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 boinkboinkboink
Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 51
A real womanPage 3 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)

Precisely!!! BEST answer yet!!! A gold star to the little man!!!


ummmmm..... no. Where else do expressions like, "looks can be deceiving", come from?
 8soldierfalcon8
Joined: 2/16/2009
Msg: 52
A real woman
Posted: 10/11/2009 10:18:54 AM
Lint Spitter... I <3 you. Seriously.

It's very rare on these forums that anyone gives a man the benefit of the doubt in regards to his preferences - especially concerning the physical. What makes this so ironic is that preferences are really not arguable things.

Anyway, just to clarify, the 125 lb thing was specifically meant for women 5' to 5'5" or so as just an ideal. My x wife was 5' tall and weighed 135. She also wore a size 5 in jeans.. and was a 34DD. I realize that all women carry their weight differently.

Every one of my friends in my pic where I am dressed up and drunk in Atlanta were between 100 lbs and 125 lbs. or so.

I am 5'7". I have dated girls up to 5'11", but I seem to most commonly date girls from 5'2" to 5'7" or so. Girls around my dating range (as an average) are at a healthy bmi at around (you guessed it) 125 or so.

OP, I am really not trying to derail your thread with all of this weight talk. I know that there is no other topic on POF that is more prone to create flame wars.

I just wanted to clarify, and say for the record that a "real woman" does not verbally crucify a man for being attracted to women who are not in her demographic.

Just like a "real man" does not send nasty emails to women on here who send a polite rejection letter in response to their email, and then turn around and complain how women don't email back on POF.



-8sf8
 CompletelyDone
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 53
A real woman
Posted: 10/11/2009 10:20:37 AM

ummmmm..... no. Where else do expressions like, "looks can be deceiving", come from?


ummmmmm... from people who can't "see" ???
 boinkboinkboink
Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 54
A real woman
Posted: 10/11/2009 10:23:52 AM

ummmmmm... from people who can't "see" ???


Blinded by whom?? A woman who isn't real?



I don't think so.


Silken, perhaps you should reread my OP.



'... or is there only a "real opinion" of a "real woman"?'
 CompletelyDone
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 55
A real woman
Posted: 10/11/2009 10:29:10 AM

Blinded by whom?? A woman who isn't real?


People can be "blinded" by many things... not just by someone else. They can be so blinded by their own needs that all they can see in any woman, are the qualities that answer those needs. Does that make a woman who doesn't meet your particular set of needs "UNreal"???

I don't think so.
 BlueEyes1712
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 56
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A real woman
Posted: 10/11/2009 11:12:10 AM
Depends if she has had plastic surgery, which would make her the plastic bionic women
 blondiez1970
Joined: 9/13/2009
Msg: 57
A real woman
Posted: 10/11/2009 1:59:51 PM
I looked passed his faults and flaws, I loved him for him, I pushed his ideals and provided him with the strength to become who he wanted to be, and what he was passionate about in life and what he wanted to do for his life career. I asked for his help in the kitchen, so we could spend some of what little time we had together and talk, laugh, talk about our week or weekend, work, friends,family, kids etc.... He enjoyed cooking some of his favorite recipe's, but longed for my cooking and take a dish to work to share with his co-workers. I made family/date night every friday to go out to dinner and do something fun, since that was the only day/evening we all had together.

I changed my work hours to accomodate his and our kids schedules to avoid paying for day care or in home babysitting. I was involved with his interests and activities. I encouraged him to to be his best. I made sure his work clothes were always ready, his lunches were packed, I had dinner started before I left for work at 5 am so he could eat before he left for work in the afternoon, I made sure the bills were paid and the checks were ready for him to sign too so I could mail them out. No matter what he needed, he did not need to wait until he had the time to get it, I made sure he had it. I always invited his friends over, especially those going thru rough times and during the holidays. I would make dinner and drive 45 minutes to bring him his lunch, or pick him up to go have dinner together during the week. I would drive to his work for what ever he needed. I even looked passed the fact my car needed work done to it, but he never had the time because he brought his buddy's or his bosses vehicles home to work on, wash and wax too. I looked passed that my glasses were a few years old, because he still had the 80's frame and he would be up to date with contacts or different frames. I looked passed that I was the one who would miss or leave work early for the kids, doc appts, their activities etc, because he made more monay than I did, and it wouldn't be worth him missing that time on his pay compared to mine. I gave up the thought of a nice honeymoon weekend with just him and I, instead we went with friends from our car club to a car show in ohio at the old A&W strip and shared a hotel room with 3 other couples.

I made sure I got up a bit earlier than my alarm at 4 am to greet him when he walked in the door after work to share myself with the man I loved. I didn't ask for much in return, just his time and appreciation. We had a balance of equality at first, then that balance switched and I was alone. I wasn't one to argue. I tried to get him to see and understand how things were changing between us, and that would lead to arguements.

During the pine wood derby, my son waited for that door to open and see him walk in, since he was to take an extended lunch break to be there for him, instead my sons expression turned to sorrow, and became cold towards him after he heard the reason why he could not make it to his pine wood derby race, it was because his friend needed to go to the scrap yard and took a 3 hour lunch to do so. His priorities soon became only his. Our friday family nights became just me and the kids. Me waking up at 2 am to greet my husband, only to find myself sitting there and waiting for him to walk in the door, and laying on the couch as he was sneaking in right before 4 am, before my alarm was to go off reaking of perfume and alcohol.

I gave him my love, devotion and appreciation. I would call if I was going to be late, but never got that in return, no matter how many times I asked for it. The more I asked for his time, the less I got. We saw each other daily, when he got home from work at 2am or so, and when I got home from work before he left for work, which was about 10 minutes. Fridays was his day off, after I got home from work, it was our time, our family time. Sat-Sun I saw him for about an hour after he woke up and left for work. I did everything I could to make our marriage and family work, when I realized I was the only one working on it, it was time for me to just work with me and my kids. When I realized his cheating on me, it was time to say good bye to something I thought would last our lifetime.

What I have learned, is a real woman will not give up who she is to accomodate her man. A real man will not give up who he is to accomodate his woman. A real man/woman will not expect one another to give up who they are, will not expect one another to be soley the giver or taker.

As a single mother, I still put myself last, it is something women are nutured to do. We take care of everyone else first, our home, family, lover,friends etc. The hardest part for a woman is to learn balance and do somethingfor herself for once. I did that when I filed for the divorce, I was thinking of me and my happiness and state of mind and what kind of life my kids would of had and their ideals on how relationships should be if I would have stayed.

So, it doesn't matter how perfect you think you are, it is how the other person sees you, appreciates you, loves you and respects you, looks past your faults and flaws, understands you, accepts you for you, and is willing to go to the ends of the earth for you. Someone who wants you to be you, who will encourage you and your ideas, someone who has a voice for themselves, someone who will stand up for themselves and you. Compassion and understanding, humility and most of all respect for who you are and how good you both can be together and accomplish in your lives together.
How you bring the best out in each other, and fall in love with more and more as each day passes.

To me it doesn't matter if I can cook, clean, laundry, pay bills, manage a household,kids schools, their sports and acitvities, organization, working, fix my furnace, change an electrical outlet plug, fix the leaking pipes under the sink, change my own spark plugs and other work, change my tire, do the lawn, patch a hole,use joint compound, lay a roof......None of that makes you perfect, it is how your partner sees you and how each of you sees each other and your relationship.
 PANDA423
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 58
A real woman
Posted: 10/11/2009 7:31:15 PM
I don't think you shouldl catch hell...me I happen to agree...these are just come of the things that describe not only a real woman, but a good woman!
 PANDA423
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 59
A real woman
Posted: 10/11/2009 7:34:36 PM
am so going to catch hell from my gal pals that are libbers on here, but here goes... my thoughts on a 'real woman'...

A real woman understands there are things that men are just better at doing and she appreciates those skills.
A real woman takes the time and care to primp and pamper herself, with scents in the right places to entice her man.
A real woman takes the time to show her man that he's loved, cherished and appreciated for being a man.
A real woman is not afraid to be barefoot and in the kitchen making a good meal for her man/family.
A real woman doesn't think of herself as better or worse than men, just different, and she appreciates those differences.
A real woman can get the job done, but prefers to massage the shoulders of the man that actually does the job.


I agree these are just a few of the things that make a real woman and a good woman.
 2Irish1
Joined: 9/1/2008
Msg: 60
A real woman
Posted: 10/11/2009 7:38:06 PM
Crap...we're all such a paradox of mixed opinions, emotions, wants, don't wants....and nearly everything else...my real woman...realizes this and accepts that at times...we don't have to see eye to eye.
 ceaser_73
Joined: 11/7/2008
Msg: 61
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A real woman
Posted: 10/11/2009 8:00:04 PM
To define a real women in todays society, INDEPENDANT. Says it all, she knows what she wants, doesn't play all the games and hide behind the sisterhood of women crap. Didn't have to marry a guy and take him for everything he had to make her life better, did it on her own instead. Her only friend is the guy she is with at the time, don't fall into the stigmas and mantras, and doesn't buy those crap magazines at the checkout lines and the only time she gets on the computer is for monthly bills. (lol)
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 62
A real woman
Posted: 10/12/2009 4:02:26 PM
Real women aren't shaped like beachballs

Real women come in all shapes and sizes.They know that this is also true of real men.
Real women inspire those around them to be better people. Or perhaps I should say they try their best to; some people just haven't a clue.
Cindy O
 2Irish1
Joined: 9/1/2008
Msg: 63
A real woman
Posted: 10/12/2009 4:18:34 PM
Let's try this again...a real woman...is any woman...they end up being part of the bell curve of women...most good...some bad...some great...

But what a real woman is is a very nebulous question...and the answer is indivual to each person...

I think that threads like this will not have the same life-span as a women's polarizing thread....because women tend to be more vocal in the threads...and there's a lot more of them here then men...sigh...
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 64
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A real woman
Posted: 10/12/2009 4:24:03 PM
'real' woman? 'real' man? so what's requested here is an ideal. that ideal is different for each of us. here's mine in brief.

have your emotional sh|t together. be in integrity. give more than you take. laugh more than you cry.
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 65
A real woman
Posted: 10/12/2009 6:24:27 PM

Still men are not that interested because they are looking for someone who is a very close version of Barbie (even though they will not admit this to themselves


I disagree. Barbie Doll women are like Vegas. A nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there.
 bubbasjutebox
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 66
A real woman
Posted: 10/12/2009 6:40:53 PM
a real woman is someone true to herself.who is as beautiful inside as out. a real woman doesnt worry about material possessions or how much like a ken doll her man is like. now i understand attraction is 7o% of finding a man or a woman,but to put so much emphasis on outward apperance is just trivial.takeing the time to find out who a person is without first culling them for appearance is what everyone needs to do. then we would be able to build better relationships on better foundations for a lasting true love. at least thats my oppinion.take it or leave it.
the first part of this can go for a man too.
 boinkboinkboink
Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 67
A real woman
Posted: 10/12/2009 7:52:43 PM
I would argue that there are remarkably few women who are truly real. The equivalent statement can also be made about men. A few of you have scoffed at this thread. Well, for those of you who have done this, you are exposing your confusion and your missing sense of reality. Very few seem to have that ability to sit down and think. It is so much easier to be critical.

For example, one person expresses a statement about size. The other attacks this response, but in so doing reveals their own weakness - their sense of self doubt, lack of self-confidence.

How many people do you know are consistently confortable with who they are, their role in society, their place in society as a specific gender ( man or woman or in between ;-) ;-) ) ? How many people throughout their life, actually maintain this comfort? Very few. Most of us are in a constant state of change. Frequently, this is why relationships fail, because one partner or the other lose their sense of who they are.

To me this is the essence of finding ourselves as "real men" or a "real women": the degree with which each of us is truly comfortable with ourselves, our role in society, and our role as a specific gender. And, it isn't static. Each of us from time to time lose that reality.

So here is the next question: at any given time are any of us truly and consistently real, or are we constantly phasing in and out of reality?
 tbuddha
Joined: 2/28/2005
Msg: 68
A real woman
Posted: 10/12/2009 9:00:17 PM
A woman with reasoning skills and a sense of accountability and responsibility would be nice, instead of the giant sense of entitlement. Let's just start with that. I think you have to go to South America to find a woman like that these days, somewhere where they don't have TV.
 Taztiger72
Joined: 2/26/2008
Msg: 69
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A real woman
Posted: 10/12/2009 9:02:00 PM

And as far as I know, we are ALL human.


But some Men and Women forget this and act like A-Holes and Expect to have only the very best - Princesses and Princes - you know 99% of the World is Unacceptable to them...

 Taztiger72
Joined: 2/26/2008
Msg: 70
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A real woman
Posted: 10/12/2009 11:45:28 PM

Can you say hypocrisy?


Now you are learning.


Women judge men - differently from Men.

Men for the most part - either are or are not interested.


Women want total perfection


Petite Women who are under 5'5" want men who are 5'8" or taller and they say men have Napoleon Complexes....


Because a short man can't protect me - why don't you ask a tall man who is dangerous in a fight....Right....this ain't a Football game....
 boinkboinkboink
Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 71
A real woman
Posted: 10/13/2009 12:55:52 AM

I suppose that would depend on your definition of "real" or "reality."


Go and read the "real men" thread. That is of course where my own thread began.



.... ironic ... Just had to make an observation.


Observation? Ironic? It is a 'handle', silly lady. I'm not trying to attract a woman on here. Please read my profile. Actually, I find it more ironic that you are trying to find 'reality' in a 'handle'. This is very much like judging a person by what they wear. Are their clothes truly who they are?



I don't really have any physical traits or characteristics on that list


Yes, that is interesting. Perhaps reality isn't defined by what we see as some have suggested.


state of things as they actually exist


State. Actual. Existence. Makeup. Size issues. Boob size issues. etc. etc. As women compensate for their respective issues, aren't they modifying their current state to hide from their "actual existance"?
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 72
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A real woman
Posted: 10/13/2009 4:23:28 AM

Women want total perfection
Really? That's interesting... considering there is no such thing as perfect it would seem that relationships are futile, yet you are still here looking...

Petite Women who are under 5'5" want men who are 5'8" or taller and they say men have Napoleon Complexes....
First of all, 5'5" is just about average height for a woman, not petite. And what's wrong with a woman having a preference in physical stature for a man? I'm 5'8", I like to wear heels and to have a man I'm with still stand taller than myself. The taller the better!!! There's not a damned thing wrong with having a preference for attraction... and damned right it comes down to a primordial desire of feeling protected, actually being protected is a completely different ballgame.

Doesn't make me any less real than the next woman that dates a man that is her height or shorter...
 Taztiger72
Joined: 2/26/2008
Msg: 73
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A real woman
Posted: 10/13/2009 11:03:33 AM

There's not a damned thing wrong with having a preference for attraction... and damned right it comes down to a primordial desire of feeling protected, actually being protected is a completely different ballgame.


So you are saying it's perfectly OK to just discriminate over Height - even though it's not a valid reason....


You know how tall Napoleon was?

5'9"



The man who coined the Napoleon Complex was 6'2" the Duke of Wellington - so any man shorter than him has a complex and not worthy to be trusted....
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 74
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A real woman
Posted: 10/13/2009 11:11:21 AM

So you are saying it's perfectly OK to just discriminate over Height - even though it's not a valid reason....
Who says it’s not a valid reason? You? Furthermore, to refer to someone’s dating preference as discriminatory if you don’t meet the criteria is absurd.

I’m allowed to find someone attractive and I’m allowed to find someone unattractive… so it is perfectly ok for me to not want to date someone shorter than say… 6’2” tall or for any other reason.

I won’t date a stupid man either… if you feel that it’s discriminating against the morons of society, then so be it… I’m discriminatory.

Real women like really tall men...
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 75
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A real woman
Posted: 10/13/2009 11:33:48 AM

Real women like really tall men...

Well, this real woman likes em shorter than that and discriminates against men over say, 6'2", because she is either discerning, is pandering to the 5'8" guy with moose balls OR got tired of dating (literally) armpits.
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