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 bumponnalog
Joined: 7/14/2005
Msg: 131
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That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal Page 4 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)
There's a big difference between anticipating or hoping for sexual involvement with someone you're dating and expecting it. There's also a difference between having an expectation of sexual involvement or anticipation with someone you've been dating for a couple of months compared to a couple of dates. I've even had men voice their expectation of sex on the first date for heavens sake! Any decent woman would be offended and in that particular situation I DID feel the man should just be paying for a prostitute instead of wasting my time when I'm looking for more than a one-night stand (and have previously let the guy know that before we even went out).
I would not be having a man wining and dining (or spending aa lot of time/spending money on me) over a period of time (weeks/months) if I did not have an attraction to him and was anticipating some sexual activity myself at some point. That would be a user. However, a mature, experienced person ought to be able to recognize when they are being taken advantage of - when your date give not even some samll amount of physical warmth - toughing, kisses and hugs - after a reasonable amount of time, you need to re-evaluate!
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 136
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/15/2009 6:07:56 PM

Many of the women's replies told the man that if he expected sexual favors in return for dining and entertaining this woman, that he should get a Prostitute.


Well, really, it's better for a man to stick with professionals for everything they need done.

The best thing is that professionals collect their money, go away and never come back for more....

.... something that can't be said for wives or girlfriends especially when kids are involved....

I haven't gone through all the other pages of this thread, but I have to say, OP, that I really like that you've managed to get the little ladies stamping their ickle feeties...

Bravo!

 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 137
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/15/2009 6:17:01 PM
Most women know that there is a sexual attraction, but there is a difference between being attracted to someone and only dating someone because they want sex.


Right.

And, according to most women, this sexual attraction to a man is felt in the first 30 seconds or less....

... so why the fvck spend half an hour, let alone a second date?

[Capitano, enjoys the view from his front window, gray as it is, waiting for the inane, evasive answer]



Edit to add:

Fvck.

Here I thought I was contributing something new and it turns out that 3 seconds is the new time-frame.

Well, apparently I have diddly-squat to add to this whole discussion except to add that if you really want to know ANYTHING about sex appeal, just check me out.

The other thing is:

Why the fvck didn't anyone invite me to this party earlier?

And, the other thing that I'd like to just toss out there is that if any of you little ladies want to know how much sex appeal you have or how much attention you can realistically expect, I strongly suggest you send me pictures of your asses.

Cheers.

Yours sincerely.

El Capitano
 xlr8ingmargo
Joined: 7/28/2009
Msg: 139
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/15/2009 6:27:10 PM
EXACTLY!!! Why should anyone waste their time...
That was a comment to Capitano's post...
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 140
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/15/2009 6:35:38 PM
EXACTLY!!! Why should anyone waste their time...
That was a comment to Capitano's post...


Yes, I am sexy.

I'm glad when little people like you and all the others who've commented here acknowledge that fact.

And, I can expect pictures of your ass when, exactly?

... and, I hope it's sooner than Savona sending pics of her ass. She's teased and promised, but never delivered.

Shit, I'd be happy to send out pics of MY ass. I have no idea why some chicks have a problem with that.



To Add


Margo64:Well there is some nice pics of my tats on my butt on My Space... If you can find them...


Yeah, like I'm gonna go look for pics or YOUR ass, lovely as I'm sure it is, when my email box is always full of other women's asses

... you have a nice rack, though.... ;~>

Cheers....

 red_relaxed
Joined: 7/18/2007
Msg: 142
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/15/2009 6:42:16 PM

With nearly 100 replies to my thread, I'm very pleasantly surprised. And only one poster lost her credibility with me

You must be nearly turning inside out with unadulterated astonishment at nearly double that as of this minute!!! Woohoo!!!


If you repeatedly question the validity of what someone else has accomplished, you might be secretly resentful of your own insignificance.

You might consider consuming a teaspoon of your own medicine OP.


I abhor this topic so much, I can't even bring myself to read through the thread. I may well be saying something that's been said over, and over, and over. The only reason I'm making this post is because I want this topic to DIE. I want people (men AND women) to grow up, and I want to never see this kind of thing ever again.


 xlr8ingmargo
Joined: 7/28/2009
Msg: 143
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/15/2009 6:42:50 PM
Well there is some nice pics of my tats on my butt on My Space... If you can find them...
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 145
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/15/2009 7:29:27 PM

I haven't gone through all the other pages of this thread, but I have to say, OP, that I really like that you've managed to get the little ladies stamping their ickle feeties...

LOL. My "feeties" are far from "ickle"...were I to actually EVER be bothered by a thread enough to stamp them, it would register on the Richter Scale.

Again, I repeat my point...we GET that men ask us out because they want to do the horizontal hula. To suggest that we don't get that insults our collective intelligence. What surprises and angers women is when the "honest,good man looking for a longterm relationship" is having a hissy fit and tantrum because we won't spread our legs after 2 or 3 dates. Or we go along with the idea because WE ALSO wanted to enjoy sex...only to have the "looking for something serious" guy "fall off the face of the earth" afterward.
Which leaves a lot of really good men wondering WTF is wrong with women these days. It ain't us, guys, it's the "hit it and quit it" faction of your gender. Maybe if y'all did a little internal "policing" of the talking d*cks, women would start trusting men again.
Cindy O
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 146
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/15/2009 7:45:31 PM

What surprises and angers women is when the "honest,good man looking for a longterm relationship" is having a hissy fit and tantrum because we won't spread our legs after 2 or 3 dates. ...


No, not quite...

... what surprises and angers women is that the shitheads they choose to bang after 2 or 3 dates can't be squeezed intothe unrealistic picture frame that the woman created in the first place.


Which leaves a lot of really good men wondering WTF is wrong with women these days. It ain't us, guys, it's the "hit it and quit it" faction of your gender.


Nice try, but men are reminded constantly that it takes TWO to tango.


Maybe if y'all did a little internal "policing" of the talking d*cks, women would start trusting men again.


Maybe if y'all did a little internal "policing" of the talking d*cks, men would start trusting women again....

 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 147
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/15/2009 8:04:14 PM

what surprises and angers women is that the shitheads they choose to bang after 2 or 3 dates can't be squeezed intothe unrealistic picture frame that the woman created in the first place.

I don't disagree with you on that point at all. But since these characters don't happen to wear bright red vests with "shithead" embroidered on it in glow sticks, a lot of women go way over the other way and have no trust and no expectations.

Dude, if you are meeting women with d*cks, talking or otherwise, you are hanging around in the WRONG places...unless you are into the tranny scene..."NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT!"
Cindy O
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 149
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That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/15/2009 8:21:50 PM
I can' t believe that this thread has disintegrated into defense of rape. Nuns are raped, for chrissake! Rape is a crime of violence, and the victims are chosen by mere convenience, for the most part.

capitano, I often enjoy your posts, but....

[. what surprises and angers women is that the shitheads they choose to bang after 2 or 3 dates can't be squeezed intothe unrealistic picture frame that the woman created in the first place]

How the hell do you know what angers women? I totally agree that we (men and women alike) are responsible for our own mistakes, but what makes you think it isn't the men who work hard to convince women that they ARE the picture they PORTRAY, just to get in their pants? There is much truth in that men say what they believe women want to hear, and that women really do want to believe it. btw, as to the converse; "the shitheads who choose to bang them"! Is there absolutely no blame on the other side of this equation? Are we to believe that the male gender is completely at the mercy of their penis? I'm not buying that, not for a minute. All men do NOT choose to "bang" every woman they take out for a meal. It would seem, from the post you quoted, that the indication is that women are angered by being deceived, which people are, both men & women. There are an equal number of deceivers on either side of the gender equation and an equal number of angry "usees" (is that how you spell that?!)

[Nice try, but men are reminded constantly that it takes TWO to tango.]

Are you disputing this? Can one "tango" alone, effectively, and to complete satisfaction?

[Maybe if y'all did a little internal "policing" of the talking d*cks, men would start trusting women again...]

Distrust is not gender specific, it is human nature, conditioned by experience. Works both ways, kinda like taking two to tango. Perhaps that is why some women "make men wait". Personally, I find that attitude indicative of a controlling personality, but then again, what is wrong with being in control of one's own fate? Perhaps there wouldn't be so many single parents posting ridiculous threads here about not being wanted, as they are 23, with 3 kids by three different men, all of whom shirk their responsibility.

Just sayin'

 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 152
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/15/2009 8:54:33 PM

Men and woman are just as responsible for their own decision to believe those liars as the liars are for lying!

another point I DON'T disagree with. But all too often due caution, or "I'm taking this with a grain of salt" mindset in early dating, a willingness to admit that there are liars out there in Datingland, gets taken as "bitterness". So what is it you want women to do, become resigned to lies and gameplaying?
I always take responsibility for my thoughts and actions. I am simply suggesting that men,or women, who behave badly can cause a pattern of taking responsibility that involves withdrawal from the field of lies and games, or of setting very rigid criteria and parameters,even if those parameters bar GOOD prospects.
I suspect that many women who have 3 month, 6 month, a dozen dates or whatever set-in-stone benchmark for having sex, are simply taking what they believe to be responsible steps to avoid the bedpost notchers, the 'get the goody and run' guys that they may have had a LOT of encounters with. Not all women can shrug and say "yah well, so what else is new" when a recently acquired relationship prospect/sex partner seems to vanish from the face of the earth. I'm sure not all men can say "yah well what else is new" either, if their new squeeze turns out to be a 'gold digger'or leaves him flat for the "bigger better deal" she just met.
People should, can and do take responsibility for their actions. Unfortunately sometimes their experiences cause them to set rigid benchmarks and screen very hard.We all know of the gutsy people who keep getting knocked down by life and love and keep getting right back up. Yay for them. But for some that are less tough, staying down, or rising with great caution seems the better way. Who are we to judge them?
Cindy O
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 154
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/15/2009 9:20:50 PM

according to most women, this sexual attraction to a man is felt in the first 30 seconds or less....

... so why the fvck spend half an hour, let alone a second date?

To find out if we want to be bothered beyond that.

We know if we could sleep with you pretty quickly - the rest of the time is trying to figure out if we want to.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 155
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/15/2009 9:38:16 PM
We know if we could sleep with you pretty quickly - the rest of the time is trying to figure out if we want to.

LOL and amazingly good sex does not necessarily make for 'serious relationship' involvement. But I think most of us want a man whose company we can enjoy out of bed as well as in bed.
Beyond that, I personally have always taken responsibility for my dating actions,and chalked up ones that didn't go as I hoped, to experience, because I do have self esteem, trust in my judgement and faith that things will work out however they are supposed to. That has not robbed me of my ability to feel compassion for those who have been hurt. Not everyone who visits these forums is as streetsmart, tough and selfconfident as others. And I will not be "put in the wrong" for feeling compassion. Nor will I engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person or people,even if their state of being unarmed is not like them.
Cindy O
 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 156
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That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/15/2009 9:41:35 PM
[It has ? How did you conclude that ? I strongly stated that this thread was not about rape. Who's defending rape ?]

I didn't say YOU had anything to do with it. There were several posts that alluded to attire & such (sex appeal) as an invitation for rape.

Yes, many have illusions & many prey on those illusions, pretending to be what they are not in order to get what they want. I agree, there are people who anger because of this. Their anger may be misdirected but it is anger nonetheless. The failure to accept responsibility for misjudging someone's character doesn't have much to do with sex appeal, as far as I am concerned, but it exists in abundance. Good thing, too, or we couldn't participate in these forums!
 grizzelda
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 158
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That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/16/2009 5:43:03 AM
You bring up a good point... waiting for the 3 rd date, the first or second month to have sex with a partner, doesn't mean that a pregnancy won't result. Or an STD. Or a broken heart. Which brings us full circle to the basis of this thread.


No it wont, but what it may do is give you more time to get a better idea of who that person is, how they react with others, their out look on life, just the small things can give a lot of insight into who a person is. That is what will help make the decision if this person has greater odds to be someone who you DONT want to be involved with sexually.
 xlr8ingmargo
Joined: 7/28/2009
Msg: 159
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/16/2009 6:58:41 AM
STD's, broken hearts, making mutual friends uncomfortable, pissing off each others grown children, BLA BLA BLA... That's why sometimes it's just easier to have sex with someone I've been enjoying without the strings. That's why condom companies make a fortune.
Life is complicated enough without having to bring it all into the bed room. Sooner or later I will find my Mr. Almost Perfect again in that process as I always do. I still seek the same qualities even in a lover. I never seem to stay single long. Waiting for a third date? By then I won't want one...
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 160
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/16/2009 8:06:49 AM
OK...so all this genetic encoding makes sense....for those who have a longer time frame before deciding to have sex while dating. What of those who don't have the longer "waiting period"? Does that mean they're more highly evolved - yanno, like why we've evolved to the point of not requiring wisdom teeth (some don't even develop wisdom teeth now)? Or does that make their genetic imprinting faulty? Or...is the genetic imprinting just a convenient excuse for those who wait when there's really no other blanket explanation for all of the female species' different choices they make? If women have evolved to the point of choosing "mates" differently during the evolutionary process, does that mean that men haven't evolved at all because they're still operating in the same mating way as they have for said 50,000 years? Oh, I guess they have evolved...they aren't using that club to take what they want.

Personally, I think it has more to do with how people have been brought up, past experiences, personal morality, comfort zones with sexuality itself, the inability for some to read people quickly, and sometimes a good dose of hidden agendas by either sex. In other words, a real mixed bag that goes into the decision making on the part of both sexes.
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 162
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/16/2009 9:24:07 AM
A man that pushes this subject with a woman prematurely is a good indicator that other things about him will be "premature".
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 163
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/16/2009 10:00:50 AM
^^^Most women don't do a lot of hookups/one nighters after their 20s, if they ever did at all. The ones who do like hookups and one nighters tend not to do them with one guy - they tend to string a bunch together and never see one guy twice. If you want to be one guy in many - and be Friday after another Thursday and yet another on Saturday - then that's cool. Something tells me you have the nerve not to like that either - which isn't surprising.

Even women who are in FWB's or NSAs while single have an arrangement with one guy they know well, not many they know nothing about.

I think you're assuming the one night women and the relationship women are the same ones. Many times they're not. Unfortunately a lot of relationship women like to know BEYOND the physical attraction that you're a person they want to date, talk to, be around, trust, etc.

I have to ask this though - for the men who view a woman wanting to know her sex partner better (gasp-the horror) as "having to wait", does it matter to you that the woman you sleep with actually wants to sleep with you, or is that irrelevant to you as long as you don't have to wait?

Most LTRs I've been in - the guy wanted to know I actually wanted him and was comfortable with it before anything happened. I get the sense from the men who don't like waiting they could give a shit that the woman in question is actually ok with it/comfortable about it.
 grizzelda
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 164
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That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/16/2009 10:17:43 AM
^^^^^^^^^ I have to say that I am getting the same impression. These men talk about women being "contolling" with sex because they dont want to hop in the sack with a relative stranger, yet these very same men are actually the one trying to control with sex. If she doesnt want to have sex immediately they are the ones that are trying to strong arm the sexual aspect of the relationship by putting an ultimatum on an act that should be mutual.

Is it any wonder why the term "putting out" was coined? If there wasnt this instant pressure to have sex immediately, I imagine quite a few women wouldnt feel that they were "putting out" but actually having a mutually satisfying sexual relationship.
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 165
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/16/2009 10:20:39 AM

How the hell do you know what angers women?


Geez, I've been hanging around the fora for years....

... I've been compiling a list and it's pretty comprehensive at this point...

.... toilet seats up seems to still be on top of the list...


Are we to believe that the male gender is completely at the mercy of their penis? I'm not buying that, not for a minute. All men do NOT choose to "bang" every woman they take out for a meal.


Well, if the choice was really only up to the guy, of course he'd bang every woman he takes out for dinner.....

... men rarely take women they don't want to bang out to dinner....

 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 166
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/16/2009 10:25:53 AM

We know if we could sleep with you pretty quickly - the rest of the time is trying to figure out if we want to.


Well, at least it's nice to know that whenever a woman accepts a second date, she would bang us....

.... if only it weren't so tedious trying to meet the other 97 things on her Must Have List.

It's like walking in a mine-field....

.... but at least we know now that she will bang us if we make it across....

.... provided that we still feel she's worth it. Hoop jumping is tiresome....

 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 167
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/16/2009 10:30:46 AM
^^^Capitano, if you view a woman wanting to know you well enough to sleep with you as hoop jumping, then I guess that's pretty much the bottom line.

So now we're back to "pay for it". That way there are no hoops to jump. Just throw down your fee and get down to business - you don't even have to sit thru dinner. Many times the women don't care who you are or what you're about - which should work well.

You can't expect a woman to want you for you and not your money and at the same time not expect her to want to know who you are so she CAN want you for you. It doesn't work that way.
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 168
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/16/2009 10:34:10 AM
.... if only it weren't so tedious trying to meet the other 97 things on her Must Have List.

Yes I know. It would be so much easier on men if all women were content with a simpleton who posesses no more common sense, empathy, and depth than a salmon swimming upstream. You might get an A for determination though.
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