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 PiggyT
Joined: 9/14/2009
Msg: 42
Dating a 27 yo girl for several months but she won't have sexPage 4 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

If she's 27, and she can't give a decent handjob, and you can't relax and get off, then you both have issues. I could give a handjob at age 14


Oddly enough, that's when I learned to give myself one too...

On topic.

This sucks. She doesn't, that sucks. How many sucks does it take to get to the centre of a blue ball??
 NYCman530
Joined: 7/6/2009
Msg: 43
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Dating a 27 yo girl for several months but she won't have sex
Posted: 10/12/2009 7:48:15 AM
You've gone out with her for several months. I could understand it if you'd only gone out with her 2 or 3 times, but this isn't normal. Obviously, it seems the chemistry isn't mutual on her part. Express to her how you feel about her and this situation, and if she doesn't change her tune, it's probably time to move on.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 44
Dating a 27 yo girl for several months but she won't have sex
Posted: 10/12/2009 7:50:42 AM
It never ceases to amaze me that people can get up close and personal with each other and yet not talk about getting up close and personal with each other. If you can't, neither of you should be having any kind of sex. Talking about it's half the turn on. Cripes, couples ask what kind of food you like before they take the time to cook you a meal or take you out for one - I can't see the difference with sex. Sorry, you're doomed if you can't do other things with your mouth with this woman...like talking.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 45
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Dating a 27 yo girl for several months but she won't have sex
Posted: 10/12/2009 7:57:52 AM
You're 23, so that explains the thread. Blue balls is why God gave you a hand, either do yourself or stop seeing the chick.


This sucks. She doesn't, that sucks. How many sucks does it take to get to the centre of a blue ball??

You slay me Piggy, and Chameleon, yup, if you can't talk about sex you shouldn't be having it.
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 51
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Dating a 27 yo girl for several months but she won't have sex
Posted: 10/12/2009 8:43:59 AM
The Op hasnt said one thing about building a future with this girl. Nor about actually caring for her. Maybe she feels he is just after sex. His post portrays that.
I would say your lucky she does the hand thing. I dont think I would, unless all the other ducks are in a row. Committment, love, trust, respect. Remember those? Some women need all that before intimacy. Having another person inside you is the most intimate you can get.
You are trying to coerce her, OP. Guilt trips. Blaming her for your BB's. She is not responsible for your sexual gratification. Perhaps she knows your online looking for women? She should be the one to walk away from this one.
 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 52
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Dating a 27 yo girl for several months but she won't have sex
Posted: 10/12/2009 12:07:59 PM
Wow, it's just like you're married!!!!


 Greyfeld
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 54
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Dating a 27 yo girl for several months but she won't have sex
Posted: 10/12/2009 3:34:36 PM

I don't think I can say that I love a girl before I know that we are sexually compatible


This line is very very telling.

So basically, you're a pig.
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 57
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Dating a 27 yo girl for several months but she won't have sex
Posted: 10/12/2009 6:31:55 PM
Some females dont have sex with every dog that comes down the road. I think in animal terms that is a biatch in heat.
I agree, PIGGGGG.
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 59
Dating a 27 yo girl for several months but she won't have sex
Posted: 10/12/2009 7:49:34 PM
If she has a problem with sex because of her religion or her high morals, what does she tell herself that makes hand jobs and cunninglingus ok? And if she doesn't feel she knows you well enough to have sex like a normal person but considers baring and touching each other's kibbles and bits comparable to holding hands? and this makes her still a virtuous woman in her mind? or is it because she needs the "ring" before she lets you have it? I'd be careful of that one. She sounds like a master manipulator with a master plan, but if she was clear about that from the start, you should have believed her. Ask yourself why you're still with her. If the ONLY reason is that she's smokin hot, you're thinkin with the wrong head, and she probably KNOWS you don't love her too.
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 60
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Dating a 27 yo girl for several months but she won't have sex
Posted: 10/12/2009 7:59:32 PM
Could there be an STD that she isn't telling you about? Going down on her is pretty intimate, and by no means avoids transfer of STDs. She has a hangup with the whole thing, possibly due to a bad experience in her past. If she won't share with you, then she needs counseling.
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 61
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Dating a 27 yo girl for several months but she won't have sex
Posted: 10/12/2009 8:07:49 PM
OP is looking for a date on this site. No love for the girl he is trying to seduce. Player. User. No wonder the poor girl wont play his games.
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 64
Dating a 27 yo girl for several months but she won't have sex
Posted: 10/12/2009 8:25:32 PM
She's selfish for not giving YOU a BJ (oral)? That is gross! Maybe your the selfish one. If she doesn't like oral, that is her perogative.
 chickenman189
Joined: 10/12/2009
Msg: 77
Dating a 27 yo girl for several months but she won't have sex
Posted: 10/15/2009 5:00:35 PM
I wish all girls were like you. I think they all do like sex but a lot of Aussie women like it on their terms only .....selfish
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 80
Dating a 27 yo girl for several months but she won't have sex
Posted: 10/15/2009 6:04:07 PM
Yes OP - You are being played. She needs to be less ambiguous about her "principles". You need to ask her straight out how she feels about you. If she gives you some story about how she cares so much, ask her why she's not ready then. You need to sit down and have an adult conversation with her instead of just rolling around in the back seat groping each other. Let her know you are moving on with your life if you can't progress to the next level.
 Thorrin
Joined: 10/13/2009
Msg: 87
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Dating a 27 yo girl for several months but she won't have sex
Posted: 10/22/2009 2:59:34 PM
You got a head case on your hands man. Dump the broad and get on with your life. Why the hell would you want to mess with someone else's mental hang ups or games. You know full well that this game of hers isn't going to end well for you, so why waist your time and effort. Don't tell me you want to lock yourself into a relationship with someone like this. Problems from the start is not a start at all.
 anunu
Joined: 10/21/2009
Msg: 91
Dating a 27 yo girl for several months but she won't have sex
Posted: 10/27/2009 11:36:06 AM
You sure she is not 18
This doesn't make sense
4.5 months and no sex! I couldn't survive
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 98
Dating a 27 yo girl for several months but she won't have sex
Posted: 9/14/2011 2:46:47 PM

I am glad I "waited" it out. Hope someone can take something from my story.






Wow, a happy ending. Cool. And good for you.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 99
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Dating a 27 yo girl for several months but she won't have sex
Posted: 9/14/2011 3:40:49 PM
Sex, oral or otherwise, is in fact important in relationships. Anybody who states otherwise is delusional or frigid.

So is communication.

Those who are apprehensive about it have their reasons. Could be trust issues and/or history of abuse. Health reasons, like hormones or stress/depression can also hinder desire.

Sometimes that works the other way around, too, and they can throw reverence to sex out the window and do it with anything that... well I'd say moves, but that's not always realistic.

If you can cajole information out of her about it, then you can decide if this is something you can live with. Cuz you will be living with it if you stay. It's rare for someone who is as uptight about it as she seems to be, to ever become a sex kitten.

Her actions now are telling you of your future with her. Do yourselves a favour and cut to the chase, post haste. You're wasting each other's time if you don't.

That said, people who love sex need to be with people who love sex. Leave the unhealthy ones behind, unless they're willing to fix it which (often) means opening up to a professional. Not something everyone is cut out for, unfortunately.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 100
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Dating a 27 yo girl for several months but she won't have sex
Posted: 9/14/2011 3:44:43 PM
Aw, OP, thanks for sharing that!

I do love to hear about happy endings, especially here on POF, where so many people are so bitter and frustrated about the dating process.

I'm also happy that you were able to work out your issues. Communication really IS the key, and it'll help me to keep that in mind.

Good luck to you both!
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 101
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Dating a 27 yo girl for several months but she won't have sex
Posted: 9/14/2011 3:46:01 PM
Clearly I am too lazy to read an entire thread. And oh, look, it was created in 2009. XP

Glad things worked out for ya.
 MiaCat74
Joined: 3/3/2011
Msg: 102
Dating a 27 yo girl for several months but she won't have sex
Posted: 9/14/2011 4:04:01 PM
Thankyou for sharing the end of the story
congrats to both of you
 Blue-Eyes-Shine
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 103
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Dating a 27 yo girl for several months but she won't have sex
Posted: 9/14/2011 4:14:39 PM
The OP updated in message 112.

Congrats!! Good things are worth waiting for.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 110
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Dating a 27 yo girl for several months but she won't have sex
Posted: 9/16/2011 2:18:06 PM
This is where the old saying comes in..."Never judge a book by it's cover"

Good to hear a happy ending.
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 114
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Dating a 27 yo girl for several months but she won't have sex
Posted: 9/22/2011 2:06:26 PM
Theres no right or wrong with this type of thing, but there is most definitely a right or wrong for YOU

No amount of politically correct postulation about why she is like this alters the fact that you dont seem happy with it

Although I am surprised that this obviously bothers you but youre asking a bunch of strangers for advice on a site like this one of all places for help

You should already know what her reason is, whether its religious, issues pertaining to sex in general, previous bad experiences or her own views and desires conflicting with social pressures, a lack of interest in sex full stop or her just being one of those who tends to use the carrot of sex to either keep someone interested to as leverage in a relationship or some other reason

But whatever it is you know know the reason, what is (according to her) likely to change over time and also be bearing in mind that with time its highly likely that the frequency and restrictions on sexual contact will reduce

And then decide if you want to continue with this particular woman or find someone that is more comfortable with their sexuality, sex in general and has a more compatible apetite and idea on time scales etc

I have to admit reading this kind of took me back to my early teens where a successful night was a hand job, damp fingers or oral (in either direction). But from maybe 16 onwards I've never encountered anyone else like that including any of my long term or serious relationships the longest of which was 16 years

So its not like you HAVE to put up with someone who is frigid or has issues about sex as the only way to have any form of decent relationship, and if your views on sex, sex drives and comfortability with your sexuality is mismatched then the chance of a decent relationship is going to be pretty slim anyway

And even for her, chances are to someone like that she will see you as being "obsessed" with sex even by just having a healthy interest in it. So she would probably be far happier dating a bloke with an equally low interest or importance relating to sex, someone from the god squad or somene with similar issues

Its not a matter of right or wrong, just compatibility
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 127
Dating a 27 yo girl for several months but she won't have sex
Posted: 10/1/2011 1:17:50 PM
A happen ending with a "happy ending"!! Congrats
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