only people who make a big deal of this are the very people the thread is about: Obese people.


Not quite: I have seen skinny people make a big deal out of people being fat. On POF, mostly that they want the big women to stop contacting them. In fact, I saw two men in a now defunct forum complain that fat women had the AUDACITY to VIEW their profiles. Oh, the pain of being viewed by someone fat!


Men generally if they are bigger are teddy bears.


Obese men might call themselves "teddy bears," but just about everyone else looks at them and says, "fat guys." Women call themselves "BBWs," a misnomer for most of them because they might be big, but not beautiful.


So I guess what I am wondering is what other people think. Believe me I am curious. I am a plus size woman and I am happy with who I am . I am active and I am healthy. But because of my size if I mention cooking people look negatively on that. And they automatically think that I am lazy.


Methinks your skin isn't so thick or you wouldn't be asking.

OP, that's life. Get used to it or lose some weight--those are pretty much your only options. If you are truly happy with yourself, what does it matter what other people think?

And I know loads of fat people who are married or in a relationship. I was.
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 111
Men & woman of a certain size???
Posted: 10/10/2009 3:43:36 PM
Ms edencapwell, it is against the rules to have a fake profile. See rule:

Deleted Profiles

If you go through the process of deleting your profile it is gone for good. We cannot restore your profile. If your account was deleted and you have been banished by the computer that means you broke some rules. The most common reasons for being deleted are:
1. Like every other major site we block users from Africa, Romania, Turkey, India, Russia etc.
2. You must be 18+
3. You uploaded nude/bad images etc
4. A lot of users reported that you were rude/mean.
5. Soliciting people for any reason or sending spam.
6. 1 profile per person, no fake profiles , no harassing etc
7. You didn't complete the sign up process and our system removed your profile.

Plentyoffish is the only major site that regularly removes users we believe are not fit to use our service. About .5% of users are deleted for being repeatedly rude, mean, harassing or insulting to other users.
 NYCman530
Joined: 7/6/2009
Msg: 113
view profile
History
Men & woman of a certain size???
Posted: 10/10/2009 3:56:00 PM
If a woman feels as if she's being rejected in her profile because of her weight, there are plenty of BBW dating sites where guys prefer heavy women. I personally prefer women who are average, athletic or slender. And as far as personality is concerned like you mentioned, of course people are going to first observe the physical. But I'd rather get with a woman who's in merely decent shape with a great personality than one who's drop dead gorgeous but constantly ****y.
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 114
Men & woman of a certain size???
Posted: 10/10/2009 4:00:06 PM
I hate to burst the bubbles of all of you who think BBWs date the bottom of the barrel, but this BBW has been married twice, been in loving, fun, intimate relationships with men who were PROUD to be seen with me and treated me wonderfully. I flirt, I get hit on, I have fun and for those who's preference is small, great for them. I'm not everyone's cup of tea. My attitude is if you don't like,,don't look.


..............and many of us hedonists enjoy sex a whole lot more than we enjoy food, so if you want your GF to lose weight? Man up and keep her busy! I know men can walk in and out of our lives at anytime, but that pint of Ben and Jerrys ain't goin nowhere!
 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 119
view profile
History
Men & woman of a certain size???
Posted: 10/10/2009 8:10:53 PM
I just expect what you have to offer. I'm no supermodel, and I'm not looking for one either.


*shrugs*
 JustMary65
Joined: 5/26/2008
Msg: 124
Men & woman of a certain size???
Posted: 10/11/2009 8:04:45 AM
LOL I recently had an experience where I was in an office with my co-workers and I was sputtering about some issues with customers ( I can be a comical sort with little effort) and I was totally unaware that there was a man who was doing some plumbing in the area where I was spouting off.

Needless to say, I had the whole office laughing to tears and out of no where this voice trumpets ' I want to take you out to a bar....you're one of the funniest gals I've ever heard'. I just chuckled because he didn't see me....he only heard me...but in that period of about 10 minutes of my ranting he figured I was someone he wanted to go out with on a date.

He was tall, great smile and quite attractive...I figured when he came out of the room he'd take one look at me and think....bah.....that's one of Huge Heffnah's Heffahs and recant his offer to go out...but he didn't...he said it was one of the best places he'd ever had to work in....course as soon as I spied a wedding ring on his finger I told em there'd be NO dates for he and I...to which he replied 'well, can we still be friends?'

The point is.....sometimes ya just know there is something about a person that makes them larger than life.....yeah, body types make a difference when you are hoping to catch someone's attention...but I'm learning that it's my larger than life voice and personality that does EXACTLY the same thing. It's about perspective. Double standards only apply if we allow them too. I'm a fiesty fat fun forty something female ...hear me roar-----or purrrrrrrrrrrr...LOL.

As long as I'm healthy....I don't care if people pass me over cuz I'm short and round.....there are plenty of people who stand up and take notice....cuz I project a sexy sizzling siren----and that is just as appealing. I call it CONFIDENCE----JMHO.

MM
 startle
Joined: 7/22/2008
Msg: 125
Men & woman of a certain size???
Posted: 10/11/2009 9:18:32 AM
i keep my weight down because my ego will not allow me to gain weight..i want to feel i look good...better than the rest...my girlfriend who is over weight received almost no attention on pof...you have more options if you lose weight...i have had to lose weight many times and it can be done...after a few days your body adjusts to your new diet...i recently had a relationship with an over weight man...it was a first...i found him as sexy as any other man...he was lacking in self confidence and was therefore jealous of me so i had to kick him to the curb...also his weight caused sexual problems which became too hard to deal with..
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 126
Men & woman of a certain size???
Posted: 10/11/2009 9:30:57 AM
Pshaw! ^^^^^^

I'd get a lot of "attention" if I had a picture of my FAT ass spread across my bed, asking, "Care to join me?" It's not difficult to get "attention". I want QUALITY TIME.
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 127
Men & woman of a certain size???
Posted: 10/11/2009 10:12:20 AM
I'd get a lot of "attention" if I had a picture of my FAT ass spread across my bed, asking, "Care to join me?" It's not difficult to get "attention". I want QUALITY TIME.


CassaGo - That was priceless!!!!!!!!!!!!
I haven't tried that - so that's what I've been doing wrong. hhhmmmm
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