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 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 146
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The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.Page 3 of 25    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25)
No better example of the attitude that makes men flee from single mothers exist than that of message #150....the perfect model for all male nightmares in regard to single mothers both real or imagined.
 wcis4u
Joined: 9/7/2009
Msg: 149
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/21/2010 11:08:45 AM
You are dating ME, not my children. That means that our time together will be our time together. When/if we get to the point of doing things with my children, then we'll have to figure that out at that point. You will still have time alone with me.


Seems to good to be true and you know what they say about that. I've never been able to have a date with a single mom.Not that I haven't tried but it just never worked.Their phone was always ringing because their kids were arguing and that's if the date even happened at all.Usually it was they would cancel because of something with the kids and then expect me to call them to reschedule a date.Shouldn't that be their responsibility. The ones that would really piss me of were the ones that wouldn't even call to tell me,they would wait til I got there and then tell me. How disrespectful and inconsiderate !
 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 150
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The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/21/2010 11:31:06 AM
Taken,as a woman you understand message 150...you are not a man so i guess you can't understand the other side of the issue and claim that men are the first cause of all of this...if only men would do this or that is a common female response,if we would only see things as you see them and go along all would be well.
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 152
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/21/2010 5:01:56 PM

And that's another fallacy. Ok, so she puts the needs of another before her own. How exactly does it benefit the man, since he's not the "another" whose needs she's putting before her own? Besides, THEY ARE YOUR CHILDREN, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO.........

^^^ From what I've gathered in that statement you are talking in circles. Which also means you're contradictng yourself. But it also points out that you have no concept of priorities in respect to the children - be it a single mom, single dad or married couple.

Imagine dating a childless woman who has a self-centred attitude and most things revolve around her wants? There are tons of them out there.

How easy. "He's not sacrificing himself for me and my children. He's selfish". Actually it's YOU who is selfish,

They are both selfish.
Anyone who seeks "sacrifices" rather than "compromises" is not worth the effort. But too many people overlook that aspect of the relationship. Most failed relationships of this nature fail because the word "sacrifice" is used in the argument It usually indicates someone is "taking" and someone is being "taken"...... but nobody "gives"

Actually it's this type......attitude what makes a lot of men run away from single moms.

For me, it's the moms who complain they are viewed negatively because they are single moms. I figure if they have such a poor impression of themselves and their situation, it's not my fault. So, I'm not going to deal with the damage done by the a$$holes they've permitted to poorly influence their emotional and mental state of mind.

Been there, done that..... there's no reward.
 AmandaNicole23
Joined: 10/2/2009
Msg: 154
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/21/2010 6:57:12 PM
Im not at the end of my rope and I am not a model for a crazy woman either. My problem is this... I read these forums and there are so many people talking crap about songle mothers but when it comes to single men raising their kids they act like they need a freaking medal. I take full responsibility for my child and for my actions that got me pregnant, I do not try to blame everything on my daughters father, but by the same token I am not going to say its all my fault. Im just so tired of people saying that single mothers are gold diggers, crazy, and irresponsible. A single parent, whether male or female have the hardest jobs on the planet and it seems that if it is a single mother she gets absolutely no respect.
 SweetyLamb
Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 158
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/22/2010 10:19:44 AM
All I have to say is...wow ...

Singling out a specific group of people reminds me of someone oh what's his name....

Wait a sec...I'm working on it...

Dang, he killed off a whole group of people, too because he didn't like them...

Oh yeah, it was a bunch of jews...WWII...

Geez...his name was...

Hitler!

I haven't seen my ex in...years, nor does he correspond with me...so, no fear of meeting him there for whoever wanted to actually go out with a single mother...reading this part of the forum makes me think that it's going to be tough.

I work for what I have; be it a relationship, school work, house work...everything in this life time requires work. The drama "caused by single mothers" stems by what has happened to them. A lot of women can be ignorant, selfish, self-centered gold diggers that like to play head games but the same can be said about men. I've seen a few profiles where men have said that they were masters of head games but have now decided that it was time to settle down...

Just because I have a child does not mean that I do not have time nor will have time to work on a relationship. I can write in the forums right now because my housework is done and my son is still in school. He has his own bed that he sleeps in at night. If I go out on a date, I can pay for my meal or my son's meal if it's that much of a big deal. That's even if my son goes with me because I have a few sitters that I can rely on. What I won't do is commit myself to a relationship where I need to rub your shoulders, your feet, your back while I'm trying to fix dinner, help you do your ironing and at the same time, drop all of that for a couple hours of bedroom time.

What people have to realize is that we are PEOPLE, each having our own feelings, thoughts, we enjoy doing our own thing...sometimes it's nice to do the our own thing with someone else. Much of a single mother's time is devoted to her child(ren) ..unless they are the evil little dictators looking to ensnare her next victim and sitting at the computer all day playing with men's heads.

I can understand why some men wouldn't want to go with single moms. That's great more power to you. I really hope you find what you are looking for but to continue a conversation like this is quite pointless. If you choose not to go with a single mom, then don't but don't make a fuss in the forums because you make that choice.

Single moms, you should stop addressing these sort of posts, you feel like you're being attacked, fine. However, attacking back is not going to stop the argument from continuing. If everyone did that, peace would evolve and we will all be one with the universe
 SweetyLamb
Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 160
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/22/2010 11:33:29 AM
*Now where did I put that shovel?*

Well, yes I could have written it a different way but is that what my post was about? However, I do not prefer to have to pay my own way. I will if needed. Preferences and willingness to do something are two different things all together.

Like I said earlier, that is not what my post was about...
 SweetyLamb
Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 163
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/22/2010 11:54:32 AM
ROFL Jenn

mchurch I also said that I have a list of babysitters. I prefer the man to pay because I am old fashioned like that. I am not asking for anyone to pay my child's way. I take good care of him on my own, thank you. If he did come, I would pay his way. Depending on the progress of the relationship, if the man offered, fine. If not then fine.

Once again, my original post was not about this :P
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 165
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/22/2010 1:49:14 PM

I prefer the man to pay because I am old fashioned like that.

Of course, of course.
Everyone seems to have old fashion ways when it comes to paying. Oddly enough, if a man says he wants an old fashion relationship many women jump up and claim the old fashion ways were sexist and demeaning towards women; they want their independance.
Go figure.

If he did come, I would pay his way.

The old fashion ways dictate that women didn't bring their kids on dates because you weren't supposed to impose on the man - it gave him the wrong impression about you.
 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 167
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The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/22/2010 5:10:59 PM
Well my young friend you are wise for realizing that women pick and choose which aspects of "equality" and "liberation" they want and that suits their purposes at any given time.
 AmandaNicole23
Joined: 10/2/2009
Msg: 169
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/22/2010 8:41:25 PM
Okay M_Church... you stating that in order to be in my shoes would mean you would have to make the same "mistake" that I have made, well I dont see my child as a mistake and I would imagine that no one else on this forum believes their child is a mistake either. You see this is the problem the majority of you on here that are blaming single parents for being single parents sees our children as a mistake, we never have and we never will.
 ~Stacy F.~
Joined: 3/18/2010
Msg: 174
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/22/2010 9:23:35 PM
This very definitely says it all. Or at least a good vast majority.
 My I
Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 176
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/23/2010 8:24:29 AM

You see this is the problem the majority of you on here that are blaming single parents for being single parents sees our children as a mistake

Women sometimes take things too personal. I know of many pregnancies that were unplanned. Some call them mistakes. It's not a reflection on you, as a mom, it's more of an opinion on your situation. Women may call it an unplanned pregnancy whereas men may refer to it as a mistake - it's the same thing.

Using "mistake" in reference to the kid of father you had with the child is another story. I'm not going there. Some people deliberately date jerks as an inner form of rebellion, incognisant abuse, whatever.



It's all about personality. I think some single moms forget to focus on the reasons men won't date them as opposed to whining and blaming the "single mom" thing. Yes, some don't want to date single moms. But that doesn't mean a thing. We all are allowed preferences..... single moms have preferences too. Why some moms want to make a personal issue about not asked on a date is beyond me.

Some moms are great. They're great with their kids, they're great with their friends, they're great with a potential partner. These type women are usually the silent, more happy moms who do get asked out frequently because they are a joy to be with. I've dated several and I certainly don't regret it.

Some women aren't a pleasure to date; they don't make good friends either. Having children seems to make these women less desirable as a friend, let alone a date, because they seem to have a chip on their shoulder.

In truth, maybe the kids aren't the problem, for the most part.
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 184
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/23/2010 4:45:42 PM

Sure some may fit your freakish picture, but you would be suprised how many don't...just you haven't dated a woman who changes your views and whose kids would open your eyes to how things can be.


I don't think any guy here has ever said that every single mother exhibits every single negative trait that has been mentioned....

.... but, if you think about the great number of men who have had many negative experiences dating single mothers in many situations, there can only be one explanation...

... about 5 women in North America have been dating all of us all at the same time....

.... busy chicks, I'd say.....

 Ayesha40
Joined: 2/2/2010
Msg: 188
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/23/2010 10:57:47 PM
I am walking in your shoes, and I would never date a single mom.

rock hunter, your profile says you are a single dad! Why should you deserve a woman with no children? Wouldn't that poor woman have to deal with your ex? Who the hell are you to criticize single parent women when you are a single parent yourself? Why should a childless woman put up with your kid? Care to tell us why your kid is better than anyone elses?
 queenybear
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 191
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/24/2010 6:19:49 AM
I totally agree with you "taken fab-mom" 110 % !!!! I might quote you!!!
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 195
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/24/2010 3:14:49 PM

(tiggerkaz37) M Church I am sorry to hear of your bad experience ok. You need to stop thinking that makes you the authority on what single mum's are like. Throuh your experience with one single mum.

Whats to say that even if she hadn't had kids to as you put it, split you two up, that something else may have done.


He's relating his experiences. It just so happens that a lot of men can relate.

WODEWICK!!!
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 196
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/24/2010 3:26:05 PM

(tiggerkaz37) You want to be number one to the woman. .so surely it’s only fair she should want to be your number one LOL


But, wanting something, doesn't mean you automatically get it. A single mom can only make one person her #1 (actually, nobody can make more than one person their #1...)

WODEWICK!!!
 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 199
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The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/24/2010 5:02:08 PM
One of the problems is that today kids run their parents world and everything,including adult relationships are reduced to the level of adolescent reason and logic..who says kids have a very good perception of character,a kid might not like you because you side with his or her mother that they can't have any more candy or they have to do their homework or go to bed on time ....yeah that's good perception alright....they say the same thing about Dogs...i suppose if your Dog didn't like a man you wouldn't be interested in them either....more evidence,as if any is needed,twisted as it is, that dating a single mother can be a nightmare.
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 200
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/24/2010 5:28:23 PM

He's relating his experiences. It just so happens that a lot of men can relate.


Most women seem incapable of understanding this no matter how often men say this: "We KNOW not all women are the same. We KNOW not all women demonstrate all of these negative traits. BUT, most of us men who've dated single women have had bad experiences directly related to they, the women, being single mothers."

And, again, either there are MANY single mothers who have contributed to how men feel about dating single mothers OR there are a very few single mothers who do one fvck of a lot of concurrent dating and relationships ....

 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 201
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The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/24/2010 6:02:25 PM
Perhaps it is that there are many men who, needing to find someone to blame other than them self & the woman they were with, find it easy to single out one simple and easily targeted aspect of their ex partner. The truth is, although it is difficult to date a single parent, a person is not defined by the fact that they have given birth. If you find a woman selfish, guess what? she is selfish, and the odds are great that she would be so even if she hadn't given birth. Given the fact that the majority of people (men & women alike) tend to repeat the same mistakes, it is likely that those men chose another selfish woman. As a matter of fact, odds are that even when they dated women who weren't parents, those women were selfish, too (or liars, golddiggers, etc.).

Many of us are not incapable of understanding that one's attitudes are colored by past experience, but many parents do have an issue with people who attribute every negative characteristic or bad experience to the fact that someone has a child.

As far as kids running the household, I don't disagree, but it's not because kids are natural leaders, it is because of parents who are either too lazy to parent, or are immature enough to act as if they were their child's peer. Becoming a bit too prevalent today, if you ask me, but again, not BECAUSE of the fact that anyone is a parent, rather because of the type of parent one chooses to be, indicative of the nature of the person, not the process of having given birth.
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