Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 MC_Leftie
Joined: 11/15/2008
Msg: 74
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.Page 2 of 25    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25)
Wow, checking out these forums is a real eye opener! I had this impression that we had evolved past all this stigma... I guess not all of us have! While saddened, this will not take the wind out of my sails!

But I do feel compelled to share a few points from my perspective:
Really the issue of support depends on who makes more money in the relationship, so let's not get carried away with these generalizations! Not all single mothers are low income earners, and there are instances where a woman is required to pay child support to an ex for children that are not her own. (Justice is no longer so gender biased, perhaps it is time you considered aligning your views with the times?)

While I'm not suggesting that anyone enter anything in life blindly, to think that following your heart might be tumped on the basis that a relationship might impact you financially should it not work out in the long run is just a sad sign of the materialistic society we live in. It should not be about the money.

I would hope that in real life, decisions on love would be made on the basis of how connected you feel with someone - not whether they will add or detract from your bottom line. That said, I am not naive to the fact that money plays a major factor in the majority of divorces.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 75
view profile
History
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 10/16/2009 6:12:57 PM

And for the love of God people!! What did Mac N Cheese ever do to you?!?!? Leave it alone.


we had mac n cheese tonight, with dinner. mm mmm mmm , lol
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 77
view profile
History
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 10/16/2009 8:40:59 PM
Wow!

[Men shouldn't fear taking responsibility of someone elses child. It makes them a better person in my eyes.
In my eyes it makes them look like a chump.]

I believe that my stepdad, the only father I have ever known, would roll over in his grave (and I miss him so, as does my Mom).

Your eyes are your own, and you are certainly entitled to your personal preferences. Truth is, no self respecting single PARENT (of either sex) would want to date someone who has this attitude, but loving a child who is not yours by biology doesn't make you a chump, it makes you a caring, giving human being with a heart, capable of fostering a relationship with the offspring of an individual whom they love. "Helping" a single parent doesn't have to mean spending money, responsibility isn't merely financial; it can as simple as offering to drive one of the children somewhere so that the parent can drive another child somewhere else, or stay home to clean or cook dinner, or even to get ready to spend an evening alone with you, when their days' work is done.

Statistically, the majority of us will end up single parents, whether we like it or not. Fear it? Absolutely, but please take care not to judge what you are likely to become.
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 79
view profile
History
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 10/16/2009 8:49:26 PM
[I see a lot of this from many (not all) different single moms... about the kid's father being a 'loser' in one way or another..]

[I also see a lot of this from single fathers about the kids' mother being a loser too.]

Truth is, the real "loser" is the child. The child is the ONLY one in the equation with no choice at all. Unfortunate that so many fail to acknowledge this. People make mistakes, people change & mature, relationships fail, but the relationship between the parent & their child is made by the parent, and is the responsibility of the parent, both parents, to foster the parent/child relationship.

notfrau's words are wise.
 hungry_joe
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 81
view profile
History
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 10/17/2009 10:14:54 AM
Okay As a single Dad I have many titles.
Dad, Brother, Student, Son, Veteran, Employee, Boss, etc.
So a single mother has multipule titles also. Point is she's a woman, treat her as such.
Once things get more serious then you have to take into account other considerations reguarding kids. However, this would be true if she were preggers. So, let nature take its course. Have fun.
Gadget out.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 84
view profile
History
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 10/17/2009 11:22:48 AM
matariki, jenn
Hpotter will never respond to your post. He is a shallow, know it all, loser that has no life other than to put down single parents for behind his screen. He isn't here to discuss a topic, just to spew his moronic drivel to make himself feel all high and mighty
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 86
view profile
History
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 10/17/2009 1:00:53 PM
church, we've agreed and disagreed but this time I agreeand it should be common sense that these are red flags
 hungry_joe
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 88
view profile
History
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 10/17/2009 4:11:25 PM
Clickon that says a lot of the single mothers on this site huh? At least the ones that post on the forums, that they can change for the better. I will go back to the purpose of this post, which was to ask if there were some speical rules that the new guy has to follow when dating a mom. I go back to remember that she is a woman. Treat her with kindness, and respect. Listen. If you do this with a mom or any woman you'll be a happy man.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 89
view profile
History
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 10/17/2009 7:26:15 PM
click-on , damn I can't even agree without you wanting to argue. red flag, play book call it what you will, I WAS AGREEING. just go have another drink and calm down
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 90
view profile
History
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 10/17/2009 7:57:16 PM
tito how do you figure you are a kind guy? when all we here from you is hatred and poor shallow opinions. if scraping the barrel gets a single parent then they missed you cause your at the bottom of the barrel IMO.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 92
view profile
History
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 10/17/2009 8:26:49 PM
I agreed with this in an earlier post, and it should not be gender specific, it can go both ways:
 hungry_joe
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 94
view profile
History
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 10/17/2009 8:40:01 PM
Really Future Marriage is the answer. There will be no more single parents. Hmmm I missed that in the brouchure at the lawyers office when I was getting divorced. Let's not have a polyanna view of the world please. Yes two committed adults makes life easier, but sometimes this has to be done in seperate homes. Oh as far as the other post about women showing pyschotic behavior before becoming pregnant. Not the case, her pychosis didn't manifest until she was pregnant. Funny things those hormones. Anyway she's living better through science and everyone is have there happily ever after. I'm just looking for my princess, then the fairy-tale will be complete. Have you seen any towers with women with really long hair in them lately? Or a woman that can make clothes from straw? I don't want one that is so fussy that a pea will disturb her sleep that just won't work with how I sleep.
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 95
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 10/17/2009 9:48:25 PM

Single mothers call their boyfriends suckers behind them because they feel they cant find chicks without a kid. Nobody likes someone who scrapes the barrel


I have never ever ever called the man that married me as a single mother, nor my boyfriend a sucker, period. Both wonderful men with many awesome qualities that certainly did not need to scrape the barrel. How incredibly offensive ro assume we do not love and respect our men.
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 98
view profile
History
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 10/17/2009 10:51:15 PM
[Single mothers call their boyfriends suckers behind them because they feel they cant find chicks without a kid. Nobody likes someone who scrapes the barrel]

You are a completely ignorant sob, tito. Arrogant, too. As you have never been a single mom, how could you possibly know what single moms call their boyfriends? Anyone who would agree to even meet you, after reading this post, is surely scraping the bottom of the barrel! How would you feel if anyone posted in a similar vein about young black men?

I am a single mother, not by choice; I was married nearly 20 yrs. I have only had one "boyfriend" in the 5 yrs. since my marriage ended who has even met my children. Fortunately, he was evolved & mature enough to realize that shit happens, and that my status as a single mom says absolutely nothing about me as a person.

Never before has a post so angered me! You're an fool! I pray that you are impotent.
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 101
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 10/18/2009 12:02:42 AM
Wow, I never knew there were so many negative male opinions about single mothers. I can understand many of the points made, but it's still disheartening. Some of the comments are so harsh and bitter that it's shocking to read. It would be such a perfect world if we could all follow some of the "before you have kids with someone" guidelines posted here, but people make bad choices more often than not. It's just sad that single mom's get labeled as being undateable much of the time. I'm sure there are plenty of us single mom's out there that would be a man's dream come true, but it is what it is...
 StevieCashmere
Joined: 4/22/2009
Msg: 102
view profile
History
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 10/18/2009 5:39:02 AM
There are 'rules' !?!?!?!?!?!
And 'unofficial' ones........!!!!!!

~sc~
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 118
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 10/19/2009 3:14:00 PM
(taken fab-mom) Hahahaha!!! Aww. Love the Tito logic. Please elaborate on why being divorced is respectful (to you) or how you think being a single adoptive mother is ok. And does your respect extend to single men as well or do you pat them on the back and understand because after all...they were just trying to get to the p*ssy before it got all stretched out.Nevermind that it was their kid that supposedly stretched it out and ruined it for all other men.


WOW!

Is this chick ever nasty!
 read2009me
Joined: 8/18/2009
Msg: 121
view profile
History
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 10/19/2009 6:44:56 PM
Lets be positive here and give some useful advice. We single moms are no different than any other woman. We want respect and would love to be in an open and honest relationship. We like the door opened for us. We like to have small moments of peace and quiet. Treat this woman with dignity and respect and she will do the same.
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 123
view profile
History
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 10/19/2009 8:54:58 PM
[I take it like water off a ducks back!!]

You said it best... if it quacks , oh excuse me... OINKS like a .....

I have read several of your posts in several threads, and, sweetie, you really ARE clueless (even though I fall into your category of "acceptable" single moms!). Come back in 10 years; should be interesting.
 _SYN_
Joined: 9/20/2009
Msg: 125
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 10/19/2009 9:44:10 PM
m_church is right about the financial risks in that last scenario, but what if, despite all that he's getting himself into, she is the woman of his dreams, and he loves her with every ounce of his being. Should he turn tail and run because she had a past and children that resulted from it? What if, despite all the added costs and stress, they could be truly happy together? Wouldn't that be worth the risk? I guess I'm a hopeless romantic who thinks that true love can conquer all.
 sammylg
Joined: 12/20/2006
Msg: 133
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 10/20/2009 9:25:22 AM
Just a piece of advice OP. When you start a thread seeking advice, don't begin with a negative comment that alienates the audience you are seeking advice from.

Did you really need to write down that you didn't date single moms because they were so clingy?
 gman0782
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 136
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 10/20/2009 5:30:55 PM
I think the last part makes complete sense.. Same for single fathers as I am one...
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 141
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 10/24/2009 11:51:36 PM
I have a free and easy, carefree lifestyle. Never married, no kids, not having any, and probably not getting married either. My rule for dating single moms? I wouldnt if I were you. But realize your fishing pond has been reduced dramitically because of that choice.
(never bitter, just seasoned)
 AmandaNicole23
Joined: 10/2/2009
Msg: 142
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/20/2010 12:53:48 AM
OMG!!! I am so sick and tired of people bashing single moms, when did you become so superior??? You might want to walk in our shoes for a little while and get a little dose of our reality.
1. We do not want you to support our children.
2. We can do things on our own.
3. Our children do not NEED you.
4. You should feel GD lucky that we are even taking time out of our day to have anything to do with you.
5. We are not a bunch of gold diggers.

My advice to men... get over yourselves, because a good mom knows she has everything she needs right there in that little world of her and her child. WE DO NOT NEED YOU, and if we choose to let you into our lives, like I said you should feel lucky.

Women are single mothers not by choice, women are single mothers because it seems to be so easy for a man to get up and leave a woman instead of growing a pair and owning up to his responsibilities, so the men on here bashing single mothers are just making themselves look stupid. Single mothers didnt get themselves pregnant, I know I didnt crawl ontop of myself and get knocked up, a man did that and he has refused to take part in my childs like so I guess that makes me less of a person and less deserving of a good relationship, and I guess that just makes me a manipulative gold digger. Well you can kiss my a$$!!!!!
 JLopez81
Joined: 3/15/2010
Msg: 145
view profile
History
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/20/2010 9:03:05 PM
Now, same guy moves in with a woman with 1 boy 1 girl....
3 bedroom apartment... or a mid to large size house....
full size car or van....
driving kids to friends, after school events etc...
food for 4
2 showers, 2 baths
laundry for 4 people....
other utilities for 4 people...
go away for weekend, larger 2 or 3 bedroom motel...
dinner for 4



I have to disagree with you on some of this. Laundry doesn't neccessarily mean tons of loads. I have a kid and we manage to do maybe three loads a week with both of our clothes for the entire week. And as for the car issue...not so much a full size car, My baby sister can fit herself, her two kids and a couple friends in a compact car just comfortably. Having kids doesn't neccesarily mean bigger things. As for the rules that were posted, I say HOO-RAH!!! Most men do look down at us but you know, when the men ran out just shows who the stronger link is in the world. Women.
Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  >