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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Dating a person with mental illness scare u?      Home login  
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 hammerhead69
Joined: 4/28/2007
Msg: 26
Dating a person with mental illness scare u?Page 2 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
hmmmmm i dont know how to relate to this commemt to well but all i can say is it depends on the person and what the personalaty is based on cheers
 JCBoston69
Joined: 10/18/2009
Msg: 27
Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 11/5/2009 9:10:23 AM

You people are the most uncompassionate, uneducated, and unbelievably stupid bunch of asseholes I have ever come across. You all deserve the looser that would pick any of you for a significant other. Shame on all of you. PATHETIC !!!


I sincerely hope you get better someday, Drew. And just for the record, it's, "loser," not, "looser."
 JCBoston69
Joined: 10/18/2009
Msg: 28
Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 11/5/2009 9:12:08 AM

The assumption that persons with mental illness are unhealthy is ignorant.


Hello? Illness = unhealthy. You can look it up. When the mind/brain is unhealthy, it's a mental illness.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 29
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Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 11/5/2009 10:19:58 AM
Msg: 1,

I don't think I would want to date a person with mental illness, because I am scared..
I have choices I would rather date a man with a healthy mind and body.


<div class="quote"> I guess the other question is if* a person with mental illness can truly find success with online dating* when having to eventually disclose before ever actually meeting someone.

Nice try, and tough luck, >> A mentally impaired can not function on day to day's life without the crutches of medicines / help of another person . Because they are weak and sick in the mind ,they baulk on normal challenges of life

If you are sick with flu ,can you think clear,strong enough to function very well on your work and around people??? Of course you'll be in bed, taking your medicine ..
 KalGrl
Joined: 10/20/2009
Msg: 30
Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 11/5/2009 2:38:28 PM
I was married to someone who was mentally ill so I have done my time LOL
 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 31
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Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 11/5/2009 3:23:45 PM
Another bait thread...would you date an ugly, fat,wheelchair bound midget,with bad B.O and a mental illness,or how about a one eyed,one legged,lower slobovian,paranoid schizophrenic who wets the bed...too funny...and at least one on here didn't take their meds today and has gone off the deep end and declared everyone to be uncompassionate, pathetic,uneducated,blah,blah,blah...too funny
 JCBoston69
Joined: 10/18/2009
Msg: 32
Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 11/6/2009 9:20:14 AM
Mental illness is a broadly used to term that covers several areas of psychiatric and psychological disorders. A person can have a genetic mental illness which in remission, they will always have the mental illness but not suffer symptoms. Ergo not all persons with a mental illness are unhealthy, to force their illness into remission they would have had to adopt a healthy lifestyle.


Sorry, but your argument is idiotic and reeks of defensiveness. The definition of healthy and/or unhealthy has nothing to do with the presentation of symptoms. It has to do with whether or not whatever system in question is in a state of homeostasis. Someone with a mental illness does not have a brain in that state, whether or not symptoms are present.

By your logic, it could be said that someone could also have HIV, and of course will ALWAYS have HIV, but may not have symptoms and is therefore healthy.

Ergo not all persons with HIV are unhealthy.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 33
Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 11/6/2009 12:12:08 PM
Medicated and under therapy?.... well atleast that would explain some of it.

I almost wish they were upfront about NEEDING medication. It would have saved alot of my time. Lithium, its not just elemental ;)
 JCBoston69
Joined: 10/18/2009
Msg: 34
Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 11/6/2009 12:14:52 PM
My unwillingness to goose step to the theory people with mental illness are inferior is a defensive argument...duh.


Ahh yes, the old, "If you can't argue, call them a Nazi," tactic. Well played.


To state a person with a mental illness can never be healthy nor reach equilibrium is myopic because the factors varying in each person.


Well, then, it's a really good thing I never said that. She can call me when she's been well for a few years not taking meds.



There are people who are fragile chemically as a result of genetics and socialization but can achieve equilibrium through life style i.e. cogitative therapy


I totally agree with that...but it's not a trait I want to be passing on.
 acuddler
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 35
Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 11/13/2009 1:19:23 AM
As a pre-school child I was abused: mentally, verbally, emotionally, physically, and sexually. I used deadly force to defend myself at age 5. I have died, and been revived, twice. I have used deadly force in self defense as an adult. I have survived: house fires, forest fires, avalanches, blizzards, hurricanes, typhoons, tornadoes, earthquakes, wild animal attacks, murder attempts, floods, flash floods, auto accidents, plane crashes, being lost in the wildreness, boat sinkings, and more. Nothing scares me. Why? Do you have a crazy sister you want me to date? Most people are mentally ill in one way, or another. I have lived with a nunmber who were. I treat them like anyone else...because they are. My current S.O. is a bit mentally ill, and-no surprise-so am I. The fact that we found each other, and succeeded in becoming close proves that it can be done. Of course, we were both honest, and undserstanding, about it all up front. If one person can't handle you being MI, then move on to the next person,and keep going until you find someone as screwed up as yourself...so he/she can't complain about you. The fact is that each of the founding fathers of the so called psycho sciences-Freud, Jung, Reich, etc-were all mentally ill. They were each drug addicted sex perverts...among other things. You can't be as bad as they were, so relax, and start to live. Accept mental illness...in yourself, and others.
 bobbajobba
Joined: 4/28/2009
Msg: 36
Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 11/13/2009 5:45:58 AM
Mental illness is nothing to sneeze at ....studies have shown it afflicts an alarming proportion of the population, 99 out of 100 men in relationships show disturbing signs of putting up with it on a daily basis. Medical researchers are baffled and worried by this alarming trend, the only known cure at this time is to place these tragically afflicted men in front of a televsion to watch football. For some reason, researchers have found that mental illness tends to subside, and even go away, if there is lots of football going on. The volume must be up to its loudest setting for the curative effect to be completely realized. Curiously, once the football game is over and the volume is turned down, the mentall illness re-appears, usually taking the form of screeching irritating voices in their head. Some men have actually gone insane from these frightening voices.
The most common form of these strange voices usually centers around a repetitive, neurotic, irrational need to achieve various menial tasks around the house. Psychiatrists have also found that a certain kind of fruit is also associated with onsets of these illnesses, the honeydew is being studied at a number of laboratories for further clues.
 Mrpbody44
Joined: 10/21/2009
Msg: 37
Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 11/13/2009 6:52:40 AM
I got stabbed 4 times by my ex wife who was bi polar. Did everything to help her but she refused treatment.

No way would I date some one with a mental condition. Too many good choices out there at my age.
 acuddler
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 38
Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 11/13/2009 9:32:09 AM
The grown daughter of a woman I was dating once had an attack of PMS, and came after me with a carving knive. I took it away from her, threw her on the floor, and sat on her until the cops arrived. Knives are nothing to one who knows how to handle them. Of course, I took Fencing lessons at age 9, Judo at age 10, and Karate at 11. Grow some cajones, Mrpbody44. Then people won't be able to stab you.
 Mrpbody44
Joined: 10/21/2009
Msg: 39
Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 11/13/2009 2:32:00 PM
Grow some cajones, Mrpbody44. Then people won't be able to stab you.

I regularly beat US Army Team Fencers in College Acuddler.
I was first hit over the head with a mirror as she said I was the devil as she could not see me in the mirror. I was dialing 911 when I got stabbed. She was also about my hieght 6ft 1 in tall. It took 2 cops to take her down.
 Chitownguy40
Joined: 9/29/2009
Msg: 40
Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 11/13/2009 10:57:03 PM
Mental illness comes in many different forms, from relatively minor to utterly debilitating. It is NEVER acceptable to just run away and not respond to someone. They had the decency to be honest about their condition; they least you can do is be decent to them and give them a straight answer. I would ask them to teach me more about whatever they were struggling with.
 fastdogphotog
Joined: 5/27/2008
Msg: 41
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Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 11/14/2009 10:12:13 AM
To answer the OP's original question - it would depend. As other have asserted, there are many different types of mental illness and different individuals with the same illness may manifest it to a lesser or greater degree. Furthermore, many conditions can be regulated or stabilized with proper treatment. So, it would depend on the person, the illness, whether they are being treated, etc.

I know several people with depression and / or anxiety who function at a much higher level than some of the so-called "normal" people I know. I would not hesitate to date them. But I also know people with personality disorders, such as BPD, that I would never consider dating because of the way they are.


Sad to say but many people with a mental illness have a hard time in a relationship


This may be true, but from my own and friends' experiences, and after reading these forums for a while, it seems to me that many "normal" people have a hard time in a relationship as well.
 Cat*Eyes
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 42
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Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 11/15/2009 12:42:55 AM
As I said, after you learn you are involved with a mentally ill person, end it.
What I wanted to add here is , once they start taking Meds, they will become sexually not functional. The point is, you can not have a relationship with these types of people either way.
 acuddler
Joined: 10/30/2009
Msg: 43
Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 11/15/2009 2:50:40 AM
Mrpbody44 - learning WHAT to do-fencing, etc-is only part of the equation. Learning WHEN to do it is the other part...the part you miseed out on. Call 911-for a body bag-AFTER you remove the hostile threats...not during the hostilities. The cops don't seem to have been trained properly either. No one stands long after having a knee cap shattered. They don't attack much once their eyes have been poked out. Any 6 ft+ crazies who come at me are going to lose a knee cap at least. Arnold Schwarzenegger can't do much to harm you if you bust his kneecap. Lou Farrigno can't hurt you if he can't see you, and is too busy dealing with his own pain to even notice where you are.
 Jonawad
Joined: 1/18/2012
Msg: 44
Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 3/13/2012 3:39:16 PM
When it comes to talking about the "mental illness" bomb. I think those who are inflicted need some advice. First off, if you have a few phone conversations and a couple of dates but no where need ready to commit to a relationship...why even mention it? You and your date are stilling deciding if your compatible for a relationship and then you throw which is the worst subject to talk about on the table? Dont feel sorry for yourself if he or she stops talking to you. You gotta be careful about how and when you break it to them because its likely your date is very uneducated by this and has a very unfair view of those who are mentally ill. When your date becomes your partner and you have a relationship and he or she decides to move in, well then it might be time to let her know. If your good about getting help with your illness its a safe bet your partner wont be blown away by such a revelation. So timing is right and even you dont tell them about your illness and they find your medicine bottles where you keep them and ask or even worse look up on the net about what they do....you see what thats going.

All and All those who are afflicted can lead lives just as normal as any person who isnt afflicted. There is nothing scary about them as long as they continue to get help and lead a high functioning life.
 damsel19
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 45
Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 3/13/2012 4:24:48 PM
It is difficult enough to sustain relationships without buying into one with a mentally ill person. So many will not take their meds regularly and all hell breaks loose. You cannot really help them and it causes enormous strain.

THey are wonderful at their careers because they have no real domestic life and can put all the hours in and concentrate on that area of their lives, largely. They are typically very bright often.

However there are degrees and degrees of illness and some are easier to cope with than others.
 jeep1127girl
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 46
Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 3/13/2012 8:17:08 PM
No I wouldnt date someone with mental illness. Im not jesus christ trying to save someone. I want someone who can be on the same page as me, not someone I have to hold up all the time.
 Samhein
Joined: 7/20/2010
Msg: 47
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Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 3/14/2012 12:58:43 AM
Nope, not again. The irrational behavior changes were simply too much to deal with. Attempting to have a long lasting meaningful connection with someone who changes her mind every six months, or who does not place any special importance on a relationship with someone specific because /nothing/ in their mind has any more or less significance than anything else - ie., hobby=my new wall paper= my car = my relationship - simply isn't going to connect with me enough. I'm too damned normal and balanced. I give people a lot of slack about a lot of things, but the kind of personality changing I experienced... no way, never again.
 ChevGirl78
Joined: 1/1/2012
Msg: 48
Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 3/14/2012 5:34:36 AM
I've only read the first few responses and am totally disgusted.

Not everyone with a mental illness is as society portrays mental illness. There are a lot of people who are highly functioning individuals with a mental illness. Myself for example, you would never know that I have one except for the fact that I take medication every day and visit the doctor more than most people.

No wonder people with mental illness are ****ed up and not a part of society, they have to deal with ignorant people who apply a stigma to them making the person not want to deal with life.
 christyis4real
Joined: 7/6/2011
Msg: 49
Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 3/14/2012 9:33:18 PM
Well, i suffer from depression due to childhood trauma, and I think I am pretty normal otherwise. :P


I've met men who have seemed normal, who turned out to be Bipolar (i didn't find out till they told me of course), and without them telling me, I would have never known. So, it doesn't scare me really. the only mental issue that would possibly make me feel uneasy would be schizophrenia.
 amalefriend
Joined: 2/11/2012
Msg: 50
Dating a person with mental illness scare u?
Posted: 3/15/2012 3:34:33 AM
I dated one person with bipolar about twenty years ago for a couple of months. The experience is vividly seared in my memory as a reminder to never get involved with someone with a severe mental illness again. I have watched a friend date one gf after another with mental illnesses and seen the roller coaster ride he let himself be lead on. Not for me.
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