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 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 434
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal Page 21 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)

go Dutch as they do in Sweden

if u wanna go Dutch, go to Holland
that being said, i dont eat breakfast, lunch, or dinner w/ a man i am not into
 VacationGuy234
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 435
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/11/2011 6:06:39 PM

http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/date-food-women-seek-fancy-dinners/story?id=15107409

Then she got her female friends involved, more or less making it some kind of informal scam, to include working up profiles on spreadsheets and scheduling a "date rotation" with the other women.

http://straightfromthea.com/2011/12/08/women-use-online-dating-for-free-meals-monetary-perks-who-knew/


Sniper: I missed this story and I'm glad you posted it. I don't think a lot of women realize how seriously men take dating. I think a lot of women believe we look at it as just a game, but the truth is that for most guys it is as serious as a heart attack. I'd be willing to bet that a lot of guys in that article don't even make the money they claim, but will still spend that kind of money on a date in the hopes that someone will love them.

The dating world is a rough world and it is sad that people take advantage of it, but that is reality, unfortunately.

I like the comment about saving the wallet for marriage.. The only problem is: You won't get many dates.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 436
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/11/2011 6:40:27 PM

For years men could get by with picking up checks and chivalry. Now that men don't have to pick up the check for us - they'd better have some other redeemable trait that keeps them at the table. Good looks and a sense of humor will work. Otherwise I might as well take my plate to the bar and catch some TV.






Amen

There comes a time when you gotta ask yourself: "what the heck is this person on the other side of the table bringing to my life that I couldnt bring, often times better, myself?
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 437
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/11/2011 6:50:10 PM

Sniper: I missed this story and I'm glad you posted it. I don't think a lot of women realize how seriously men take dating.

I do - and I think some take it entirely too seriously. I think that a lot of the time this mindset causes more disappointment, as well.

I think a lot of women believe we look at it as just a game, but the truth is that for most guys it is as serious as a heart attack.

And that's too much.

I'd be willing to bet that a lot of guys in that article don't even make the money they claim, but will still spend that kind of money on a date in the hopes that someone will love them.

That's crazy to me. However, if they do - they do. They are choosing to do so, despite the urgency or feeling they need to be half of a whole.

The dating world is a rough world and it is sad that people take advantage of it, but that is reality, unfortunately.

It's tougher and sadder for those who make it a mission and try to force connections with different means including spending a lot of money to sway someone's decision.

I like the comment about saving the wallet for marriage.. The only problem is: You won't get many dates.

You may get less, but the ones you do get will be a better match.
 CheezyChick
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 438
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/11/2011 6:50:19 PM

Some women are seeking more evolved, intelligent men with stronger character

I'm not sure how intelligence and strong character corolade with not wanting to engage in sex?
Personally I'm attracted to a man that knows what he wants and goes after it. I don't need to be given the princess treatment or be persuaded to have sex. Sex is a natural progression in a relationship, timing differs on an individual basis, doesn't make anyone more 'evolved' in my opinion.
 hotmerlot
Joined: 11/3/2011
Msg: 439
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/11/2011 7:24:16 PM
Sounds more like you are dining and whining them. That is why I pay for my own dinner!
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 440
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/11/2011 7:26:32 PM
Sounds more like you are dining and whining them




That one burnt the as* a bit hu?


 VacationGuy234
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 441
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/12/2011 7:13:03 AM
WIP: I agree that it is not healthy.
 imacipher
Joined: 11/14/2011
Msg: 442
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 12/12/2011 2:03:24 PM
Actually, I'm planning , an adventure in Copenhagen in the near future... I think there's much merit in "going Dutch' & not just in Holland either. No, I think I'm quite content to not feel obligated because someone's bought me, "A Dinner"-?!
If all someone is into is jumping into the sack; well, there are very high-class
escort services but, the women will charge a lot more than the paltry price of a dinner:} !
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 443
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 1/1/2012 4:16:52 PM

Most women DO put a lot of effort into getting ready for a date... they use make up, wear bras to show maximum breast appeal, dye their hair, and look as appealing as they can for a man. WHY DO YOU THINK IT'S COMMONLY CALLED SEX APPEAL ???
I do that for myself, too


In this day and age, most men anticipate having sexual relations with a woman that they have been wining and dining, within a month or 2. They anticipate it, and most women probably do as well. SEX is part of a healthy relationship. Sex is passion, expression,communication, trust, excitement, and so much more. It's not the 1950's any longer... and how a woman sexually responds to a man says a lot about their compatibility.

So does that mean if I had sex w/ a man & had multiple orgasms, that he was compatable...in all ways, not just in the bedroom??? That doesn't make sense...
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 444
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 1/1/2012 5:12:07 PM

it was not so nice as he was not very attentive

cheap wallet & cheap ding-a-ling
give me a magnum man anyday
 VacationGuy234
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 445
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 1/1/2012 5:17:28 PM
I agree, nobody should have sex if they don't want to, but that's not the point of the post. The post is about leading someone on and whether you are owed sex.

I don't think you are owed sex, but if anyone thinks sex is not a component of dating they are not dealing with reality. To have a relationship is to be physical otherwise it's just a friendship and you don't have to date for a friendship or spend money for one(in most cases).
 mainelyhere
Joined: 11/21/2011
Msg: 446
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 1/1/2012 5:18:37 PM

Don't blame this "date and age" for your or his lack of morals. Not all men expect sexual favors as a part of dating. With STD's and so many people with extreme personality disorders, sleeping with someone within 30-60 days is not only stupid but dangerous.

Morals???

tell me how having consensual sex is immoral? and tell me how it could POSSIBLY have a set time thats reasonable for everyone?

most humans beings, not merely men, expect sex to eventually occur in a relationship.

the fact that you hold it in such disdain is kind of sad really.
 ladyseekinggent
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 447
view profile
History
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 1/1/2012 7:53:01 PM
This person this man who wines and dines.....this woman....for months....and is expecting sex but is not getting it.....is the woman a virgin? or inexperienced sexually or in life....? Why didn't he turn away from her and seek someone who would be more suitable if sex before marriage is a concern? Especially if marriage is not on his mind...
....Prosititutes are people who get paid to sexually please their clients....but don't necessarily get emotionally attached to them...or expect marriage...

Mysterious men scare some women....not knowing what to expect can diffuse the feelings of intimacy....and if she did give in....then what ...the mysteriousness would lead to ....a dangle on his belt for another conquest....leaving her scarred emotionally...

If sex before marriage is not the issue...what is?
Intimidating, controlling Sex appeal? or Just Skeered and afraid to get screwed?
 mainelyhere
Joined: 11/21/2011
Msg: 448
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 1/1/2012 7:56:47 PM
im more inclined to think she has a few guys she was interviewing and didnt let him know.
the term is a user.
 Unnamed_Artist
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 449
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 1/1/2012 8:03:42 PM
Sounds like a user to me...or she's "keeping her options open".
 ladyseekinggent
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 450
view profile
History
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 1/1/2012 8:14:35 PM
no offense, back in the day.....the 50's guys and girls didn't have sex before marriage....they courted....got engaged....married...then had sex....

So just the reference of dating a lady and should instead see a prosititute in the same paragraph.... suggests...that the man is not seeking marriage just a fun time...but has not yet conquested this latest woman.. who apparently seems to be classier than a prostititute..because of the non sex.

If he was so charming...etc...why is he still single...first of all...?.
Then why.... if she is a 'user'....and he is so traveled doesn't he see her as one....
-------------------
What is it about this woman ....that sex became such an issue?
If he is still with her, why is he still with her ? is a better question.....
Old world observer? .... Maybe needs to find a new fish....
 southernbabe03
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 451
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 1/2/2012 3:00:42 AM
I have one better than that?
Why don't the men take you out a few times BEFORE expecting sex?
I have met 3 men from POF after talking to them for more than a month.
We meet in a public place to talk.
Before the meet is over, he is already asking if I would like to get a room?
NO! I just met you!!!
This has been my experience and I don't dress provacatively when I meet them, very casual.
I put on very little make up, some question if I have it on, and I just have combed, clean hair.
I am not dressing to impress, I am just me.
I don't put up fronts and pretend to be someone or something I am not.
I would love to go out and eat, go to a movie, a concert, a comedy club, SOMEWHERE except a room when we meet.
JERKS!!
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 452
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 1/2/2012 10:47:23 AM
I have met 3 men from POF after talking to them for more than a month.
We meet in a public place to talk.




More than a month?

What; he's supposed to act like you're brand new to him?
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 453
view profile
History
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 1/2/2012 10:36:23 PM
Let's hear your thoughts

OP, you seem to be following very old fashioned dating rules with bizarre, outdated expectations. Times have changed my friend. Where were you?

In response to regular dating, I pay for myself whenever it is possible (sometimes men will demand and insist on paying). I like to take my time getting to know someone before doing it and if they insist on paying throughout this time why should that be my problem?


If a man, or woman's profile says DINNER COMPANION ONLY, then it spells out the terms of what he and she are looking for, and expecting.

1. I do know what it means, but no, you’re wrong, not everyone knows what that means. Spelling it out would look more like this: I WILL TAKE YOU OUT FOR DINNER IF YOU HAVE SEX WITH ME. And then you could call the sex police and report her if she doesn't.
2. Some women will change their mind.
3. Some women will try to change your mind.

These are your rules. You can’t expect all women in the world to change just so you can have sex with them. If the roles were reversed the same logic would apply.


Many of the women's replies told the man that if he expected sexual favors in return for dining and entertaining this woman, that he should get a Prostitute.

The reason for this is because it works so well with call girls and not so well with the ladies. Why else would there even be the need to mention it? Btw., how are things working out for you? A bit frustrated, are we?
 ruspukin
Joined: 9/29/2010
Msg: 454
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 1/3/2012 4:07:01 AM
you last paragraph about sex and a healthy relationship, is totally incorrect. Unless its done between two people in a very loving union (like marriage), it can lead to emptiness and seperation. In the short term it may work, but why would any woman chance aids or unwanted pregnancy over 5 minutes of pleasure with a man that will more than likely not be with her over the long term, and take years away from her life that could have been spent elsewhere?...not including the mental anguish that is associated with being with him!
 cinsav
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 455
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 1/3/2012 9:30:12 PM
ruspukin said it all.... that's how it makes me feel.

I do what I want to do based on how I feel, not on what a guy spent on me.

I dislike having sex with guys I am not exclusive with as they never take me seriously afterwards and never want a relationship,.

Everything you said was so spot on.


Here's the truth about men and sex. We like sex. We love sex. We think about a lot. That's out nature. And, while you may be in an 'exclusive' relationship with a man it doesn't mean he hasn't had a "naughty" thoughts about the 20 year old blond at the gym... or the redheaded secretary at the office.... he has. He'll never admit it to you - because he knows your insecurities will cause you to go into a rage and behead him. But, it's ok for you to sit around in your group of friends and drool over the male-stripper'esque bartender on "girl's night out."

Anyway, let's get to the point.

Regardless of what modern Sit-Coms lead you to believe. Men are not simpleton animals who screw everything up. We're actually pretty complicated and smart. You see we know that sex is your only means of control. You withhold it punish, you withhold it to make us jump through hoops to "prove ourselves" to you, you use it to get what you want. You use it to land us and to reel us in. So, when the time comes that you "give it up" you are in a sense surrendering that one piece of power you had over us.

Here's MY deal... I don't and I have never expected a woman to "come home with me" on the first date, the second date, or the third date. I agree with that you that the risks of unwanted pregnancy or social disease isn't worth it.

But, after a few dates? You're still holding back - that tells me you're dangling it as a carrot.... "be a good boy and MAYBE I'll give it up..." in those cases, to the curb you go. I'm not going to spend hundreds upon hundreds of dollars on you only for you to wake up one day and decide the guy in the cubical next to you at work is a better choice.... then I'm out with nothing. Hell with that.

That's life.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 456
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 1/4/2012 5:12:44 PM
Rachee30, just never have sex with a guy wanting anything else but to enjoy the sex itself. That way whether he calls again or not has nothing do with what happened. While sex is nice in a relationship, it's better off not to be confused with one directly.

Make it clear. Go to his place, and when it's over - start looking for your car keys. Shake it off...
 cinsav
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 457
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 1/6/2012 5:01:50 PM

Well cinsav, how do you think I feel when the guy has got what he wanted before investing anytime really getting to know me well enough to have any attachment.

I have never used sex as power, if anything the men have had all the power.

It's funny how once I do sleep with a guy I am dating they change and either only want sex and no longer want to date or do anything else, or they just say there busy or ignore me while they are on to the next challenge.

So tell me, how is this benefiting me in anyway, I just feel used again and again.

Some men I dated who I did not feel that attracted to therefore did not sleep with, well they really got to know me as a person and asked me for a relationship.

Funny that hey!


I don't have a problem with you with holding it until you are confident you aren't being played for just sex. But, too many women out there - far too many - take it way beyond that.

I completely understand if you're on a date with a guy who spends more time staring at your ass and chest than he does making eye contact - then invites you back to his place. I get that. But, how often are those?

And, I am tired of listen to women act like sex is some undesirable, painful, chore that you're just going through the motions with. Sex is biological, it's part of our make up, it's part of who we are. A lot of you women act like you're doing US a favor. Excuse me.... but are you not getting something out of it too? The physicality? The orgasm? The pleasure? The contact, the intimacy?

Stop acting like you're not getting anything out of too. Because you are. Just as much as he is. By "you" I don't mean YOU specifically Rachee.

We have to deal with flaky ass women who use us for our money, lie to us, and have no idea what they want.

How do you think we [men] feel after we've invested ourselves in a woman, who we've finally let our guard to, only to find that's just another nut case flake who dumps us because she saw a rainbow on the way to work?

There is no magic formula. Some times you can tell right off the bat what the other is about - if he's grabbing at your ass on the first date, sure good warning sign. If she's upset because I am not spending 400 dollars on her on the first date - yeah good warning sign.

But more often than not men aren't going to figure out the flakes until it's too late. And, women aren't going to figure out the players (the really good players) until IT'S too late. Welcome to life. It sucks, but that's just the way it is. The best you can do is enjoy the ride - and move forward.

As long as you aren't use sex as a carrot or making it a focal point of hoops for him to jump through, fine. But, in the end, don't deny yourself a little pleasure once and a while because you've got your head wrapped around something that ultimately is a non-issue.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 458
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 1/7/2012 4:15:05 AM
Some men and women view sex as the primary force in a relationship. If I meet a man and he is the type that does not find me sexually appealing based solely on my appearance, then I am glad he weeded himself out as a potential date for me. He truly does need to date women who he finds to be hot looking. I am not saying that I find all men I might meet physically attractive, I am the type that finds average looking men with other good traits to be sexy for various reasons. My problem with the men whose primary goal is finding hot women is that they have usually been rude to me and act like no other man would find me sexy because they don't. When I send someone a pic the woman really is me they are seeing. The fact that they think I will morph into someone else before they meet me is their problem, not mine.
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