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 carilyn33
Joined: 3/15/2010
Msg: 210
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.Page 4 of 25    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25)
For one... I have never heard of a man who has to pay child support for kids not his own, just because he dated their mother....(law or not... I wouldn't ask that of any man)
Two...Calling children "accidents" caused by sex is very juvenile.... There is this new thing us real women like to call "birth control".
Three... The ex! If he is a good father, yes he will be around and yes, that will never change... get used to it.
Four...If she has a hot little body, she has probably worked very hard to keep it, and i would bet she has a wonderful mind and personality to match...
Basically, I am saying that single mom's are just the same as any other single woman... We just have children. And children aren't our baggage!!! they are our accessories.
If they come first, its because they are a priority!!! And they should be! Any woman who does not make their child a priority, isn't worth dating anyway!
Thanks ;)
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 211
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/25/2010 4:46:20 PM
(tiggerkaz37) Whats to say that even if she hadn't had kids to as you put it, split you two up, that something else may have done.


... and who's to say that if a frog had wings, he wouldn't bump his a$$ every time he jumped?

Holy Moroni, m_church wasn't talking about what might have precipitated his break-up in some hypothetical relationship: he's telling us what did cause his break-up, in a real-life relationship. Since he was there, and you weren't, I think his views have a little more relevance.

WODEWICK!!!
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 212
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/25/2010 4:46:28 PM
Riggin-ratza-fratzin double p0st...

WODEWICK!!!
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 213
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History
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/25/2010 8:08:12 PM

Holy Moroni, m_church wasn't talking about what might have precipitated his break-up in some hypothetical relationship: he's telling us what did cause his break-up, in a real-life relationship. Since he was there, and you weren't, I think his views have a little more relevance.


I don't mean to "pick on" m_church by any means, but the truth is he's telling us what HE blames his breakup on. Sure he was there, but there were others, and we haven't heard from any of them.

Sorry, m-church, that really isn't about you or your experiences, or your posts. The point is that we (whether here in the forums or in real life) often hear only one side of story. Most often, as well, it is their truth, although not necessarily the truth according to all involved. That's why there are at least three sides to every story.
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 215
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/26/2010 7:30:34 AM
I think the problem with alot of guys and why they take out their frustration on single mum's is that alot of them have the old cave man mentality.




Oh, christ!

You know a thread has hit the wall when the women-folk (I was gonna say broads, or Harpies, but that would be disrespectful, apparently ) have nothing else to contribute but to call men cavemen, to say men are jealous of and intimidated by strong, independent women...

... rather than acknowledge that many single mother and other women present negative, undesireable traits.

Short version: Women are perfect, men are flawed.

....sheesh....



Yup, there are a couple of boneheads around of both sexes, but the "caveman", "men are intimidated" arguments are just so old and so fvcking stupid.

Cheers
 Tealwood
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 216
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/26/2010 9:42:06 AM

If they come first, its because they are a priority!!! And they should be! Any woman who does not make their child a priority, isn't worth dating anyway!


The words of a single mother.....you are second or third in line in terms of importance...

So why then must some guys ???? get over it?

I only get aggresive to the minority of men (and it is a minority) that have such narrow minded attitudes...created no doubt by their own bad experiences granted...but hey they need to get over it and get on with life !!!


They simply might not feel it is worth the trouble of being placed down the pecking order....and reality is some are not worth the added trouble.

Single mother with children also bear finacial implications and anyone who does not step forth with open eyes would be a fool.


Its called defending ourselves LOL


Hey no problem with that. But then telling what is the truth for some is equally acceptable and why is it that single mothers have problems accepting the truth and resort to whining about how it is unfair or how the guys just do not understand what they are missing out on....because believe me some have been down the already used road and are not interested in some of the issues...or feelings of entitlement that some seem to suggest just because they are a single mother.....just see profiles of single mothers...still students...working part time...not enough child support...not enough time spent by the ex...not enough assistance from the ex...having a an who does not do what they want with the children....a litany of constant complaints that one hears from single mothers is a warning sign of why one might avoid at all costs single mothers....if one wants to actually have a stress free relationship...that is unless you are willing to agree with anything and everything she says and suggests?

But it is after all a matter of personal choice is it not?

But then reality is as one gets older the dating pool does get restricted and you have fewer options...and one might suggest you have to not lower your criteria but adjust.
 nota1nitestand
Joined: 3/6/2007
Msg: 217
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/26/2010 10:10:49 AM
It's never easy dating in general, for you dating a single mom , I admire you for it. It's not easy dealing with another mans children. I speak from my own exp. dating men who had never dating a single mom before. Always be who You are, dont let know one change you. Communication is a must with her kids, regardless of there age. It will let her know that you are truly sincere about giving it a try. When she is overloaded with stress from her kids just listen. Correcting her kids early on , I would hesitate. Make sure they respect you always thats a must. You can suggest things to her, like what if you tryed this with your kids, or maybe, lets sit down and ask them why or why not they did or didnt do as they asked etc. Build a friend ship with the kido's too, if possible . Each to there own. When our kid's like the guy we date, we really like the guy, it makes a better bond, when we can be comfortable with our guy becasue he is cool with the kids. . Patience, patience, and patience. lol Single moms, as well as single dads, are used to everyday struggles. So fitting a man in or a woman in there life is stressful too. So take it slow, keep it simple, best of luck. Hope this helps ya, Good luck. I think it was great of ya to even come on here and look for advice. Take care
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 218
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/26/2010 1:48:37 PM

Yeah the cave man mentality is old hat..and its about time men got out of it lol.


Well, actually, I'd think women would WANT a guy who's much like a caveman....

.... bring home the food, provide for all the woman's needs, keep the bad creatures at bay, maintain the home while she sits around fulfilling herself with "her" kids.

.... sounds like what most women want, isn't it?

I think it's women who need to get over themselves more than the other way 'round. Women seem to think a guy should just suck it up and accept his place at the end of the line and hang around until the special, princess-like, single mommy deigns to acknowledge his existence.

Sorry, more and more men are getting wise to that attitude. Mostly, they've lived it or have a buddy/male they know who's been through it. Too many women seem to think that it's only the guy who needs to change his attitude to make a relationship work. It also takes a women, mother or not, to make some adjustments as well, something few women seem willing to do.

And, no one said that all single mothers are single because they made mistakes. Many (most?) single mothers do present a lot of challenges that just are not worth dealing with for many (most?) men.

It's just how things are. Get over it.

 hannity
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 221
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/26/2010 4:37:15 PM

georgie..I only get aggresive to the minority of men (and it is a minority) that have such narrow minded attitudes...created no doubt by their own bad experiences granted...but hey they need to get over it and get on with life !!!


Exactly what do you mean by they should get over it and get on with life?? Do you really think that just because men who you believed to have these aggresions and narrow minded attitudes about single women with children are somehow stagnant in their abilities and accomplishments and cannot function properly because they do not want to date single moms? Because we chose to not date single moms we are "acutally" getting on with our lives...dating, working, traveling, putting money aside, and doing it in our best interest, not for some other guy's brat. Believe me we would fare in life just fine, without single moms as significant others and won't lose any sleep over it.
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 222
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The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/26/2010 5:36:00 PM
The truth is, Tealwood, you & I are on the same page, as your last two sentences sum it up nicely. I do, however, find this a bit disturbing:

The words of a single mother.....you are second or third in line in terms of importance...

So why then must some guys ???? get over it?


I would hope the words you were referring to would be the words of any (decent) PARENT, regardless of marital status or gender.

"get over it" doesn't mean that anyone should change their mind in regards to dating single parents, but it does mean that they should stop judging & putting down others because of this status. I have said many times on these forums, and I firmly believe that who you are, the core of your being, doesn't change by virtue of having a child, The selfish remain selfish, the kind hearted remain kindhearted, and golddiggers remain golddiggers. I'll never understand the need of some to find a reason for every fault they find with someone else. It is what it is. Yes, get over it & move on, with your prerogatives & preferences, but please, lose the judgment calls where they don't involve you.
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 223
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The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/26/2010 8:16:29 PM
Yes I'm jealous of not taking on the role of looking after the last guys sex sessions results and will certainly jog on, leaving the guy without any pride or honour to take on a single mother while disgracing his family by settling for feces that other men just step in and walk away.


I'll never understand the need of those who seek to put down others who disagree with them. I am quite sure that my stepfather, who I love & who would likely rise from his grave to knock you out for this asinine comment, would agree. Sex session results? Really? The children of a marriage, embarked upon with expectations likely similar to your own, are simply that? You are pretty much scum. See, you don't have to date single parents, and the majority of us are mature enough to deal with that, but to look down on those who ARE able to embrace the family of the one they love makes you extremely unattractive, to anyone who has not only a heart, but a brain. There is no reward for being inciteful rather than insightful. Have you explored your issue which leads you to feel this way about any child that isn't yours? Once you are married, a parent, and divorced, do you believe that your offspring will be reduced to "sex session results"? How sad. Please don't procreate.
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 225
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/26/2010 9:30:15 PM
It may behoove some of the men posting to this thread to ask themselves one simple question...."If I would never date a single mother, why am I participating in this thread?" What exactly is your motivation? You obviously get "something" out of posting....I am so curious what it is you get from it. I won't hold my breath waiting though because I suspect you aren't brave enough to be that introspective.....


Well, personally, I participate 'cause it's fun watching the little ladies stamp their ickle feetsies when they read something they don't like....

... and, I think many women need a reality check 'cause too many of them seem to think that just because they are female, because they are mothers, they are special and that they deserve special treatment not to mention that they seem to think that their shit doesn't stink.

Neither women in general nor mothers in particular are special or deserving of special treatment or privilege.

I, for one, have dated many single mothers. I had an 8 year marriage with one. I would date a single mother again....

... but I'll never live with one again.

If I were ever to get into a long term relationship with a single mother, I would not want much to do with her kids, just as I would not want to involve her much with my kids.

.... so, it's ok.... breathe soul, breath....



vvvvvv

Interesting how WOMEN are often accused of "shaming language"....what about language that infantilizes women and is designed to make light their opinions?


Well, some of us have been borrowing some of the tactics from the Women's Handbook of Dating and Relationships...

... and, you're right, it's not nice and doesn't feel very nice, does it?

Cheers
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 229
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/27/2010 8:31:02 AM

Jealousy

Yes I'm jealous of not taking on the role of looking after the last guys sex sessions results and will certainly jog on, leaving the guy without any pride or honour to take on a single mother while disgracing his family by settling for feces that other men just step in and walk away.


What a cruel demeaning thing to say......about anyone.

I was a single emother when i met my husband, and he most certainly was a man of pride and honor. I would love to be HALF of the person he was. He served for 21 years on the police force keeping criminals off the streets of our communities. He volunteered his time and money to the children of the local domesteic violence shelter.
He was educated, intelligent, compassionate, caring, a good husband, father, and ANYONe who knew him personally will testify to what a awesome friend he was.
He treated me well, and loved our kids very much.
When he died, the whole community felt the loss, and still does.
His family loved me AND the child i brought with me when i married him, and they still do. I took marriage vows, "Till death do us part", and stood by my vows.
I hadnt plannbed on being a single mother a second time around, but i am PROUD of myself for staying strong and raising my kids through an almost unbearable tragedy.

I will go ahead and toot my own horn, i think (KNOW) that i am a strong, amazing, capable woman for keeping it together. There were days i didnt think i would make it to the next, and nights when i felt isolated and alone. Im proud of ME. I know that when my husband looks down from wherever he is, he is proud as well.

Im not feces, i am just a mommy that loves her kids and does my best to take care of them and raise them.
 Tealwood
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 231
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/27/2010 11:05:43 AM

[Doormats are made of rubber for flexibility too....]

In my experience guys who are doormats have allowed themselves to be….. are wimps and don’t want to make decisions or take control and they whinge that they feel like door mats….. get a back bone lol

As you stated back on page 9....tigger....

I would imagine a woman who had some backbone and was actually truly independent self assured woman would not give a rats ass about what some neanderthal might suggest? One would perhaps utilize your own suggestion....get a little backbone yourself and why would some generalization actually hurt...unless you know there is some truth to it?



I think the problem with alot of guys and why they take out their frustration on single mum's is that alot of them have the old cave man mentality.

They seek a woman who will actually NEED them and feel threatened by independent women who can actually cope fine on their own. Not only that but they can also look after children without having a guy around 24/7. Whereas they struggle to look after just themselves LOL


So unlike the single mother who is a student and expects the guy to pay for dates since she is old fashioned...((read cheap or a user??)) at least it seems you work and cover your own debts.

But as a single custodial father....it really is not that difficult as i figure something harder would be trying to manage a relationship putting the effort it should require and raising children.

But feel free to resort to the image that you are their to provide for the guys...truth be told a number of guys i know actually cook better than their wives do.

My own view is for single guy in his early 20's the worst thing he could do was to consider dating a single mother. Unless he is willing to be second fiddle and have the baggage and extra consideration that is involved with children and ex relationships.

But then equally I understand the position of woman who are empty nesters when they see me as still raising children or now teenagers. As one stated with some vehemence " i am not going back there again" But then she was enjoying her time now not having to juggle or worry about the issues around young teenagers....so like the scenario of the dating the single mother dating custodial fathers can have the same drawbacks or poor rewards in what the relationship might offer.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 232
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/27/2010 11:28:34 AM

(emmmjay) Why are you laughing? You don't laugh when you accuse women of using this kind of crap ...


On the contrary: one can practically HEAR CB braying with laughter when he sees some over-the-top remark, either by a single mom, or an "I'd NEVER date one!" guy.

Jack
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 233
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/27/2010 11:31:28 AM

Why are you laughing?


... 'cause I like laughing, especially at people who have no sense of humour and those who take life too seriously....


You don't laugh when you accuse women of using this kind of crap, but when YOU use it, it's funny and harmless?


... yup, pretty much....

Other than that, all I have to say to your little foot stamping blather is: blaugh, blaugh, blaugh....

Have a GREAT Saturday....

 hannity
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 235
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/27/2010 4:19:44 PM
It may behoove some of the men posting to this thread to ask themselves one simple question...."If I would never date a single mother, why am I participating in this thread?" What exactly is your motivation? You obviously get "something" out of posting....I am so curious what it is you get from it. I won't hold my breath waiting though because I suspect you aren't brave enough to be that introspective.....


I post on these types of threads because I like to stamp on single moms entitlement mentality....Wheter it's regarding paternity fraud "I got away with lying that little Johnny was yours for 12 years....... so what if you aren't the father, you thought you were so pay up", to your rants and raves about how men are immature, and selfish for not wanting to date you. Real men have something called "pride", and we're not giving it up to clamor over another guy's needy children.

Remember...This is an open forum where a question has been asked. All voices will be heard, including those that you may not like. You will hear different thoughts, ideas, and opinions. It is quite frankly stupid of you to think other wise. So if you can't handle it, move to Iraq where your face will be covered and your mouth will be shut.
 SweetnessInFlorida
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 237
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/27/2010 6:52:52 PM
I have met a few childfree people with time constraints, not a lot of flexibility, and financial responsiblities. I have been with men that had those issues more than i did, though they were childless, they had consuming careers and bills to pay, just as a lot of adults do.
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 238
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/27/2010 7:00:48 PM

Who cares why someone won't date me, they won't date me so the why is rather irrelevant, don't ya think?


Well, not really....

... let's say no one wanted to date you because your ass was, like 2 axe handles across, you have no boobs, no teeth but you DO have halitosis, and you're mangy....

... I'd say it's kinda relevant to the guys you're trying to hook up with at least....

... though, true, maybe not to YOU....


....I'll take quality (subjective as it is) over quantity any day...what about you?


I prefer large quantities of quality, truth be told....

 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 239
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/27/2010 7:10:18 PM
Oh and didn't you know sweetnessinlove that it's in vogue for the single guy to live with his parents..meaning he doesn't have the same financial responsibilities as us single mums..has more disposable income to frit away on some 42" plasm for his room, or that Motorbike that will make him feel like a 20 year old again... oh and has more free time because his mum washes his clothes, irons them too and does everything bar wipe his arse for him lol....




... ah, you're just JEEEEAaaaaaaaaloussssssss......




vvvv:

lol no so not jealous...


.... yeah, yeah, sure, sure.... I'm not believin' it for a second...

... I've read the plethora of posts from the chicks wanting a wife or mother to look after them....

Cheers
 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 244
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History
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/28/2010 5:47:15 AM
People should raise their kids first and then date,if you say you have needs and must have them met then you are placing yourself ahead of your children.I have never known a woman in my life that did not want to be first in my life...never,anytime they sensed that anything or anyone came before them all hell broke loose,ansd that includes the three women i dated that had children,they wanted what they were not willing to give.I understand when a woman says that her children come first in a practical sense,their needs and such,but when she tells me that i must win and maintain their constant approval to keep her i know that the best thing for me to do is leave...there is nothing there and i'm leaving nothing behind but trouble and misery.
 theredtiger
Joined: 8/17/2005
Msg: 246
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History
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/28/2010 8:46:11 PM
did you ever consider that men make single moms? I was MARRIED when I decided to have children. Owned my own home business and more at 27yrs old. You cannot control your partner wether married or single. Well he got hooked on gambling and we lost everything, Well, I like most single moms are left with the kids, very seldom do you see the dad take the kids or take care of them so who is the bad one? I was only left with my 2 boys in diapers still no home no more credit. To make the story short ,Their dad is totally out of the picture, not a thorne in anyones side and I have got back on my feet and fully support my kids and my self. I'm not looking for a sugar daddy just a soul mate like most of us are. I think you are just looking for a hook up and thats why it wouldn't work for you? Never judge a book by it's cover I say. I would actually like to find a single dad who lives with his kids so were on the same page. Good Luck to you.
 Tealwood
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 250
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/29/2010 6:08:29 PM

Unfortunately there are guys on POF who are just looking for casual no strings relationships. It's a fact of life and it isn't easy for us single mums to spot them..as they often even set their preferences as looking for long term....


Please...so when are you going to bring out your badge of victim-hood?


Guess what guys it takes 2 to tango


And the number of times sex was made available on the first or second date indicates that the casual no strings relationships are easily found on both sides...I learned something a long time ago....you have nothing that many others have...the only difference is some feel they have something that is unique and special....when in reality is is not anything that many others have..its just some know how to use it better...


Bringing up kids alone is probably the hardest job on the planet


Actually I have found it far easier than when I was in the marriage?

I might suggest a far harder thing is working at making a relationship work where you do things for your partner and make concessions to make your relationship work while working and also raising your family.

But it does add to the myth of victim-hood suggesting it is actually hard to raise children alone!!!


Hello guys look in the directory under escort..or go find a prostitute..but OMG you'd have to pay for sex then..heave forbid.


There was one old guy who once suggested you had two routes to go...you could pay for it up front and have the spice of various flavours...all that left when things were over...or you could pay...and pay heavily later when taken to the cleaners...and the bloom often was long gone......

But the reality is you pay either way...and one is far more expensive and far less rewarding....


I think the reason we single mums get a bashing in the forums is that we are on a whole savvy to the minority of guys who wish to use women for sex...and rather than them seeing themselves as the waste of space they are.. they choose to hurl verbal abuse at single mum's.


For the same reason some like to perpetuate the stereotype of the deadbeat dad...to often you find fathers not supposedly doing what they should for their children....just like the stereotype of single mothers not working and living off the avail of society or the ex...but then...the US census also backs up with statistics that custodial men are more likely to work full time while raising children.....than custodial woman....by percentages of course....so is there then some truth to the single mother myth of looking for a fee ride?

But the ones looking for sex...please it goes both ways....you really need to thaw out a little!
 Tealwood
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 252
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/30/2010 3:01:12 PM

Tealwood...

sometimes it is actually the bloke who doesn't try at making the relationship work...so please don't think that only women are to blame for a relationship breaking down.


would never suggest this as not accurate....it goes both ways


Also not all women are easy and some of us don't want or put ourselves out there to be used.


But there are plenty that do and really....who cares.....??? It goes both ways so why bust a nut over some who are there asking when there are plenty who are willing?

Now if one articulated right from day 1...I am not easy... but they all say that even though the panties may be peeled off the first night....so us guys are not able to know who is or who is actually honest? But again what is the issue here!



It really grates me when people lump all single mums in one pile.


Now look who is calling the kettle black...

So some may be ???? responsible as opposed to allot of guys...so perhaps guys get tired of hearing woman lumping us all into one pile?


Lastly there may be lots of Dad's who take responsibility..and my 1st ex and the Dad to both my sons ; is a guy who has taken responsibility and he is a great Dad.
However there are also allot of guys that do not take responsibility for their kids...instead they revel in being single again and live the high life. Without a second thought for their kids...



Guess what guys it takes 2 to tango... and single mums are single mums coz there was some guy..just like you that came along and used them... and you wonder why alot of single mums are so bitter.


It takes two to tango and two to make a relationship work. I think you will find that just as many woman end a relationship as men do....Now making a relationship work also is not doing what the woman says or demands either!

You want to to understand bitter why not look at some fathers who have worked and provided for their families only to have the children ripped from their lives and post marriage life the ex wife still rules or manipulates what or how you can have the children.



Here in the UK we have an organisation called the CSA (child support agency) and they are a government backed organisation who find uncustodial parents and get them to take responsibility...rather than the tax payer (which includes me, as i work fulltime) totally supporting some of those kids.


as they should...but why not do a little reading...and at least in North America...you will find that the majority of custodial fathers do not collect cs.....many myself included were basically told custody would not be contested if we did not ask for cs...and 3 different lawyers all suggested or counselled keeping a low profile and going along with it...that would also make some bitter but I see it as a sound investment and a far better situation for one to be in.

Single parenthood is easy.....

You may think you can share yourself around but the more considerations the less each consideration is given.

as to working full time...I applaud you...but review each and every single mother who posts and you will see a trend of single mothers with children still students or homemakers which then begs the question who is paying for them to be part time workers...or full time students...or full time mothers...and there is the reinforcement of the stereotype...heck we have a single mother from western Canada who was chortling about the spousal support she receives along with the child support!

Also review the American Census report and compare custodial fathers who work full time compared to custodial mothers..and again the stereotype is perhaps reinforced.

If there is comparable data available in the UK I really would be interested in knowing....


and when your child gets to be 18 (like my eldest is) and that offspring says to you that they feel that they have turned out good because of how they were raised


You should be proud and it was a great deal of effort...and then just think how much more work and effort it would be to raise the child and also put in the effort and the commitment to your partner....rather than simply expecting them to be there at your whim?
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 253
The unoffical rules of dating a single mother.
Posted: 3/30/2010 3:07:23 PM

You are acting like 3 year olds having tantrums lol

I didn't see any tantrums...

Basically, if a woman has a kid, some people just don't want to get involved. It's their taste.

As for others, they don't want someone who works 60+ hours a week or someone who works full time and has full custody of a child. In both cases, guy or girl, they understandably prefer more time if they're going to be actually dating and not having some side-fling or something.

Life is about compromise, time has to be juggled and it's about planning, organising and balancing priorities.... Sure it's not easy, but sorry life isn't easy LOL

Exactly ... and that's why single mothers who have a lot of other stuff going on have to accept that some men will choose not to begin dating them because of it, and hey, life's not easy, right? Nobody's obligated to date anyone else.

I know plenty of women that understand that NO ONE can have anyones undivided attention all of the time..its not possible.

I'm sure there's guys who write off single-moms because they've dealt with "velcro-moms" who have toddlers than can't spend 5 minutes without. Not all single-moms are like that, and I'm sure they understand that... but I think it makes them realize that if someone has full custody or close to that of their children, their availability isn't going to be high w/o their kids. Much like someone working a ton.

I don't think anyone's expecting constant attention at all times. I think it's about availability if one's eye is on dating them specifically. And then the other factor is -- just preferring not to be seriously dating someone who has kids. Hey, some women choose not to date guys who DON'T have kids! :) To each their own!
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