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 tinkerbellcgy
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 118
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Show some intelligence when writing someone.Page 6 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

if the man's introductory note is a nasty, vulgar or repugnant one, he will not get a reply.

I often read of other female posters receiving, shall we say "unsavoury", e-mails but I honestly have to say that I have never experienced this. I feel fortunate that the e-mails that I do receive have been nothing short of polite and courteous, albeit some lack any form of substance with which to render an exciting reply.

So the way I figure it is that I am either incredibly lucky or I am so repulsive that no one would bother to take the time to send me a nasty, vulgar or repulsive e-mail.
 farceur
Joined: 5/3/2009
Msg: 119
Show some intelligence when writing someone.
Posted: 10/14/2009 8:14:26 AM
The few laughs are perhaps what the guys have read and so when they respond, it's not to the woman's profile as much as he just noticed what she posted in a thread when she was goofing off. Look at this thread as the juxtaposition of wanting to be taken seriously as an intelligent woman and also wanting to have low brow fun using short comments. Does the guy respond with a one-liner here because it seems that you like to joke around and keep things short, or does he refer to your profile that is longer, well written and seeming to ask for some kind of intelligent response? By "you", I don't mean you. I mean generally if there are two sides of a mouth being spoken from, to which message should a reply be addressed?

What bugs me about this thread is that it comes from the school of thought that a woman posts a profile then sits back and trashes the responses she gets. I have no quarrel with the way things are. I just wonder about being oblivious to the premise being problematic to begin with, on top of which is placed this unattractive tendency to criticize and correct.

The woman says,

I'll show up then as men reply I will mock them and explain to them why they don't interest me.

The man sees her doing that and says,

I can understand where you're coming from but now that I have seen you in action my expectation is that any communication or subsequent relationship operates this same way, so that's not any fun and I am warned off.

How can complaining about the flaws of men who approach you be anything but unattractive to the men who would be intelligent enough for you to enjoy talking with? It sounds like a version of the game, "Prove to me you are worth my time". Or maybe it is just that as women sit by waiting they like to share their frustrations and complaints.

I wonder about these forums, how many times a woman who is complaining she can't find a man, by waiting to be found by him, had that man come along and see her in the act of complaining, and decided she was a complainer and kept looking, when if she had been showcasing some more appealing aspect of her character he might have been interested.
 tinkerbellcgy
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 120
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Show some intelligence when writing someone.
Posted: 10/14/2009 8:41:59 AM

I wonder about these forums, how many times a woman who is complaining she can't find a man, by waiting to be found by him, had that man come along and see her in the act of complaining, and decided she was a complainer and kept looking, when if she had been showcasing some more appealing aspect of her character he might have been interested.

There is a lot of wisdom in that sentence. I don't think I would restrict the meaning of it to online fora though nor would I restrict it to one gender. For instance, how many times have you found yourself being within earshot of a stranger's rant about something or other and then find yourself really happy that you don't have to deal with that person in real life. I have experienced this many times whether it be the customer obnoxiously complaining to the cashier about the price of an item or the passenger boarding a city transit bus giving the driver the H*ll because he is late arriving at a designated bus stop or even observing a fellow driver screaming and yelling in the throes of road rage. The people in these examples are the types of people make me very glad that they are not a part of my real world.

What and how you post in the fora do get noticed by others. One's writing style is very much a key to your personality. I honestly have to say that majority of the e-mails that I receive are from those who have read something that I have posted in the fora and wanted to acknowledge that post and/or proffer a compliment.
 strollinbella
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 121
Show some intelligence when writing someone.
Posted: 10/14/2009 8:47:03 AM
To farceur. More than once in this thread I have pointed out that this is not a gender-specific phenomenon. Nor have I ever indicated that I sit back and critique/bash any messages I do receive. There are at least two men who have posted in this thread with whom I have communicated by email, and in one case, by phone. They can tell you that I have never, ever bashed them or given them reason to believe that I do not consider them intelligent people.

In my defence, at least one of the relationships I've had as a result of communicating with a man here on POF has been because I sent him a first contact email.

Please continue with your welcome criticism, and witticism. I look forward to your future posts, here and elsewhere in the forums.
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 122
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Show some intelligence when writing someone.
Posted: 10/14/2009 8:59:33 AM
"""I wonder about these forums, how many times a woman who is complaining she can't find a man, by waiting to be found by him, had that man come along and see her in the act of complaining, and decided she was a complainer and kept looking, when if she had been showcasing some more appealing aspect of her character he might have been interested. """

Speaking only for myself, I do try to remember that anything I post will exist until the day the internet vanishes. I don't believe I have ever mocked anyone, with the exception of some of those who send the 'wanna f***?' messages. I figure they've earned it through their own actions - but then, I'm no one's idea of perfection myself. Add to that, the few profiles I've used as examples have been on other sites, not POF.
 dave91741
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 123
Show some intelligence when writing someone.
Posted: 10/14/2009 9:07:08 AM
So the way I figure it is that I am either incredibly lucky or I am so repulsive that no one would bother to take the time to send me a nasty, vulgar or repulsive e-mail.
LOL I could have written this post myself. This is exactly my experience!


This was my story ^^^^^^^^^^
Untill I got it ...my first ......."unsavoury" e-mail---> "Up Yours Old Man !!!"
I was bewitched , Bothered and Bewildered ???.....
I was flamed by a guy ..... MVM thanks for the laugh ..
Do you write all the Guys are just me ??
 explorer731
Joined: 12/4/2008
Msg: 124
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Show some intelligence when writing someone.
Posted: 10/14/2009 4:25:06 PM
The man sees her doing that and says


Geez, I like her tenacity, her spunk and what she says I absolutely agree with. I'm going to have to say Hi to her and let her know how I feel.
 Brownlady1953
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 125
Show some intelligence when writing someone.
Posted: 10/16/2009 10:12:53 AM
I give leeway, because everyone is not a journalist...but if he starts off writing in a crude fashion.....delete, delete, delelete, delete!
 strollinbella
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 126
Show some intelligence when writing someone.
Posted: 10/17/2009 3:56:18 PM
So true, brownlady1953. I, for one, am certainly not looking for an intimate encounter. Sure, intimacy within a relationship is wonderful, but to have it with a virtual stranger is just sex...without the emotional connection.
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 127
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Show some intelligence when writing someone.
Posted: 10/17/2009 4:51:22 PM
^^^
On a cold night, it could be just the thing the doctor would prescribe.
Or it could be the result of a desperate action after reading all the nasty comments in the Truth In Advertising thread.
 strollinbella
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 128
Show some intelligence when writing someone.
Posted: 10/17/2009 5:17:57 PM
Hey, TryAgan, a snuggle with someone special on a cold night is a very nice activity, lol!! Haven't seen the Truth in Advertising thread.Will go have a look right now.
 StevieCashmere
Joined: 4/22/2009
Msg: 129
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Show some intelligence when writing someone.
Posted: 10/18/2009 5:55:15 AM
The Attitude of Intelligence of themselves will allways shine through quite quickly

~sc~
 MondoVman
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 130
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Show some intelligence when writing someone.
Posted: 10/18/2009 6:14:49 AM

Msg 72: BTW I would LMAO if I got a mail that said "UP YOURS OLD MAN "
That would be sooooooooooo funny .

Felt happy and almost privileged to honor Dave's request, and admittedly no hesitation. How often does a sincere and well worded invite occur (non-invite according to Dave, but I beg to differ, your Honors) to flame a fellow POFer?

Fellow forumites, me thinks Sir Dave is deserving of more. *wink

P.S. Not all the Guys (don't get a swollen skull just yet)
 outofthedesert
Joined: 6/3/2008
Msg: 131
Show some intelligence when writing someone.
Posted: 10/18/2009 6:41:24 AM
On another site, 2 girlfriends of mine and I received the same copy and paste email from the same man on the same day. We then composed an email and all three copied and pasted and mailed it to him at the same time. He responded back with another copy and paste to all three of us at the same time. We then composed another and sent it. He then wrote all of us the same 'do you have another profile on here with different photos'. We all wrote back--no, but friends do compare notes about copy and paste . He wrote back to all three of us 'lesson learned'.

Be original and remember to whom you wrote what. If all the women live in the same small town...they just may know each other.
 Wanton Calf
Joined: 7/29/2009
Msg: 132
"I heard a fly buzz when I died"
Posted: 10/18/2009 7:11:31 AM
I checked out your profile expecting to see an example of original thought.
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