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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > What you bring to the table      Home login  
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 RAMPERBILL
Joined: 6/24/2009
Msg: 118
What you bring to the table Page 6 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Many of us are fearful of being scammed, one reason a lot of us fail to find mates...oh for a crystal-ball lie detector.
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I don't look for crystal-ball lie detectors. Your best defense is a good offense. Scammers have a game, and work by a playbook. They not only know what to do first, but what to do next. They're best target is someone who just gives up. Both male and female have the same concerns. Someday, a scammer will think things are going to turn out a certain way, and meet the wrong person. They find someone who has a better scam. An example: Somewhere on these forums there is a man concerned of losing everything he has should he marry and have children. Somewhere, on these forums, there is a man who seeks these same things, but plans to profit from it. Somewhere, on these forums, there is a woman who can stop him dead in his tracks. Somewhere there is a man who can trump her. And so on..............

Until you can remove scammers, you have to play by their rules.
 FarmExe
Joined: 10/1/2009
Msg: 119
What you bring to the table
Posted: 10/27/2009 12:33:21 PM
I have everything on the table. Just intrigue me!
 RAMPERBILL
Joined: 6/24/2009
Msg: 120
What you bring to the table
Posted: 10/27/2009 12:37:11 PM
If you've ever seen the movie "The Thomas Crown Affair", you can see this played out in its entirety. Two very intelligent people, both aware of scams, who find, and almost lose, each other. Now that's trust!!!!!! It's only a movie though. There are two versions. I liked the one with Rene Russo better.
 spicynicegirl
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 121
What you bring to the table
Posted: 10/27/2009 4:24:24 PM
^^^^^^I like the Pierce Brosnan version better too.....................
 RAMPERBILL
Joined: 6/24/2009
Msg: 122
What you bring to the table
Posted: 10/27/2009 4:39:08 PM
^^^^^^I like the Pierce Brosnan version better too....................
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Wan't it a great movie? I loved it. Watch it at least twice a year.
 slumpy
Joined: 9/21/2009
Msg: 123
What you bring to the table
Posted: 10/27/2009 4:47:24 PM
Women bring dinner to the table And we love them
 RAMPERBILL
Joined: 6/24/2009
Msg: 124
What you bring to the table
Posted: 10/27/2009 5:11:05 PM
Mcqueen was a much better actor. Love the old split screen effects. besides the plot and the caper were more realistic. the newer version isn't bad. The original still holds up after almost 35 years.
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I've seen this version at the library. Ok, I'll go borrow it and watch it (but, I won't copy it, like.). Only because I like the movie, and Steve McQueen is a great actor also.
 Blues1963
Joined: 9/13/2009
Msg: 125
What you bring to the table
Posted: 10/27/2009 8:32:03 PM
Mcqueen completely rocks. the old version stands up.

Another fun comparison is the old/new Manchurian candidate.

I used to make a lot more money than most of the women i dated. I was happy to give and not count it. The ones that started to try and spend it for me didn;t last long though.

Now that i'm a minmalist with a job I like, it's usually a much more dutch affair, though i'm still old fashioned enough to treat if the outing was my idea.
 blueyesrsmiling
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 126
What you bring to the table
Posted: 10/28/2009 4:58:17 AM
People bring all sorts of things to the table. The bring good intentions, great social skills, and conversation and laughter. What they have isn't as improtant as who they are inside. But if they are so tight that they squeek....Mr. Tightwad then were just not going to fit. I like taking turns doing things. I don't go out unless I have the extra money.......so if they are so tight they invite me out and expect me to pay I probably won't be going out with them again. If I invite I pay. Communication is important. They need to be upfront about what they are looking for. Going dutch each time reminds me more of FWB.....and if your looking for that kind for relationship .... and the people are accepting........good for you. I am looking for someone that is bringing a partnership not their money. I am pretty balanced whenever it comes to being fair and taking turns.....and expect if were dating that we take turns...
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 127
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What you bring to the table
Posted: 10/28/2009 5:34:29 AM

spending like there's no tomorrow


Question is, is there a tomorrow? I am beginning to see a few of my long term friends in this age group get picked off rather suddenly and unexpectedly by disease of one sort or another. From one day to the next there is no tomorrow for them.

Perhaps we should all be spending like there is no tomorrow, and even running up debts like crazy. Dead people can't be forced to pay their debts, after all.....
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 128
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What you bring to the table
Posted: 10/28/2009 5:56:40 AM
As they say..."Have you considered pre-arrangement?"
 cottonnballs
Joined: 8/7/2009
Msg: 129
What you bring to the table
Posted: 12/30/2009 10:14:33 PM
My feelings is that financial considerations are a necessity. I do not foolishly spend money. I don't have any serious debts, live a very affordable lifestyle and when I wo rk I make excellent money. In considering a woman for a partner for the rest of my life I'm looking for one who is not a burden to me and I don't want to be a burden to her. Unfortunately I don't have any significant savings or income to support me in retirement and social security will be very small. I've got nothing but a little real estate that isn't worth enough to support my living expenses for more than 5 years. So, if I met a woman who is willing and capable of combining assets to our mutual benefit then she might be a suitable partner. In my thinking it would be good if I found one who would cash in her assets and live in my home which for some that would be a very fair agreement. I certainly would hope a woman I might consider marrying would not feel that I was taking advantage of her financially if we had to live off of her money yet I'm contributing equally with my resources which are not monetary. At some point we have to find that there are more things important than money.
 catman50
Joined: 9/9/2008
Msg: 130
What you bring to the table
Posted: 1/1/2010 6:12:09 AM
I think alot you have NEVER thuahgt of 1 thing . a pre-nup . don't anyone say OH THAT FOR MARRIED PEOPLE . it's not . in todays world , a prenup says what will happen IN CASE . a woman moves in with a guy . he has nothing or very little . while , she is at work he cleans her bank account out . The woman feels like a heel for letting it happen . when IF , she hasd a pre-nup he could not do it . when we were in our 20's we did not think of this . in our 50's we have to . how will we live ? do we really want to move with our kids . they have there life and we have ours .
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 131
What you bring to the table
Posted: 1/1/2010 6:25:42 AM
Some Asian stir fry served over spaghetti squash, a sense of humor, some matches to light the candles? A good bottle of wine?

thecatsmeoww
 tinkerbellcgy
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 132
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What you bring to the table
Posted: 1/1/2010 9:04:20 AM

I think alot you have NEVER thuahgt of 1 thing . a pre-nup . don't anyone say OH THAT FOR MARRIED PEOPLE . it's not . in todays world , a prenup says what will happen IN CASE . a woman moves in with a guy . he has nothing or very little . while , she is at work he cleans her bank account out . The woman feels like a heel for letting it happen . when IF , she hasd a pre-nup he could not do it . when we were in our 20's we did not think of this . in our 50's we have to . how will we live ? do we really want to move with our kids . they have there life and we have ours .

A Pre-Nup is a good idea in theory but it is only as good as the paper it is written on especially if you are dealing with two individuals of different moral character. If you are dealing with someone who is going to "clean her bank account out" while she is at work, then a Pre-Nup agreement perhaps won't do much good depending upon the circumstances. If it was a jointly held account, then he has every right to the funds in that account even if he did not "earn" that right. If it was a bank account in the female's name alone with no authority to access to that account by the the male, then it is theft - a criminal matter. In the latter case, a Pre-Nup would not even enter into the equation.

Having said that, a Pre-Nup is good in that it sets out each parties' assets at the date that cohabitation commences and it can be used as a guideline for appreciation of asset values which will be beneficial if and when the relationship ends and asset division is on the horizon.
 Juste moi Danielle
Joined: 7/8/2009
Msg: 133
What you bring to the table
Posted: 1/1/2010 2:24:05 PM
Well, tonight it's just me so I had left-overs - ragoût de pattes de cochon and tourtière, with 3 huge pieces of bread to clean up my plate...yum!

I guess you could say that what I bring to the table since the holidays is a fatter (by about ten pounds) me...hahaha!


\/ I'm interested!!! The thing is...I have left over ham here too...I'm munching on chocolate right now (well someone has to eat all that food dammit) then I'm jumping in the butter tarts (again)....haha...I am un petit cochon (ok un gros cochon)...:))))
 FriendlyFreeSpirit
Joined: 7/27/2009
Msg: 134
What you bring to the table
Posted: 1/1/2010 2:25:44 PM
^^oooh you petit cochon...
Talking of pig, I've still got so much ham left over. I suppose I need to mosie over to the recipe threads for help on this. So..I've got ham on the table, if anyone's interested.
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 135
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What you bring to the table
Posted: 1/1/2010 2:28:03 PM
i have leftovers tonight too - large stuffed jumbo shells baked in tomato sauce with tons of parmesan cheese.

 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 136
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What you bring to the table
Posted: 1/1/2010 2:47:24 PM
I've got a pot of Hopping John - still haven't decided whether or not to make some cornbread to go with it.

All of you with left over ham could send me some.... great for split pea soup, any kind of beans, ham salad (like tuna, but with finely chopped ham instead), fried ham patties, noodle casseroles...

Dang! Now I'm getting really hungry.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 137
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What you bring to the table
Posted: 1/1/2010 3:06:28 PM
I am not bringing anything to the table tonight nor did I last night.

Last night was Chinese food at a gathering of friends that I went to. Tonight is roast chicken at one of the other friends house.................no cooking for me.
 *Starstuff*
Joined: 11/6/2009
Msg: 138
What you bring to the table
Posted: 1/1/2010 5:05:51 PM
In answer to the original question: What you bring to the table... I have a lot to bring to the table, intelligence, wit, humor, a good personality, creativity, love, sensuality and many more qualities that people look for in a partner.

I'm more interested in a person by how they act and react with other people than what they can or cannot do as far as their work, activities, etc.
 amethyst10616
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 139
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What you bring to the table
Posted: 1/1/2010 6:10:00 PM
As I begin this new year, among my goals is contributing more each month to my retirement. I do hope to find a wonderful man to share my life with, but we have to have similiar values, and it is important that we have the same thoughts about our finances.

He will also bring integrity, honesty, loyalty, and many qualities. I do not ask anything of anyone that I am unwilling or unable to bring myself. To me, working toward the same goals in life is what defines the partnership and keeps love thriving.
 HoldingHands27
Joined: 12/16/2009
Msg: 140
What do you bring to the table ...?
Posted: 1/1/2010 10:03:12 PM
I'm a pretty good cook...What would you Like..??
*****
I've lived on medium-high salary, and none at all...
*******
Honesty, sincerity, dedication, devotion, loyalty, affection, mental and physical
aptitudes,
Where and what I work as has varied greatly in the last 15 years...
Dreams...??
I have several ideas for my own businesses...
but just need that little extra pocket-change for the tools/supplies to get going...
 CynthiaMw
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 141
What do you bring to the table ...?
Posted: 1/1/2010 11:05:47 PM
I am an ant. My exhusband is a grasshopper. It is very stressful for an ant to share finances with a grasshopper. It is very restricting for a grasshopper to share finances with an ant.

It's not about absolute or relative amount of earnings, savings, or spending. It's about compatibility in personality toward earnings, savings, or spending. The same as compatibility in temperment, honesty, communication amount/style, sexual appetite, initiative, smoking, etc etc.

The ant is neither good, nor bad; not better or worse than the grasshopper. The grasshopper is neither good, nor bad; not better or worse than the ant. They are different from each other. For some that sort of opposites may attract. Or, they may not place as high a priority on that difference and be able to live together anyway. For me that difference makes us incompatible for the kind of longterm relationship I'm looking for.
 TodaysCatch
Joined: 4/12/2008
Msg: 142
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What do you bring to the table ...?
Posted: 1/2/2010 12:39:51 AM
^^^^^^^^^^^
Great illustration. How people view finances is really what the point is here. I'm impressed that the OP stayed with this thread for the last two months - bravo.

Say, an earlier post got me thinking: instead of just stating your income, why don't they have a spot for your FICO score on these dating sites? It would be a lot more meaningful, I think.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > What you bring to the table